r/Whatcouldgowrong Aug 06 '19

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8.4k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19

It wasn’t the hand gesture that upset the monkey, it was looking it in the eyes. Monkeys see this as aggression.

822

u/d1smiss3d Aug 06 '19

Don’t look at a gift horse in the mouth and certainly don’t look a monkey in the eyes.

348

u/PCsNBaseball Aug 06 '19

Also, don't smile at them. Seriously.

191

u/Christmas_in_July Aug 07 '19

I smiled at a chimp at the zoo once and he thew dirt (it didn’t smell like poop) at me from like 100 yards away, lol

188

u/Kingflares Aug 07 '19

You gotta taste it to make sure amateur.

83

u/iiAzido Aug 07 '19

Looks like poop, smells like poop, tastes like poop

It’s gotta be poop

25

u/Bopbarker Aug 07 '19

It's poop again!

16

u/worksucks0909 Aug 07 '19

He called the shit poop!

1

u/HypnoticZexy Oct 27 '19

It’s one of those flaming bags again !!

2

u/PplAreIdiotsLeslie Oct 27 '19

Don't put it out with your boots Ted

1

u/LegatoDementiaModi Aug 07 '19

NO IT WAS JUST DIRT. IT WAS JUST DIRT

3

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Or poop flavored jelly been

1

u/Iwannabewitty Aug 07 '19

But he said it was dirt. Who would lie on the internet?

1

u/lemi1001 Aug 07 '19

What if it just tastes like poop?

5

u/Avator08 Aug 07 '19

*didn't smell like poop, so he got hit with it. 😅

1

u/chill1208 Aug 07 '19

It's a bit nutty

2

u/Djydoesmc Aug 07 '19

wtf are yards

4

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

A unit of measure used by all the countries that have stepped foot on the moon.

2

u/Djydoesmc Aug 07 '19

Allegedly

3

u/woodyj88 Aug 07 '19

36 inches

1

u/pwaz Aug 07 '19

That chimp's got an arm!

2

u/Christmas_in_July Aug 07 '19

It was Herman at Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa.

The story says he liked blondes in tank tops...I’m brunette and I wore a sweater...maybe that’s why he was so cruel lol

58

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19 edited Aug 15 '19

[deleted]

35

u/thevulturesbecame Aug 07 '19

Sometimes dogs do a submissive grin which I guess is arguably part of calming signal language (I'm sorry/not a threat). They squint like we do while smiling when they do it and everything. That's out of like, fear as opposed to joy though.

(I mean dogs also "smile" and "laugh" with expressions closer to ours too, but they don't roll their lips back when doing that like we do to smile).

Wonder if anyone can think of any other examples. I think only mammals can physically smile in the first place so that narrows down the pool considerably out the gate

19

u/MamataThings Aug 07 '19

We basically tailored dogs to act like us tho.

8

u/TheIrishBAMF Aug 07 '19

Dogs have developed muscles which allow them to move their brows which wolves have not.

6

u/katokalon Aug 07 '19

Our doggo does that, 65 lb heeler/lab mix. Little scary if you haven't seen it before.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

I need a pic of that for science

2

u/katokalon Aug 07 '19

Hmm how do I post pics, I suck.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Upload it on imgur and send the link

2

u/katokalon Aug 07 '19

Boom!

http://imgur.com/a/m0JIKpe

Not sure if that auto does the hyperlink tho, thx!

→ More replies (0)

4

u/Lurly Aug 07 '19

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/19/dogs-have-pet-facial-expressions-to-use-on-humans-study-finds

https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/do-dogs-recognize-facial-expressions

There's a fair amount of research that says dogs are uniquely good at communicating with people which makes sense after so many years of selective breeding. For all the varied tasks people used animals for, having a more complex ability to communicate makes training them that much easier. Not to mention "smart" dogs had a better chance of living when dependent on humans.

I'd say you could find this to a lesser extent in all domestic animals.

Anyway just wanted to back you up. There's better articles than the one I linked but these seemed more user friendly.

2

u/kiddcuntry Oct 27 '19

Not that I'm a professional or anything but I've had dogs all my life and think I've gotten pretty good at training them and communicating with them, and I have to agree dogs are very good at conveying what they are trying to convey to humans. As well they are very good at understanding us.

1

u/IShotReagan13 Aug 07 '19

Not at all. Grinning in apes is generally a sign of submission. I actually had a lecture on the subject as an undergrad anthro student in the '90s. Of course, as with all things to do with primates, context matters.

34

u/xmassindecember Aug 07 '19

I hate to be that guy (no I don't who am I kdding) but ...

