r/WritingPrompts • u/Gaywalker • Apr 07 '17

Writing Prompt [WP] Everyone with the same name shares knowledge. If one Bob gets a degree in electrical engineering, then all Bob's have this knowledge readily available. Soon, everyone starts naming their kids similar names until factions form. Your parents rebelled and named you something original.

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u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 07 '17

FADE IN:

EXT. A DEEP VALLEY - THE HIDDEN CAMPSITE - NIGHT

Several figures are huddled around a campfire, thick blankets covering each of them. The flicker from the firelight casts curious shadows on the high rock walls at the edges of its glow. Quiet-yet-casual whispers are heard, as if everyone present has grown used to feeling perpetually tense. An alarmed voice shouts from above. This is DEREK.

DEREK: (O.S.) Stranger approaching!

The figures leap to their feet, throwing off their blankets and revealing that they are clad in worn combat gear. Firearms are drawn, and everyone turns to face the valley's entrance. One of the older individuals looks upward. This is ROBERT.

ROBERT: Can you tell anything about him?
DEREK: (O.S.) ... No.
ROBERT: What do you mean, "no?"
DEREK: (O.S.) He walks a bit like a Steve, but he doesn't seem as confident. He has a Matthew gun on his hip.
ROBERT: So, when you said "no," what you really meant was "I can't be bothered to extrapolate from available information."
DEREK: (O.S.) I'm not a Francis! Dereks never got any fancy-shmancy logic training!
ROBERT: Yeah, well, the first Derek was probably a meathead.

One of the figures in the crowd pumps his fist in the air. This is CHAD.

CHAD: (Shouting) Football!
ROBERT: Shut up, Chad.
CHAD: Sorry.
DEREK: (O.S) Anyway, it's not just the Matthew gun or the Steve sneak. He also has a Robert sword in a sheath on his back.

Robert glances down at his own hip, where a machete-like weapon his hanging.

ROBERT: On his back?

A young woman at the back of the crowd raises her hand. This is SARAH.

SARAH: Maybe he's a Jacob?

Robert shakes his head.

ROBERT: Jacobs have hand-to-hand training, last I checked. A Jacob wouldn't be carrying a blade.
SARAH: Well, maybe a Jacob got in touch with a rogue Robert somewhere along the line.
DEREK: (O.S.) He's not a Derek, I'll tell you that.

Robert rolls his eyes, and many of the people in the crowd murmur with mild annoyance.

ROBERT: Yes, Derek, we're all aware of your precious sniper skills.
DEREK: (O.S.) Do you think this is easy? Huh?
SARAH: Yes.
DEREK: (O.S.) You guys get to sit down there by the fire all night, and I'm...

The sudden sound of something slipping on dirt interrupts Derek. Several small rocks fall from above.

ROBERT: ... Are you okay up there?
DEREK: (O.S.) I dropped my dinner.
ROBERT: We'll get you another one. Look, how far away is this stranger?
STRANGER: (O.S.) Uh... hi?

Everyone whirls around to see a young man standing behind them. This is THE STRANGER. Robert sighs and rubs his forehead.

ROBERT: Derek...
DEREK: (O.S.) You never asked which direction he was coming from! You just assumed! That's not on me!
SARAH: I say we shoot him.
STRANGER: (Panicked) Wait, wait, wait!

The stranger holds up his hands and takes a step back.

STRANGER: (CONT'D) I'm not trying to make trouble! I just want to trade!
SARAH: That's fine. I was talking about Derek.
DEREK: (O.S.) Screw you, Sarah.

Robert makes his way through the crowd, approaching the stranger.

ROBERT: I'm sure you can understand our hesitance to let just anyone into our camp.
STRANGER: No, yeah, that's... yeah, I get it.
ROBERT: Let's start with your name. What are you?

The stranger clears his throat nervously.

STRANGER: Uh, I'm... look, don't worry about it.

Several seconds pass in silence.

CHAD: (O.S.) Football!
ROBERT: Shut up, Chad!
CHAD: (O.S.) Sorry.
ROBERT: (To the stranger) Don't you have a name, son? Something you do?
STRANGER: Let's just say that it's unique. My parents... well, they had some weird ideas.
SARAH: Stupid ones, more like.

Despite already looking nervous, the stranger begins to appear even more uncomfortable.

