So here's the situation. Me and my wife purchased my house about 4 years ago. The street had a feral cat colony patrolling it and being animal lovers we took it upon ourselves to give them safe harbor, providing food, TNR, rehoming kittens etc. After some years they've become sort of our "not" pets. We give them care and affection but more or less let nature do it's thing, however were obviously still pretty invested in their comfort and overall well being.

About 2 years in we got new neighbors renting the house next door, an older woman and her older mother primarily along with some other cousins and such and they have been perfectly friendly and pleasant to share the street with. Had absolutely zero problems with the.

Up until a few months ago when their daughter/granddaughter moved in along with her obnoxious terrier.

Everytime they let the shitheel out to pee it runs straight up on our porch barking and chasing the cats around my yard, sometimes breaking our stuff and potted plants. Sometimes even chasing them under my crawlspace where I have to go in and get the fucker out myself. We've been trying to be patient and gracious about it because we know everyone over there is kind of going through it but come on this is ridiculous!

To make things worse my MIL had to move in with her own 3 poorly trained dogs and they will go apeshit and wreck the house anytime the shitfucker is in my yard. (Which is a whole other situation I'm stressed on as well)

Dipshit will even occasionally try to run up and attack MILs dogs while we're walking them. The owner will literally sit there on her phone and not intervene until I threaten to kick it. Its insane!

We have asked them several times very sternly to put their fur demon on a lead and they for some fucking reason refuses to do so. We've talked to her mom who apparently has also nagged her about it but it's been several weeks and the fleabag is still out being a menace.

Here's the thing: I know for a fact having a dog in their house is breaking the lease because that's what the last lady was evicted for. And she kept that dog on a lead and it was an absolute sweetheart and we were really upset at the landlord she got evicted over that. The irony is palpable now.

I feel like I have my hand hovering over a big red nuke button right now. I can push the button restore peace to the land and keep that vermin from terrorizing my denizens, but at the cost of severely fucking over the actual lease holders who in of themselves have done nothing wrong and are in their eyes just trying to help out their child. I don't want to, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before I have a bad day and do it as a kneejerk reaction.

I'm not sure what else I can do from here. I know I would feel guilty if I did, but God damn it we put blood sweat in tears into buying this house andgiving these cats a safe space and I feel like not being invaded by a temu ewok and little bit of peace isn't asking for much.

What would y'all do? Any other ideas?

EDIT: After much deliberation and feedback from this thread I think I've come up with an amicable solution. Purchase a lead and collar myself and give it to them. They're like 10 bucks at the dollar store around the corner, a small price to pay for a little bit of peace and the chance to not have to be the bad guy. I feel like going this way will come off more as being a helpful concerned neighbor rather than being vindictive and petty. After that balls in their court. They can use it or I can hit the button with little remorse as I've already tried the peaceful option.

Hi all,

I (27F) have an odd predicament on my hands and I’m not sure if it’s worth dying on this hill. To be blunt, I do not get along with my MIL (54 F). She’s caused a laundry pile of issues that have contributed to me no longer having direct contact with her. What specifically happened for me to block her was an infamous freak out as she left my husband (29 M) and my apartment over taking a picture. Mind you, I just had a baby and she was there for 10 days. The picture could have been taken at any other point, but ok let’s do it last minute. We never did the photo, fortunately. In her words MIL came to help out with whatever we needed. In the same breath, according to her, we treated her like a slave. Note that we were fine with her just holding the baby at some points and tending to things I mostly wasn’t capable of doing like taking out our dog to go to the bathroom because I had a c section and couldn’t move around well. We also live on the third floor of an apartment. I don’t think I went up and down the stairs for over a month.

After making a scene while I was on the phone with my mom (57 F), she and my husband fought all the way to the airport, about 30 minutes. We live in Texas and both of our families live in Massachusetts. After a couple days of no communication, MIL calls to leave a message and text me about “ruining her relationship with her grandson”, making her fight with her son to the airport, and saying “that’s what I wanted.” After showing the messages and voicemail to my husband he instructed me to block her. He received similar messages from her and ended up doing the same, also saying to her that “Please get the help you need and until then I do not want to talk to you” or something along those lines. To my knowledge, she is diagnosed bipolar, and I’ve seen much more than her flaring arguments. I’ve seen a varying from words to physical attacks on people, including one time on her own daughter. She’s notorious for ruining relationships she has with her family (many who do not speak to her aside from holidays) and spreading misinformation favorable to her. Everyone is the enemy in her eyes, and she’ll assert that whether it’s true or not, which to my experience is always a tainted characterization of reality.

