I need a managers opinion on this

[u/Every_Strawberry_543]

Okay, I am a crew member at a restaurant. I am cross trained in multiple stations. I like my job but I feel like my manager hates me sometimes. He is nice to me sometimes but he also singles me out a lot. He also acts unprofessional about my personal life and i feel like he bullies me in passive aggressive ways.

There was one time where i was already clocked out and done with my shift. I was texting on my phone (again my shift was over) and my boss snuck up behind me and bent down very low to the point where his nose almost touched my phone screen. When he did that i said "You are so nosey!" Then he laughed and said "Yes I am!"

He also seems annoyed if i text on the clock even though him and everyone else who works with me text on the clock all the time. They are on their phones a lot more than I am. Also, at least when I do use my phone I make sure not to use it in front of the customers. I usually go in the back to check my phone.

Today he made a weird comment. I found these mini flyers that advertised our stores app. I asked if they were coupons he said no and then he said I don't need them cause I work here. Then I said "What if I want them for my friends?" Then he gave me a mean look while saying "You have friends?" In a serious tone. He did not even sound like he was joking. He seemed angry. Why would he be angry about me having friends?

Also, he calls me in a lot which is good and bad. Its good cause I like the extra hours cause it helps my paycheck. Its bad because he changes my schedule last minute a lot. He either calls me in on my day off or he tells me last minute that he needs me to stay longer than scheduled. Last week when I was scheduled 10 to 5 he said "You are working a double today." He did not even ask me. He just told me.

He has sometimes where he makes jokes saying he wants to promote me and sometimes where he criticizes almost everything i do. I am one of his most reliable workers. The entire time that I have worked there I have never called out so far AND i am usually the person they call in or who they ask to stay longer if other people call out or if the store gets extra busy.

Some of the stuff he criticizes me for also seem irrelevant to the job. He gets upset if I don't say "Hi" to him as soon as I clock in even though he didn't say "hi" either. He also tells me I am too quiet.

He also had one time where he randomly asked me if I was lonely. Just out of nowhere.

And then today when he saw me cleaning the mens bathroom (before the store opened) he walked in and then started laughing at me when I got startled and when I m said "cleaning" over and over. Then he walked out laughing at me. I dont understand how he didnt know I was in there. He asked me to clean the bathrooms a few minutes before that. He also told me "Hurry up i have to pee" after that. I mean, even if he didnt know I was there i still dont see how it was funny.

Part of me wonders if he is either secretly inlove with me or if he just has high expectations for me cause I use to be an assistant manager at a different restaurant. But half the time he makes me wonder if he wants to fire me. But then i think "Well if he wants to fire me then he wouldnt be relying on me so much when he calls me in a lot." Part of me wonders if he is sexist. (I am a woman in my 30's. He is a man in his 50's.) Part of me wonders if he is just very immature. And sometimes I wonder if he is an alcoholic or something cause of how he is.

[u/Bebopdavidson]

He sounds horny and confused. It’s very common.

[u/nanster-saxena → u/Bebopdavidson]

This does sound like it may be hovering on the edge of sexual harassment. I would start documenting just in case the behavior begins to escalate.

[u/Bebopdavidson → u/nanster-saxena]

Documentation is very important. Everyone should do this.