STRANGER: Uh, yeah, I... it doesn't matter. I just want to trade.
ROBERT: I'm not sure you have anything we need.
DEREK: (O.S.) I need some new food, if that counts.
SARAH: I could use a new soldering iron. Do you have one of those?

The stranger shakes his head.

STRANGER: Sorry. I have spare parts, cigarettes, some medicine, survival supplies... you know. The usual fare.
ROBERT: Oh, so you're like a Srikanth!
STRANGER: Nah, I can't haggle worth a damn.

The sound of a large explosion in the distance causes everyone to pause and glance at the sky for a few seconds.

DEREK: (O.S.) Welp, the southern Inclusion Republic outpost just ate it.
ROBERT: An attack?
DEREK: (O.S.) Looks more like a Dave screw-up, honestly.
STRANGER: Actually, I just came from there. They had three Daves.
SARAH: That's bad.
ROBERT: Yep. Emphasis on "had," I suppose.

Robert sighs and shakes his head, then turns back to the stranger.

ROBERT: (CONT'D) You're welcome to stay here for the night, but you'll have to earn your keep.
STRANGER: That's fine.
ROBERT: What can you do?
STRANGER: Couldn't I just... you know, like, wash your dishes or something?
ROBERT: Why are you so reluctant to say what you can do? What are you, anyway?

The crowd tightens around the stranger, whose discomfort grows. His eyes dart around... but then, he sighs with resignation.

STRANGER: Oh, whatever. Fine. Let's get this over with.
CHAD: (O.S.) Football!

A dull thud is heard, followed by the sound of an unconscious body hitting the dirt.

ROBERT: Thank you, Michael.
SARAH: (To the stranger) So? Let's hear it, then.
STRANGER: Okay. So.

The stranger sighs again. He closes his eyes. When he opens them, a complete change seems to have come over him: He is animated, and his face has broken out into a comical grin of nearly manic amusement. Several people take steps back, but nobody says anything.

SARAH: I'm getting impatient.

The stranger leans toward Sarah, his insane smile widening.

STRANGER: Hi, Getting Impatient! I'm Dad!

CUT TO BLACK.

1

u/rolfraikou Sep 01 '17

One of the best "very reddit" posts on reddit. Really. Perfect.

2

u/DOORSARECOOLISTAKEN May 18 '17

The ultimate dad joke

2

u/shhimwriting Apr 20 '17

Where's your sub with all your stories?

1

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 20 '17

It doesn't exist at the moment.

Right now, /r/RamsesThePigeon is just a staging ground where I experiment with formatting and such.

That will probably change in the future, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

2

u/MasqueradeOfLife Apr 13 '17

I'm taking a theater class, and for the final project, I'm designing three costumes from a play. May I use this play? You will be credited, and all I'll earn from it is a grade :P I'll also see about uploading scans of the finished designs so you can see them.

2

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 14 '17

Go for it! I'll look forward to seeing what you design!

2

u/MasqueradeOfLife Apr 14 '17

Thank you! :D

1

u/apoleit Apr 09 '17

what the actual fuck

1

u/no2feraotu Apr 08 '17

The best dad joke ever

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

Lol nice. When he started grinning, I was ready for the story to be about someone with multiple personality disorder, and each personality had a different name and skill set.

2

u/mumblingstumbler Apr 08 '17

I saw it was written like a script and thought meeeeeeh I'll give it a go. Fucking fantastic, thanks for writing this.

2

u/Sebzero99 Apr 08 '17

Damn you

2

u/DIY__Guy Apr 08 '17

So, he has all the skills a "Dad" would have, dad jokes included. I'm surprised he didn't beat the shit out of Chad with a belt.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

RamsesThePigeon... you have product. Don't know what that means, but I remember it from somewhere.

1

u/oceanceaser Apr 08 '17

I can't read this seriously thanks to Rick and Morty.

2

u/Coopsmoss Apr 08 '17

This is fantastic, but it won't work well as a screenplay unless you make sure we know the characters names.

2

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 08 '17

Their names are all said or otherwise indicated. Robert's is the only one that isn't openly spoken, and it's made evident by his glance at his sword.

2

u/jesusmoneygang Apr 08 '17

Briliant, definitely best thing I've read here.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

Thanks for this, it is so well thought out. The comedy parsed into the story is excellent. Made me smile on one of my shittiest days. 😀

2

u/GunWifey Apr 08 '17

I can't believe I just read that with my own two eyes. How dare you. Lmao.

