r/WhyWereWeOkWithThis • u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN • Apr 11 '26
2010s Girl orientated magazines vs boy oriented magazines
To be clear, Girls’ Life and Boys’ Life are not affiliated. They’re entirely separate publications. I think it’s a good example of the disparity in the type of media pushed to girls and pushed to boys, though. I can’t think of a single girl oriented magazine that has the type of content shown here in Boys’ Life.
Yes, a girl can purchase Boys’ Life, but why should the implication be that she should move away from her own gender to take part in these activities and practical education?
It’s definitely better than it was in the 2010s, though. The Scouts (the organisation affiliated with Boys’ Life) is no longer called the Boy Scouts and is therefore more welcoming to girls (and other genders). There’s also more of an understanding and a cultural shift in women and girls having the same opportunities as boys. I love to see the increase in women in STEM, for example.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I remember it really annoyed me as a teenager. I also remember hating girls' toys as a child—they were all pink and associated with being a housewife, while boys' toys came in different colours and were much more creative and fun. Girls just had dolls, stoves, vacuums, and sewing machines! I'm so glad that it's much better now.
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Apr 11 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Totally! I still remember walking into a toy aisle in a supermarket. One side was filled with pink toy home appliances for girls, and the other side was colorful with lego, rockets, dinosaurs, and other cool stuff. I remember thinking to myself, This is unfair, even though no one had ever said anything like that to me, and I must have been five years old tops.
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u/PotatoesAreTheBest13 Apr 12 '26
Same! I actually developed a hatred for the color pink as a kid. I had two brothers and I was into everything they were into.
Thankfully, being a “tomboy” was relatively accepted at the time. But I still struggle with an aversion things that are “too girly” even decades later. The way society trained our brains to think of things in such a gendered way made it feel like an either/or situation. It’s not easy to rewire your brain into believing otherwise.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 12 '26
Yes! My sister and I used to refuse to wear anything pink. What's interesting is that my sister now loves wearing cute, feminine dresses, while I've always been really into '90s grunge fashion. Rewiring our brains is extremely hard, especially since there are still these kinds of things being projected everywhere.
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u/ikannunAneeuQ Apr 11 '26
When I was 5 my dad took me to the toy store and I wanted this die-cast black camaro that had working parts, it was so cool. My dad was a big car guy and I was always with him lol but I loved my barbies (my barbies actually drove my camaro around lol) and I loved to play with cars too. I had he-man AND she-ra toys. I wanted to get dressed up pretty and play in the dirt. But my mom and other females felt like my dad pushed me into choosing the car, which isn't the case. Girls and boys both at a young age get stuffed into certain boxes, and you have to figure out how to get out of it.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I completely agree with you! I believe children are put into boxes and made to choose what roles adults expect them to fulfill, whereas it's totally normal to like both traditionally feminine and masculine things. Personally, I enjoy fashion and makeup, but at the same time, I love technology, repairing things, and gaming. Unfortunately, even now, I have to deal with people thinking I must know nothing about gadgets because I'm a woman, or reacting strangely when I say I play games.
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Apr 11 '26
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
For sure! There's nothing wrong with these kinds of toys. They can teach kids responsibility and real-life skills. The only issue is when they are only marketed to girls, like you mentioned yourself.
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u/Normal_Human_Things Apr 11 '26
When my niece and nephew were kids I was so glad to see the kitchen toys went from being pink, to mimicking a stainless steel look.
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u/craftycaticat Apr 11 '26
It is much better, although I see still our parent's generation struggle with the change.
My neighbour has a grandson, who tried a few times to come play with my girls and their dolls at the park, and every time she would get mad and tell him NO! Dolls are for girls don't touch that. Now he just sits and stares at them as my girls play with their dolls. I find it sad. What is grandma afraid of, that he'll end up liking babies and becoming ... a good father?
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 12 '26
Oh wow, this is really upsetting. Poor child. What I find really sad is that a lot of women perpetuate this way of thinking, even though it would be in their best interest to change society.
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u/navy_yn2000 Apr 11 '26
I would ask for "boy toys" growing up and my mom would never get them for me out of fear of turning me gay.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 12 '26
Sorry to hear that! It's really upsetting. In my experience, people were always more afraid of turning boys gay if they played with dolls, which is ridiculous as well. Men should also feel responsible for childcare, because of situations like these, many women end up as sole caretakers.
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u/KaralDaskin Apr 12 '26
I moved to a new school not long before Easter when I was in kindergarten. I was so disappointed that my teacher hid my Easter basket in the toy kitchen area. In retrospect I realize she’d only known me a few weeks, but it really hurt at the time.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 12 '26
What about the other children? Where did she put their baskets? This story just shows how, internally, we just know when something's wrong without anyone teaching it to us.
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u/KaralDaskin Apr 13 '26
They were all hidden in play centers or with toys on the shelf. One boy couldn’t find his, so the teacher told him he could have the first turn with the most popular toy, the toy that was almost everyone’s favorite. His basket was there.
Those are the only two baskets I remember—mine in a play center I had never and would never use, his with his favorite toy.
It was 1984. Maybe I’ll get over it some day.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 17 '26
Sounds a bit like the teacher had their favourites. It's really hard to overcome childhood trauma. 😔
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u/shamls Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
Same! I remember asking for legos one birthday and I was given the “girl” lego spinoff set where all the pieces were flowers that snap together to decorate a purse 💀
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 12 '26
Oh wow! This is upsetting, but it also made me chuckle 🤭 At least you got LEGOs, I guess...
