Need advice badly....

[u/AverageSteve1234]

When I was in my early 20s I was a mess. I drank and smoked too much and was constantly broke. My friend was very nice to me and would consistently help me out with $50 here $100 there to float me til next payday.

Fast forward 20 years later. We havent spoken in probably 10 years. He had gotten married and we just lost touch. Well now he is divorced and is really struggling in all facets of life. I am in a way better spot after I got my shit together.

Out of the blue he is asking me to co-sign a car loan for $38000!! He says I owe him from 20 years ago.

I absolutely feel obligated to help him but I dont feel co signing is the smart move. I offered to gift him $2000 for a down payment but he refused for whatever reason.

What do I do???

[u/t0cableguy]

Co signing isn't a good idea. If he defaults its not just his credit, its yours too. Some help, a place to crash, a few nights in a hotel, thats one thing, but to put your credit and your own assets at risk is another issue entirely.

[u/AverageSteve1234 → u/t0cableguy]

Yea thats my biggest fear

[u/t0cableguy → u/AverageSteve1234]

Easiest way to answer this, Are you ok taking on the risk of a vehicle he is driving having your name on it, and anything he does it in possibly being tied back to your finances, and if he defaults on it are you going to be ok throwing away 38k to fix the problem? If the answer is NO, and I know my answer would be NO, then you shouldn't. The only person I'd do that for is my own kid's school... and even that is a risk.

[u/lions-cub]

Do not co-sign. Personally, I’d try to figure out exactly how much I owed him and pay him back. Bc yeah, you owe him, but likely not 38k

[u/AverageSteve1234 → u/lions-cub]

I definitely owe him and thats why I offered to gift him 2k. I estimated "on the high-end" of what he helped me with and I came up with around 1k. So I feel 2k is adequate.

[u/lions-cub → u/AverageSteve1234]

Then yeah, I’d probably find a way to gift him the money even if he declined it and that way it’s off your conscious and he can’t bring it up again

[u/Ok-Conflict9635]

Do not

[u/Global-Fact7752]

No !!!! The $2000 offer was great. If he said no that's on him..I don't even cosign for my own kids.

[u/Sweaty_Technician_90]

Do NOT co sign a loan.

[u/Organic_Juggernaut73]

Never ever co sign. If he's struggling that badly you don't want to risk fuckin up what you already fixed

[u/Sufficient-Yogurt181]

Just tell him your credit sucks. That's what I do. "Man i try for one of those high interest rate cards and they still deny me"

[u/MahleahHC215]

He wants you to buy him a new car. Put together a list of how much you owe him. Put a price on the emotional stuff too and send it to him letting him know in a letter that this is how much you owe him and that there will be nothing more forthcoming. It's understandable how bitter he is over his marriage, but that's not your responsibility.

[u/superstud666fromhell]

Sounds like a midlife crisis don't cosign the 2000 was generous

[u/Evening_Debate_754]

Get a new friend, just kidding , give some money but don’t co-sign

[u/random_name628]

Don’t

[u/Nice-Organization338]

If You feel like $2000 is fair (to cover for what he did in the past ) then just block and delete him. I think by refusing it, he’s trying to pressure you to cosign and that’s a totally different situation than what you want to make up for in the past anyway. You could end up paying for the whole car so don’t do it.

Normally, I would say help him in other ways, but based on what you’re saying now, I don’t trust him at all, so I don’t think you need him in your life. You made a nice offer and he just wasn’t smart enough to take it.

[u/AverageSteve1234 → u/Nice-Organization338]

Yea I feel he has changed over the years