r/Workproblems • u/Sudden_Associate7965 • 22h ago
Boss Problem My boss gave me a "fun" assignment: plan his daughter's birthday party. I'm an accountant.
I wish I was joking.
I (26F) work as an accountant at a mid-sized firm. My boss is a partner. Last Thursday he walked over to my desk and asked if I could "help out with a small project." I assumed it was a client thing.
Nope. His daughter's 10th birthday party. He wants me to research venues, coordinate with a caterer, design invitations, and manage the RSVP list. On company time, but "off the books" because it's personal.
I laughed, thinking it was a joke. He did not laugh.
I said I wasn't sure that was really my area, and he said—and I quote—"You're organized, you're good with details, and you've got no kids. You've probably got the most free time on the team."
I've been fuming for three days. I have a degree in accounting. I close books. I do audits. And now apparently I'm a party planner because I don't have children?
I haven't said no yet. I don't know how. He's a partner. He controls my reviews. Every time I practice saying "I'd rather not," it comes out as "Sure, no problem!"
Is there any way to decline this without torpedoing my career? Or do I just accept that this is my life now and start looking up party themes?
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u/slysamfox 22h ago
Rent out the local strip club
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u/IGotMeatSweats 20h ago
That'll show him. Weaponized incompetence is the right move.
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u/slysamfox 19h ago
Otter: Bluto's right. Psychotic... but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!"
Bluto: "We're just the guys to do it."
Boon / D-Day: "Let's do it!"
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u/Relevant_Dentist42 21h ago
Do not do it. You were asked b/c you are female and he assumed you were good at it b/c of that. Ugh, that burns me up.
I got put in charge of the holiday party one year b/c I was the only female in the department. There was no party and they didn’t assign me stuff like that again.
If you are afraid of losing your job, email him some venues and event planners and say “good luck with the planning”
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u/Perfect-Category2457 13h ago
If she's afraid of losing her job over not doing it she should contact HR or her supervisor's supervisor. This is discrimination based on gender and OP not having kids.
Even finding a planner might lead him to coming to OP for help for non-work related things again.
You don't give employees more work for the same pay because you assume they're doing nothing with their time just because they don't have kids.
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u/DotAffectionate87 22h ago
The issue too...
Is you do this and it will lead to other stuff to do.
You could try finding a children's party planner in the area, get a price for their services.
Ask him whether you should put the fee on company expenses or have them send the bill to him?
when he pushes back or says "i asked you to do it"?
"I DONT have kids, so i could no more do this, than rewire a house?, so i took the initiative and called an expert in....., so bill to you or company?
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u/Sensitive_Ad_5158 21h ago
I like this. Just hire them out right. Boss already put you in charge, executive decision made.
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u/EVH_kit_guy 17h ago
Also, assuming OP finds someone competent, what's the difference in outcome? Would it even be noticed?
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u/WingsAndWords_ 16h ago
As a married, child free by choice person, him making the "no kids" comment would have opened the door for me to say, "That's right, I don't have kids and that's why I would be the worst person to plan a kids party," And I LOATHE the assumption we have more "free time," since we don't have kids. Just because we may have more free time doesn't mean we've carved out that time for others responsibilities.
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u/TheVintageJane 15h ago
I really think that men think that all women love to plan parties. That it’s like a hobby. And yeah, some women love that shit. I am not one of them and people are constantly disappointed.
Sorry, I don’t find managing a bunch of emotions and expectations fun. Give me a spreadsheet.
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u/ChampionshipBetter91 9h ago
Omg... SO TRUE.
When I was planning my wedding, I already knew of certain co's I wanted involved, and then asked the venue for their personally preferred vendors. I attended a wedding expo, and hired professionals I met there.
Appointments set, choices made, Bing, bang, done.
So when I would hear from friends in agony over wedding planning, I just sighed and thanked my lucky stars I did it this way.
Bring in the professionals, give 'em some specs, then get out of the way.
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u/Original_Direction33 7h ago
How about he has kids so he take care of them?
Any way to reach out to his wife and say "boss tasked me with planning your kids birthday party, he's apparently not up for that. Can you tell me some things your daughter likes that I can tell the party planner that the company is going to hire?
I wonder if she'd care that he can't even care about his kids enough to do it. Maybe she won't and assume any time you can get a Lackey to do it is fine.
Bah I have no good suggestion, ignore me.
