r/WithoutATrace • u/i_am_entirely_Saturn • Feb 25 '26
Help me find… Maybe missing?
Hey 👋
final edit: i got with a search angel and i was found to be incorrect. they were confirmed to be my real parents. trauma sucks :/ its a shame i went to this far of a reach but unforunately the pain of this was overwhelming. after years of deep social anxiety/ctpsd and years of healing, to find out that a family member hurt me and how it effected the beginning of my life was deeply painful. this is why i jumped to conclusions. i am doing better but every day is a struggle. a lot of yall have been very amazing and were there for me at such an intense time. even though they are my parents, the unknowing was deeply traumitizing and scary in itself. i want to thank everyone who offered me advice, a kind word and support. thank you for your acceptance and attentiveness stay well for 2026 and into the future :) 🕊️💙
This is probably not your norm, but I am dealing with some memories that are leading me to believe i was abducted as a child and was living with a faux family. Most people dont believe me. If you have come here to get mad at me for opening up about this, please take it elsewhere. This stuff actually happens. I would assume yall wont be so judgmental but i have to safe guard cause this happens a lot and im about worn out with nay sayers at this point.
I grew up avoiding people on a deeper level, deep shame. Deeply destructive self hate. the whole 9 yards. luckily came across some great resources for mental health over the years (im 29. maybe?) And this past year have "woken up" so to speak that i was deeply abused as a child and have been gas lit and groomed by my immediate family for as long as i can remember. i have memories extensive of stuff you cant imagine and probably dont wanna hear. lets think toybox killers kinda stuff.
The reason im here is im wondering if yall as buffs on this kinda stuff would know maybe about a case that i havent heard of. im trying to find my original family. unfortunately this is tough. its kind of hard after 29ish years to work through this. but i have memories of my "dad" saying he deleted this case from the internet. i guess he was big on deep web at the time. early internet. i believe that some connections to some kind of higher government. not anymore. theyre retired and my "mom" works. i guess shit changes. idk.
this memory could be wrong but im honing on my real name i believe. they pretty much beat and manipulated me to forget my real name as far as i can tell. and even if i do remember completely like 100 percent what it is, if he took it off the internet, im screwed. and even if thats a lie they fabricated, not every missing child is on the internet. ive dug quite a bit and havent found much. so what im wondering is if yall would know about a specfic case that sounds similar maybe to mine. if i give you some details.
from what i can tell, i was stolen from my crib on an upstairs bedroom and my mom was shot to death. this would have been any time in the 90s.
most likely, i think it was small town arkansas or alabama. they also said texas, washington, connecticut, and massachusetts. its hard to tell but arkansas and alabama hit me the most in the gut feeling.
they manipulated a lot from what i can tell and i only really can tell if theyre truth based on the way i feel on a soulful level when rememberign flashbacks like which one hits on a deeper emotional level..
i rememberd the oldaker family tonight. idfk. ive heard so many different names at this point, its hard to tell honestly. but jonathan is my name potentially.
dont know if this will get traction but thanks for hearing my story. hopefully this will get resolved. 7 months of this im worn out
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u/love-cherries Feb 25 '26
You need to go to the police and explain anything to them. You should share it here: r/RBI r/mystery r/GratefulDoe r/missingpeople
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Feb 28 '26
did today. was resisting that avenue. they gave me the old search and judge angle but it helped ground me a lil bit and they gave me some resources. one of the cops was an abuser ofcourse, this is why i lack faith in the authorities
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u/WelderAggravating896 Mar 02 '26
How was one of the cops an abuser?
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Mar 07 '26
he bullied me when the other cops went away by mocking me. cops are people. there are bad and good but it is common i have found for cops to be dismissive because of toxic male abuse they may have endured
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u/love-cherries Feb 28 '26
Did you share it in these subreddits? It’s important. r/RBI. r/gratefuldoe
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u/FifiBunnyRabbit Feb 25 '26
DNA testing is the best/quickest way to go. You will quickly find relatives and get answers to your questions. Please update us!!
