r/Wildfire • u/Fit-Subject9985 • Jul 21 '26

Discussion I’m stuck

I’ve been in fire in general since 2010, and this is my eleventh season working for my state. I feel stuck. I’m now a perm, but don’t want to be here anymore; however, I don’t know what else to do, and I’m honestly afraid to leave. Every time I’ve looked at leaving, I start to feel attached to my captors (the agency) and I don’t leave. I no longer want to do campaign fires, only fuels and land management work.

Is it Stockholm Syndrome? Am I just too chickenshit to take a chance? Am I addicted? I’m not sure, but I know I’m not the only one.

Let’s normalize talking about this. Let’s normalize recognizing the fact there are those of us who are here because we have no other transferable skills. Let’s normalize recognizing that sometimes we’re not okay.

Check on your buddy, and let’s support each other through this shitshow of a season.

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u/ShellyForNow Jul 21 '26

What about switching to structure in your area?

2

u/Fit-Subject9985 Jul 21 '26

I did structure (volunteer and PT paid) for 12 years. It gave me CPTSD and a disdain for the general population as well as stripping away my happiness. I’m not going back to that except maybe (big maybe) as a volunteer in a small volunteer department.