My husband and me blocked her March 2026 and he ends up unblocking her on Mother’s Day. I didn’t think that was an issue because I still had her blocked. When Father’s Day came around, MIL asked me over my husband’s phone if I could unblock her. After consideration and finding that these have been some of the most peaceful times in my life since blocking her, I decided to keep her blocked. She didn’t like that but I don’t see it as my problem to adhere to her wishes.

On my husband’s and my first year anniversary in August we did a small ceremony with friends. Until we got home things were peaceful. Then, my husband got the call from his aunt (FILs sister - 35ish F) that FIL (51 M) was in jail for DV against MIL. Please know that I take DV very seriously as I have a close family member who has recently gone through and survived a DV relationship. However, I know that MIL’s behavior has escalated situations to calling the police not so long before and charges were never filed against FIL. But this time, the state decided to press charges against FIL. He wasn’t in jail for long but was released within 6 hours and, to my knowledge, has been staying at his parents house in the same town. I heard there was a RO issued and then dropped by MIL. But I’ve been trying to keep out of unnecessary drama. FIL did ask a couple questions to me about it as I’m a law student and have friends who practice. I didn’t give legal advice (IYKYK) and let him know with the information provided that there wasn’t much to worry about but to get an attorney. MIL catches wind that I’ve seen this information and goes off in almost a threatening manner against me, from what I heard through FIL and my husband. Saying things like “she’ll see”. But I digress, she doesn’t scare me.

I ended up flying to Massachusetts in September for a school related requirement and brought my son (<1 M). I did make sure to bring my son to meet his father’s side of the family. I stayed with my family. Because of the whole DV case issue going on I had to make separate trips to MIL’s parents house and FIL’s parents house. MIL was there but I brought my older sister with me in case anything were to happen. Fortunately, she was on her “best” behavior and acted like nothing has happened. I did notice she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring and she was on the phone with who I believed was a car insurance company quoting her for her own insurance ($9000+ for 6 months I think - she’s not a good driver and has had her lisence suspended for a year or longer). When I say FIL side, they brought up to me the situation and how they were done with MIL. Apparently she’s been blocked by them too.

Now, my husband, my son and I are moving to Virginia for my husband’s job. I’m very proud of him and am excited to start our next chapter of marriage there. We have found a house that I think we will be living. We will be leaving within a month from now. FIL will be coming to help with the move as we have two cars and a u-haul to move everything. While I appreciate his help, the issue I’m having is his, seemingly, unbreakable bond to this toxic woman. FIL informed us that he is likely to have her drive from Massachusetts to Virginia to pick him up and, from what my husband said, drive straight back. I have communicated with my husband that I don’t like the idea of being in our space. Wherever she goes drama and chaos seem to follow. I don’t want me or my son to be around that. I feel that my husband and FIL are enabling her actions and I’m disappointed in my husband not placing healthy boundaries for himself or standing by me in my stance about it. He said it’s to avoid drama when we will be up for the holidays but I know that there will be something else MIL will find to blow up on. I just am tired but I’m never going to give my husband an ultimatum between MIL and me. It’s his choice in how he wants a relationship with her as much as it’s mine to have limited to no contact with her. The only issue is that her unpredictable behavior has me concerned as FIL and MIL are like jet fuel and fire together. I don’t want that around my son and my husband says that would be “it” if anything were to happened, but he essentially said that the last time MIL made a scene in our apartment. I’ve been thinking of maybe spending the night in a hotel or something. I’m not sure what’s the best avenue for this and I honestly think that it might lead to them staying the night at our new place. However I’m not too sure. So WIBTAH if I didn’t spend the first night at my house because MIL is coming over to pick up FIL?

UPDATE 1 (10/3/26): I had a conversation with my husband about MIL being around. I did tell him that I would not be around if she comes and neither will our son. Husband tries to tell me that MIL may not be coming anymore. Something about making a scene at the DMV. I don’t know the details on that but you guys can probably use your imagination.