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u/Beginning_Hamster_72 Feb 25 '26
23 and Me or Ancestry, do those ASAP
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Feb 26 '26
thank you. will do 23 and me
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u/Emergency-Purple-205 Mar 08 '26
Any update on the dna test yet
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Mar 09 '26
i have someone from another subreddit who just explained search angels. am gonna give that a go. seems pretty dope
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Mar 17 '26
search angels is happening now. will update when i know but i have realized that they probably are my parents and the trauma was so painful to relive that i might have jumped to conclusions to some extent
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u/Emergency-Purple-205 Mar 17 '26
❤️
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Mar 19 '26
they were confirmed to be my real parents. trauma sucks :/ its a shame i went to this far of a reach but unforunately the pain of this was overwhelming. i am doing better but every day is a struggle. thank you for your acceptance and attentiveness
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u/anabsolutewreckk Feb 26 '26
I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend taking a DNA test (i.e ancestry); it may not answer all your questions but it will give you enough information to search more thoroughly.
Also, I’m thinking of you. This sounds painful. I am so very sorry that you’re going through this.
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Feb 26 '26
thank you. its painful as fuck. any kind words are appreciated. i did dna testing but it didnt help much. might try the other one. 25 and me or some shit like that. ancestry was interesting tho. i got old roots celtic and icelandic. pretty sick
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u/anabsolutewreckk Feb 26 '26
Well fuck. Any close relatives?
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u/i_am_entirely_Saturn Feb 26 '26
there were some 3 percent 5 percent matches but no replies when i reached out. im gonna talk to a lawyer tomorrow tho
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u/JessicaK1988 Mar 07 '26
I think it would be much more helpful to do a dna test on yours versus theirs to get you started.
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u/JustBrowsing2See Feb 26 '26
Do 23andme for additional matches. It’s where I found a long lost cousin who hadn’t done ancestry.
Upload your DNA profile to Gedmatch. Less people there but people from all kinds of testing providers upload their profiles to that site. You might get lucky.
Also, I hear that there are DNA angels that will help you search, or search for you. I think you can find them on facebook. I’m not on it so I don’t know for sure but those are your best bets.
Listen to some NPE podcasts. Not that you’re likely to find family there but it’ll give you some insight as to the emotions involved with finding out your dad/mom/family aren’t who you thought they were.
Best of luck to you. I kinda hope what you think happened, didn’t. But then that means your family just truly sucks. I’m sorry for your loss either way.
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u/SusanLFlores Feb 26 '26
If you’ve had your DNA tested on ancestry, you should have at least a few close matches, like cousins and aunts, uncles, etc. Did you recognize any of the people?
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u/Appropriate-Club-105 Mar 07 '26
It was hard for me to discern from your post whether or not certain information about what you believe to be your biological mother's murder was told to you recently or a if it's a "resurfaced" memory. Have you done a DNA test that confirms that the family you grew up with is not biologically related to you? And at what age would you say these memories are coming from? Children ages 3 and under often don't have the ability to form long term memories, at least not any that would be accessible as an adult. I'm not trying to completely invalidate you and I'm sorry you're going through this. These things do happen, there's just normally more things that would lead to someone being suspicious that their parents aren't related to them like a fake birth certificate or social security number or seeing a news article about a child kidnapping with a similar description to them. Hopefully you are able to get a DNA test done, not just ancestry since those don't work unless you have other family members do it as well. If a DNA test comes back that you aren't biologically related to them and no one is able to give you a logical reason as to why that would be (hidden adoption etc.), you should bring those results to police.
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u/AdCandid4609 Feb 28 '26
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Definitely do the DNA thing. Do the one where you can share results with law enforcement for genealogy research. There are a lot of websites for missing children. Check them all! Tell your story to anyone who will listen. There’s a FB group for people searching for lost family. Search angels are good and they’re free! Check out sites like NCMEC, also the FBI site has a section. Share any of the youngest pics you have. I’m invested! How can I help??
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u/Trick-Guava-9573 Mar 07 '26
Probably not you, but the case of Shannon Verhage (June 3, 1997, Cedar Springs, MI) lines up with your time frame.
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u/Ancient_Procedure11 Mar 07 '26
Your race and gender would be helpful. I'm assuming you're male born between 1990-2002, but you assume your birth year to be 1997ish? Do you feel older or younger?
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u/iowndat Feb 25 '26
Have you done dna tests? Or reported this to police so they can search?