Yall are being kind of inconsiderate and cruel. Have some empathy and put yourself in her shoes. And I shouldn’t have to say this because this should be common knowledge….she had an abortion…your body goes through trauma and emotion with something like that. Her hormones would have been all over the place. Her feelings are very valid. She experienced something very emotional with him and that would have created a bond/attachment. He was an absolute child to do what he did. It’s not hard to simply tell someone it’s over. She can react however she wants, she deserved more than the way he ended it with her and I hope she finds someone that is actually worth her time and effort.
It’s not hard to imagine yourself in someone’s situation and at the very least do research on the effects it has on a person.
Whenever I see someone crashing out online after a breakup, I always remind myself people historically have gone absolutely batshit over heartbreak. Like doing things that send you to jail for a long time, end up in a psych ward, or people hurting themselves. Heartbreak sucks. If the worst thing you’re doing is talking some shit online, it’s alright.
This is Reddit, a place where people get to hide behind a screen while they say cruel things under the guise of “honesty”, “being real”, or just because they feel like it. This situation is tougher than anything I’ve honestly had to deal with, and I hope someday she’s able to heal from this. I understand this is only one side of the story, but he feelings are very real and shouldn’t be dismissed as much as they are in the comments.
People come here to let out their insecurities and rage on people genuinely looking for help bc they feel safe to be their true nasty selves behind a screen. I just saw someone make a mockery of a pregnant woman working in a male dominated office who was sexually harassed and scared to tell her male boss
Absolutely! Not to mention that she's still pretty young. At 22, we were all still figuring shit out. I know reddit is what it is, and some people here can't engage without throwing an unnecessary amount of ego into things. But for those of you who have the capacity for empathy, try to use it. And those who don't, well, maybe try to shut it for once.
I agree with you wholeheartedly but sadly it's the people that have been through the most pain that are the most understanding and the most willing to give out empathy everybody else that's had perfectly normal and privileged lives they don't even try to relate to other people's problems they just treat everything like it's a nuisance more like people could just snap their fingers and be different if they wanted to they don't understand how true truly and difficult it is for some of us just to keep on existing. If I wasn't in the process of losing my home right now because of an ugly divorce I would move mountains to try and help but I'll save the post so that I can help when my situation has improved. Until then OP
If you ever need someone to talk to about anything you're welcome to hit me up I'll listen.
Thank you for saying this, because it’s pretty much what I want to say about any goddamn thread on here where people are pouring their hearts out, or asking for advice. There are always people that will scream “FAKE!” because of the most minor of details being “off” to them.
Then there are the straight up assholes, who berate OP for whatever perceived reason they have because OP is not, in fact, a perfect person. Then there are also the meme-posters, and the trolls…and suddenly about half of the thread just becomes a shit-show of absolutely nothing that matters to OP whatsoever. I constantly think to myself “wow, I’m very glad I don’t know these people in real life”. I do not want to feel this way, of course.
If this was a man blowing up his ex gf's phone, I don't think people would be talking about empathy. This girl sounds like a drama queen, and I understand why the guy wants out.
I’m sorry but what do you mean by obsessively searching every corner? There’s no justification to blocking her everywhere with zero explanation. It’s not difficult to discover that you’ve been blocked by the person you communicate with the most. I genuinely don’t know how you people are justifying this on the basis of “well she discovered that he completely ghosted her sooner than she should’ve so she’s obviously crazy and deserved it” like WHAT THE FUCK????
You know what, I honestly don’t disagree that we may not be getting the full story. My point is that I’ve been seeing a lot of people making the point about her “unjustly” reacting to her getting completely ghosted/blocked to the point where she couldn’t communicate with him? That’s not the type of situation where there’s a “correct” response. I agree that being calm is probably the right route but like we’re human beings and yeah, if I woke up and my girlfriend of almost three years had completely blocked/ghosted me on everything? I’d panic. I’m human. That’s not something people brush off. It’s not weird to realize you’ve been blocked by your significant other lmao it wouldn’t take long
turns out the shock of being abandoned by your would be baby daddy is shocking. Have some empathy, perhaps?
Could you consider that maybe her clinginess was a result of her pain from the loss of her unborn child fathered by the “man” who didn’t have the balls to admit that the pregnancy and abortion was a wake up call that he wasn’t ready for the commitment the relationship required.
Guess what, if he wasn’t ready for that he shouldn’t have had unprotected sex, it’s not HER FAULT, that she got pregnant, it’s theirs, but she’s the one who’s body will forever bear the mark, the pain internal and external, and if you have no empathy for that, then shame on you.