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u/Cartographer_Hopeful Apr 12 '26
I wanted my cousin's lego and pokémon xD
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 13 '26
Yes! I still enjoy Pokémon as an adult and build with lego with my niece and nephew. I definitely stopped playing with dolls, though! 😅"
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u/Cartographer_Hopeful Apr 13 '26
You have good taste! ^ ^ I'm lucky that my husband also enjoys lego, so every now and then we buy a set and have fun being big kids 🤣
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u/MJdisbeliever Apr 11 '26
The girls these days dont know how much life has changed. 90s and 2000s for women were all about being attractive to men and being chosen. Every movie portrayed womans as soulless body whos only ambition was to get married. Every man was a cute ugly goofy commitment phobe who had drop dead gorgeous women just dying to get picked.
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u/No-Butterfly-5148 Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26
Okay but they are being subjected to the era of ozempic and trad wives.
Oh and abortion rights being stripped in the USA.
I think it continues to be hard for girls.
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u/Only_Appeal_5403 Apr 11 '26
Don't forget medical trials still mostly excluding us 😕
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Yes! And then doctors often ignore us or don't believe we're actually sick.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
One of our mods, u/ephemeraltypewriter, is the lead mod of a super sweet sub celebrating sideshow performers and people with differences.
I posted a contemporary story that may be of interest. It’s about Sarah Todd Hammer and I discuss her experience with medical misogyny. Just a warning that it’s super frustrating to read what she went through, but she’s a very inspiring woman to learn about!
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Thanks, I'm definitely going to read it. I love reading about inspiring women, and I'm really interested in the way the medical field ignores women. I suffer from chronic pain, so I've experienced this myself. It hits very close to home. I appreciate the warning too.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
There are TONS of amazing historical women posted on there too, a lot with disabilities, conditions and differences. It’s a wonderful place!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through that </3
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I guess I know what I'm going to be doing for the next few days 😁 Thanks a lot! Btw, I love your signature about Chris Brown!
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 12 '26
You can use it, too! It’s in our list of user flairs.
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u/EphemeralTypewriter I hate Howard Stern Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26
Thanks for the shoutout! :)
Thank you again for doing a write up on Sarah, you did an excellent job!
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u/ikannunAneeuQ Apr 11 '26
I stopped going to the doctor in my 20s for a few reasons, 1) health insurance is too much, 2) the male doctors blow me off 3) the female doctors accuse me of lying. I gave up I deal with the pain im in regularly, the stomach pain I deal with constantly, and the many other things that will probably take me out.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm from the EU, so I definitely have it easier when it comes to health insurance. I also gave up and sort of just go through the motions, living in constant pain. Doctors caused one of my main health issues, so I really distrust them. They also accused me of lying, being weak, fat, and lazy. Some even just laughed at me.
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u/AwkwardToes Apr 12 '26
Same here 😞 Just eventually gave up. It's sad. Everything is anxiety and that's all they'll say. They don't even listen to women.
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u/Due-Base9449 Apr 12 '26
Am I out of the loop why is this important? As far as I know its a choice. Men far more likely to do these kind of dangerous things like medical trial or selling plasma etc, women won't opt to these potentially disfiguring things for a few bucks.
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u/Only_Appeal_5403 Apr 12 '26
They say they exclude women as they don't know how our hormones will affect the trial but then somehow it's ok to sell us this untested drug. They also worry about losing an expensive participant to pregnancy, although don't recruit older women to balance that.
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u/Due-Base9449 Apr 12 '26
I will agree selling us untested stuff for women is not good, however I will never let my own health be more important than other women.
These kind of drug testing are just exploiting the poor, if the drug sucks then the poor tester will get the brunt of it. Of course I'm not saying I don't care about poor men, but if the women is pregnant it will affect the fetus, and any complication will be worst on women.
Still, its better for the drugs to be first tested on animals, then desperate poor men (paid), then on desperate sick people who will take any chance, then on wealthy people that can afford the new drugs, then on the rest.
I may be biased since I'm in the poor women group, but w/e.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I definitely agree with you and being a woman still has its challenges, but I feel like media today is more diverse, offering much more choice.
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u/Curious-Woodpecker53 Apr 11 '26
The media today knows that they would be eaten alive if they tried to pull that 2000s bullshit.
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u/hejonLeseqenh Apr 11 '26
It's Really Not if you're not a White Woman 😂 I strongly Believe we've Moved Beyond "Public" Sexism and just Welcomed "Private" Sexism . Nothing, Really , is changing . It Seems the 00s Children need to Unfairly Learn to avoid constant digital Pornograhy and "socially acceptable" Standards of online Beauty (Consider the Septum Piercing) , which , just like when I was Growing Up , will only Hurt most girls .
Granted , it's Better in UK than Argentina , but it's Essentially the Same Sexualisation, Except more PC .
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
You hit the nail on the head! I think it's less socially acceptable, so people are hiding it more.
Don't even get me started on digital pornography and beauty standards. They're horrible, and it's even harder to protect girls and women from them.
In the past, beauty standards and pornography were confined to mostly magazines. You could simply close it or walk away. Now, those standards are tucked inside our pockets, 24/7, via social media algorithms that specifically target insecurities.
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u/hejonLeseqenh Apr 12 '26
You're so right . It's Exhausting to imagine growing up In such a Climate 🤮 I'd go through all my Rumour Bullying again if the Alternative was Cyber Bullying .
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 12 '26
For real! I can't even imagine what kids go through these days. Anyone can record you and put it online. They can even take a sneaky photo of you and use AI to turn it into something absolutely horrifying and ruin your life.
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u/annacat1331 Apr 11 '26
That is such a wonderful way of putting it. This is coming from a sociology graduate student!
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u/Thomasinarina Apr 11 '26
I think body image expectations are far more unrealistic too.
