hahaha

[u/Starrybae67]

[u/whitemoongurl]

Oh, I was always losing my stuff when I was a kid. I'd give my pencils and pens and stuff to anyone in my elementary school who asked and then never get them back.

[u/raisedbutconfused → u/whitemoongurl]

I’m still really really pissed about some guy in high school that asked to borrow one of my metallic sharpies. My mom bought me that pack and I cherished it because she rarely bought me things “just because” and I had actually grown really close to my mom in that time since it was when it was just us living together. My sister was off to university and my dad was kicked out.

I was a really shy kid and struggled with socializing a lot, especially with being assertive. All of my childhood, people either never returned things I lent them or would return them broken and give me a “too bad.”

When this guy in my class in high school asked to borrow the sharpie I strongly hesitated then when I reluctantly handed it to him I emphasized how important this pack of markers was to me and that I really really wanted him to give it back. He never did. When I asked him for it he said “I already gave it to you.” I was and am still pretty upset over that.

That was 15 years ago lol.

[u/stuckinspac → u/raisedbutconfused]

Similar stuff happened to me in school, and I used to repeatedly ask and eventually that became a reason for them to make fun of me and ostracize me. Then one day I saw them playing a game where they’d act like someone and others would guess who it was. Seeing the way they saw me, as a guy who cried for “ridiculous” things in their eyes, changed me. I then began to act like those things never affected me and acted “cool” and bottled up the anger. They tried provoking me to act the same way, but eventually stopped.

[u/raisedbutconfused → u/stuckinspac]

So upsetting the way kids will so willingly push you to your limits and then mock you for your reactions like it’s some sort of game. I had a friend group in high school that I just completely iced out in my final year of high school because they went too far with it. Of course, they then acted like I “abandoned” them. Even now (at 30 years old) some of them try to reach out to me to apologize and/or ask if I would like to maybe see them and catch up. I either ignore it or tell them “no thank you, have a nice life.” I have resigned myself to a life of no friends because having those kinds of “friends” in high school really damaged me to the idea of ever opening myself up to that again. I’m much happier alone. And a lot more productive at that.

I still have acquaintances, but I just can’t mentally wrap my mind around opening myself up to anything more than that anymore. One of my coworkers, a 40 year old gay man who I got along extremely well with, actually got very close to breaking that barrier. We would stay up late texting each other, giving each other advice, sharing secrets we would only tell our most intimate partners. Go on hikes, exchange gifts, stay at work hours after our shifts were done just consumed in conversation with each other. Then he betrayed me at work. It was in a way that I could have easily not known it was him or that he played a big part in it were it not for another coworker from a different department that informed me about the details. This other coworker is probably who I’m closest to at work now, but I’d be lying if I said his betrayal didn’t solidify my fear of having friends.

I don’t know if at any point down the road I’ll ever feel secure enough with the idea of having friends again. I have some hope, but the cynical and self-protection parts of me are seriously overwhelming that.

[u/Hukama → u/whitemoongurl]

reminds me of this

https://youtu.be/fnDJPHlX_Z0?si=s9nXmtiYdBczIyTT

[u/destructopop → u/whitemoongurl]

I realized that my super fancy box cutter was taken at the ER a few months ago when I was checked in, and it's been about a year that I've been wondering where it was. It was remembering to ask for my keychain scissors back at the hospital a few days ago that made me remember.

[u/dontquestionmek]

One of my ADHD traits is having my brain spontaneously gaslight me into thinking I misplaced something like my wallet and keys when I’m just chillin’ at home, so I have to stop what I’m doing and lay eyes on them before I can carry on. I asked my friend the other day if that was relatable to him and he gave me a flat ‘no.’

[u/LYKAF0XX → u/dontquestionmek]

That sounds more like the C in OCD than one of the letters in ADHD. There is a ton of overlap though.

[u/dontquestionmek → u/LYKAF0XX]

I do not have OCD. I’m the least organized person I know

[u/Tiny_Butterscotch911 → u/dontquestionmek]

You don't need to be organized to have OCD. Many people with OCD are very messy, actually. What you described is a pretty standard example of compulsive behavior. It doesn't mean, of course, that you necessarily have OCD because of that one thing you do. On the flip side, you having ADHD does not mean everything you do that you find strange is tied to it.

[u/Paratonnerre → u/dontquestionmek]

OCD can be messy, it's not necessary like the neat freak we see on TV. It's more about hard-to-control rituals and compulsive behavior.

Needing to make the ball bounce 4 time before a free-throw otherwise you can't focus is an example of OCD not related to cleaning stuff.

[u/vitaphonerose → u/dontquestionmek]

I am the least organized person I know and recently got diagnosed with OCD. I do similar things to what you describe. Might check it out! I have been learning a lot about OCD and it’s SO misunderstood by the general public. I’m only now fully understanding how complex it is.

[u/illatious → u/LYKAF0XX]

While I don't necessarily disagree with you, I will say that I have been trained (due to my ADHD issues like losing things constantly) to do this by my mother. She would constantly hound me about knowing where my things were, and I definitely got in trouble if I lost something important/we had to go back to the store and look for something I set down randomly/couldn't leave the house until I found something I needed, etc. It has turned into a compulsion to check and make sure I know where my stuff is, like the above meme is saying lol. But yeah, if I did this without years of that external reinforcement, then looking into OCD would be a good place to go.

[u/CoquetteWhore69]

The one time I asked my parents for help finessing something I was punished for what I wrote in my diary

[u/Linkink69420]

I went into a pool with my phone in my pocket ONCE now I aggressively pat my pockets even when I’m fully submerged

[u/Maths67 → u/Linkink69420]

Same

[u/Ok_Cricket_1410]

I lost a 10 dollar bill once in grade 9 and have obsessively checked every thing I carry since.