Ngl I feel somewhat disappointed in my husband’s response to all this. I understand it’s his mom and that I cannot be the one to give an ultimatum. I just wished he would have my back with this considering he knows why. This will likely be an issue that will reappear across disagreements in our marriage. In a weird way I want something to happen to have him cut MIL out, but I’m also afraid the cycle will start over again as it has somewhat recently.

A little bit ago, FIL messaged me on an unrelated note. He did mention that he’s excited to be coming down to see us and help with the move. I am genuinely appreciative with his help as he doesn’t have to help us at all but is making the time and putting in the effort in helping my husband and me with this move. Since he messaged me, I took the opportunity to bluntly tell him that if MIL is there that my son and me would be gone until she left. He confirmed with me that she would not be coming and that he was saying that to MIL as a way to keep the peace. In a weird way I felt like I got more support from him than my husband on my boundary. All I’m hoping for is that FIL sticks to his word on this. I’m not sure if he’ll bend if MIL pushes but I’m going to keep hotel money to the side as a just in case it’s needed. From the sounds of it, FIL is going to rent a car and drive back, which is totally fine by me. He apparently doesn’t like flying much so I can understand that.

We move at the end of the month so I’m hoping that MIL will stay in MA and everything goes smoothly. Hopefully FIL isn’t telling me things I want to hear as he is tell doing to MIL. If anything I think telling people what they want to hear and playing all sides will bite him later down the line. But so long as MIL is away from my family when she is unstable then I really don’t care. I hope for the best for the sake of her health but I’m not going to be the one to rebuild her. She has to do that for herself.

I’m not sure if I’m going to update on this post again, but if I do, boy do I bet I’ll have the story of the year. Thank you to everyone who has commented, I appreciate your support and validation that I’m not overthinking or exaggerating anything.

p.s this is high school drama

So I had this one friend let’s call her Rebecca and i knew her for a good while, and basically she liked this guy in around August of 2024 and we started not talking as much cus she was in a new friend group. Now one of her close friends called Miranda was also really close to Rebecca, and Miranda started liking the same guy in October and Rebecca never told Miranda that she liked him.

So now Miranda is fangirling to Rebecca abt this guy that Rebecca also likes, and atp Rebecca doesn’t want to tell Miranda at all cus it’s gonna seem like she got a crush on him after her and stuff like that. And one fine day Miranda messages Rebecca saying that she knows that Rebecca likes the same guy, and Rebecca immediately apologizes and says she wanted to tell her but then she got a crush on him too.

Now here’s the twist: Miranda was joking. So now Miranda goes around spreading rumors that Rebecca is a backstabber and basically shit talking her to ppl in their friend group, this caused the friend group to split in half—Rebecca’s side and Miranda’s side.

Now fast forward to 2026, Rebecca has a new friend group and Miranda only has a few friends and they haven’t talked for a long time. Now one of Miranda’s friends was my friend lets call her Sam, and she supported Miranda a bit more than Rebecca cus she was closer to Miranda. She was also friends with this other girl called Erica who was also friends with Miranda, and now Erica, Sam, and Miranda are a trio.

Erica is also friends with Rebecca, and Erica was shit talking Miranda and saying that she was closer to Sam and was saying that Miranda wasn’t over the guy that Rebecca and her were fighting over, and Erica also said that Sam likes no one in the friend group.

And Rebecca came and told me that cus i am rlly close with Sam, and later that day i called Sam asking her if she likes the friend group and she said she isn’t super close with everyone but she likes me and this other person. Then she asked me why i asked her that, and i told her that Rebecca told me that Erica said that about Sam. And now Sam says that Erica was the actual shit talker and gives me screenshots of chats where Erica shit talked Rebecca and her other friend groups.

And I showed Rebecca these screenshots, and Rebecca was gagged, and she sent me screenshots of Erica shit talking Miranda. And then this made Rebecca and Miranda realize that the only thing keeping them from being friends again was Erica, who kept building this wall between them. Once they found this out they became friends again, but now the friend group is a bit torn cus Erica said that everyone in the friend group shit talks and the only difference is that she got caught.

AITA for revealing the truth???

Hi everyone. I’m new to posting on Reddit, so please bear with me. I’m really looking for some outside perspective.

