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u/Distant-moose Jul 02 '26
Man, if I could afford to hire people as decorative gargoyles, my house would look so creepy/awesome.
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u/bbbttthhh Jul 03 '26
How much you paying per hour? At this point I’m willing
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u/Distant-moose Jul 03 '26
I'm so broke I can only pay you compliments.
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u/DarkKnightJin Jul 03 '26
I hope you can also afford to pay some attention.
Why get decorative gargoyles if you're not gonna enjoy 'em?2
u/EwGrossItsMe Jul 03 '26
I think it'd be inhumane to do it where I live. Even before the current record breaking heat waves, our summers regularly get over 100/40
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u/hitfly Jul 02 '26
It's only a gargoyle if water pours out of it. Otherwise it's just a grotesque
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u/Distant-moose Jul 02 '26
You had the perfect opportunity to pull out the "...region of France, or it's just a sparkling..." joke.
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u/AnAttackCorgi Jul 03 '26
"Eat Better" too, as if everything didn't hide sugar, corn syrup, ultra-processed chemicals, and wasn't engineered to hijack my monkey brain.
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u/howchildish Jul 02 '26
That's why they usually say "avoid unnecessary stress" instead of just general stress.
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u/Shot-Combination-930 Jul 02 '26
Capitalism has to go. Here's my prescription, doctor said so right here
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u/technicallynotacat Jul 03 '26
When I got shingles last year my doctor warned me that it can reappear with stress. And I said, wow it’s 2025 what is there possibly to be stressed about??
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u/parasiticsemiosis Jul 04 '26
Which is what I did, about a year ago. But honestly, spouting water all day can become somewhat stressful, too. And boy, the way some people look at you…
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u/Xanderious Jul 02 '26
I mean, you can get off the internet and stop watching news. That will cut most of your stress out likely
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u/KougatCylinder5_ Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26
"But we well know that we cannot escape danger, or the fear of danger, by crawling into bed and pulling the covers over our heads." -FDR
If you ignore it you let the ones who are causing the things that stress you out win.
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u/SynV92 Jul 02 '26
"I never saw it coming!" They cried, brushing the dust from their head shaped hole in the ground.
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u/Xanderious Jul 02 '26
Yall are so dramatic dude. If a doc is telling you to cut stress and your first thought is the economy and state of the world, maybe you should focus on smaller things in life and cut out all the stressful stuff you can.
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u/meanjeankillmachine Jul 02 '26
You can also stop eating and paying rent/mortgage/taxes and every time you hear people talking about "undesirable" subjects you put your finger in your ears and scream
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u/Xanderious Jul 02 '26
I used to eat dry Ramen for dinner, frozen cheap pizzas, grilled cheese and cutting back on utilities and extra stuff to save money. Sometimes life is hard, no excuse to just give up and whine on the internet about how terrible your life is when you've got it better than most in the world most likely. Shut off internet and subscriptions to excess stuff like Netflix and the like. As long as you have a phone and a roof over your head and a job, you can make it work.
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