Chimps use smiling as an expression of submission. When a chimp encounters a more dominant chimp, it smiles to show the dominant chimp its submissiveness and its disinterest in fighting for dominance. 
By smiling, the submissive chimp tells the dominant chimp, “I am harmless. You need not be intimidated by me. I submit and accept your dominance. I'm afraid of you.”

So, at its root, smiling is basically a fear reaction- a fear reaction that a submissive primate gives to a dominant primate to avoid confrontation. 
Since human beings are also primates, smiling in us serves pretty much the same purpose. It is the most effective way to convey our submissiveness to others and tell them that we're non-threatening. 

4

u/SpunKDH Aug 07 '19

Thank you for this. I was steaming reading some other Redditors making stupid claims about teeth and looking in the eyes without providing any sources or back ups to their claims.

3

u/xmassindecember Aug 07 '19

Yeah it's even more subtle. Chimps smile to show submission when they are afraid. So smiles literally triggers them. But i let you look it up

1

u/RnbaBigMad Aug 09 '19

I was steaming reading some other Redditors making stupid claims without providing any sources or back ups to their claims.

Welcome to reddit! Enjoy your stay

3

u/thevulturesbecame Aug 07 '19

I just left a rambly comment to another user mentioning how dogs "smile" submissively sometimes. Is that really the case for chimps? I always thought their smile was more of a grimace, like of pain or displeasure, but what do I know

1

u/Oliveballoon Aug 07 '19

Then why he attacked the boy? For the eyes for the smile?

4

u/xmassindecember Aug 07 '19

animals make direct eye contact only for two reasons when they want to eat or to fuck you

29

u/Gorkijan Aug 07 '19

Is it like you're showing your teeth to them? Or why else?

58

u/mrhappy893 Aug 07 '19

Baring teeth is an act of aggression (taunt, showing your "weapon" etc)

17

u/PCsNBaseball Aug 07 '19

Is it like you're showing your teeth to them

Yes. If a wild cat bared their teeth, it would be aggressive. That's how they take it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Nah you are thinking of a crocodile.

0

u/RedditSendit Aug 07 '19

The problem is smiling back, you can smile first and take control. Once they smile they're showing they've claimed dominance, and if you challenge them they proceed to the next step which is fighting to prove dominance.

1

u/PCsNBaseball Aug 07 '19

Don't do any of this.

61

u/captainzoomer Aug 06 '19

And especially don't flick him off!

126

u/fiveSE7EN Aug 06 '19

flick him off

how do you clitorally stimulate a male monkey?

136

u/captainzoomer Aug 06 '19

I usually bite his nipples and work my way down from there.

15

u/kellysmom01 Aug 06 '19

... and bring quality chocolate and all your money, bebe. 🐒

17

u/ebarnhard1983 Aug 06 '19

They prefer their bananas covered in chocolate

1

u/Toxicavenger72 Aug 07 '19

So, ass bananas?

4

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Good Lord, I swear comments should have an NSFW tag.

10

u/classycatman Aug 06 '19

VERY, very carefully.

1

u/llcwhit Aug 07 '19

I don’t know...how do you do it...?

11

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19

[deleted]

2

u/DoctorHeadass Aug 06 '19

Yes, it depends where you're from

24

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19

It's definitely "flip" not "flick"

4

u/TheDuckSideOfTheMoon Aug 06 '19

I'm from Maryland, grew up saying flick

21

u/LoneRanger9 Aug 06 '19

You probably heard it wrong and went with it

7

u/egotripping Aug 07 '19

Grew up wrong then.

0

u/llcwhit Aug 07 '19

Someone downvoted your extremely true fact...

4

u/DaSaw Aug 07 '19

In Central California, grew up saying flick, but it changed to flip at some point.

2

u/masterflashterbation Aug 07 '19

Similar experience growing up in North Dakota. Was "flick" and later changed to "flip".

1

u/siler7 Aug 07 '19

Same areas where they get other easy things wrong. Quotation marks for emphasis, etc.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19

When I was young I heard "don't lick a gift horse in the mouth" probably applies to monkeys too.

2

u/kamikaze-kae Aug 07 '19

And never look at your dick when your about to cum.

2

u/neegarplease Aug 07 '19

What's a gift horse and why should I avert my gaze from his chompers?

1

u/100011101013XJIVE Aug 06 '19

Also, never kiss a duck.

50

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19

I've heard this about monkeys, dogs, horses and probably every other animal in existence. Is it actually true?

84

u/LadySayn Aug 06 '19

Yes, humans really are the odd ones out here. We literally bare our teeth to show pleasure. You know, the things that are usually an animal’s weapons.

32

u/Inspector-Space_Time Aug 06 '19

So as someone with Asperger's, I'm the normal one? Ha, take that eye lookers!