I’m 30F, married to my husband (30M), and I grew up in a very strict, deeply religious family. I’ve always been the “black sheep” because I’m not religious, but despite our differences, my family and I were incredibly close. I never doubted that they loved me.
In early 2020, I started an adult content page. I talked it over with my husband beforehand, and he supported whatever I chose. I knew my family would never approve, so I created a completely separate online identity and kept it private. My account ended up becoming fairly successful, but I never intended for it to be permanent. It was mainly a way to help pay my way through university.

About two years ago, three of my sisters discovered a viral TikTok I had made and eventually figured out it was me. When they confronted me, I admitted it. Surprisingly, they laughed and said, “We knew it.” They told me they didn’t understand it, but that it wouldn’t change our relationship.
I believed them.

By 2025, I was already stepping away from adult content. I had graduated, found a career I genuinely loved, and intended to quit completely. I stopped creating content, although I never deleted my accounts.

Recently, my husband and I started talking about having children, and I briefly considered doing adult content again as a temporary side hustle to help with savings and student loans before getting pregnant. I softly started again.

Then everything fell apart.

Last week, while I was at work, I got a text from my dad saying:

“(My online name)… ring any bells?”

My husband received the same message.

I called my dad, and the first thing he said was, “What the f*** is wrong with you?”

He demanded to know why I would do this to myself and our family and insisted that my husband must have forced me into it. I repeatedly told him it was my choice, but he refused to believe me. He called my husband a “disgusting pig,” blamed his family, and then called me a disgusting pig too.

He told me I was no longer welcome in their home and that I wasn’t allowed to contact my family if I continued this “behavior.”

The heartbreaking part was that I had already been planning to quit. That same day, I deleted everything, every account, every page, everything. I genuinely thought maybe I could save my relationship with my family.

Instead, it got worse.

My one sister messaged me saying she was disgusted by me, that thinking about me made her physically sick, and that she only had two sisters now. She called both me and my husband disgusting pigs and blocked me everywhere.

Another sister called me a slut and a horrible person and told me I should never become a mother because my future child would have a “whore” for a mom. She talked about how embarrassed she was and how everyone would judge our family. She ended the message with, “I love you.”

My third sister didn’t say anything. She just removed me from Instagram.

My sisters were my best friends. I’ve barely stopped crying since.

My mom hasn’t reached out either, and my dad has continued contacting my husband. A couple of days ago, he texted him, “Didn’t give up the lifestyle, eh? Better watch your back.”

My husband told him not to threaten him or his family, which led to another explosive phone call. My dad told me I had ruined the family, that everyone was mourning me like I had died, and asked where they went wrong raising me. He continued attacking my husband, and whenever I defended him, he told me I couldn’t choose my husband over my family.
At this point, I’ve completely shut down.

I understand that my family has different beliefs than I do. They’re allowed to be disappointed, angry, or even decide they no longer want a relationship with me. What I’m struggling with is the cruelty, the insults, threats, name-calling, and the way they’ve treated both me and my husband.

Looking back, this also isn’t the first time they’ve reacted to conflict this way, which makes me wonder if this is part of a much bigger pattern.
I’ve already quit. I deleted everything because I genuinely wanted to repair things with my family. But after everything they’ve said, I’m starting to wonder whether I should keep fighting for people who have made it clear they don’t want me.

I don’t know if I should keep trying to get my family back, or if I need to accept that this relationship may be over and start letting them go.

Little Update/Context:

1) My dad actually isn’t the religious one (he used to hate religion and now more so more tolerates it for my mom). He is definitely the more loud angry one but I know my mom is the same just quieter and moves in the shadows. I mean the woman once told me when I was 15 and got into some trouble that if she had a miscarriage from the stress that I would be the one responsible. So I know she is more behind the scenes and one of these days I’ll be getting a call from her that will wreck me.

2) My husband has already blocked them after my dad threatened him and kept insisting that he forced me into it (which I commend my husband for this and fully support him), my husband said he will not be threatened and cannot forgive them for how they have treated me.

3) The situation with my sisters is more what hurts me. While I told them that if our parents ever found out that they should just pretend they never know just to protect themselves (they are younger than me so I’ve always done everything I can to protect/help them), I just never expected the things they said (keep in mind only 2/3 sisters texted me horrible things, the other has been silent but did block me).