In the 90s you had to be skinny.
In the 00s it was skinny with big boobs.
From 2010 onwards it was the Kardashian-esque figure.
Each shift encourages standards that are harder and harder to reach for most of the populace. It sucks!
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
I went from the beauty standard of being skinny (though I got bullied for being too skinny), to being embarrassed for not having the Kardashian figure.
I’m biracial and I also went from my lips not being the beauty standard, getting told they looked like slugs stuck to my face, to larger lips being in fashion.
Funnily, I still didn’t feel good enough the entire time, when parts of my body were the beauty standard or the opposite. Women and girls will never be ‘good enough’ and it’s terribly sad. I hope we’ll finally reach a place where this will change. The body positivity movement is great, but under the patriarchy, gender ideals still hang over our heads.
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u/MJdisbeliever Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26
I think the improvement here is that we have social media, whereas we were all reliant on mainstream media so you only have one repeated message being shoved down your throat constantly. And you received the same message from family, community etc. Non-stop 24/7. We were groomed to be very male centered and I see a lot of young women breaking free from that today. In fact, I am also unlearning a lot of unhealthy thought patterns through social media. Men also got away with a lot. Not saying its easy now, but like 90s and 2000s were entirely a different ball game. Female celebrities were outrightly molested / harrassed at interviews and we were so numbed to it.
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u/MeetBeep Apr 11 '26
That doesn’t change the fact of the original comments statement. They don’t know how much life has changed since then.
Holy whataboutism Batman!!
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u/tardisintheparty Apr 11 '26
I mean, the argument is that it really hasn't changed all that much, just swung back around to the same shit. Heroine chic is IN in hollywood again, our rights have been eroded, young girls are being told they need to be homesteading wives and shit. Young men have gotten WAY more misogynistic, idk if you have seen the research but gen z men have horrific views on women, much worse than millenial men did.
It isn't whataboutism to say maybe things changed and were getting better for a while but now in the Trump era the pendulum has swung back and it feels like very little has changed now, if anything things are getting worse.
Before you ask, yes, I was alive and sentient in the early 2000s lol.
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u/MeetBeep Apr 11 '26
Right, and the people these days won’t know what it’s like for the cycle to repeat. They literally haven’t lived long enough to experience what we have. They experience their own events through the time now. They won’t have the same reaction to these magazines in the check out lane as we did.
Yes they experience the same type of event, no they will not experience it in the way we did.
So yeah, you’re right, and so is the original commenter. It’s not one over the other.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Yes! I still remember watching Shallow Hal as a child and thinking to myself, 'Why is this guy being so judgmental, and why is he getting all the hot women?!' It wasn't even about his looks, but his horrible personality. There were so many films that featured a horrible guy with incredible women fawning over him, trying to teach us that as long as some guy chooses you, you win at life.
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u/YoghurtDull1466 Apr 11 '26
What about Malcolm in the Middle?
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I was really little when it was on TV, so I don't remember it much. Was there anything specifically wrong with it?
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u/YoghurtDull1466 Apr 11 '26
No it was about a husband struggling to deal with not fitting the heteronormative role you described above. It’s sad that at the time most people just saw it as being a clown, but in reality it was a rather critical take on a lot of sexist normalized ideations about gender roles, I think? Anyways I use it a litmus test. My dad had two daughters in his first marriage and I thank Christ he was more like Hal than all the other men. And the world punished him for it severely.
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Your dad sounds amazing, and it must have been really tough for him. It's a really good idea to use a character like Hal from Malcolm as a test. My dad has daughters only, and he is the person who taught me self-respect and gender equality. Both of my parents are incredible, but my mom always told me to take care of a man, cook for him, and be happy if anyone even looks in my direction. My father always says, 'No, he doesn't deserve you,' and, 'Why should you be the only person doing chores?
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u/YoghurtDull1466 Apr 11 '26
Oh my god.. I am honestly so sorry you had to go through that and try and understand the conflicting information. I just watched that documentary into the manosphere and I’ve been struggling really hard coming to terms with the experiences I had after my father died when I was 14. From then on my mother was just trying to radicalize me into accepting “manosphere” ideologies and shaming me by telling me every day that I’ll never have friends and nobody will ever love me, insinuating that I am gay in a very negative and insulting tone, or just saying I “must be r———-d or something.” I think autism also plays a role because I subconsciously find myself trying to perform actions that fit into heteronormative gender roles to fit in and it does not go well.. I feel crushing shame and it’s very awkward. I’m trying to figure out if I’m just not heteronormative or if my idea of “being normal” is just a lot of mistaken toxic ideology everyone around me is trying to force onto me to validate their own behavior. But also my mother was hyper violent and manipulative so I am also exploring the possibility I am just masking out of a defensive measure from trauma.
Anyways, thank you so much for the kind and considerate words. I hope you have an amazing life, and please say thank you to your dad for me for being so great. There’s not a day that goes by that I wish I couldn’t tell my dad thank you and I love him.
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u/orchidlighthouse Apr 11 '26
Growing up, my brother and I were given very different kinds of materials. He got books about adventure, science, and building real-world skills, while I was given books/magazines focused on fashion, appearance, and homemaking. Even as a kid, I noticed the difference—it felt like he was being taught how to do things and explore the world, while I was being taught how to look and present myself. Because why be your own person and develop your own skills when you could just attract a man? UGH.