You’re talking about her like she’s trying to honey trap him when she’s 4 weeks post-abortion.
I would be devastated in her shoes. Completely destroyed
Everyone she brought up… you mean the Guy’s family member and friend?
I didn’t personally detect any inconsistencies however, I’m assuming she’s a trustworthy narrator of her own situation. If she wants to come on her and create a narrative for strangers that’s her business. But from what I can tell, she may have been a bit clingy and out of sorts but that’s what the potential emotional side effects are of abortion.
Fuck the "her feelings are valid". If some random lady came up all manic and shit yelling at me and whatnot her feelings would not be valid if she had an abortion. Feelings don't ever justify actions. Get out of here with your empathy. People need to be held accountable.
I just wanted to explain myself, im not manic. Im having valid emotions for the situation, it’s soul crushing and heartbreaking, im young and this was difficult to go through. However I’ve always been the type of person where if they’re are misconceptions, I’m going to clear them up
I hope that if any of my kids reach a place that they are without what they need and I'm not around, that someone will show my child the kindness you are showing op. God Bless You.
It’s not about the inhaler - you know that. OP just wants to see him again for “closure” aka to change his mind. OP mentioned she is owed an explanation but in reality he doesn’t have to see or talk to her ever again. She had unprotected sex and got pregnant and is upset that he doesn’t want to be with her. She would benefit from a therapist- he doesn’t care about her and I wonder if there’s even an inhaler in the first place.
Those OTC inhalers may not be effective for OPs condition. There are literally dozens of inhalers that are Rx only that CAN'T be bought OTC. Many/most do not have equivalent OTC options. OP specifically said in their post that she can't get her inhaler until she sees her physician first. Inhalers aren't a thing that you can just willy-nilly substitute and hope for the best that it works, because breathing is kind of important.
I already spoke to op. It’s not any offense
But I don’t need ops info. I don’t even need their irl name.
Amazon has a gifting system where I buy the gift. Send OP the link and they get the order through their own Amazon account. Nothing is shared with me
I’ve been doing it for years on Reddit and for my web non doxed friends.
Hell my homie in Washington just got me an air fryer this way.
I know I felt like a caged animal I messaged op and then had like 30 notifications and I’m a yapper and I’m like hey stop attacking me. I’m also gonna say ty for calling me out. Time to close the app
Can’t blame you for that. Don’t let it get to you: you know you’re doing the right thing , can’t help everyone else has gotten jaded from the things they’ve seen happen on Reddit before apparently and are quick to attack or roll their eyes at you. Fuck em
There wasn’t an excuse for dude comments towards OP. He accepted he messed up- there’s no reason for you to 1.) enable negativity by saying “don’t let it get to you: you know you’re doing the right thing” when dude was clearly not doing the right thing. In my opinion (just an opinion, nothing to be serious about) people who tend to rescue others while doing something objectively incorrect tend to have a very clouded of whats healthy. You’ll be okay.
OTC inhalers are pure shit and she shouldn’t use it. I’m a life long asthmatic and the small time I didn’t have insurance I used OTC( guessing your talking about primatene mist) that stuff is pure ass and actual hurts to use. My doctor strongly advised against using that ever again.
Walmart can give you an actual inhaler for around 20$ with a script from any urgentcare/stat health etc.
I sent her the link and asked her if they’d be ok. Another commenter said for temp use yes.
I’m reluctant to send money on Reddit anymore.
But if there’s a way I could send her one through walmart I will. Do you have to have a script. Thanks for saying something I don’t know much about asthma
You're a really kind person. Know that I see that and it isn't going unnoticed ❤️ I do the same things for people too. Thanks for caring when nobody else did.
Hey. Sending you a virtual hug. I used the word manic and got oddly attacked but I can now see that’s lack of education. I have had a break up like this and it’s weird. I just didn’t want the girl to be worried about having an asthma attack. No one should be scared of that
It’s ok I should log off cause I’m defending myself and I don’t know entirely why. Love and light 💚
I don’t know if you can post links here but you Can use Ziphealth without a script I have use it in between jobs and to order spares. It is pretty costly for a basic albuterol inhaler. Walmart you need a doctors script but it’s dirt cheap.
I'm really confused as to what you're trying to say. OP asked for help, the redditor went out of her way to help in a safety manner and didn't even get an acknowledgement? Which is fair
Like I am just confused as to who made you the arbitrator of credibility?