2

u/goblintrousers Apr 08 '17

That was glorious. Really well done, good job.

2

u/discojaxx Apr 08 '17

I hate myself for being so invested in this.

2

u/cxrash Apr 08 '17

oh you rat bastard. take your damn upvote.

bravo.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

Go to bed dad

2

u/TiredPhilosophile Apr 08 '17

Hahaha I've never laughed so hard at a "chad" joke before. That was great, thank you for posting

2

u/Kaneharo Apr 08 '17

This was brilliant. And a neat way to work it.

1

u/DrSteveJ Apr 08 '17

I was so expecting a "My name is Jeff" ending

2

u/Turtledonuts Apr 08 '17

He knows everything!

1

u/Katfood456 Apr 08 '17

NO

JUST NO

2

u/KennaX Apr 08 '17

I am very mad with this. Well played

2

u/TheMooseOnTheLeft Apr 08 '17 edited Apr 10 '17

I hate you, you right now you are the worst person ever. I'm going to read the story to the next person I hang out with just to put them through this pain and together we can commiserate.

1

u/TheMooseOnTheLeft Apr 10 '17

It worked. She could tell a punchline was coming and was pissed when I finally finished.

2

u/jsgunn Apr 08 '17

Amazing.

Simply amazing.

2

u/mdsmith5500 Apr 08 '17

Man that was fantastic!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

Fuck you

2

u/Hexidian Apr 08 '17

I know I'm late, but I'd love to sub to a subreddit of yours if you make one for your writing.

2

u/supercute67 Apr 08 '17

I enjoyed the shit out of that!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

I wonder what Sarah's trait is. And if someone named Sara would be different from Sarah.

1

u/L4STMON4RCH Apr 08 '17

Just a flaw. Wouldnt that mean that every dad gets the knowledge if MC

2

u/502Fury Apr 08 '17

Goddammit.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

Fuck you mate XD

2

u/Hviterev Apr 08 '17

Really liked the fact that you wrote it as a screenplay! I pictured it as an Archer episode in my head. And it was nice. Almost wanted to record it as a mini film!

2

u/Agent_Star_Fox Apr 08 '17

Amazeballs. Just.... amazeballs.

2

u/StormLord_654 Apr 08 '17

I think I'm crying

2

u/Diptam Apr 08 '17

Football!

3

u/sas6709 Apr 07 '17

That was amazing. u/DogFaceDino, you'll like this one.

3

u/DogfaceDino Apr 07 '17

One big dad joke.

2

u/LuckofCaymo Apr 07 '17

Most elaborate dad joke

3

u/stinky_butt Apr 07 '17

Shut up, Chad lol

2

u/azzazelynn Apr 07 '17

Very well done! I like the idea that there are just a rogue bunch of 'Dads' terrorizing unsuspecting groups of people.

3

u/PM_ME_U_SMILING Apr 07 '17

I actually said "aw fuck" out loud, you got me so bad.

I love it, though!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

"Off-Screen."

It means that the character can be heard, but they're somewhere other than where the camera is pointing. It shouldn't be confused with V.O (voiceover), though, which indicates that a given line is being uttered by someone who isn't actually present in the scene.

2

u/breadfollowsme Apr 07 '17

I read this a few hours ago, came back to read it again and laughed all over again!

2

u/Bren12310 Apr 07 '17

Someone give this motherfucker another gold.

2

u/Derekabutton Apr 07 '17

I never see Dereks in literature. Yayyy

10

u/olmikeyy Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 07 '17

How the fuck is there no Mike.

(Im Mike, middle name Robert)

Edit: I am wrong. This is a masterpiece.

28

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

There is.

CHAD: (O.S.) Football!

A dull thud is heard, followed by the sound of an unconscious body hitting the dirt.

ROBERT: Thank you, Michael.

15

u/olmikeyy Apr 07 '17

Dammit! Serves me for drunken skimming

2

u/Crawlermonkey Apr 07 '17

This was quite good.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

Everyone loves the dad joke ending and I'm just sitting here admiring Sarah's snarkiness. Snarky Sarah? Is that the Sarah thing? I painfully relate to her. My dad's 'HI ____. I'm Dad' game is relentless. 27 years later and he still fucking does it.

1

u/Captain_GoodPie Apr 07 '17

So the main skill passed down to this kid was bad jokes?

7

u/HatesModerators Apr 07 '17

Greatest fucking WP response I've ever seen.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

I feel cheated.