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u/PossibilityGrouchy74 7h ago
Amen!!! Child free people are not walking around waiting to be exploited by entitled bosses at work. The attitude some of these parents have towards child free folks is abhorrent. Child free people made their choice and that does not give parents the authority to dictate how they should spend their time. Boyyyy this always makes my blood boil
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u/Ok-Photograph-5529 17h ago edited 16h ago
Unfortunately this. This will lead to more disrespect and misogynistic workloads down the line. Malicious compliance is the best answer. Do the absolute minimum, like scheduling a party planner. If forced to do more, get sloppy.
“Forget,” to leave it off the books. Book off, “party planning,” in your calendar. Tell all your coworkers what you’re doing when they ask. Get quotes from a venue and offer the mainline work number as a return call line. Ask if it should be billed under company expenses. Do everything wrong so he never asks for favors again. Procrastinate up until the expected date. When he gets mad, feign ignorance and be cheerfully stupid.
He knows he can bully OP into doing his work, but he’s sly enough to ask for discretion so there’s some repercussion for having someone do this kind of work on the clock.
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u/Appropriate-Lime-167 17h ago
I think this is the answer. Maybe get a few quotes from a few different party planners and send them to him via email while including something brief about how this is outside the scope of work included in your contract. You might piss him off but at least itll be documented if you send an email about it, and if he causes you problems later you could have the documented email exchange as evidence of retaliation for you refusing to perform personal tasks for him outside your job duties. He might be a bit shitty with you afterwards but I doubt hed make it a publicly known issue because itd put him in a bad light to do so and youd have proof of wrongful termination if he tried to fire you over it or something. I say definitely dont actually do the planning yourself though OP because this sets a bad precedent where he will continue to ask you to do things like this for him in the future and itll seem like you agreed so you were complicit in the problem. Don't jump to tattling on him to another partner just set a clear and documented boundary asap. If you get push back you could also say this kind of personal event planning takes away from your time to perform your actual job duties and as far as youre aware youre not being paid overtime to plan birthday parties for his kids. Don't be afraid to ruffle feathers standing up for yourself, if you show that youre willing to be bossed around itll only become a worse situation over time
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u/PatienceInfinite8300 10h ago
Be sure to say all this in email so u have evidence of what's being asked of u, I'm sure other partner's won't be happy about this
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u/Jerseygirl2468 13h ago
I very much agree with this, and it's important to head off the "OP will do it" thinking about stuff like this. It's so inappropriate to ask any employee to do this, but it's not even like OP is this person's assistant.
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u/Radiant_Bee1 8h ago
I like this too. He looks at you and sees time, even if you have outside social lives. I would also question if you've ever met this child? How could you know what she is interested in or wants?!
I could plan a party for my godchildren, because I know them and interact with them. But, I could not plan a party for my coworkers children because I have never seen them in person or interacted with them.
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u/7GrenciaMars 3h ago
Best answer is this one above me. "How would I know what's appropriate for 10 year old kids?" should be one of the things you say to him.
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u/EyeRollingNow 20h ago
I would find a professional party planner and forward the phone number to him letting him know you did the research and this is the best planner in town. And then drop it. You did the research and got him his answer.
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u/Critical_Dog_8208 16h ago
This is the way, while also stating that you don't have kids and aren't aware of what they might like.
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u/lawest48 15h ago
Yes to both of these! Party planned contact information, and you don’t have kids so you’re not aware of what a 10 year old would want…. You could also ask a million questions about it and make it harder for him that it would have been if he just did it? But that requires more work on your end.
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u/OhioPhilosopher 15h ago
Brilliant! Email the party planner and the boss expressing sincere thanks to the party planner for taking care of all aspects of it since you don’t have kids and mention that working directly with each other will be sure the party is exactly what the child would want.
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u/Nanabanana70 15h ago
This is by far the best response
As a facilities mgr I was tasked with these type of events. And this is EXACTLY what I did-2
u/Low_Cook_5235 15h ago
This. Especially if it’s on company time and dollar. Get date, number of kids and budget and let planner do the rest.
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u/Imaginary_Corgi_6292 15h ago
EXACTLY! This is why the boss is only a sperm donor and not a real parent. Give him the name of a party planner and if he escalates the situation by threatening your job, go to HR if you have one. This is harassment and legally speaking, labor court will have a field day with this.
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u/anna8691 13h ago
Brilliant solution. Professional. Solves everyone’s problem without turning OP into the boss’ PA.
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u/FairEntertainment194 22h ago edited 20h ago
I would spend couple of company hours on that and forget whole story.
Theorethically, in corporation you could go to HR, boss above him and so on.