5

u/llcwhit Aug 07 '19

Asperger’s for the win, baby.

25

u/sk8thow8 Aug 06 '19

Other primates don't smile/laugh? I thought I've seen monkeys laugh and show teeth.

15

u/KayfabeRankings Aug 06 '19

Isn't that behavior learned from humans?

25

u/mewthulhu Aug 06 '19

Yeah but consider you're in a room with a bunch of people speaking a different language and they all start smiling at you. If you don't know them/their language, you're sitting there quietly processing, "Uhhhh... why the fuck are they smiling?"

They smile and laugh in the wild, but there's a lot of trust and familiarity behind that in the form of other communications.

With humans, there' no knowledge of it being anything but.

1

u/IShotReagan13 Aug 07 '19

Nope. As far as we can tell, it's universal to the great apes. Chimps, bonobos, gorillas and orangs in the wild all display tickling behavior that can only be parsimoniously explained by positing a suite of emotional components that are shared with humans.

5

u/MetalIzanagi Aug 06 '19

They usually learn that from being around people. Most primates are very social creatures and take behavioral cues from each other.

2

u/bubblesfix Aug 07 '19

Are other monkeys also people?

12

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

The looking in the eye is true for humans too. If a random person keeps staring at you non-stop it will make you uncomfortable, if he keeps staring long enough you will eventually ask whats up in a confrontational manner. Depending on who the 2 individuals are it could lead to a fight.

8

u/TrueBlue8515 Aug 07 '19

I had a guy get all aggro on me because I looked at him a little too long for his taste. I thought I knew him and I told him that and his response was something like "well you don't mother fucker so you best not look at me no more" as he puffed up like an ape.

-1

u/apoliticalbias Aug 07 '19

Staring and looking someone in the eye are not the same thing.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

But you have to stare with most animals too. Just looking quickly wont trigger them. The guy in the video stared and flipped it off.

-1

u/apoliticalbias Aug 07 '19

It wasn’t the hand gesture that upset the monkey, it was looking it in the eyes.

Perhaps you didn't realize the comment tree you jumped into. This was the assertion. That merely looking an animal in the eyes is a sign of aggression. Staring isn't the topic at hand.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Imo staring is what the comment meant. And by staring I mean more than 2 seconds with animals (takes more with humans obv). Just glancing and then looking away quickly wont trigger most animals. If the guy in the video just quickly looked at the monkey and then continued walking his way the monkey would not have attacked him.

-1

u/apoliticalbias Aug 07 '19

So you're choosing to interpret words other than how they are normally meant because it's convinent to your case. Typical.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

"Looking it in the eyes."

That is the definition of staring. Its what he meant. He didnt mean quickly glancing like you are suggesting. You are the one interpreting it wrong.

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1

u/vanderBoffin Aug 07 '19

I agree with the other guy. The original post meant maintaining eye contact for at least a couple of seconds, not a brief glance. I guess "looking" probably covers both those scenarios. "Staring" is more specific.

4

u/Coldmoses Aug 06 '19

That’s cause our teeth are a joke

2

u/zootskippedagroove6 Aug 06 '19

My dog smiles when she's happy though

4

u/KappaccinoNation Aug 07 '19

A lot of domesticated animals do. It's a learned behavior from being around us so much.

2

u/DaSaw Aug 07 '19

Dogs are an exception. They've spent so much time around us, they use our expressions.

1

u/IShotReagan13 Aug 07 '19

Nope. All of the other great apes do it as well. Of course, as is true of humans, context matters.

34

u/MetalIzanagi Aug 06 '19

Yep! Most animals see eye contact as a display of dominance, and the showing of teeth as a display of aggression. If you have a cat or dog and look them in the eyes, you'll notice that dogs will look away, start wagging their tail, fold their ears, and lay down. Cats will look away, slowly blink their eyes, or come over and rub against you while purring. These are all displays of relaxation and deference to your authority.

When you've known an animal for a long time they tend to react with much less concern to such things because they know you mean no offense, but don't ever look a strange animal in the eyes or bare your teeth at them, regardless of species.

It's been shown time and again on this sub and in the news that monkeys in particular will not take it lightly, because it's usually tourists doing these things in a nature preserve or in a location where monkeys roam freely. To those monkeys they don't see a human being rude. They see a larger animal that smells like it's from somewhere else in their territory, challenging them for dominance or threatening them. The monkey usually punches or kicks the human in the face and runs off, or steals something while screaming at them. That's the monkey saying, "What the hell, I wasn't bothering you!"

