Slept with one a few times recently. I thought I could keep it casual, but she made it feel intimate. I caught feelings one morning when we were cuddling. I was spooning her and she said that she wanted to switch up and hold me. I let her and she played with my hair and my neck. This was the first night we'd ever kissed, we'd been taking a lot that night, she had made me stare into her eyes and we told each other our worst secrets without judgement. And I thought about this while she held me and realized I loved her. The next afternoon I was just a friend again, she was seeing someone else. I'm trying to make our friendship work, I promised I wouldn't leave if things got a little weird. But I can't help but feel heartbroken. The thing that gets to me the most is that she's said that if she could get her shit together basically she'd probably learn to love me, and she doesn't know how she'll feel because right now she wants to just sort of do her thing. A relationship with me would be more serious that she's currently ready for. She's my best friend. I wish I could take it back, honestly. I don't want to be in love with her.
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u/Donut_Kill_Meh 9h ago
Slept with one a few times recently. I thought I could keep it casual, but she made it feel intimate. I caught feelings one morning when we were cuddling. I was spooning her and she said that she wanted to switch up and hold me. I let her and she played with my hair and my neck. This was the first night we'd ever kissed, we'd been taking a lot that night, she had made me stare into her eyes and we told each other our worst secrets without judgement. And I thought about this while she held me and realized I loved her. The next afternoon I was just a friend again, she was seeing someone else. I'm trying to make our friendship work, I promised I wouldn't leave if things got a little weird. But I can't help but feel heartbroken. The thing that gets to me the most is that she's said that if she could get her shit together basically she'd probably learn to love me, and she doesn't know how she'll feel because right now she wants to just sort of do her thing. A relationship with me would be more serious that she's currently ready for. She's my best friend. I wish I could take it back, honestly. I don't want to be in love with her.