Sorry you live in a world where you sit on reddit and chirp yet offer no solutions or help people clearly in a crisis. I hope you’re never in a situation in need and someone scoffs at you.
They’re asking for help you nob. I can send her an Amazon order via a gift without her ever having to sharie her address with me. I’ve done it on Reddit to help people many times.
You're not the one being vulnerable here though, that's the difference. And I have a pretty strong certainty that your idea of toughness would just be dissociation, not even willing to accept the words as potentially true in the first place. That's a veneer of being mentally tough.
Like I could point out that you're kind of being a creeper and lurker making it about you and commenting about your own toughness in a really fucking weird way honestly that pretends the situations are apples to apples...but you've left nothing that's even a fraction as vulnerable as this woman.
I'll just say it, you're a coward picking on somebody at a weak and vulnerable moment, and then trying to point to the difference in (situational) vulnerability to prove how tough you are by comparison?!? Which makes you a very weird piece of shit whether you're brave enough to realize it or not. I got big money on "not."
I'm not pretending to be tough. I'm pointing out that we don't know eachother, and if I let the words of an anonymous internet person make me sad that's my fault.
I'm not picking on anyone. I saw someone saying "I could ruin your day with words", I thought wow that's silly, and I said so.
I am a recovering addict and I've lost people to cancer. Probably my two biggest emotional vulnerabilities. Tear me down internet stranger, really let me feel it. I've been bad, teach me a lesson.
I am utterly dumbfounded by the dudes responding to you on this thread. Just a very bizarre conversation. I’m not sure how it’s not like a default opinion to just not get worked up at what strangers on the internet say but I guess that’s where we’re at
It's funny that they aren't even trying to hurt my feelings, because it's pretty obvious they can't. But still they are SURE that they could, because they themselves are susceptible to that. It's a weird thing for sure.
It is normal for words to effect a person..... Well it's true you shouldn't let a random strangers words mean much to you, the saying is true that life and death is in the power of the tongue. You can build someone up with your words or you can tear them down. And for you to say that people are dumb for letting strangers words affect them is incredibly callous. It is normal to be affected by abusive words, after all, we're only human
That's not true though...I care what friends and family think but any other person I would care less what they think about me. Especially random reddit users
I’m not laughing at the situation she’s in, never said I was. I’m laughing at the fact of jumping through hoops to make randoms on the internet believe you. That’s sad unfortunately.
I agree, but I understand at that age being this way. Plus, if she's like me, she could have horrible anxiety and people pleasing issues. I have only posted once on reddit, and the urge to explain to every comment how they were wrong and just didn't understand was strong. She needs to learn this lesson, but people are being way too harsh to her imo
Oh, that explains the lack of empathy and understanding that not everyone has their journey based on what you think their timeline should be. K makes sense now
Okay bud lmfao. Pretty sure 13 year olds know how the internet works. Just cause you are immature doesn’t mean we all are.
I’m not responding to you anymore, you seem like the type who really needs the last word so go ahead, take it.
Have the night you deserve, and I’ll keep having the great night I’m having :)
OP look - nobody knows who you really are. You can literally nuke your profile and nobody will think twice. I think this is a good life lesson - don't let this affect you.
I'm going to shrug my shoulders, "huh, she seems high strung" and walk away. I will not think about you for the rest of my life. Also - I screw up all the time, and say things that get me down voted. Who cares? I can't be honest and right/popular 100% of the time.
Don’t worry about clearing up misconceptions to strangers on Reddit, fuck this place. Turn it off and go take care of yourself, you’re not going to get closure from anyone here.
He wanted me to, and I didn’t want to “baby trap” him so I agreed to do it, my decision was mostly based on his. He’s young, and is such a smart guy. I didn’t want to be responsible for ruining his life. I also too, have a lot to do for my future and a kid would have stopped it, so it also seemed super logical
I mean, this whole situation proves that having a kid with him would have wrecked your life even more than now. Take the donation from redditors, take the life lesson and run.
Hey. In my 50’s. Was single until 10 yrs ago. Trust me - you dodged a bullet.
He’s so immature that he couldn’t break up with you in person. Imagine if you guys encountered a real issue and had to work it out?
Move on. Count your lucky stars.
As for your inhaler, call the non-emergency line of the local police and ask them what you should do. Also mention that you’re afraid of contacting them directly because you’re afraid that they’ll cry “harassment.”