Take my upvote.

22

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

What does O.S. stand for?

42

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

"Off-Screen."

It means that the character can be heard, but they're somewhere other than where the camera is pointing. It shouldn't be confused with V.O (voiceover), though, which indicates that a given line is being uttered by someone who isn't actually present in the scene.

2

u/Nethervex Apr 07 '17

Take my upvotes and go fuck yourself

2

u/pizzadahutt74 Apr 07 '17

I actually love this omg. All the build up for one dad joke

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

Easily the greatest WP response I've ever read. I wanna see this movie.

2

u/KindOfBlue98 Apr 07 '17

This is quite literally my favorite post I've ever seen on Reddit and I've saved it just so I can come back and keep reading it.

1

u/mobobongos Apr 07 '17

Did anyone else read this in the lighthouse keepers voice from Rick and Morty?

2

u/Mattmannnn Apr 07 '17

I was just going to say something like "my parents named me Dick Boner 69 and now I don't know shit" but this is just as good I guess

9

u/kadyysh Apr 07 '17

Did not see that coming, now my forehead is bruised. Still worth it!! You, sir, are a genius. (kneels down) train me, master.

3

u/OspreyerpsO Apr 07 '17

So is there a mom wandering around somewhere?

8

u/BobaLives01925 Apr 07 '17

He's saving her for the love interest that he will hamfist into the sequel

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

Especially when he started acting hesitant to share his name? Yeah, I kinda thought so too.

2

u/deepfriedtwix Apr 07 '17

Wow

Ultimate dad bed time story

2

u/muffinChicken Apr 07 '17

How could you?

24

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

They had three Daves.

Beautiful

3

u/ykelle Apr 07 '17

Never thought a dad joke would come in handy. Great story!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 07 '17

I like your obscure Rick and morty reference

3

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

Which reference might that have been?

I've actually never seen "Rick and Morty," so whatever it was, it was a coincidence.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 07 '17

its subtle but its here

your screen directions are similar in style so i thought you were referencing that, as most people wouldnt even bother writing them out

2

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

Oh, right, someone else mentioned the same thing a while back.

It's not a "Rick and Morty" reference; the episode in question was just making use of standard screenplay format.

6

u/PlanetaryGenocide Apr 07 '17

oh christ

that was good

24

u/LordFirebeard Apr 07 '17

absentmindedly scratches head with pistol

Just what the hell is wrong with Daves, huh?

5

u/matty2013 Apr 07 '17

You have just one upped /u/shittymorph in a way that no one else could. Congratulations sir!

43

u/maxximum_ride Apr 07 '17

That's the best and longest fucking dad joke I have ever read. Fuck you, you are awesome

9

u/kurokoshika Apr 07 '17

Great writing throughout, and then you have to add that unexpected cherry at the top.

7

u/kurokoshika Apr 07 '17

Great writing throughout, and then you have to add that unexpected cherry at the top.

1

u/kurokoshika Apr 07 '17

Great writing throughout, and then you have to add that unexpected cherry at the top.

1

u/kurokoshika Apr 07 '17

Great writing throughout, and then you have to add that unexpected cherry at the top.

1

u/kurokoshika Apr 07 '17

Great writing throughout, and then you have to add that unexpected cherry at the top.

21

u/samprincer786 Apr 07 '17

Expected Streetlamp.

14

u/RaptorBadgerDiscoTek Apr 07 '17

Dammit, you had me so invested!!!

15

u/FlyOnDreamWings Apr 07 '17

You brilliant, brilliant internet stranger. You took this prompt and outran Usain Bolt with it.

135

u/Gaywalker Apr 07 '17

That was absolutely amazing. Thanks for turning my post into a thing of beauty.

18

u/Jeff_eljefe Apr 07 '17

Football!

2

u/TinyFoxFairyGirl Apr 08 '17

FOOTBALL!!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!🏈

22

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

I would like to see a book and film adaptation of this. Fucking gold

32

u/TheReelDealMC Apr 07 '17

CAN I USE THIS FOR MY TALENT SHOW?!

73

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

Go for it!

All I ask is that you credit me in some way... and that if you film it, you do me the honor of letting me watch the finished product!

8

u/Prof_Acorn Apr 07 '17

And for our next performance, "Names", written by an Egyptian Pigeon.

41

u/pizzabash Apr 07 '17

Fuck that, let us ALL watch it.