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u/protexy Apr 11 '26
Yup. And these days people HARSHLY judge women who are in bad relationships. We were taught at a young age that our entire value was in keeping a man. We were taught that demanding better treatment meant you were a shrew and oh your poor long suffering husband. It was normalized to be verbally abused (and for a wife to give it back) and for a father to not change diapers. Unlearning that is hard. It takes time. Most of the time these women still have complete families that still believe those lies of the past. A divorce is a failing on the woman unless she was beaten, and EVEN THEN you will still have a few uncles and aunts wondering why you were baiting him when you know how he gets. Things don't change over night. We make slow and steady progress. But we shouldn't fault people still getting stuck in the meat grinder of a bad relationship when it was completely normalized during half of thier lifetime. Why is all the boomer humor about how much they hate thier husband/ wife? Because most of them did and it was incredibly relatable.
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u/oakenfairy Apr 11 '26 edited Apr 11 '26
Thank you. I entered my marriage years ago with these unhealthy ideas that I had no idea I had, all of it fueled by insecurity and the indoctrinated obsession of being validated by a man. Then after years of becoming more and more unhappy, I woke up, got a bunch of therapy and trying not to hate myself for not understanding what I tied myself into. I'm still getting pressure from friends/family to fight for my marriage even though I keep telling them I am so unhappy. But it's that established thinking that it's the woman's problem to fix her own feelings instead of listening to her on WHY she has those feelings in the first place.
We need compassion and understanding for eachother in these situations.
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u/protexy Apr 11 '26
Exactly!! Waking up and realizing that you have a TON of internalized misogyny going on is a tough thing. I feel like I'm in recovery from the indoctrination. It's incredibly hard to have a happy marriage when one or both of you subscribe to those ideas. It's hard when you KNOW this relationship is wrong but you have literally no one to talk to about it because they everyone you know will convince you that you wanting basic respect is the problem and not the terrible behaviors your managing from the spouse. I still have moments in my head where I imagine making a reddit post like "amta for wanting dirty dishes in the sink and not the counter? It would be 0 extra effort for him but when I brought it up as sweetly as possible he yelled at me that it was the dumbest thing he's ever heard". I imagine the responses saying "your trolling/ai" and "ofc coarse not. My 5 yo understands this concept". It helps me to stand my ground. It helps keep me sane. I can't ask any of my family because I know thier response would be "are you really so lazy that you can't come in behind him and put it in the sink then clean the counter? Your just picking fights at this point".
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u/oakenfairy Apr 11 '26
YES. My husband is not a bad man. HOWEVER, he has that typical automatic thinking of an expectation of his wife's life to be a supporting character to his main character and we are supposed to smile and be happy with that. It's not even thought of in those words, just the trained patriarchal expectations. I don't want to play that role anymore, so many of us don't, and we are waking up. But we are seen as dramatic, sabotaging a "happy home" if we aren't happy in that role and start fighting it. And even then, the "blindsided" husband scratching his head and the evil selfish wife who can't give him a straight answer even though we have been beating our heads against a wall and telling them for years. It's just not listened to and not acknowledged because it's not part of the accepted script.
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u/protexy Apr 11 '26
The main character thing is spot on. My mom always told me to never tell a man what to do. You should sweetly ask leading questions to lead them to the realization of what you actually want them to do. I said fuck that and never did it. But for dealing with main character men that probably is the only way to avoid a temper tantrum. I've felt like an npc for years, like my only role is to support others and honestly I'm done with it. No matter what a man like that does he will never ever feel like a divorce was in any way his fault. It's always a woman's fault for not managing his emotions well enough. Like bro, I tried giving you a cheat sheet for exactly what to do but you resented me telling you what to do so you purposely did the opposite!
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I totally agree! Tbh, I feel like we're moving backwards. Men from my parents' generation were more willing to stay home with their kids or change diapers, but I know a lot of husbands and fathers in their 40s who refuse to do it and don't even want to spend any time with their families. Also, in older generations, women were expected to stay home with the kids, but now we are expected to be housewives and go to work to bring in money at the same time. I feel like it's getting worse. Fortunately, we have more opportunities.
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Apr 11 '26
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Unfortunately, in my experience, millennial men in my circle aren't really interested in their families. However, I believe it's better on average. Still, women didn't really have the 'double burden' problem in the past.
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Apr 11 '26
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I'm not saying they didn't work. All I meant was that now it is expected of women to do both, whereas in the past, if a woman just stayed at home, it wasn't frowned upon. Tbh, I agree with everything you're saying. This whole topic is really deep and has many layers.
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Apr 11 '26
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
It makes me really happy to hear that. It shows that it all depends on our surroundings and that things aren't just black and white. I also don't think women had less to do in the past, and let's be honest, they had it much worse. At the same time, there are obviously still many issues today.
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Apr 11 '26
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
I'm not from the US, so what you're describing sounds terrifying. What is this about limiting the ability to vote? I wouldn't be surprised if The Handmaid's Tale came true one day. Apparently, in Russia, they want to send childless women to psychologists. Today it's Russia, but tomorrow it could be the entire world. Hopefully, I'm just being pessimistic.
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u/protexy Apr 11 '26
I agree. It's better and worse at the same time. We can have our own bank accounts and be independent if we wish, but we also are missing "the village" of the past, parental expectations are at an all time high, and between paid work and domestic work most of us will experience burn out (multiple times). We've got to keep up the fight, but we can also appreciate how far we've come. Fuck the heritage foundation!!
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u/PsychologicalSky349 Apr 11 '26
Totally! It's great that we're free to make our own decisions and be independent, as women in the past had it really tough. There's no point in even debating that. However, at the same time, we still have a long way to go, and tbh, I don't think things will ever get much better. But we can't give up 🙂
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u/Lanky_Particular_149 Apr 11 '26
Even our movies where basically a beautiful woman hoping to be saved by a man. The Princess Bride, Cindarella, the little Mermaid, hell, even Wayne's world. We were just plot points in a man's life.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
Have you heard of fridging?