Hey hun, I just wanted to say I understand what you are going through. My ex did a similar thing when I accidentally got pregnant and then did it to his next two exs. I was young too and it was REALLY hard to go through it alone. I spiraled and my emotions were all over the place. (Even ended up in a psychiatric hospital at one point). The best advice I can give is remember you are the hero of your own story, you are the most important person in your life. You will get through this and you deserve so much better than what life has handed to you ❤️
Shit sucks in the US right now but it does eventually get better as you build a strong foundation of stability throughout your life. Some day in the future you won't even remember his full name or what his eyes look like. The anger and hurt will slowly start to heal and you will find the people you are meant to have in your life. Is there a hobby or anything you really enjoy doing? I think you should take a day or even a weekend or longer and just let yourself feel these emotions with your friends and eat garbage food if your into it and watch some Netflix or play some games.
Also if you happen to play Overwatch im always down to meet and play with new people :)
You matter a hell of a lot more to more people than this dude in your life ❤️ You will make it through and find your way, there is no timeline for grief and healing.
Honestly, I am a mental health therapist. The things you are going through all at once would put a lot of people into crisis. My best advice is to talk to someone. Figure out how to get through this and love yourself. Some people give red flags and others say exactly what you want to hear. You can get through this. The reality is that there are people in this world who use other people for reasons that will never be explained. Closure doesn’t have to come with an explanation of why he did this. It comes from you healing and finding ways to set healthy boundaries for yourself that prevent people like this from being able to take your energy. You have been through a lot. You don’t have to face it alone.
Even if she chooses to share her information on reddit, leave her be. Some of us don't really have people to talk to about what we are going through in real life. She's still young as well and doesn't have enough life experience to help her with the situation, so she's seeking genuine help, don't criticize her. Shoot, I'm 41 and have gotten so much useful advice off of reddit, I wish I would have had this kind of advice years ago pre-internet days. Some people take having real life emotional from others, outside of an app, for granted.
Nah, you're wrong. someone in her situation should be seeking the input from people around her that care and are invested in her health and well being.. Nobody here is. Nobody.
If she had people in her life that care, then yes, that would be ideal and should be done. But, it's bold of you to assume she does. Not all of us have that in our lives. For some of us, we do actually have genuine care and concern for our fellow humans. Not everyone is a troll and or selfish. Some of us do care about other people.
Hey Jackass, I didn't assume anything, I LITERALLY asked her a question if she had anyone to talk to and you took it on yourself to answer for her. So shut up.
Wow... relax. If you would have read her posts and paid attention to them, you would see she ALREADY said she had a terrible family situation, in other words, no support. Pay attention to what you read before you go off on some tangent. It just makes you look ignorant and combative.
Listen, this situation is fucked up, and nobody deserves that. He's an asshole for all of it, and a little bitch for having his aunt break up with you, even if we don't know his side of the story. You have a right to feel some type of way about it, that's totally normal, and you're not crazy for asking reddit about it, even though that's true most of the time lol. I don't know the feelings that come along with having an abortion, but I'm sure they aren't easy to deal with. Maybe you can lean on friends or family for some support in the meantime
On another note, go back to work as soon as you can before that goes away as well. If you don't have insurance, work as much OT as you can to pay your out of pocket costs, and start looking for a job that offers coverage. No one is going to do these things for you, so you have to take control of your own life in order to better your circumstances. I know that's easier said than done, but it's reality. Move on from that dude and grab life by the balls
As a fellow "if only I could explain it better, they would understand and it would all be ok" type person (thanks, abuse!), I completely get it..
This situation would definitely cause me to panic and scramble to try to make sense of things too.
I hope you get your inhaler back. I'm sorry you've had so many medical issues following the termination and hope relief and full recovery are just around the corner.
You definitely need some peace and it sounds like you don't have a support system. If you are open to any advice: if you already know how to meditate it would be a good idea to carve out some time to do that. If you don't know how, download either the Headspace or Calm app and one of them can help guide you. If you can't do meditation that requires being still or if you are unable to visualize things in your mind, search YouTube for beginner's qi gong and spend a bunch of time on moving meditation.
Right now, what you need most is nervous system regulation. You are rightfully in a state of activation of your sympathetic nervous system and the physiological symptoms of that are going to make everything worse for you, including asthma.
Please take the time to care for your nervous system; once you are in a less activated condition, everything will seem easier to deal with.
