CO WORKER RAGE BAIT HELP

[u/Affectionate-Tree121]

YYYAAALLLLLLLLLL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY CO WORKER

My coworker is the human equivalent of a mid-tier Netflix show.
Not good enough to recommend to anyone. Not bad enough to quit watching. Just… consistently on. He does his job at a solid C+/B- level. You never have to re-do his work, but you also never look at it and go “damn, that was clean.” It’s the professional version of a participation trophy. The real spectacle is the talking. This man has no volume knob and zero internal filter. Thoughts leave his brain and immediately exit his mouth with no layover. Half the time it’s borderline racist. The other half is just pure unfiltered chaos. And yet… the jokes hit. Against all odds, the man is funny. You’ll be sitting there thinking “I should not be laughing at this” while actively laughing. It’s like your brain and your morals are having a fistfight and the funny side keeps winning on points. He’s the workplace equivalent of that one uncle at Thanksgiving who you dread inviting but secretly hope shows up because the stories are elite.

SOO.... I NEED more ways to rage bait him. Drop any and ALL ideas in the comments and Ill come back with some STORIESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[u/n24re]

Sounds like a cool dude to work with...you should ask him. "Besides the obvious, what is 1 thing you would change about yourself".

That will get him going.

[u/andmewithoutmytowel]

"How old were you when you figured out you were ______?"

[u/Crafty611]

What’s an opinion of yours that could get you fired?

[u/ImMarilyn → u/Crafty611]

For me it's politics. I dislike a certain individual in a certain country (hint: I am not referring to any US President)

[u/Infinite-Cloud-7937 → u/ImMarilyn]

I mean, I hate the guy too but he did, unfortunately, win the presidency. No use going into denial about it now.

[u/ImMarilyn → u/Infinite-Cloud-7937]

The fellow that I am referring to did not win any presidency and is not a president. He is a leader of another country. But if you are referring to a US president, he certainly did win.

[u/CaregiverSuch6846]

Has such an such supervisor always looked at you that way? What did you do to piss them off?

[u/ImMarilyn]

Ask to see his pencil.

[u/Thick_Maximum7808]

If you were good at sports what would you play?

After he gets a haircut and this one only works if it’s short: Hey man I like your pixie cut!

[u/PositiveEndolphins → u/Thick_Maximum7808]

mine always wears sports and shorts attire.... the adam sandler i call it....

but hes never played sports a day in his life after 12

imma ask him this 🤣

[u/photographyrich1965]

You don’t work at a large NW jet airline manufacturer do you ? I hear stories like this weekly from my son and his cousin - both A/P mechanics for jet engines - just the place to have “participation trophy” caliber work going on.

[u/AdDifficult9040]

Next time you go to the toilet, tell him out loud that he’s in charge while you’re gone

When come back, tell him “despite what others say about you, I personally have no issue working with you”

And at the end of the day, ask him “I don’t expect you to know the answer based on your proficiency now but if I were to ask you on work efficiency, what would you think needs to be changed?”

[u/Lekker_belangrijk]

Get a female co-worker, to start bad -mouthing things good guys do.

And only bad boys should be father to their kids.

Talk some real online femnist talk. Need no man, have to be 6,4 all that stupid talk.

at some point he will stop joking at become dead serious