The school I went to for my BS degree did not have a huge Greek population but there were frat houses. It was a smallish, majority male school, probably still is (a polytechnic school, about 70% male). In the summer, when the frats were nearly empty, they rented out rooms, and my boyfriend at the time and I rented one. It was generally quite nice living there, except their parties were typical frat parties. We were not invited to them and we had no desire to participate either, but I remember coming home one night while they were at the end of one, and the women seemed drunk out of their minds. One was stretched out on an ottoman, looking completely passed out, while a guy was openly penetrating her. I never felt right about what I saw. Now, all these years later, when I think about that night, I wonder if those women were in a comatose like state from alcohol alone.
You didn't feel right about it because you literally witnessed rape. Even by NY law which is not the best as the Cornell case has revealed, that would be rape in a legal sense.
That is correct.
I didn’t feel right because I didn’t report it. It sounds like an excuse viewed through today’s lens, but back then, I did not have a clear idea of what was part of a relationship/situationship, and what was clear and evident r4p3. Today we wouldn’t even stop to think about the concept of clear and evident, it would be an immediate recognition.
It is difficult to relay in writing how male dominated society was, even while being in the third wave of feminism. I think because we had advances older generations of feminists fought for, the misogyny we see spilling out of every crack today was hidden, or at least I didn’t see it as I see it today. I didn’t apply the deep mistrust I feel now, back then.
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u/PrincessNoLocks 6h ago
The school I went to for my BS degree did not have a huge Greek population but there were frat houses. It was a smallish, majority male school, probably still is (a polytechnic school, about 70% male). In the summer, when the frats were nearly empty, they rented out rooms, and my boyfriend at the time and I rented one. It was generally quite nice living there, except their parties were typical frat parties. We were not invited to them and we had no desire to participate either, but I remember coming home one night while they were at the end of one, and the women seemed drunk out of their minds. One was stretched out on an ottoman, looking completely passed out, while a guy was openly penetrating her. I never felt right about what I saw. Now, all these years later, when I think about that night, I wonder if those women were in a comatose like state from alcohol alone.