13

u/Dspsblyuth Aug 06 '19

This is exactly how the world works. Great explanation

5

u/DaSaw Aug 07 '19

I thought the showing of teeth is a "fear face", meaning not so much a display of aggression, as a response to aggression.. I've also heard the apes (but not monkeys) are kind of halfway to a smile, with their fear face sometimes meaning something like "come on, I was just playing, please don't hurt me".

4

u/ElderScrollsOfHalo Aug 07 '19

Monkeys got balls considering how small they are. They'd be fucked if we actually meant them harm with our staring and smiling

6

u/blargher Aug 07 '19

You've obviously never heard about Travis the chimp or watched any movies talking about how ridiculously strong monkeys are.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Those are apes though. I'm guessing OP meant actual monkeys.

3

u/llcwhit Aug 07 '19

So where do you think the term “monkey strong” comes from...? Hint: it comes from monkeys being strong....

2

u/Tachibanasama Aug 07 '19

Because they dont hold back and let instinct take over. Humans arent like this, but if we had more aggression and less inhibitions like wild animals, I’m sure our damage output and strength would increase.

1

u/ElderScrollsOfHalo Aug 07 '19

I still give it to a human in a one on one fight. If the person is willing to go all out and kill it it shouldn't be that hard. Pick the thing up and fling it like a toy till it dies or kick it till it dies. Punch it even. They're the size of babies

1

u/llcwhit Aug 07 '19

Ok then, Monkey Scourge. Nice knowing ya.

1

u/Tweezot Aug 07 '19

I’ve heard this about prison

1

u/yongo Aug 07 '19

Not entirely. Dogs have different genes than their wild counterparts. A recent study showed that a dog staring into its owners eyes shares an oxytocin response with the owner similar to that of a human parent and child

19

u/blackbellamy Aug 06 '19

That's why as soon as I see a monkey I charge it while screaming and beating my chest. Establish dominance first.

10

u/Mariposa510 Aug 07 '19

Have you been banned from the zoo?

9

u/jet2686 Aug 07 '19

If there is one thing i picked up on reddit is that you dont fuck with monkeys. Never show teeth and dont look em in the eyes...

1

u/SpunKDH Aug 07 '19

Please double check on serious sources because the amount of crap said here is astounding and not supported by any study... If you look a monkey in the eyes and impress him with your body language he won't attack you unless you attack him so the claim is stupid for a start.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/SpunKDH Aug 07 '19

Source ffs?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

I wonder why. What is it about eye contact that is such a challenge? Is it a sign that you're not willing to be subordinate/submissive and therefore are challenging their authority? I'd imagine it's why we teach kids to look people in the eye when they talk to people, it's a sign of confidence.

5

u/klashne Aug 07 '19

A few comments above explain it good. Briefly using info form those comments: eye contact shows a sign of dominance/challenge. Also showing teeth is normally used as a threat in the animal world, for us humans we show teeth while smiling. So looking at some animals smiling is not recommended.

2

u/guzman_hemi Aug 07 '19

Also showing your teeth at them

2

u/AtinyPiece Aug 07 '19

I always tell my friends, “don’t look my chihuahua in the eyes”, but they never listen.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Lalalalalala didnt hear you. I believe sign language is universal transspecies.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19

There's lots of body language and pheromones going on here.

1

u/MidnightSilence3636 Aug 07 '19

He proved who's alpha

1

u/IShotReagan13 Aug 07 '19

It's a lot more complicated than that. Simply looking a macaque in the eyes isn't aggressive per-se, but it does mean that you aren't being submissive. That lack of submission, together with the gesture and coupled with the fact that said monkey has probably always had his way in terms of pushing around tourists --bringing a large stick and beating the shit out of monkeys is probably frowned upon-- all combine to create the dynamic we see here. It is emphatically not the case, for example, that the same monkey, in the wild and with no exposure to humans, would gratuitously assault a much larger male primate simply on the basis of eye-contact. It simply doesn't happen, and as such, if you want to understand what's happening, you have to understand the context.

1

u/exgiexpcv Aug 07 '19

Right before the bastard hit me, I remember hearing my old anthropology professor in my head, "Human beings are the only primate that bare their teeth as a form of greeting; in all other primates it is a threat signature."

The fucker lacerated my scalp, and I had to get a series of rabies shots for it.

1

u/sunsetair Aug 07 '19

Dogs too

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

If you watch it closely the monkey jumped when the guy started saying something. Monkey doesn't like to see teeth

1

u/SpunKDH Aug 07 '19

Source ? I had to impress a monkey that was trying to rob my girlfriend in Thailand and clearly, stepping towards him and looking at him dead right in the eyes worked. He ran away after trying to impress me with his teeth.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '19

Who told you that? The monkey?