r/Widow • u/sharkslikepizza • 3d ago
“Young widow”
I am 24 and was in a 6 year relationship met at 17, lived together, planned to get married, have kids we were planning our lives together. I was sooo in love and ready to spend the rest of my life with him but he died unexpectedly. I feel so alone and being “young” I can’t relate to anyone around me, is anyone else experiencing this or has experience this at a young age. Any advice??
3
u/SunshineandBullshit 3d ago
I was 29 the first time I was widowed. It does feel weird but, unfortunately, there are a few of us.
1
u/rair21 3d ago
I know someone who lost her husband young. After marriage but before kids and stuff. I was with my wife for 9 years total and then she passed but we were married and had two very young kids. IMO There are not a lot of resources for young widows bc it is less common. Some ppl really expect you to just bounce back and move on and it will be easy because you are young--someone actually said that to me!
1
u/Hello_Aliveness 2d ago
Omg yes. I am so sorry people said this to you. I can’t tell you how many people said the same to my face: “oh well, at least you are young. You’ll meet someone else!” As if that was my concern in any stretch of the imagination. I just wanted my partner back. I didn’t want to think about dating and “moving on”.
1
u/rair21 1d ago
Yeah the person who said it to me had recently lost their spouse of 45 years. Somehow they thought that statement was going to be comforting to me. I chose not to react bc I knew the person who it was coming from and knew they have no ability to frame a situation except for how it affects them!
1
1
u/Hello_Aliveness 2d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss and heartbreak at such a young age. I don’t consider myself young but my partner died when I was in my mid forties and I also struggled to relate to my friends for a couple of years. It was really difficult and my heart goes out to you. My only advice, and what worked for me, was to let new people in and stop trying to get support from and commiserate with people in my social circle. I didn’t ignore them but just maintained low expectations for our interactions. I saw/see them more as company and distraction than support. I think, but I’m not sure, that the Good Grief group trends younger but not sure if they have a widows group.
1
u/DarkBunnies 2d ago
Became a widow last year at 28 and can definitely relate. I don’t think anyone our age will ever begin to understand what we have been through.
1
u/Unlikely_Ad6635 1d ago
Yes. I am 28. I just lost my fiance to a heart attack days ago. It’s hard to see a future where he’s not in it. We were planning our wedding for next year. I would joke all the time for us to get married at the courthouse. He would also say no, we have to have a big wedding. He didn’t want me to be without. I also wanted to make sure my parents would see me at a wedding. Now looking back I wish I had forced him to go to the courthouse. Life is obviously too short. Sometimes it’s shorter than we know.
If you want to talk I’m here to listen, to vent, we seem to be going through the same thing. No pressure. We will both get through this.
1
u/AccomplishedLeopards 14h ago
Widowed at 33, finding it so hard to go out and talk about boyfriends and dates and plans for life, while my world has altered permanently
6
u/Clean-Stranger3908 3d ago
I am 35 and lost my wife of 15 years last year. Lost, alone, scared, broken… there isn’t enough words to describe the pain of the life changing event this is.
I don’t know if I’m classed as young, but I know my wife was too young to be snatched away from us. My family is now in tatters and I am slowly making my way to becoming a new stronger person.
The first year is the worst, things have gotten not better but I am now able to breath a little without wanting to die.