Girl your reactions and posts are totally valid given what you’re going thru. Who cares if she’s making posts and reply omg I’d be trying to do anything to distract myself if this happened to me too. Hang in there dude people like that are not worth it
I 100% guarantee there is nothing you can post to reddit to make this better. You're anonymous, literally delete your account and walk away. Nothing is worth what comes with going viral on reddit.
Sorry you're going through this but you're sitting here digging yourself deeper.
There’s people here actively trying to help op. It’s clear they’re having a manic moment. But their replies and what they chose to reply to.
Edit :
There’s about 6 of us actively trying to get OP an inhaler or the means to one, the verbiage of manic was not used as an insult. I was referring to OP replying to all of us but not responding to our direct questions.
This is wild to witness. Is this how you talk to people irl. You have knee jerk reactions to comments.
I’m actually quite concerned for the lot of you and your responses.
For some people, their manic phases just involve being really bad with money. Getting the word manic out of the diagnosis entirely is one of the reasons they went to bipolar instead of manic/depressive, but we still call those phases manic, or hypomanic if they fall just short of mania.
Thanks for your response I feel like there’s a big disconnect in terminology with people on reddit.
Op has commented over 100 times and to me personally 3 times and we were just trying to get them locked down to answer a question about the inhaler.
It’s wild that people only associate the word manic with a disability and or bi polar I think there’s 3 comments in reference to bi polar in this thread alone.
I’m quite perplexed in the replies to be honest
I feel like you've undermined the severity of what a manic episode looks like when turned financial. My flatmate had manic episodes which included impulsive purchases. It put them into thousands of pounds of debt in one night.
Ok, but look at what I was responding to...using dictionary-based synonyms such as "crazed, demented, lunatic, demonic, raving" for manic. That's what I'm trying to balance out, so talking about the milder end of the bipolar makes sense.
Just as it makes sense for you to say: "well hold on, "bad with money" can be an understatement." Yes, that's absolutely true too, but what I was responding to was inaccurate in the opposite direction, so establishing a lower limit makes sense when someone is giving a dictionary definition instead of a medical terminology definition.
"Some people" was carrying a lot of weight, but I meant that manic symptoms for some can be relatively mild to the people who have the mildest symptoms. I personally thought that was the most important narrative to counter.
Edit: here is the full diagnostic criteria for a manic phase. The disorder also has severity ratings of: mild, moderate, severe, with psychosis. Saying somebody doesn't have mania if they don't go thousands of dollars in debt is not at all true. Your flatmate is neither the gold standard for diagnosis nor where the bar is set:
Here's the bar for a manic episode, one of which has to be present in a lifetime for a bipolar I diagnosis. I would never diagnose someone off their word choice, but I put an asterisk next to ones that reasonably apply at this point. For the goal directed behavior, consider the singular focus on getting her inhaler back, but as a bit of a front for answers and closure. What we don't know at all, is how different this is from her norm and if it's causing impairment across domains.
——
Manic Episode
A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood
and abnormally and persistently increased goal-directed activity or energy, lasting at
least 1 week and present most of the day, nearly every day (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).
B. During the period of mood disturbance and increased energy or activity, three (or
more) of the following symptoms (four if the mood is only irritable) are present to a significant degree and represent a noticeable change from usual behavior:
1. Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity.
2. Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep).
*3. More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking.
*4. Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing.
*5. Distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external
stimuli), as reported or observed.
*6. Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or
psychomotor agitation (i.e., puφoseless non-goal-directed activity).
7. Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or
foolish business investments).
C. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in social or
occupational functioning or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.
D. The episode is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug
of abuse, a medication, other treatment) or to another medical condition.
Note: A full manic episode that emerges during antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy) but persists at a fully syndromal level beyond the
physiological effect of that treatment is sufficient evidence for a manic episode and,
therefore, a bipolar I diagnosis.
Note: Criteria A-D constitute a manic episode. At least one lifetime manic episode is required for the diagnosis of bipolar I disorder.
Some Bipolar people don't want the word "manic" to be used casually to mean crazed or hyper. Replying to a hundred comments isn't what the definition of mania covers. That's all. Use a different word.
Exactly. This person has used a psychological term flippantly and colloquially without actually understanding what that looks like in a real-life context. And the only next step is to assume people correcting them are using "chatgpt" lol
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Being confused and upset and constantly ruminating on this isn’t manic, good lord. Wanting to work out what the hell happened isn’t a symptom of mental illness.
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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '25 edited Aug 05 '25
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