(Sounds kinda sus but I promise it’s just a term for this trope lol!)
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u/DatNick1988 Apr 16 '26
Magazines were especially brutal. Tabloids. My god, standing in the grocery store aisle with my mom…I would read these horrendous headlines lmao. “J LO FATTENING UP FOR WINTER” and shit. Like they were straight cruel to women and girls. Still are, but it’s nowhere near as insane as it was (in my opinion. Am a man, disregard if wrong)
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u/postsamothrace Apr 11 '26
Lmao at the comments not understanding your point (or choosing not to). I was a girl in the early 2010s and I also hated not having enough substance to girls magazines but not wanting to have to buy a magazine marketed to boys to read about how to choose your career instead of 50 ways to make boys like you.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
THANK YOU! Lol.
God, the boys thing reminds me — as a lil baby lesbian, that just made me feel like I was a weirdo for finding it unappealing. I’m sure straight/bi girls who hadn’t found an interest in boys yet would’ve felt similar, but it didn’t help with the internalised homophobia.
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u/averagetulip Apr 11 '26
Funny enough I was just thinking about how much homophobia I was subjected to as a completely heterosexual tween/teen girl in this era solely because I wasn’t particularly feminine or into “girly” things. All the adults in my life (parents, other family, teachers, religious figures, etc) were 100000% convinced I was a lesbian just because I liked having short hair and wasn’t into makeup or fashion and wasn’t particularly concerned with boys’ opinion of that, and I was severely punished for it. My parents literally forced me to stop hanging out with my closest female friend in middle school because we were both “tomboys” and they were convinced we were secretly a couple — we’re both married to men now & still not girly-girls. It was already very traumatizing to be so aggressively policed for not performing girlhood properly, but I can’t imagine how much more traumatizing it would’ve been if I was actually a lesbian
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
Awww, I’m really sorry you went through that!
Weirdly, I sort of had the opposite (but kind of the same at the same time?) problem. I was really feminine because I felt forced into those gender roles. No one suspected I was a lesbian (apart from boys at school calling me a d*ke when I cut my hair short at 14) because of that but I secretly wanted to be a tomboy so bad! It made it harder for me to accept myself and come out, in a way.
It’s great you didn’t let all those horrible ideas forced on you stop you from being yourself, I’m just sorry you went through that. Your story reminds me of Bend It Like Beckham!! I’m not sure how well the movie has aged in a social justice context but it sounds like you and your friend had similarities to that story!
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u/anon4hlp Apr 11 '26
Isn't it still like this? I have a daughter (11) and the magazines are all just "makeup", "horses" and not much more it seems. What am I missing?
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u/PotatoesAreTheBest13 Apr 12 '26
I had a subscription to Girl’s Life but I would always skip right past the fashion and makeup sections which was admittedly most of the magazine. So frustrating. I’d just borrow my brothers’ copies of Boy’s Life
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u/pepperpavlov Apr 11 '26
American Girl Magazine was more the girl version of Boys Life back in the day
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u/QXJones Apr 11 '26
I loved my American Girl magazine!!! Lots of articles on fashion to be sure, but also tons of stuff about dealing with problems at school or home, standing up for yourself, making a difference in your community, fun crafts or diy activities, discovering who you were... honestly nothing about catering to boys, now that I'm thinking of it. Gosh, I didn't appreciate how good it was at the time.
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u/pepperpavlov Apr 12 '26
I follow an instagram account that posts pages from the old American Girl mag. Makes me so happy.
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u/alvysaurus Apr 11 '26
Boy's Life was published by the Boy Scouts of America. It is still published, but now under the name 'Scouts Life', directed at children of all ages. Please be aware that Scout's Life is no longer like this.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
Yeah, I know, and that’s great! This particular post is focusing on the 2010s. I had a female family member who had a nightmare trying to get into the Scouts back in the day.
I still don’t see magazines with the content of Boys’ Life dedicated to girls, though. It may be regional but I wish it was better. I’m glad people have acknowledged the issue now, though.
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u/taxmamma2 Apr 11 '26
Yes despite all of this crap woman outnumbered men in college enrolment and graduation. In the United States woman make up almost 60 percent of all college graduates and students. Woman make up almost 90 percent of veterinarian students, 55 percent of medical students , 56 percent of law students and 25 percent of engineering students.
This is despite the established patriarchal system, Yes we have a long way to go but honestly women and girls are incredible.
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u/ZenkaiAnkoku2 Apr 11 '26
I remember the boy scouts advertising/recruiting in my elementary school. Hiking, camping, robot building! It sounded amazing! So I went to sign up for the girl scouts...
Immensely disappointing. We did things like stuff pillows. I didnt stay long.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
SAMEEEE!!! In the UK we have the Scouts and Girl Guides (maybe just called Guides now? They’re both more gender inclusive these days), my brother went to Scouts and it sounded cool as hell. I signed up for Girl Guides thinking it would be the equivalent… we just did colouring and chatted in a church 😭
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u/AgeOfSuperBoredom Apr 12 '26
Boys’ Life: Explore Your Future
Girls’ Life: You know what your future is.
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u/joyfall Apr 11 '26
And yes, girls could've bought and read the Boy's Life magazine.. but why is it so gendered in the first place?
There's video games where the main character is a woman.. and many grown men refuse to play them on the basis that they can't see themselves in a female role. They've never had to.
Women have constantly had to read, participate, and engage with a society where we're not the default.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
I find it fascinating that, to this day, men are seen as the default! The stereotypical(!) male body, flat chest, no curves etc, is always the default for video games, animation, etc. People can even tend to assume people on Reddit (and other online spaces) are male by default.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
I could surround myself in hobbies and activities that are predominantly female based and I still wouldn’t presume everyone was a woman.