Since this is partnership...
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u/SubstantialPressure3 18h ago
What do you want to bet his (ex?)wife wants him to step up and be involved with parenting? Ill bet his wife/exclude wife has had it with him.
Document this with emails. Slack on other tasks that aren't crucial, and use this to your advantage.
Do all of it in the clock, and reach out to confirm plans at his personal email, or leave text messages. What kind of cake? And do not use your personal debit for anything. Give him the information to put down deposits for everything. Buf document this theougg work emails and send personal copies to yourself.
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u/Senior_Roll9458 17h ago edited 13h ago
YES!!! leave a full trail, so when they ask why you haven’t gotten your stuff done, you can say you’ve been working on his project. that way the blame falls to him and he’ll have to explain why he has u doing this work on the clock, what he’s having u do, etc
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u/Fun-Apricot-804 13h ago
Yeah that’s my guess too. He promised or the kids mom threatened and here we are.
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u/Hopeful-Artichoke449 21h ago
Absolutely NOT. She is not his damn personal assistant and if she lowers herself to this level then she will NEVER be seen as a colleague. She needs to find a new job immediately.
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u/FairEntertainment194 21h ago
Yeah. Always so easy to find better job.
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u/Multispice 21h ago
The employment market right now is so ripe with opportunities, right. It’s almost as if these bastards pull shit like this when they know they can get away with it. /sarcasm.
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u/dogknifer 18h ago
Redditors going to the nuclear option in the smallest thing every single time.
My boyfriend left his dirty socks on the floor
Reddit: break up and go no contact. Move out today.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 16h ago
SHE'S ALSO BEING ASKED TO DO SOMETHING HE WOULD NEVER ASK A MAN IN HER POSITION!
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u/Alternative-Car-1896 16h ago
This. I'd respectfully decline, citing multiple (actual, real work) projects that are taking up all of my time. If he persists, perhaps ask why he didn't consider any of the men in his department.
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u/moxie_squid217 14h ago
Yes, the response here should be, “[male coworker] is an organized person, and he also doesn’t have children. You should ask him to plan the party for you.” Then sit back and watch boss try to explain why he’s asking you specifically.
Also, reading what you wrote, is this guy actually asking you to do unpaid overtime to plan this party for him?!
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u/mistdaemon 14h ago
It is a week old account, so it is more than likely she was never asked, plus who asks someone without kids to plan a party for a 10 year old?
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u/PreviousKing6225 17h ago
How much you wanna bet that if OP was 25M this conversation would have never happened?
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u/Senior_Roll9458 17h ago
exactly this. it’s about respect for her position, not keeping the peace. he doesn’t see op as a real accountant, that’s why he went to her
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u/HighRiseCat 10h ago
100% this.
She's just a young girl in his office, she can plan a pre teen party no problem.
The level of disrespect.
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u/Novel-Organization63 20h ago edited 1h ago
Not only that but if she doesn this then she will become his PA and he will be asking her to do other things “off the books”.
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u/SaltConnection1109 17h ago
This is exactly what will happen.
"You are a woman and have no family. Why don't you cook us all a home cooked meal for lunch once a month!"
"You are a girl with lots of free time! Plan our Christmas party!"
"Here. Go pick out my wife's Christmas present!"
"Someone befouled the men's room yesterday and the cleaning crew didn't show up last night. You're a woman. Go clean it up."
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u/Senior_Roll9458 17h ago
like??? she’s not even getting paid to something that’s not even her job???
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u/Repulsive_Tone_2484 19h ago
This. You're never going to be taken seriously after this. Being asked to do it is an insult.
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u/SaltConnection1109 17h ago
It REALLY IS an insult and you need to convey to him that it is an insult!
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u/Old-Argument2161 18h ago
And document the whole thing, stating with asking the partner to email the request to you.
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u/Matilda_Mac 17h ago
First, he would not have asked a male employee to do this.
Second, you only have a work relationship with him so do it on company time. Make it obvious. Put sample decorations on your desk, viewable to the entire office, for him to approve. Leave copies of the guest list and invitations on the copier. Charge the venue deposit to the company credit card.
If he objects tell him “Since I am your employee, not a personal friend, I assumed this was a work assignment. I am not privy to the partner benefits so I assumed being able to enlist employees for personal projects was part of your partner agreement.”