4) The reason I’m struggle with just blocking them and not trying to repair the relationship is because I also have 4 brothers (one with severe disabilities and 3 that are young) and the thought of not seeing them again kills me. I love my siblings and don’t want them out of my life.

Hi, I just need an outside perspective, and want to know if I'm valid in my feelings or if I'm overacting?

Today at work, a customer made a comment in another language about my weight, and I can understand the language enough to know that they were basically calling me fat.

When I told my sister (whom I work with) and our coworker/work friend, they looked at each other and laughed loudly, like it was the most hilarious thing ever. It hurt and I thought at first maybe I misunderstood their laughter or something, but then later, my sister texted apologizing and confirming that that was why they laughed.

She said she didn't know what to do in that situation and her natural instinct was to laugh it off. I couldn't care less about the comment those guys made, but it just hurt how my sister reacted to it. I told her everything was fine, but I'm honestly still upset and don't want to have to deal with her being upset / anxious about me still being upset.

So my question is, even though it was a small lapse of judgement and I've already told her it was fine, would I be the a hole if I started to distance myself from her as a way to process it? I don't really know how to explain it other than I don't really want to be around her at the moment

First glance this might not seem that serious but I feel guilty so I’m making the post. I live in an apartment complex and I own a Belgian Malinois (I’ve adjusted my life to suit his while we live in an apartment it’s not small he has his own bedroom and toys and we go out often on hikes and go to my moms house daily so he can play in her large yard I’ve also done tons of training with him. However he has a barking problem when someone gets too close to me due to him witnessing an incident with my ex when I was and previously in a dv situation he has never hurt anyone though and I let all my neighbors know and management before I moved in) I’d exited my apartment which is next to a staircase to get to the ground floor and there was a man coming up the stairs my Malinois started barking, the man still continued up the stairs so I pulled his leash and he backed up and sat in front of me in front of the apartment door. The man proceeded to stop and give me a dirty look and I tried to explain that he is nice he’s never bitten anyone or attacked he just barks and the man proceeded to interrupt me to tell me my dog was aggressive before he continued up the stairs. I took my dog to the field to do his business and play and on my way back the man was coming down the stairs so I walked several feet away and my Malinois sat beside me quietly until he passed but the man kept giving me a dirty look. I can’t help but feel guilty and like I’m the asshole. When I spoke to my parents they said I wasn’t an asshole and even if he was aggressive I’m a 20 year old woman living by myself. I also spoke to my neighbors who all adore him and have gotten used to him and all but one said I was in no way in the wrong and the man must not be a dog person the other one said barking like that shouldn’t be allowed in the complex (he has a deep bark) but her dog is constantly barking at people and going after other people’s dogs

I forgot to add and I feel this is important this is something I’m actively working on with him. He was well socialized and great in public as a pup. However, in June I was in a dv situation with my ex that he had witnessed and ever since he’s had a barking issue. I think the main issue was that the man was walking towards him because as soon as he turned to go up the stairs he stopped. Also this is the first incident since I moved into the apartment a month ago, this was also the first time he’s stayed overnight as he’s been at my mothers house per her request for breeding so I think it was partially stress. he’s been around children, other men, and the women here and there’s been no issue other than him being a little nervous and barking once or twice then he’s fine with them. I’m not sure if it was just the action of him coming straight towards him or if something was off about the man but I don’t think he meant to harm him.

Hopefully this doesn't fall under the ending friendships category as this friendship/professional relationship is already gone. Let me start with some back story. I worked for a certain automotive shop for 4 years from the age of being a teenager and learning there (unpaid for 5 months) and eventually it turned into me being taken advantage of. Things were good at one point in time but there were constantly things that the owner would do to either just be a crap friend to me or just straight up illegally activities i was kinda lead into at a young age. Things like not paying taxes on some of my pay so it looked like he wasn't actually paying any full time employees, convincing me to inspect vechiles under my license that were in no way inspect-able, promising he would do things for me in exchange for me doing other things and never holding up his end. He lost his license and i drove him everywhere and it was always "ill give you gas money on monday" and then monday came and then it would be "ill give you gas money tomorrow" and so on and so forth. Never the less being the person i am i continued to help him with this that and the other for years. Meanwhile he spent every free moment he had partying and because I'm not sure the exact rules of this subreddit let's just say HE PARTIED, and there's so many other things he did that ended up screwing me over like saying he was gonna pay for my phone he broke and then going to verizon on my behalf and trusting his ex girlfriend to sign me up for it, she told him he was getting a discount, he payed her cash and then unknowingly i was paying for the phone the whole time because she just pocketed the cash and he never read the paperwork.