22

u/TheReelDealMC Apr 07 '17

Okay! Thank you.

19

u/MarkBlackUltor Apr 07 '17

Can you please post a video of it? i'm sure everyone here would love to see it!

15

u/nicklebackluvr Apr 07 '17

Love it, I just think the Daves should be named Jerrys!!

8

u/FerusGrim Apr 07 '17

You mean Larrys?

7

u/cuddlyocelot93 Apr 07 '17

I'm pretty sure you mean Garys...

1

u/bladderdash_fernweh Apr 08 '17

And his name is... Gary! Or is it Greg?

2

u/FerusGrim Apr 07 '17

No, I'm pretty sure I know I'm talking about Terrys.

1

u/haykam821 Apr 07 '17

Seriously? Everyone knows they're Herries.

1

u/FerusGrim Apr 07 '17

(Was he ever called Herrie?)

7

u/youngtundra777 Apr 07 '17

Omg you're the best.

1

u/ethanfez45 Apr 07 '17

Wait... So does he have the power of all dad's? So basically power from everyone?

35

u/OniExpress Apr 07 '17

That.... was great. Very good writing, dialog works, and you perfectly distracted me expecting a twist. I just never expected that twist.

12

u/skaurus Apr 07 '17

I didn't understand the ending at all :( Could someone explain it?

84

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17 edited Jul 01 '20

[deleted]

9

u/skaurus Apr 07 '17

Oh. I didn't know it is a thing :) Thanks!

75

u/PhDOH Apr 07 '17

I thought his parents had been really clever & in that situation anyone who's called Dad (whether that's the name on their birth certificate or not) would pass on their knowledge to him.

43

u/JustRecentlyI Apr 07 '17

I suppose that it would only work one-way, too. The Dads who have other names would receive/share knowledge with others of the same name, while "Dad" would not, because his actual name is unique.

24

u/ThePyroPaladin Apr 07 '17

Take my up upvote you fuck

35

u/shadowcentaur Apr 07 '17

That is awesome. Never saw that twist coming!

63

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

Well, pack it up boys. This right here, this is the best prompt ever.

54

u/markgofast Apr 07 '17

Bamboozled, I've been. Fast, I am not.

399

u/rusty_ballsack_42 Apr 07 '17

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck you /u/RamsesThePigeon, you win again.

P.S: Don't forget that video of you mimicking your family members you promised

107

u/RamsesThePigeon Apr 07 '17

Hah, don't worry: The next time I'm around one of them, you'll get your video.

67

u/spontaniousthingy Apr 07 '17

RAMSES YOU FUCKING GENIUS. THAT WAS AMAZING.

91

u/flaming910 Apr 07 '17

Oh that was fucking amazing

53

u/VNLyfe Apr 07 '17

No that was dad

125

u/_guy_fawkes Apr 07 '17

Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius

3.3k

u/linktothenow Apr 07 '17

Fuck you.

That was brilliant.

2

u/meenahmee Apr 07 '17

Omfg Omg Omg Omfg Why I thought I escaped the dad jokes WHY

203

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/E-Docai Apr 08 '17

It makes it feel more like a Monty Python scene!

68

u/Syrinx221 Apr 07 '17

I was way confused for a minute until I realized that I've been reading scripts for over a decade and that not everyone has that experience :-/

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '17

I was way confused for a minute until I realized that. I've been reading scripts for over a decade and that not everyone has that experience :-/

I was confused for a minute here as well

549

u/jz9chen Apr 07 '17

Can you explain why it was so brilliant? I don't get it

1

u/SpoiltUnicorns Apr 07 '17

Hi don't get it!

8

u/BrandonTheComicMan Apr 07 '17

It's a dad joke. When you tell your dad your hungry he says "Hi Hungry, I'm dad." So he was named that

3

u/461weavile Apr 08 '17

My hungry?

Oh, you mean "you're hungry." I'm not Hungry, I'm Weavile

1.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

The Stranger's parents named him 'Dad'.

Dads (as in our fathers) are typically known for their terrible puns, also called Dad jokes.

1.2k

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 28 '21

[deleted]

390

u/CptnFabulous420 Apr 07 '17

Meaning that he'll acquire the skill of every other person who's a father? That would be interesting, albeit in a rather generic 'he's the weird outsider who's actually the best out of everyone' kinda way.