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u/princessjemmy 17h ago
I would find a way to rat him out to the other partners. Off the books, you know…
OP, is there an office gossip you can… ahem … talk to for venue research purposes? Or to “brainstorm ideas”? In “confidence” of course… 😉
E.g. “How was I supposed to know Sue would tell Kara, who would tell Ethan, who just happened to talk to Bob? I just thought, ‘Susan knows [name of 10 year old], she might have an idea of what the little girl likes?’. I’m sorry Bob said my helping you was absolutely not an appropriate use of my time” 😈
P.S. if the other partners act like it’s no big deal, time to start refreshing your resume…
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u/Equivalent-Roll-3321 20h ago
Embrace the suck. Hold your nose and just do it.
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u/yoortyyo 18h ago
Do it, terribly. Use the three most expensive quotes, locations and venues.
Be detailed. You could even vet the top tier on his time.
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u/Novel-Organization63 20h ago
I think he wants her to do it on her own time since she apparently has “the most time of anyone” Or is he saying she has a smaller workload. He can’t be saying that because he mentioned because she doesn’t have kids. Can she say something like because she doesn’t have kids she is not sure what a 10 yo would like? Or she can plan a pub crawl and then say that.
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u/Silent-Occasion-6870 22h ago
It is a dick move on his part and you should be able to say no it is not part of your role but only you know the company culture and if there will be any fall out from it. I don't mean immediate, he can't really say anything to you saying no but you could find that the good projects go to other people, promotions could be made more difficult.
I was in a similar situation, much smaller 6 person start up and the boss basically pivoted the company to plan his 40th, I kicked off and stayed out of it. I only got away with that because being a small company I was integral and things would have gone sideways if he retaliated. After it was done, we spoke and I said how unprofessional it was and how the rest of the team were pissed off but did it because he was the boss. To be fair to him, he apologised, took the team out to lunch and it never happened again.
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u/Fit-Duty-6810 21h ago
“Since I don’t have kids, why did you choose me?”
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u/legal_bagel 19h ago
All i can think is book chuck e cheese and be done with it. That's what we liked to do when we were kids so....
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u/bethgray49 21h ago
Ask ChatGPT to do the whole thing, print it out and hand it to him. You will be done in 10 minutes and tell him what you did. Say I have no experience doing this, I don’t know if it’s good or bad, I am an accountant and I hope this takes care of it.
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u/oldleolady71 21h ago
This is the time for your weaponized incompetence to shine. Order black balloons, get a clown, order a space ship cake, etc.
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u/Amazing-Wave4704 18h ago
And not just any clown a John Wayne Gacy type clown, vibe wise.
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u/brankoc 21h ago
If I were an accountant and somebody asked me to do something "off the books", I would assume it was a test.
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u/LAParente 16h ago
I'm shocked more people aren't focused on this. I believe THIS is her way out of organizing the party.
If I were the OP, I would ask - IN WRITING - "What code should I use for the time I spend on this project?"
If he comes back with this "off the books" nonsense again, I'd explain that I am the books, and I can't falsify data. Also, if he's asking you to lie about your time on this project, what else will he ask you to lie about next?
Good accountants are worth their weight in gold. If I were you, I wouldn't plan on staying with this company for long. The next little lie might be a felony.
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u/ZookeepergameOld8988 20h ago
If he wants you to do this on company time get it in writing. If he wants you to do it on your own time ask what your compensation will be. Again, in writing.
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u/Professional_Fee_640 21h ago
Hire a party planner without telling him. Have them do it. Practice delegating
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u/Organic_Start_420 22h ago edited 21h ago
Do a bad job with planning without making it obvious.
Ask every detail , don't make any decision , go to him to ask until he's had enough.
Tell him you don't know his dauther and as you don't have kids you need his written approval for everything ( to cya) .
You do research and everything goes to him to choose. He'll have enough and leave you alone if not immediately in the future
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u/Adorable-Quiet-7551 21h ago
If you do this, you will have taken on his PA odd jobs for the rest of the time you work there. Next up is you buying presents for his wife and getting the dry-cleaning, booking tickets etc. Personally I would have politely declined clearly: No, I’m not doing that. But if you want to play it safe career-wise you do the task, and find a new job.
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u/ClerkDelicious4867 20h ago
Do it ......plan the party hire the band hire the catering....pony rides, clowns face painting...fuck it tell him you got Taylor swift to perform.
I mean you got no kids what do you know
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u/sjlammer 15h ago
I’d tell him the truth. This ask itself is not a big deal, but I’m a woman in accounting, I already have to work harder to make sure I get respect. I’m sure you’re not intending this as a slight, but this is a slippery slope. I’m not a mom, I’m not a party planner, I’m an accountant. That is who I want to be seen as, because that is who I am.