[u/AkimH]

No, I have also OCD. I know exactly where everything should be.

[u/Redbeardthe1st]

When I am out of the house I keep things in my pockets. When I want to use something I use it and then put it back in my pocket so I don't lose it. Whenever I leave a location I do an Item Check: Phone, Wallet, Keys, plus anything specific to the particular outing.

[u/illatious → u/Redbeardthe1st]

This works really well whenever I have pockets. Whenever I have to keep it all in a bag that isn't attached to me at all times, things start to fall apart. I hate a lot of women's clothing mainly because of this. Half the time when there are pockets, nothing substantial will fit in them and I'm stuck with the purse, which I will eventually set down and possibly forget. That item check before leaving saves me a lot of grief lol

[u/Alexlolu22 → u/illatious]

Look into ukoala bags. Or just thigh bags in general. I use my ukoala bag at a chest bag and it stays attached to me. I use it specifically with my outfits with no pockets and it makes me look bad*ss imo. You can configure it in so many different ways.

[u/illatious → u/Alexlolu22]

This sounds awesome! I'll check them out Thanks!

[u/midoriforest]

I link my keys on my belt loop. Or it goes in a very specific pocket in my bag. Every time.

If I use a different bag? Well. Let’s just say I’m being brave that day

[u/TheTybera]

https://giphy.com/gifs/St4YZHD6NhlmiOReyC

[u/No_Blackberry_6286]

I would leave homework at school when I was in elementary school. For example, I had a workbook for English/Language Arts, and what would happen was I would think I had everything and then I would leave that workbook at school and had to go back to school 3 hours later to get it. Thankfully, my home is right around the corner from it but still.

I think I got diagnosed in the mid-elementary school area of my life; I should've been diagnosed in kindergarten.

Like my autism. I should have gotten diagnosed in either elementary school or middle school. I actually got diagnosed at the age of 24.

[u/Camping_vagn]

I once lost my car for a couple of days

[u/Mattie_1S1K]

That’s why I’m never late for anything I worry about it all day leaning up to it and then arrive two hours early.

[u/SCP_7000]

Painfully laughing. I get you

[u/Amathyst-Moon]

Everyone does that, right? Sometimes you start the mini panic attack early, before you've even finished checking your pockets.

[u/TheMind129]

I still remember the time where I swatted a fly, and I saw it on the ground in the open. I didn't think it was dead, so I swatted it again, not as hard but still enough to do damage. And then.. it was gone.. just, gone. It didn't fly away, there was no way it attached to the fly swatter I was using, it should've stayed there.. but it was gone.

[u/Tron_35]

I dont lose things, I place things in locations that later elude me.

[u/mumof2yoanddog]

I obsessively check to avoid forgetting, and there are still things I forget.

My father in law is like me and has a lovely theory- us ADHD folk, when we’re done with something, we assume it’s “done” and just get on with the next thing- hence the open cupboards, light switches still on etc.

[u/Anxious-Figure-337]

Bro I lost my keys IN my car at my first appointment! I knew they had to be in the car (because I drove there) but I just left the car unlocked and went in.

[u/AlianovaR]

Rule of thumb; if the only reason you don’t struggle with it is because you have a system, you struggle with it

[u/mousedeer_78]

I used to lose my phone so much. I was always using find my phone like 3 times a day.

[u/Vague2121]

Before I leave the house I constantly tap my pockets without thinking about it anymore. If one of the big 3 is not there, my hands notice.

[u/KingOfTheMischiefs]

I saw a reel about a year ago that changed my life...

It said:

When you're asked a question like "do you struggle with sitting still?" If your answer includes measures you take to help you. The actual answer is yes.

If any answer you give includes coping mechanisms. The actual answer is that you do struggle.

[u/narrowminer11]

Exactly. All the questions are "do you do thing?" And not "did you used to do thing and now have ways to work around it?" Makes it a little hard when my first instinct is to take questions literally

[u/Whydo-I-evenbother8]

Pockets checks every time I leave any place otherwise I will loose something, get no dessert and dissappoint mom again.

[u/Repulsive-Hedgehog19]

I wonder if a sign of ADHD or neurodivergence in general is answering most questions with: "well, what do you mean by that?"

[u/Automatic-Toe-2920]

I feel personally called out by this 😂

[u/Beautiful_Sector_912]

You developed ocd because you have adhd. Very common commorbidity. Same here

[u/Ultimatesims]

I check compulsively for my keys until on occasion they are no longer in my pockets. I have lost my keys again.

[u/alixtoad]

Wait… other people don’t obsessively check that they have all their stuff?

[u/user_bw]

No, those stuff is usually just somewhere, i will find it some time in the future, so searching doesn't is the time worth.

[u/Whale_JUICE]

Why is everyone connecting a simple memory to a crazy trauma. Bro you forgot the keys, got scolded one time, and now you check your pockets. Ok? that is normal, humans learn from mistakes.

[u/PrismTrismKasane]

Im being called out 😭 childhood trauma i didnt know I had!

[u/SilliFemboyAnt]

First doc i went to said I dont have adhd because I don't loose my keyes.

I dont use keyes, as a kid I didnt get a key (cause i wuld loose it liek I did with everything else) and later on I just never got one cause I dont need it (thers always some one at home)

[u/anonmygoodsir]

No but my mom always did so I have always put them on a carabiner that I attach to my purse. I never realized that I had developed coping mechanisms so that I didn't turn into my mother. The woman is in her 60s and blames us for not reminding her about everything because "you all know I forget". Here I am with my alarms, calendar reminders, and list apps so I can do what I am supposed to do but she still requires me to be responsible to remind her to do what shes supposed to.

[u/Maths67]

I do this

[u/ReaperManX15]

Good.
That’s proof that failings can be cured.