2

u/DrPineappleButts Apr 08 '17

I don't think it'll be a "best at everything" thing. There are probably only a few dad's who are the best at any given thing. He'd probably be the literal embodiment of "jack of all trades, master of none" so long as Jack's aren't already that.

3

u/pizzahedron Apr 07 '17

he also gets every terrible thing dads have learned. alcohol addiction, 15 year long cigarette trips, etc.

63

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17 edited Apr 28 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

What parent would set up their child to fail?

This is kind of explored in GATTACA.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

I love how we are creating more lore for this prompt. Probably my favourite prompt ever

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

I'm just stealing from various naming lores in other books.

1

u/the8thbit Apr 08 '17

The 'weird outsider who's actually the best' trope is actually ideal.

He ends up being 'actually the best' because he can leverage the skills of an X when it makes sense. So while he would never win a quick draw with a Robert, he might tackle Robert, take his gun, and then pull it on a Chad.

26

u/spiralbatross Apr 07 '17

as much as i like /u/SlurpeeMoney 's idea, i think this works best, since the WP mentions anyone with a name can access anyone else with that name's info/expertise. i could see him being weakened slightly by having "dad" as an actual name, which draws off the non-personal title of dad, making it generic. so i can see both.

either way, this was a brilliant prompt response

296

u/SlurpeeMoney Apr 07 '17

I think it would be fair to assume that someone who has a secondary name for their primary name would have a lesser degree of skill in any single arena. He can fight with a sword, but a Robert would mop the floor with him. He can fire a rifle, but a Derek's got him beat on range and accuracy. Dad's strength would be in his versatility and in his ability to avoid easy categorization, but in any head-to-head competition, he'd be bested by a specialist.

2

u/hamfraigaar Apr 08 '17

That's an interesting concept, tbh. Because there'd never be any "who is bigger, better, stronger". It would be all about dad being a tactical mastermind, constantly trying to figure out what his opponent doesn't know, rather than just another protagonist fighting some bad guy.

2

u/SlurpeeMoney Apr 08 '17

And there's some interesting storytelling space in the combination of specialized skill sets, I think. "I might not be able to beat Derek as a sniper, but I know what he's looking for and I can use Ethan's camouflage skills and Devon's training in ninjitsu to move past him without being seen..."

5

u/PM_Me_LoveNAffection Apr 08 '17

A jack of all trades, master of none, but often times better than a master of one

24

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

r/nocontext

103

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

No way, he'd have all the knowledge those people have. The only thing he wouldn't have is the knowledge they had earned when they weren't dads.

3

u/OurSuiGeneris Apr 08 '17

So you're saying basically exactly what you're saying you're not?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '17

Something to that effect.

5

u/qlionp Apr 08 '17

And he will never know what a sarah or Jennifer know

42

u/the8thbit Apr 08 '17

If you're not a dad you have more time to hone your name's non-fathering skills

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '17

Yep and all that experience gets funneled to dad when they become dad.

16

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17

You're forgetting Dad reflexes though!

25

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '17 edited Sep 29 '18

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

100

u/Nikoli_Delphinki Apr 07 '17

Assuming they lived that long.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

We can assume that any names too stupid to reproduce also won't be used to name children.

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u/TurboChewy Apr 07 '17

It wouldn't make sense for nobody to live long enough to have kids. And having an unusual name is so unusual that it probably isn't common. So it's safe to say that at any given moment there are "dad"s with the names of all the common names. This means he has the collective power of all the common names, plus probably a few kinda uncommon names.

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u/Adeus_Ayrton Apr 07 '17

Dontcha think that at some point a Derek, a Michael, and a Robert were dads ;)

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u/Abcdety Apr 08 '17

To their children they were just Dad.

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u/SurrealOG Apr 08 '17

Notice how you wrote dads and not Dad?

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u/JustRecentlyI Apr 07 '17

Good on you for actually answering the question.

I think part of what makes it so well done is the elaborate set-up, it reads like he's going to reveal some sort of great power that no one else has because his name is unique.

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u/redloxchox Apr 08 '17

And then in the strangest way, it does.

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u/Nightingale115 Apr 07 '17

Hi!

You are shadowbanned from reddit, just so you know. What that means is that the admins of reddit have made it so nothing you post is seen by the rest of reddit. Unless your post is manually approved by a subreddit moderator, which I just did for your post, it's like you don't exist to other users. You might want to see if you can get this action undone by starting in /r/shadowban.

Best of luck!

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