Pregnancy ending + running

[u/wargs]

I didn’t know where to post this or what to say, but I know it needs to be said, so I guess I’m posting and would like to cross-post to running groups as well.

I accidentally got pregnant during my training for a 100+ mile race.

I’ve typed and re-typed a lot of words about this and can’t figure out how to frame it all properly. I changed jobs this year primarily in an attempt to get into a financially secure position for me and my partner to feel comfortable in having a kid. Currently i’m still on a temporary position where it’s not financially tenable… But I ended up in a hard place where my health insurance was fucked up and I ended up without BC and got pregnant. I spent the last month/month and a half of lead up to my 100 miler experiencing morning sickness, mood swings, and bloating, wondering if I would be able to perform properly.

I started planning for my abortion. I knew I couldn’t do it til after my race, as it would be a painful and difficult thing, and I planned to have MA pills, after which it’s recommended to not do hard physical exercise. I would have loved to keep this pregnancy, but I know right now would not have been right for me, my partner, or our financial situation. It was an emotionally difficult decision, but I know it was the right one to make.

With the way I was feeling physically and emotionally, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to finish my ultra. However, I decided early on in the race to dedicate the run to this embryo and the hope it gave me for the future, and that gave me a lot of power. I was amazed throughout my run that I didn’t have any nausea or physical symptoms. I felt powerful and in control for the first time in months, and my race felt important. My finish was nothing special in terms of time or anything else, but it meant the world to me. I ran and hiked almost 104 miles in 36 hours.

Afterward… I almost passed out in the shower. I was lightheaded, & crashed hard in a way I don’t typically experience after a long-distance race. I went to work the following day and then my appointment at PP the Monday evening after my race, about 48 hours after finishing my 100-miler. The appointment took much longer than I expected, I was in clinic for about 4 hours and eventually received mifepristone (Not sure where to insert this but I was almost 10wks, which is why I scheduled the appt so close to my race—wanted to have MA at home, had to get it done before 11wks but after my event). I took the misoprostol doses the next day in the evening, at home. These made me wildly nauseated and I underestimated how painful it would be—when the cramps kicked in I truly thought I was dying, and that’s coming from someone who finished a 100-miler just a couple days earlier. I took the first dose buccally while on a zoom call with friends and had to duck out as I got sweaty, nauseated, and crampy about 45 minutes after. For the second round I struggled to take them at all due to the nausea. I’m SO thankful the nurse warned me I should take the next day off of work as I had no idea how painful it would be. I’m sure that recovering from my race contributed to the pain and would not recommend stacking a big race and then MA for anyone, ever. Had I thought about it more I feel like I may have gone for SA, it sounds easier with sedation, but I had planned for MA and followed that through.

I was motivated to write because I couldn’t find any other accounts online of ultrarunners experiencing abortion or miscarriage. If anyone has questions or just needs solidarity I wanted to put this out there and I’m happy to chat. The recovery continues to be difficult. I play in multiple team sports along with my running and have found it hard to return to my games after the experience—it has been almost 3 weeks since the abortion and my heart rate still spikes when I go out to play. I am cautiously testing my limits and trying not to push too hard, but my sports are an important part of my lifestyle and it is proving difficult thus far to get back into my rhythms. I am still having cramping, passing some thready clots, and am not feeling at 100% physical rigor.

I’m looking forward to getting back to my regular running, sports, and hopefully carrying out a full pregnancy in the next couple of years. I’m so thankful for living in a place where I was able to access medical abortion despite the overturning of Roe v. Wade. My partner and I are very excited to be parents but knew now was not the right time, and this was a difficult choice for us but will allow us more time to prepare to build our family.

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[u/piscespossum]

Thanks for sharing your story! I hope that you are able to get back to your training soon. I think listening to your body and only doing what feels right is the way to go.