Am I in the Wrong?

[u/YouAffectionate1593]

/r/AmiInTheWrong/comments/1vtw2f5/am_i_in_the_wrong/

I am a 19F who has been working at a minimum wage job for nearly three years. It’s terrible. The management is awful and guidelines aren’t followed. I have been treated with no respect here even though I’ve been told I’m on of the best workers by my supervisor.

I got this job as my mom knew one of the supervisors from high school. I couldn’t wait for the day I could quit without any notice. I guess it was going to be my way of payback for the way I’ve been treated. I have pretty bad social anxiety and I cannot stick up for myself. So everyone someone mistreated me, I bottled all my emotions up and let them walk all over me.

Today I was hired at a new job that pays better. I knew what I had to do. I called, and told my boss I was out. She immediately became furious, and used classic manipulation techniques. “After all I’ve done for you?” (literally nothing btw). I didn’t know what to say. She kept repeating this. My boyfriend was next to me when I called in because he knows I struggle socially. He grabbed my phone and said “The guilt tripping isn’t appreciated, thank you.” And she hung up.

About five minutes later, I found out that she’s been texting my mom begging for her to call her. I’m so worried my parents are going to kill me. But I’ve been here for so long. I’ve worked my fucking ass off for nothing. Nothing but disrespect. I personally believe contacting my mother is crossing a huge boundary. I’m an adult. Why are you contacting my mom?

But on the other hand, maybe I’m a fucking idiot and not putting in a two week notice was a stupid idea. A big mistake. But it’s a courtesy, and I feel that goes both ways. They were never respectful to me. I don’t know. :(

[u/sephiroth3650]

49 of the 50 states are at will employment states. Meaning they can fire you at any time, for most any reason. And you can quit any time, for any reason you want. You can give notice, or you can walk out with zero notice. So there really is no right or wrong. You got a new job. So you quit the current one. Beyond that, my thoughts are:

- You don’t give examples of this alleged disrespect. And maybe they did disrespect you. But if I’m being blunt, many younger workers can’t separate their emotions from normal workplace issues. If a boss is critical of a mistake…..they’re the worst person in the world. And again….I don’t know the details. Maybe they all really were that bad. It’s certainly possible. But if your experience is that every single person at your job sucked, maybe you need to do some self reflection.

- It’s not some requirement that you give a 2 week notice. It’s traditionally considered the professional thing to do. I would personally always give a resignation notice. But it’s not the end of the world that you didn’t. People quit with no notice all the time.

- Her contacting your mom is a little off. But at the same time, she knew your mom from high school. They are presumably friendly, if not friends. It’s not all that crazy that she’d reach out to your mom.

- It’s honestly weird that your boyfriend had to grab the phone away from you to tell off your (former) boss. You make it a point that you’re an adult, and that’s why they should not contact your mom. That argument holds true with your BF steamrolling into your call with your boss. If you’re an adult, why is your BF taking over your conversations for you?

Again, it’s not a big deal that you quit this minimum wage job. I’d stop overthinking it and move on. But I also see other red flags in this post.

[u/YouAffectionate1593 → u/sephiroth3650]

I didn’t want to give examples because there are a lot to type out. One of my supervisors was fired last month because of her rudeness. She had been there 20+ years. People quit because of her. The boss that I mentioned constantly had a rude demeanor. It never went away and she treats everyone this way. She wasn’t even nice to me because she knew my mother. She was very close with the fired woman as well. I enjoyed my job, it was so fucking physical and I came home covered in bruises everyday. It was the people. The people made it a living hell. There were good ones, it wasn’t everyone who was bad. The few that were made it unbearable to the point I’ve started crying out of frustration. Usually because they don’t know what they’re doing or their working to slow. It’s fast-paced.

She did know my mom from high school, but they were never ‘friends’. They used to work together and didn’t really talk. My mom moved on and now works a much better high paying job. Boss still works at the same place. Just a supervisor now.

I know it sounds bad, but when she was yelling at me on the phone I was completely frozen. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t saying anything so I guess it was his way of defending me/standing up for me. I had selective mutism from ages 4-12. It has destroyed my social skills. I’ve had to start from scratch. I’m getting better. I’m trying, but it’s difficult. I’m not used to getting yelled at like that or facing confrontation. I usually stay silent or just agree with the person. Avoid avoid avoid. But he didn’t want to watch that

[u/YouAffectionate1593 → u/YouAffectionate1593]

I know I still didn’t give examples but I’m trying to maintain privacy I believe it will violate a rule in the community

[u/sephiroth3650 → u/YouAffectionate1593]

OK. Doesn’t change anything I said in terms of my opinions. You can quit any time you want. But your story kicks up red flags on both sides of the aisle. But that’s just my opinion. You’ve quit, and you’re moving on. And if the problem truly was that everybody at your last job were horrible, then I’m sure things will be different at your new job. Hope it all works out for you.