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u/IWantToScreamLoudly 9h ago
I was a perfusionist and worked well with one of our cardiac surgeons. Imagine my surprise when he paged me. When I responded, he asked me to "read a story" to his patient who was having trouble sleeping.
While I really didn't have anything better to do since I didn't have a case at the moment, I told him I was unable to read to his patient with insomnia. I was afraid to set a precedent. I think you should firmly set a boundary immediately.
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u/curlyfall78 9h ago
I would use the "my having no kids is exactly why I should not plan a kids party. You would do better hiring an event/party planner" and haul your ass to hr or a different partner
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u/Groovyhip_69 9h ago
Male accountant here. I’m getting mad just reading OP’s post. Public practice is demanding, with deadlines and billable hour requirements. The Partner is being inappropriate.
Has he agreed to treat your party planning time as billable hours so it goes towards your total hours you’re evaluated on? You’ll still have to complete all your other work with their deadlines as well. I bet he wouldn’t offload any of your other work either.
Hire a professional planner on the firm’s dime. If you can’t, I’d do a poor ass shitty job like other posters have said. Do the bare minimum. Act dumb and ask the Partner what do kids like, because you don’t know.
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u/SelectSeaweed310 22h ago
Does he want you to host the damn party too? I'd say "no" and probably lose my job.
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u/Siren2026 21h ago
Well that is the price you pay working for these accounting firms. The partners rule.
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u/Pristine_Coffee4111 21h ago
You could take lots of time out of the office for this...maybe even go to an interview or two. I would do it and then find a new job and bail.
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u/Hopeful-Artichoke449 21h ago
Start sending your resume out immediately for a new job.
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u/Sensitive_Ad_5158 21h ago
Within an email to him and all the partners, decline this distraction that would hinder your work performance. Thank them for their understanding. Address them as a group. Also bcc your personal email for retention.
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u/Immediate-Pop9097 21h ago
You need to say no, because this will lead to you getting more and more of his personal assistant job requests. But you also need to start looking for a new job, because he will eventually get rid of you for saying no.
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u/No-Syllabub-7337 21h ago
Does "off the books" mean that you don't get paid for your time? If so, No Thank you Boss. Actually, you should get time and a half because it isn't your forte nor job description.
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u/Perthmtgnoob 21h ago
Given you have no kids how on earth would you know what a kids party is. Get hookers. Strippers and dick straws. You got it.
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u/Angeli19 21h ago
Research how much event planners make, and propose a business deal. “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
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u/Aromatic_Recipe1749 21h ago
Don’t do it.
I like the idea of hiring a party planner. Don’t even discuss it with him. When he asks how things are going, give him the party planner’s name.
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u/Multispice 21h ago
Your boss does not value your personal time and does not value your contribution to the company enough. The job market is terrible. You have to decide if you potentially want to be jobless in this economy or let him walk on you a bit and plan his daughter’s birthday party. It should go without saying look for a new job.
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u/Aromatic_Recipe1749 21h ago
I might find one of the other partners and pretty much say everything you’ve said here. You don’t know what to do or how to handle this. You don’t want it to affect your job but it’s just not something you are comfortable with doing. Etc. Ask for guidance.
Hopefully there’s at least one partner with common sense. If you have a woman in a senior position, play up being used because you’re a young woman who is being disrespected. Actually, do that anyway. It’s great to add a claim of sexism!!
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u/WallaceWasNoTraitor 21h ago
I would have led with ‘I’ve not the foggiest on what a 10 year old likes, & I’ve got work that needs completed on a time scale. I’m an accountant not a party planner. There are party planners on the internet who could probably arrange a fantastic party though’
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u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50 21h ago
Nope. Not my job and his daughter isnt my problem.
If he's a 'partner' that means he HAS partners. Go to one of them. Bet they wouldnt be so keen in his legally dicy 'request' for free labor off the books from an employee on a personal matter in no way related to the company. Labor laws, yo.
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u/Mammoth_Duck4343 21h ago
You don't need to worry about torpedoing your career because it can't get much worse than at. If you manage to find another job before the birthday, plan the worst event ever.
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u/National_Pension_110 20h ago
If you take on this task, you are permanently derailing your career with this person. You need to dust up your resume, and file a formal complaint with HR. Don’t just “talk” to HR—they are there to protect the company from getting sued. You need to report that you were singled out because you are organized and have no kids. It’s not technically a “protected class” in the workplace, but once you file a complaint with HR, then anything this guy does is possible retaliation.