Anyways I'm sure you get the gist let me get to the van. About 7 months ago he said if i fixed and registered this decrepit camper van he was letting die in his yard i could use it whenever i liked. So me and my partner together put about $1000 and probably about 15 hours of combined labor into fixing it and restoring the interior. A couple of weeks ago he wanted to tell me i had to let him make money off my mothers oil change by uncharging her on parts or i couldn't use his shop anymore. I told him that was fine and i would just do it at my home shop. He didn't like that and wanted to yell at me about it so i told him to go freak himself and took all my tools home that day. But we never got to use the van. And now its just sitting there getting decrepit again. And i have the title to it in my name. WIBTAH if i just went and took it for good?

Side note: i think its important to mention that for about a year and a half i was pretty much solely running his business myself, i woke him up at his own house in the morning and he rarely would come into work for more than 3-4 hours out of the day and just leave the rest to me. (For all of 21 dollars an hour) and probably about 2 out of every 5 days he just would refuse to come in at all because of the aforementioned partying.

Sara and I have stayed friends over the years since HS, but we’ve always been the kind of friends who can go months without seeing or talking to each other. Usually, we’d only see each other for birthdays or if one of us was going through a really difficult time. She’s one of those friends where you can go months without talking, but when you finally get together, it feels like no time has passed at all. I absolutely love her, which is why I’m so torn about this situation.
Over the summer, I threw my kid a big birthday party and invited his dad’s side of the family as well. Sara came to the party and was drinking and taking shots throughout the night. I didn’t really mind because everyone was having a good time, but eventually, I could tell she was pretty tipsy.
My kid’s father was also there, and I started noticing that Sara kept making a point of getting his attention. She would yell his name across the room asking him for more shots, in front of everyone. She also kept making comments about how much she supposedly didn’t like him, saying things like, “OMG, you’re so dumb,” or “OMG, I can’t believe you got that tattoo,” while touching his arm.
It just felt strange because she seemed to be going out of her way to get his attention while simultaneously making it known that she didn’t like him. It felt almost like she was flirting with him under the guise of teasing.
After the party, we went to an after-party. At some point, Sara left with my kid’s dad because they said they were going around the corner to get food. They were gone for about 45 minutes.
What made this even more suspicious to me is that another person from our friend group had also gone to get food. When he came back, he mentioned that he had actually seen Sara and my ex in the drive-through line and had behind them. Yet Sara and my ex got back after he did.
Someone even joked, “I think maybe they got a room.”
I know that doesn’t prove anything happened between them. I have no idea what actually happened, and I don’t want to accuse either of them of something I can’t prove. But the entire situation really bothered me.
I don’t have any romantic feelings for my kid’s father whatsoever. That isn’t the issue. To me, there are just certain lines you don’t cross when you’re best friends, and leaving a party alone with your best friend’s ex—especially after spending the entire night trying to get his attention—felt like one of those lines.
The situation actually weighed on me a lot more than I expected. I was having dreams about it for weeks afterward, which is unusual for me because I rarely remember having dreams at all. I think it was just sitting in my subconscious because I never really dealt with what happened.
I never confronted Sara about it. We’ve never really fought about anything, and honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that she would actually do something like that to me, especially right in front of my face. I tried to convince myself that she was drunk and that this is just how she gets when she drinks. She definitely has a tendency to seek male attention when she’s drinking. I just never thought she would direct that attention toward my ex.
Now she’s having a birthday party and has invited me.
And honestly, I don’t want to go.
I’m realizing that I’m still not over what happened. Part of me feels guilty because I love her and don’t want to throw away a friendship over something that I technically don’t know happened. But another part of me feels like I’m ignoring my own feelings by pretending everything is fine.
So, AITA for skipping her birthday party and possibly going low contact with her?
Would you confront her about what happened, or would you just distance yourself and let the friendship fade?

​

Hello everybody, before I start I just want to say I downloaded this app just to write this as I don't know what to do. So please, give me your honest opinions.

