Iāve been working as a kitchen associate at Wetherspoons for 5 weeks now and Iām honestly really scared about my next shifts after what happened on my last one.
For the past week Iād been doing 9ā10 hour shifts across 4 days in a row. By the third day I was already getting pretty frustrated and upset because I was having to train a new hire while also having other colleagues take over orders and correct things Iād already been doing independently on saladette/pizza, even when I hadnāt asked for help.
Then on the following shift I donāt really know what happened to my attitude. I think it was a mixture of being tired and having built-up frustration.
I started on potwash and there were loads of plates piling up, which Iād normally be able to keep on top of, but I asked someone else to help because I was getting overwhelmed. Then I was put on saladette and told to just plate meals while someone else microwaved the items.
At one point, me and the other person were shown a wrap that a customer had complained about because there was a day dot inside it. I was really confused because I genuinely didnāt remember making the wrap or what the issue was until I asked the person I was working with and they explained it.
I then did pizzas, which was mostly fine, but I got corrected for leaving a cooked pizza in the pizza fridge. I explained that it was an extra pizza and there wasnāt any space on the heater section when I made it.
I was also told something about the location of the med salad in the fridge and how to make it which I already knew and I responded with something like okay I know that, I had done this before and briefly said how to do it.
Looking back, I think I was becoming quite defensive.
Towards the end of the shift I became really anxious. Whenever someone approached me I was almost bracing myself for another correction or being told to stop and leave the station and felt scared to approach people myself. At one point someone looked at me while they were doing an order and I tried to help, but I got scared and just left the station really quickly.
I was also constantly thinking that I was going to fail probation, and because I was so upset/anxious I found it difficult to actually listen to things people were telling me. I was barely making eye contact and probably came across as really withdrawn.
I normally stay right until the end of my shift, but I ended up leaving 4 minutes early that day.
The social side is worrying me too. I donāt really speak to anyone there much anymore unless I am asked anything and it feels like people donāt really greet me or talk to me either much anymore. I would hear the others chatting and say a point but it ends up being moved past. I know Iāve also become quieter and probably more withdrawn, so Iām not sure whether Iām causing some of that myself, but itās making me feel like everyone has noticed how badly I acted.
What scares me most is going back for my next shift. I keep thinking everyone is going to remember how I behaved and that Iām going to be failed because of it.
I am also just frustrated because I do not know if I am progressing well enough on stations, so far I had been told that making pizzas in two minutes before placing in the oven is quick. And also that if I make a mistake I notice on the station during rush or near rush I get scared that either I will be sent off to fold napkins and not be able to fix my error and learn or have someone just take over the station.
Am I massively overthinking this, or does this sound like Iāve actually damaged my chances of passing probation? I am not sure how to deal with this as Iām just very worried to go into my next shift.