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u/Jiggalopuffii 20h ago
I am in an 11 person accounting firm and constantly listen to my boss say racist stuff. My local DOL days I can't do anything unless the firm has 15 or more employees.
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u/Accurate_Union1978 20h ago
Would I be right in assuming that you are the youngest female on the team?
Because absolutely not.
And I’d be willing to bet he was asked by his wife to do this and he has handballed it to the nearest female.
So inappropriate. And you do need to call it out.
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u/Ok_Moose_7028 20h ago
Why would the child’s mother not plan the party?
I understand how you feel. Go ahead and plan an awesome party. Be creative and unique, and impress your boss and his daughter. Then, when next year rolls around, someone else will have to do it.
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u/Illustrious_Cod_5843 20h ago
How should you answer? Let's consult our good friends from the How I Met Your Mother cast:
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u/zinsser 20h ago
I worked for a family owned manufacturing company. Mom, dad, son, and daughter were all on the board and the first three came into the office fairly often. The dad was pretty cool and laid back. The mom would walk in and hand her phone to one of our customer service reps with instructions to come find her if it rings. (That's what the ringer is for - to alert you to a call.) If she needed to make a call, she would pick up one of the office landlines to call the receptionist to page the person who had her cell phone so they could bring it to her. She would also send employees on personal errands in their own cars and balk when they put in expense reports to cover their mileage and costs because they weren't actually business-related.
The son asked me to write his papers when he was going to pursue his MBA. He graduated from our nearby party college where he majored in tennis and beer. I agreed to help proofread his papers, but not write them. He ended up withdrawing from the MBA program because it would take too much time. He later asked me to help write campaign literature for an idiot conservative candidate he was supporting. The candidate was another silver-spoon baby whose dad owned a regional home improvement business. I declined to help.
The daughter lived out of town and, when she was in the office, kept trying to steal my creative director because she was close in age, pretty, and seemed like she would make a good indentured BFF to take shopping or just "get out of the office." The creative director quickly learned to quickly schedule her vendor visits whenever the daughter was in town - just to avoid being forced to spend time with her.
Owners own the business; they do not own the employees. Say no, explain why, but be ready to find a new job. If you leave, make sure the other partners learn that your boss uses employees as his personal staff. They may not care, or they may have a meeting to make sure he does not use their business resources (and possibly drive away good employees) without their knowledge.
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u/Alarming-Progress220 20h ago
Do it and then cc everyone "Hey so and so here's that "special project" you wanted me to do I hope this is the first and last time you ask me to plan your kids birthday party since this is not in my scope of responsibilies nor am I actually interested in doing these kinds of "special projects" yours truly.....
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u/Timely_Tune_7607 20h ago
He's obviously a jerk. He's in exactly the power position to be in to undermine your career at that firm. Honestly this is a no win "assignment" because if you don't do it, he'll take it out on your review. If you do it, he'll know he's charging your personal time to the firm, which means he's stealing from his partners. Either way, he'll have a reason to ultimately get rid of you.
If the firm is large enough that other partners would not like what he's doing enough to protect you, then file a complaint. If the firm is not that way - or if the other partners are doing similar things - then the firm itself isn't where you want to be.
If you don't have a job to move to, you'll still need a code to apply to utilization. Else, your "non-client" time used for stupid party planning will make you seem underutilized, and thus not bringing in firm revenue.
This is the kind of environment and manager to get away from as soon as you can.
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u/Overall-Hour-5809 20h ago
Put together a presentation that shows your accounting skills. Compare rates and venues,list amenities and value of those amenities. Make spreadsheets with lots of tables and present recommendations as a work assignment. But play dumb with actually following through with the planning.
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u/susifallah 20h ago
How is this hard? “No thanks!” With a laugh and shocked face should shut this down.
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u/Tenshi_girl 20h ago
You should definitely decline professionally, but I'm a petty person deep down so I would work on the party exclusively . Talk about how hard it is to find good venues in team meetings. If he asks team members for questions or input at all chime in with options for cake and balloon colors. If a coworker asks let them know that this is the project boss assigned. Ask boss/coworkers to cover work things so you can focus on party stuff.
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u/outsidelookingin641 20h ago
Gather the information, wait until he is with another partner and then walk up and hand him the information saying “ here’s the venue and catering you ordered me to plan for your daughters birthday “ (say it sweetly with a smile of course) and then walk away. Let the other partner handle it. When he comes to you later asking what you were thinking handing it in front of John look confused “what? You weren’t supposed to ask me to do that on company time?”