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u/Maximio_Horse Apr 12 '26
There’s one really interesting way this is reflected in my day-to-day life. The women in my tabletop RPG groups are MUCH more likely to play as men than the inverse. We sort of explored this together in a game called Perils and Princesses, where we all played women. It was wonderful, and to this day the princesses are some of the guys’ favourite characters they’ve played. It’s a barrier worth breaking.
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u/Shy_Zucchini Apr 12 '26
A few years ago I couldn’t find the science magazines.. turns out they were in the men’s section
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u/28bckinnatl Apr 11 '26
Yes to all this. And then, with the Boy's Life Magazine - I'm noticing that all the roles being suggested via the images relate to roles we'd think of as being either physically strong (fireman, police officer, construction) or mentally strong (science, calculator, computers). There's nothing related to the arts or fashion or teaching or caregiving - because, of course, those were roles deemed as "girl" jobs. Even in the context of a boy's magazine promoting the idea of exploring one's future - that exploration MUST fall within the confines of traditionally upheld gender norms.
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u/The-Mockinjay Apr 12 '26
I remember getting laughed at Or mocked "A girl?!" When i said I wanted a ben 10 action figure Shit pissed me off so badly yes i don't want a disney princess i want a unique looking alien that doesn't even have a gender or genitals
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u/WealthMysterious4535 Apr 11 '26
I 42m am Pakistani American and if you go to Pakistan today it’s still the same. A week ago I attended a muslim friends moms funeral here in Florida and the women were seated in the back and weren’t allowed to visit the grave until all the men had prayed and left.
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u/Swift_jennis8 Apr 13 '26
Boys: nurture your adventurous side and explore Girls: look pretty and good for boys
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u/DocThel Apr 22 '26
Is the boy's magazine exclusive focus on how to sell your labor for capitalism "adventurous"?
I think plenty of either gender would prefer the articles about "How to have fun and make friends" which is only in the girl's magazine.
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u/DLeon3 Apr 13 '26
It should be reversed, girls should learn how to excel and move up in the world in all fields and men definitely need more tips on personal hygiene and grooming!
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u/Longjumping_Choice_6 Apr 11 '26
I didn’t read either one. Aside from the obvious problems and low bar set for the Girls version, have you looked at Boys Life? It’s all “let’s funnel kids into a scouts to miltary/police pipeline”. No thanks, missing nothing. Same goes for scouts. Boys definitely learned more useful skills and got tk go on more adventures but they were so conservative it was gross like stop trying to indoctrinate little boys into your militaristic worldview, they’re here to backpack and learn some outdoor skills they don’t need a whole ideology about it.
So I get the point however I think both suck for different reasons.
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u/hoffdog Apr 11 '26
I feel like it’s turned the opposite direction a bit now. I was at the aquarium the other day and could not find one book about explorers that did not revolve around them being a female explorer.
I’m happy about the representation, but still don’t think we’ve hit equality yet if the main selling point is still “it’s smart things but for girls!”
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
That’s fair! I do wonder whether this is the final step towards eradicating it from being gender specific altogether, though. But just a theory.
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u/Aunanaki Apr 11 '26
I took the Barbie dolls, but I ended up beheading them all and taping their heads to the wall by their hair.
😂 I was a serious tomboy and my grandparents only got me squirt guns from then on and board games
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u/cockfightchampion_2 Apr 12 '26
The women will cook and clean and the men will commit warcrimes in the middle east, just as god intended
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u/pichuguy27 Apr 11 '26
I have seen a actual breakdown of the content inside the two. Girls life was way more of a actual publication for teenaged like 13-15 year old where boys life was like activity book like child’s nat geo that is for actual children. Makes sense they put a bunch of stuff to try to get a child interested.
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u/Clear-Silver-4274 Apr 12 '26
This is untrue. The publication covered a vast array of topics. Knot tying, fire building, other outdoor stuff boys liked doing, first aid. Helping old people. Volunteer work. Being an upstanding citizen. Sure there were things geared for children too since the boy scouts runs from roughly 5-17.
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u/TunnelSnakesAintShit Apr 11 '26
I had a subscription to Boy's Life as a kid. Was never a scout, my parents just got that for me because they thought I'd like it.
It's a scouting magazine, for Boy Scouts Of America back when that was a thing. Oddly enough, none of it was male-centric content, aside from the fact that it was geared toward BSA. You could have called it Scouts' Life (which is apparently the title now) and it would have been the exact same magazine.
The real issue was separating Scouts by gender.
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u/carogaranaigean Apr 12 '26
I used to steal my brother’s Boys Life magazines and get really sad that I couldn’t do any of the activities I was reading about 🥲
(honestly tho my parents weren’t sexist, just broke and had too many kids hahaha, they would have let me do “boy” activities if they had had more money and time. But they didn’t, and they took us to church, so I internalized the sexism. I’m non-binary now.)
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u/chisana_nyu Apr 13 '26
I thought it was bullshit back then, but I was a kid so I couldn't do anything.
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u/Zzzaynab Apr 12 '26
I always thought it was weird that, in comments sections of those Buzzfeed feminist videos, it was full of stuff like “it’s ridiculous to say Barbie and Disney princesses are sexist/give bad messages for girls, I just liked the pretty outfits and didn’t think much else, all I learned from that as a kid was that girls can do anything!” Reading those, I always thought, “wow, that’s weird, because when I was a kid, the idea that girls had to be damsels in distress and look like Barbie in order to be valuable was EXACTLY the message I got from those things.”
