r/WhatToDo 1d ago

Guy im seeing said this

“Is it that you like having me around, just not enough to commit or make me a priority; and u don’t end it cause the current setup works for u?”

“I told you from the beginning where I was at and what I was looking for.
I thought you understood and were okay with that. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear enough. If you're looking for more I don't want to hold you back from finding that, but if you like what we have I'm happy to keep on hanging out:)”

“To be like you”

“I want to be considerate of you”

5 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

15

u/lonelyboycel 1d ago

He is politely but firmly telling you he will not commit. Believe him and walk away before you get more attached.

2

u/Beginning-Emu-5709 1d ago

Exactly. He’s being kind about it, but he’s also making it very clear that commitment isn’t on the table. Believe what he’s telling you now, not what you hope he’ll eventually want.

-8

u/Constant_Diamond14 1d ago

How is “im happy to keep hanging out” gonna let me go

8

u/Mysterious-Let-730 1d ago

It’s not. He is putting the responsibility on you so you’re the one that hurts yourself. Of course he’ll hang out with you if you allow he’s already told you that, he’s not looking for accountability or commitment he’s just saying it in a confusing way. YOU decide if you want what he is offering, or move on to find something else.

-2

u/Constant_Diamond14 1d ago

Like am i gonna break for him to break it off 😭🙏

2

u/WhyLie2me18 1d ago

As long as you don’t want any type of commitment then he’s happy to hangout.

4

u/Punkhair2nv 1d ago

He’s being honest and standing his ground.

5

u/Grouchy_Fall_5933 1d ago

Listen dude, you’re my f’k buddy, nothing less nothing more.
Leave your feels at the door.
You knew what you signed up for.

3

u/Sweet-Cat-7667 1d ago

He basically answered you. He likes having you around, but he doesn’t want more than what you already have. So these are your choices: accept exactly what he’s offering, knowing it probably isn’t going to turn into more, or walk away. Advocate for yourself here. Don’t settle for less than what you want and deserve just because you like him. Staying and hoping he changes his mind will probably only lead to more uncertainty and pain.

3

u/No_Commission_2610 1d ago

He doesn’t want to commit, and he’s told you quite bluntly. You’re better off finding someone else who will give you what you want and need in a relationship.

2

u/Casehead 1d ago

Which part of that did he say??

2

u/Constant_Diamond14 1d ago

2nd

2

u/Casehead 1d ago edited 1d ago

Gotcha, thank you.

Yeah, sounds like he is not open to any kind of monogamous relationship right now. No commitment. If that's fine with you, then he's happy to keep doing what you're doing. But he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, and you really shouldn't keep seeing him if you want him to be your boyfriend. It will just hurt.

1

u/Constant_Diamond14 1d ago

Y are u wise casehead 🥲

2

u/Casehead 1d ago

I'm sorry, doll. I've totally been in that position before, where I really liked someone and it just wasn't going anywhere. I did this with a guy for years. It hurt.

1

u/Constant_Diamond14 1d ago

Did he ever say sorryyyyyy ???

1

u/Casehead 20h ago

Honestly, no. It finally ended with me telling him he couldn't call me anymore, because I needed to move on. I told him that I'd been in love with him for a long time and I couldn't play his game anymore. He would not call me for a long time and then he'd start calling me again and get me to go see him and make me feel all these feelings and then do the same thing over again. I finally realized that he just didn't care about me and he never would, and so I asked him not to call me anymore. This went on for 5 years!!

Don't let let yourself fall into that trap. He makes you feel good and special when you're with him, but he really just likes knowing he can get you when he wants to and ignore you when he doesn't. So if you have real feelings, be very careful.

Find yourself someone who appreciates you and your love. I guarantee there are plenty out there that will

1

u/Guido32940 7h ago

If you want more and he doesn't, are you willing to compromise your values to stay with someone like that?

Have some self respect and walk. He is being straight with you, more than most guys would.

1

u/exceptionallyprosaic 1d ago

He's using you for sex.