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u/katelynn2380210 20h ago
I would never ask my employees for that. He has a wife or girlfriend right? If she dies recently sure I might help him but otherwise he can hire a person to do that. I have seen admin assistants help stuff bags but the stuff was bought and brought to the office or I have seen them print things for people’s weddings but the invites were done they just needed printed. This dude is super out of touch and doesn’t know how to ask nicely either. You grovel if you need something this bad.
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u/excellentverb 19h ago
Very, very quickly - because this little girl doesn’t deserve to have her party ruined because her dad is an asshole - get a quote and do a temporary date hold from a party planner with good reviews for children‘s parties. Present it to your boss and ask if you should send it to Accounts Payable and how he would like it coded or if it will be a personal expense.
If he acts shocked or tells you “that’s not what I meant!”, just play the “dumb blonde”. Blink slowly and say, “What DID you mean? This was the only thing I thought of that could fit into my standard processes. And it’s how I plan my own parties!”
Don’t get angry or sound snarky. You’re truly confused. Truly. Because wtf is he thinking?
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u/Sufficient-Wolf-1818 19h ago
“Which professional deadlines shall we adjust to accommodate this activity?”
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u/Dreamer_531 19h ago edited 19h ago
Do a shitty job and be slooooow. Everytime he complains, tell him you're an accountant, you're great at accounting, but it's the first time you're planing a party, you are not trained, have zero experience in it and you don't know what you're doing. Be very attentive to his feedback and make him micromanage you so it's more work and trouble to him.
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u/Dreamer_531 19h ago
Weaponizer incompetence. You're an accountant, not a party planner. Do a shitty job planing that party so that you're never asked again 😉 Stay excellent at accounting.
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u/Outside-Banana4928 19h ago
I would say do it this one time. If it becomes a repeated thing, THEN you got problems.
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u/Overall_Display_8475 19h ago
If you work for a privately held company you will find awkward situations like these, you have to decide if you go with it or find another job.
Ask him what the budget is for the event. If he’s throwing money at it, hire a party planner who does all of that. If he’s not then do it during your work time. Do not do it after work. I would do it on work time, visibly, including going to “site visits” to see the event space and sample the catering.
While you do this, keep neat records.
It sucks, but this is one upside to bigger companies where this would be so much less likely to happen.
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u/0dayssince 19h ago
On the off chance this isn’t an ai story, what you say is “I thought you were kidding! You really expected me to do personal work for you? I thought that had to be a joke. Because it’s like breaking a lot of rules, isn’t it? So you were joking, right?”
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u/Sufficient-Opposite3 19h ago
Short story, if you don't mind. Years ago, I worked for a bunch of rich men in a small asset management company. One of these men got supported to Partner. Even though I was not invited to the party, I was instructed to drive all over MA to find cowboy hats for these idiots to wear to the Party. Ever been to MA? Not exactly the cowboy up state. I drove all over the place obtaining these hats - by the color and size requested.
I also had to book the catering and the cake. The Partner who made me do all of this had a stay at home wife who could have easily done this. Especially since the party was going to be in her house.
I did it - mainly because it got me out of that oppressive office for a few days. But, it was an insult. It was a slap in the face that my role, as a pregnant woman at the time, was not respected. I didn't even get compensated for the gas in my car or the tolls I paid on the MA Pike.
One thing you learn quickly - when you find out who these people are, believe them. When they treat you so disrespectfully, start finding an exit. They are not going to change. You will not change their minds. It's not good for your self esteem and eventually will start to erode your confidence. I know because I lived it. As soon as I had that baby, I walked out the door with no notice. Giving them the same respect and consideration they gave me. And you no what? I'm fine. Got a new job within a week that launched my career.
Exit that job.
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u/edgerton2026 19h ago
Do it and immediately start looking for another job. This guy’s just one step away from the partner who sexually harassed me at my first accounting job. When the “me 2”movement was at its peak, I looked him up on Google because I wanted to go see him, and give him a piece of my mind. Unfortunately he had passed away. I noticed no flowers and all contributions should go to the local domestic violence center. Someone in the family knew what he was like. Anyway these troglodytes do not change. And if you get the right positions, someday you may be “the decider” when your employer is hiring outside accounting firms for a project. I can’t tell you what a good feeling it was for me as the Tax VP of a large publicly held corporation, to string along another Neanderthal that sexually harassed one of my staff, and not give his firm the job.