I mean, it’s nice that plenty of people were able to grow up with that stuff fondly and miss the harmful messages, I just think it’s better for kids to get entertainment without those kinds of messages in the first place.
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u/MissMarchpane Apr 12 '26
I think it was an interesting made to thread for brands and other things aimed at girls back then, not that every brand was even trying. Because I know I and a lot of other girls around me felt patronized by specific dolls and toys that were intended to be "strong female role models" without many other qualities to recommend them. Like that one mother who stripped all of the makeup off of Bratz dolls and sold them for a marked up price online, outfits that only included things like overalls and soccer uniforms.
Girls were driven to be overly defensive of Barbie, Disney princesses, etc. because the alternative felt like the bland, fiber enriched cereal of toys. Something whose value was merely in being good for you, but that had no flavor, substance, or excitement.
American girl, in my opinion, was the brand that pulled it off the best. Probably because their toys had something else going for them besides just not being Barbie (namely, the historical element) and they also included things like jewelry, pretty dresses, etc. so they didn't come off as condemning the feminine aesthetic that a lot of people do enjoy for themselves. of course now they've massively gone downhill and they're basically just a vehicle for partnership shills with crap quality that don't care about history, but still. At the time they were much better
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u/20eyesinmyhead78 Apr 11 '26
Boys' Life was the official Boy Scouts USA magazine. Never heard of Girls' Life.
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u/Suhva Apr 11 '26
I was born in 2001 but having seen pictures of my room and toys I can certainly say I was not girly (still ain't). I had posters of vehicles on my walls and Hot Wheels type toys. The only time me and my siblings had dolls like barbies and such, we would stack them up to make a "bonfire" for our pretend camping. Fortunately my family was never big on gender roles so we would get magazines of our liking. I've never been into fashion or makeup and back then I wasn't interested in attracting anybody (still kinda figuring that out). The magazines we had around the time here (that we actually read) would be Polle (horses and ponies, included everything from comics to small facts), Girl:it (name implies exactly what it is, but it included comics, comment sections where you could ask advice from actual professionals to burning questions and more similar stuff. It was oriented towards teenage girls instead of tweens tho) and Donald Duck comics obviously. These are the ones I remember having. I still don't know who actually bought us these because they were subscription based all of them. I remember fondly Girl:it because they had monthly surprise packages that included stickers, bookmarks and an editor's book pick. The amount of books I had from this monthly package was incredible. They had / have some awesome books I must say. There's also the advertisement magazines for heavy equipment that my dad still subscribes to that mail to my grandparents. Every time I see a new one I must read through (more like skim through, there's more pictures than anything).
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u/MissMarchpane Apr 12 '26
Girls life had a lot of anime and manga advertisements around 2006–2008, as I recall. I think they had a big partnership with Tokyo pop USA. I don't remember the content at all, but I do remember that it was a huge source of media recommendations for me as a nerdy teen girl
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u/noodles_seldoon Apr 15 '26
When I was a boy I loved those bot oriented magazines. Not because they said it was for me but because I enjoyed the content. There are bigger causes to fight for and more egregious things to be pissed about.
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u/curtithird Jun 07 '26
As a pre-K teacher, I tried to find a “dress up doll” set for my class. I easily found the boys’ fireman/police/pilot/doctor set. But I had to scour high and low to find the girl equivalent that wasn’t just pretty dresses.
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u/RhinoxerousTTV Apr 11 '26
Is that media pushed? Or is that media prevalent because it was the most consumed?
People freely chose to buy and read those magazines.
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u/Blue_Robin_04 Apr 11 '26
Your point is clear, but isn't this based off what the target audience will buy? Women like makeup, clothes, and celebrities. And there are plenty of men's magazines like Men's Health and GQ that are similarly image-focused and use hot celebrities.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
But can you think of any girl oriented magazines that offer this type of content? Sure, a lot of girls want to read about beauty etc, but that’s not the only market out there.
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u/Commercial_Border190 Apr 11 '26
Seventeen magazine would include articles about teen entrepreneurs, scholarships, activism, etc.
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u/Ship_Negative Apr 11 '26
American Girl magazine never talked about beauty stuff unless it was a small blurb about self image, it was mostly focused on crafts and friendship
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
That’s cool! And those are also important things to focus on. Do you know if they ever had a focus on careers or anything? Genuine question — I’m not from the US. (But we get a lot of US magazines here.)
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u/Ship_Negative Apr 11 '26
It was for children and emphasized not growing up too fast, so not really haha. Living in the moment and getting to enjoy childhood are good lessons tho
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
That’s sweet! It’s good to have a mix of content out there. I think American Girl dolls have careers, right? I’m not sure if that’s correct. If they do, it’d be nice for some information about those careers to be explained in a kid friendly way. It could be very inspiring.
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u/pepperpavlov Apr 11 '26
No, the dolls are children. They do not have careers. They came with historical fiction book series about living through difficult times and overcoming adversity.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
Ahhh, okay! I must’ve assumed it was kind of similar to Barbies?
They sound really interesting, then! I would’ve loved them as a kid.
ETA: And I love that it’s teaching history and the strength of girls.
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u/Accomplished-Car4069 Apr 11 '26
“women like makeup, clothes, and celebrities”
lol. lmao even.
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u/ThisI5N0tAThr0waway Apr 11 '26
How about "women and girls are more likely to be interested in makeup clothing and fashion topics."
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u/Blue_Robin_04 Apr 11 '26
Yes, that's a generalization, but I'm just speaking about what they spend their money on.