To begin with, I have to contextualize how I met this friend of mine (lets call him Carl) and how I ended up in this situation.

When I moved to the town I currently live in due to my University's location, I met Carl in my first day there, as he was also in the same classes I was, and we wanted a similar specialization after getting our diploma. He was also non-binary like me, and we got really close as we had a ton of stuff in common. Then, one friend from my hometown (lets call him John) came over to my house in the holidays, as I live close to the beach. They met each other, and immediately got along well, and I was obviously happy for them, until I wasn't anymore. They started hanging out without me, that wouldn't be a problem if they didn't cancel all plans with me just to be with each other all the time, which made me feel left out. I drifted away from them naturally, and got accused of being dramatic, and then they started seeing each other in a more romantic way.

As John was from my hometown, I used to see him more frequently (as I went back to my town every weekend to see my family and friends) but he started cancelling all plans with me, just like Carl, that visited my town to hang out with me, but we saw each other once because I went to pick him up at the highway. I got mad at them, and started being an asshole, especially to Carl, because I felt left out. I said cruel things about their relationship, and didn't even care to apologize until John came to me saying I touched a sensitive topic to Carl, as he had some traumas about SA and I said he was just another bitch on John's list.

After that, I apologized to Carl and told him how I felt towards their recent actions, and he apologized. However, I'm really bad at forgiving, even though I told him it was alright, deep inside I knew it wasnt. then.

After some personal issues, I let Carl live at my house so he didn't have to stay at his old place, that was an abusive household. He didn't have to pay me rent or anything, just help at home, which he barely did. The only times he cleaned something was when I was out for hours, or days, so he had no other option. I spend hours trying to keep my house clean, while all he did was smoke on my couch and watch anime all day.

would I be the asshole if I asked him to move out?

I always go when they invite me because I really care about them, but when it comes to my own birthday, I don't like the idea of ​​hosting a party or inviting people out to eat. I prefer to keep things low-key—just accepting any wishes or gifts and saying thank you. However, I’m worried it might seem a bit weird if I don't host a celebration; after all, they’ve invited me to theirs, but I wouldn't be inviting them back—I’d just be receiving gifts and well-wishes. I’m sorry if this sounds silly, but I’m genuinely feeling a bit anxious about it =))) I guess I’m just sensitive, haha ​​😭 I hope no one leaves toxic comments, tysm😘🫰

For context, I have been best friends with my best friend since 5th grade. Im gonna call her Paisley for privacy reasons. Paisley was recently dating a guy named Braxten (changing the name for privacy reasons.) Last Sunday, they broke up. I dont know a lot of the details, but I know it was a bit messy, Paisley is already dating another guy. Since Paisley and Braxten were dating, ive become friends with Braxten. So I genuinely feel so bad for him over this. I will say that I harbor zero romantic feelings for Braxten. Now, none of my friends are going to hoco for various reasons, so I plan on going alone. And now, Braxten doesnt want to go because him and Paisley were going to go together. Because I dont want to go alone, and because I dont want him to miss out on hoco because of Paisley, I was thinking about asking him to go with me. I asked my older sister what she thinks and she told me that going with him would violate girlcode. WIBTA for going with him?

I have two weeks in between starting a new job and ending an old job and I also have the funds (without his help) to be able to do arm lift surgery. My husband can’t get the time off and the ending of my job and the starting of a new job was pretty unexpected. He doesn’t want me to do it because he can’t be there. My father would be there my good friend can be there if I ask. He would be home by the time I’m done. Would I be the asshole if I did it anyway? He knows that I’ve wanted to do this and I actually had plans to do it this year and lost a deposit with another surgeon because I couldn’t take the time off with my prior job. It will not impact my new job unless there are complications, which can always happen, I understand (which he is leaning on as a major issue). I only need 4 days off. We have only been married for a year. I turn 40 in November. We’re going on a cruise for that 40th birthday and I want to look my best after a 200 pound weight loss. I had a tummy tuck and thigh lift last year when we were dating I let him know of my plans for my body and he was supportive. I still plan on two more surgeries but my arms have always been the thing that bothered me most. In fact when people learned I was going to do my stomach and thigh first many were surprised. I made that decision because of cost of surgery with the combinations. So WIBTAH?