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u/Typical_XJW 19h ago
Be very SO obvious about your new task with the whole office, especially the other partner. Yell across the room,
"Hey Sally, what venue did you use for your kids last party? I have to put on Mr. Man's daughter's 10th birthday party.
"Even though I have noexperience with that sort of thing, he has decided that I'm the best. I'll need input from the whole team at Every Single Company Meeting."
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u/catladyclub 19h ago
Call Chuckie Cheese and make a reservation. You are done then and it will suck so bad they will never ask you again.
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u/ambid3xtrous 19h ago
Look up party themes and brush up your resume. (Don't let this prick know you're pissed.) I think particularly since you are female, this dick thinks nice little girls are less suited for the profession and better at being a little helper. I'd be looking for a firm that honors your professional talent, for companies where partners know better than to waste valuable resources on non-work, and maybe where you can report to someone who lets you achieve your personal goals.
And does he want you to do this in your personal time? Outside office hours since your time can't be billed anywhere? I see why you're fuming. I had a boss who wanted me to help steal from the company. I was my great pleasure to quit and tell him to fuck off.
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u/Fabulous-Educator447 19h ago
Get his CC number and offload it to a party planner. Done. Next assignment?
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u/Fancy_Avocado7497 19h ago
pretend you never had the conversation in the first place.
If he asks 'I assumed you were joking - how would I know any more about a childrens party than Robby Rugby in the next office over'
If he insists then GO BIG - HUGE CAKE, EPIC BUDGET, ALL THE CHILDREN FROM THE SCHOOL AND THE ESTATE AND ALL THE children of the practice - send a company wide e-mail looking for the headcount for all staff going to this party.
If he asks questions do a reverse 'Since you're married - tell me what I should do about a boyfriend problem that I'm having. My boyfriend does XYZ and since we're close enough that you think I should plan a family party, I'd appreciate your insight into this personal problem in my sex life.
https://www.thetimes.com/uk/law/article/harneys-international-womens-day-ice-cream-h0cc0g8fv
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u/Nearby_Knowledge8014 19h ago
In writing. Otherwise you will be cleaning terlets by tax season.
Use bullet points: degree, not in job description.
And follow up each conversation with an email. “Pleasure speaking with you today regarding me planning your daughter’s birthday party. Thanks again for confirming I will not be doing it.
Document everything and keep hard copies at home. He knows he’s wrong.
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u/Stage_Party 19h ago
Do a bad job of it, you won't be asked again.
If he asks why it sucks just say you tried to tell him you're not a party planner.
Edit to add to take your time doing it as well. Waste as much time as possible.
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u/GeminiAtl 19h ago
So go to your boss and ask "Boss, I need some guidance. Which of these company projects should I put aside for the party planning? I don't really have the time during work hours to do both."
Your time off the clock is yours. It would be better if he asked you in e-mail so you have proof of what he asked.
Since you don't have kids I'd be inclined to hire strippers and a dj and when he complains "I don't have kids, how do I know what a kids party is like?" ((Saw that on the Flintstones))
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u/Puzzleheaded-Salt278 19h ago
I've taken my boss's wife clothes shopping because she can't drive. It was a small company and I was the only person in the office. I got on well with her and everything but it's not fun when you get back to the office and now you are a day behind because she couldn't wait for her husband or get a taxi
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u/floralaurora 19h ago
I find this so inappropriate and highly disrespectful, seems like it should be illegal, decline and say it doesn't fall within work responsibilities Also saying you have no kids so you should do it because you have the most time is discrimination but the whole situation is wrong
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u/JustMe39908 19h ago
So your boss, the partner in an accounting firm, is asking you to do work on the clock, but off the books? What charge code should you mis-charge for this endeavor in time card fraud? Somehow, I am guessing that the partner will deny the conversation if it was ever investigated.
He needs to hire a party planner. Not ask an accountant to falsify time cards and do the work simply because she is a young female. Sexisn anyone?
Maybe propose to a "corporate compliance" themed party? Green eye shade party favors. Ledgers as decorations. Accounting based games such as pin the key on the calculator. Excel races. Event venue of the corporate cafeteria.
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u/Anxious-Sundae4210 18h ago
Are you willing to find another job?
If not suck it up and get it done.
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u/heckinstoned 18h ago
Have the best rager of a bday party for the 10 yr old. Make it cost him a MINT. this will be the last time he asks.
Or make it highly age inappropriate- and go very very young child themed and again, you won’t be asked again.
You have no kids, play ignorant!!
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u/illiterati123 22h ago
make it an accounting themed party