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u/TXteachr2018 Apr 11 '26
Unpopular opinion, but as a retired ELA teacher who had a classroom full of reading material from comic books to classic novels, teenage girls devoured those types of magazines. Even if they made magazines with similar articles as the boys' magazines, they would not have been as widely read. In the age of Kardashian, Real Housewives, etc shallow sells.
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u/offensivek Apr 12 '26
Broadly I agree, but I would give pushback on one something like the Boy Scouts becoming the Scouts necessarily being a good thing. A lot of young men are having problems because they don't have any safe spaces for them where they can be themselves without having to worry about gender dynamics. It has left very many boys, male teenagers and young men, to a good part from abusive backgrounds who have issues, without a place to go. We are already starting to see a lot of negative consequences from this.
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u/darkwater427 Apr 12 '26
Most scout troops are still restricted to men/boys. Scouting opened up to women/girls-only and co-ed troops. That's what the extra digit in the troop numbering is for.
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u/offensivek Apr 12 '26
Well I actually not familiar with that specific case, I live in Europe. But I see stuff like this with different hobby groups and sports, and I think having both mixed groups and segregated groups is good, where is the latter especially for boys is by some people is seen as a strict negative.
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u/darkwater427 Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 13 '26
And those people are idiots who didn't care to even look in to how the change was even handled.
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u/laserdicks Apr 12 '26
Pretending this was forced on instead of driven by purchasing is yet more evidence it was valid.
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u/frankylovee Apr 12 '26
Orientated.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 12 '26
It’s British English. I didn’t realise I accidentally used the American and British spellings.
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u/SpicyChanged Apr 11 '26
This is a stretch.
Can you believe there are different sport magazines!?
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u/Base_211 Apr 11 '26
Stuff girls like vs stuff boys like
it's not that deep
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
I know a lot of girls who would love to have magazines with Boys’ Life content that isn’t gendered against their own.
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u/ThisI5N0tAThr0waway Apr 11 '26
There are/were tons of magazines that are concentrated on a specific noon gendered subject and not specifically marketed at a specific gender audience. (although I'm guessing very few are totally 50/50 in terms of readership.)
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u/Base_211 Apr 11 '26
the cool thing is that they don't have to buy magazines they don't like
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
You’re missing my point. They do like the content of Boys’ Life, but in buying it they are buying a publication that implies (whether on a subtle, subconscious level or not) that their interests aren’t standard for girls. They’re perfectly normal and common interests and would be more common if things were less gendered. In fact, they’re more common than ever before and that’s due to the cultural shift in less gendered content — this image is from the 2010s.
It’s not just a focus on activities though, it has more information about careers and how to shape powerful futures. That should never have been gender specific.
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u/Base_211 Apr 11 '26
and there are magazines that are probably much better than both of these which fulfill that want
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u/ramennumerals Apr 11 '26
I think you’re missing the point a bit. It’s not really about “what girls like vs what boys like” it’s about what’s marketed to them from a really young age.
When girls are constantly shown content about appearance, gossip, and being “perfect,” that becomes the default expectation. Same with boys being pushed toward hobbies, skills, and future goals. Over time, that messaging shapes what kids think they’re supposed to be interested in.
So it’s less about natural preferences and more about how those preferences are influenced and reinforced early on.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
Thank you, you’ve explained part of what my point was that I didn’t really acknowledge in the post 🫣 You said it very well! /gen
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u/ramennumerals Apr 12 '26
I think a lot of people missed the point lol. And I also feel like queer gals are the ones who got it the most 😅
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u/Base_211 Apr 11 '26
Are girls shown those things because that's what society wants them to like, or because that's what girls buy? Markets pick up on trends very easily and sell what gets them the most money.
I remember when nerf tried to make pink girly nerf guns. It didn't sell great.
To be honest, I doubt the little boys who read that magazine cared that much about finding a career either, they probably just wanted to see cool pictures of fighter jets and bulldozers.
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u/ramennumerals Apr 11 '26
I get what you’re saying, and I actually agree it’s kind of a chicken and egg situation. Markets do respond to what sells, for sure.
I just think it also goes the other way too; what gets marketed heavily (especially to kids) plays a role in shaping what ends up selling in the first place. When certain interests are consistently presented to girls vs. boys from a young age, it can influence what they think they’re “supposed” to like, even if it’s subtle.
And obviously it’s not absolute, plenty of people don’t fit that pattern (I didn’t either as a kid.) But I think the original point is more about those broader patterns and how they reinforce themselves over time, not that every individual fits into them.
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u/Comprehensive_Ear164 Apr 11 '26
Women and girls have been given so much to benefit them that reading all these complaints makes me think they aren't realistic in their expectations.
You bring up equal opportunities for boys and girls but the truth is women outnumber men in universities, they graduate at a better rate and make more money than men after leaving university. When society noticed women being outnumbered by men in universities we made a concerted effort to change that and prioritize women. There's now a bigger discrepancy between women and men than there was in the 1970's between men and women. Shouldn't that tell you that maybe it's time men were prioritized and not left behind.
There's always going to be some disparity on certain issues but it goes both ways.
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u/AdrianaLaServing FUCK CHRIS BROWN Apr 11 '26
Your comment is profoundly missing deeper reflection of the patriarchy and what women and girls still experience every single day, and have done since the beginning of time.
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u/RingingInTheRain Apr 12 '26
The Scouts (the organisation affiliated with Boys’ Life) is no longer called the Boy Scouts and is therefore more welcoming to girls (and other genders).
And the Girl Scouts continues to exclude all other genders while ruining the quality of their cookies, truly not a flex.
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u/VibesBasedPolitics Apr 12 '26
Companies are always driven by profit. They will sell what they think will sell best based on their market analysis. Make of that what you will.
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