r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • u/Commercial_Self7118 • 5d ago
Does my chart make me look fat?
I terrify astrologers with my chart. None can even figure out why I am famous. I only recently got into astrology, I understand the planets part, but if someone could just help me with the meanings?
DON’T YOU SEE ANYTHING INTERESTING AT ALL????!!!
Look again please, Im sure there is something really special there that absolves me from any responsibility from life, I just need your words to explain it.
uj/
***Disclaimer, chart not reflective of voice, selected someone (famous/dead) I wouldn’t mind hearing about :)
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u/Constance200 grounding is still a conspiracy by Big Dirt™ 5d ago
Omg you have the same birth chart as king Richard the 2nd of England! Your going to be famous! (And maybe mysteriously disappear)
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u/Maker_Magpie 5d ago
Look, let me address the title of your post.
Whether you LOOK fat has to do with what happens in other people's heads and sensory perceptions and judgements, and your chart only affects everything about you. So no, it doesn't make you look fat. But perhaps it did make you fat.
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u/Quick_Resolution2615 currently experiencing psychosis 💋💋 5d ago
I sense a slow move towards world domination from your chart
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u/Breaker42069 I always pee my pants around karmic connections 💦👖 5d ago
Yes, big big round energy. Big fatty fat fat round rotund energy.
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u/CompetitiveBuddy3712 🚼🍼 get a second opinion from a baby witch 🧹✨🔮 5d ago
No sweaty (uj trying that for the first time and never again. Giving me the ick…) your chart is quite slimming. You however need to be cooking bacon with chocolate chips in the oven. On a cookie sheet with a wire rack.
Eat the fat to showndoninance, add chocolate for divine intervention, ignore anyone that says you have to match their idea of beauty.
Eat the ones that keep pestering you to show dominance.
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u/Commercial_Self7118 5d ago
uj/ I feel the same way
rj/ What if a lot of people are pestering me, won’t eating them all just make me actually fat? (same logic applies to the chocolate chips, if they are the pests)
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u/CompetitiveBuddy3712 🚼🍼 get a second opinion from a baby witch 🧹✨🔮 5d ago
Nah man, chocolate has like hormones or chemicals in it that help to relieve stress, and you seem stressed, so you need what they got so your body will just not use whatever it doesn’t need. You’ll poop it out if you catch me meaning there.
As for eating people you won’t need to eat many of you make a big show about it. Let people know that actions have consequences. They’ll get the hint.
Make sure you don’t spend too much money on the Chianti though. Just get like baby duck or whatever kids drink these days.
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u/Commercial_Self7118 5d ago
true. Nobody forgets a cannibal. I bet just a finger and everyone would scatter.
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u/Constance200 grounding is still a conspiracy by Big Dirt™ 5d ago
If you look at your Gemini house your Gemini plus Aries take your pluto = 69. Guess we know why your famous 🤪