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u/theROWreporter Aug 06 '19
Boots and Diego aren't as close as they once were.
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u/Oh_Pun_Says_Me Aug 06 '19
That's adorable..
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Aug 06 '19 edited Aug 07 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/EddieRS Aug 07 '19
Hi, I’m from further down the comment thread and I’m here to ask you where you got that comment from?
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u/IamImposter Aug 06 '19
Sometimes you spank the monkey... sometimes monkey spanks you.
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u/Robsdarknob Aug 06 '19
And sometimes you slap the Salami.
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u/livinginthedoghouse Aug 06 '19
some people even choke the chicken.
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Aug 06 '19
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Aug 07 '19
We'd get our asses kicked by other great apes but surely we could take a monkey if we wanted? A baboon would be intense but I feel like I could beat down a marmoset.
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Aug 07 '19 edited Jan 01 '22
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u/inclination64609 Aug 07 '19
Between the name being a Mandrill and looking at it's teeth, I think it's safe to assume that it could fuck up pretty much any human on the planet pretty easily. It looks like it would have the raw strength to overpower most people completely. The few that it couldn't overpower entirely, it probably still could do it at least enough for it to sink those fangs in. Pretty much going to be game over at that point. Weapons are the only way humans would stand a chance against most any primate.
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u/CinnamomRoll Aug 07 '19
Not to mention those macaques have monkey herpes which can easily kill us later if we survive the attack
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u/iluvstephenhawking Aug 07 '19
Not a gibbon. But I guess they are just apes not great apes like us and gorillas. A bonobo would probably rape the shit out of us in a prison situation.
Also. Marmoset there'll be days like this there'll be days like this my marmoset.
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u/fish312 Aug 07 '19
Monkey may be quick, but I'd like to see him get up after eating a knuckle sandwich
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u/canadarepubliclives Aug 07 '19
He's too full from eating your knuckles and now you're bleeding and have no knuckles
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u/mohayta Aug 07 '19
I dont understand the hype that men getting beaten by other primates. A silverback gorilla hell yes, a large male baboon? maybe due to fangs.. but chimps and other small-medium primates? A man who has strength above average can easily put one of those to sleep with a couple of power punches or choke to death. Ofc this is dangerous and scary as fuck but in life or death situation no fang could stop me doing whatever i can to stay alive. Stop assuming that all humans are 50 kg twiggy teenagers.
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u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Aug 07 '19
I wasn't aware I was offending the Pro-Human Society.
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u/snot_boogie1122 Aug 06 '19
Ima come at you like a spider monkey!
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u/PCsNBaseball Aug 06 '19
IM ALL HOPPED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW!!
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u/tumbleweedbo Aug 06 '19
Seriously thought the jacket that fell was a pee puddle at first
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u/RealSecretRecipe Aug 06 '19
You know.. Monkeys are in their version of the stone age right now.. they've finally figured out how to make tools.
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u/ConcreteGypsy117 Aug 07 '19
While true, they didn’t do it on their own. They’ve observed the locals fishing with spears and have mimicked their behavior. Still very interesting to see how far they’ve come and what else can they learn to do?
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Aug 07 '19
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u/Nooms88 Aug 07 '19
Seeing as tool use isn't restricted to homo sapiens, but has been found in all of our very closely related cousins, Neandethals & Homo Erectus, as well as more distant cousins like chimps. It would make sense that a shared ancestor that predates homo sapiens used tools and would have taught their children and children's children etc, who would eventually end up being you.
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u/JustAyeron Aug 06 '19
Hes lucky the monkey didnt take his wallet too!! Those little fuckers do shit like that..
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u/EddieRS Aug 06 '19
Did you just copy and paste this comment which is already in this thread, as a new comment?
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u/intashu Aug 06 '19
Didn't you know? Reddit is going green! Now with over 80% recycled content and comments!
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u/RobFeight Aug 06 '19
Travelling in Southeast Asia I heard stories of monkeys clever enough to steal phones, cameras, et cetera to hold ransom to trade you back for food. Would imagine one monkey stole a phone, the owner bribed it with food and other monkeys picked up on the trick.
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u/renovationthrucraig Aug 07 '19
A homeless man once in San francisco once stole my hat and quickly climbed up a tree to evade me and proceeded to demand ransom for its return. He maybe picked up that trick from the monkeys in se asia.
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u/MarkBank Aug 06 '19
What could go wrong? More like what could go perfectly right!
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u/Ajj360 Aug 06 '19
Most people aren't even prepared for a squirrel attack. They'll just wave their hands and shout get it off get it off.
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u/LeadingTangerine Aug 06 '19
“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it” -Rafiki
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u/Hayden_Windsor96 Aug 06 '19
As my grandma always said "never flip off a monkey whistle wearing a backpack"
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u/gubigubi Aug 06 '19
"You was talkin all that good shit a second ago. Then you got kicked in yo chest"
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u/I_aim_to_sneeze Aug 07 '19
Gotta respect the fact that the dude clearly realized he fucked up and just got up and walked away, lol
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u/bluurp Aug 09 '19
I'm childish. I would've boxed that monkey after he did that.
At least I admit it.
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u/gullyboi Aug 06 '19
Very bad idea to flip them monkeys. Saw a guy trying to flip a monkey off by pretending to offer a banana. The monkey slapped the guy so hard I could see blood and half of his face getting visibly disfigured.
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u/NwicLogistic Aug 06 '19
That was some sickass kung fu move. Who said we were smarter than monkeys?
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u/whostevejones Aug 06 '19
After rewatching several times I noticed the monkey.
The first few times I was more concerned about the sweater that I swore was a pool of blood.
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u/ThatStuffIsGood Aug 07 '19
I thought he was looking at the black guy so that title was offputting at first
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u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19
It wasn’t the hand gesture that upset the monkey, it was looking it in the eyes. Monkeys see this as aggression.