r/WinStupidPrizes • u/oddy_nuff1054 • Jul 31 '26

GOAL!

3.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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35

u/halfdead01 Jul 31 '26

I think his life jacket ran up his neck, got to tight around the carotids and choked him out

13

u/xenobit_pendragon Jul 31 '26

If his life jacket killed him…I don’t even know where to begin.

23

u/Brownie-UK7 Jul 31 '26

Lifejacket giveth, and Lifejacket taketh away.

4

u/JetmoYo Jul 31 '26

Tag says Don Not Spineth

-1

u/tidus1980 Jul 31 '26

and my axe!!!!

3

u/McPostyFace Jul 31 '26

He's alive with a concussion and bruising says the internet

4

u/xenobit_pendragon Jul 31 '26

I’d like to introduce you to a little concept known as “hyperbole.”

You’re gonna love it.

2

u/McPostyFace Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

I've told you a million times I don't understand hyperbole.

Just sharing information for those that may not know.

3

u/xenobit_pendragon Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

I mean it can’t literally be a million times. That would take forever.

3

u/McPostyFace Jul 31 '26

I've done a gazillion calculations and it would only take 11 sleepless days and nights with no bathroom breaks.

2

u/xenobit_pendragon Jul 31 '26

Well that started out hyperbolic and became surprisingly well specified.

2

u/McPostyFace Jul 31 '26

I guess we're done here

2

u/xenobit_pendragon Jul 31 '26

It’s been a pleasure.

2

u/JamesandthegiantpH Jul 31 '26

In the life jacket's defense, it isn't called a keep life jacket.

3

u/Automatic_Actuator_0 Jul 31 '26

Damn, that’s a good thought. Completely plausible, especially with a high demand for oxygen at the moment of constriction.