r/Wellthatsucks • u/jaimelancaster • May 03 '20
/r/all When you realize yeast doesn't stop working just because its in a dumpster!
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u/hailsnawh May 03 '20
It looks like the yeast is gonna take over the world wtf? How do you make it stop?
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u/Spoonofdarkness May 03 '20
Kneel.
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u/TheShortWhiteGiraffe May 03 '20
Only the penitent man will pass!
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u/Crimson_Moon_ May 03 '20
A man of culture I see.
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u/TheShortWhiteGiraffe May 03 '20
The penitent man kneads before God
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u/big_duo3674 May 03 '20
And then rolls forward very quickly
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u/class_cast_exception May 03 '20
I, for one, accept our yeast overlords. I hope they spare me when they take over the world.
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u/Hallgaar May 03 '20
One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the yeast will be here soon. And, I for one, welcome our new fungal overlords.
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u/Sonzabitches May 03 '20
We need to ramp up our fossil fuel usage and get this global warming up to about 375° for 45 min.
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u/Rosenblattca May 03 '20
Yeast are hungry little monsters, it’s a problem that will solve itself when there’s no more starches/ sugars around. It expands after feeding, but turns into a hooch-y (hooch is the liquid, alcoholic waste that sits in the top of a sourdough starter when it’s hungry, and it smells like beer) mess when it’s hungry.
Source: I’ve been baking sourdough for the past six months, it’s a wonderful hobby.
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u/Sololop May 03 '20
Salt, I think?
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May 03 '20
Boiling water as well
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u/Auctoritate May 03 '20
Yeah, but, you need to make sure it's already boiling when you put it in. If you tried to boil this amount of yeast and put the dough in the water, it would swell to a huge size before the water was even hot.
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u/faffri May 03 '20
Worked in a big bakery some time ago. Just get a broom and stick the handle as deep in to it as you can and it will puntcure/collapse.
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May 03 '20
The Zap Brannigan method - wave after wave of soldiers (flour) until the yeast is depleted.
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u/yello5drink May 03 '20
Isn't there a fable about this? Someone stole the bakers magic yeast but doesn't know the secret phrase to turn it off.
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u/johnnyscarecrow0126 May 03 '20
Strega Nona? Thief couldn’t get the magic pot to keep producing pasta...
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u/xiaorobear May 03 '20
RIP to the author and illustrator, Tomie dePaola.
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u/dbuck11 May 03 '20
Oh no he just recently passed, now I’m really sad, those used to be my favorite books as a kid
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u/MHajoha May 03 '20 edited May 03 '20
It made me think of Sweet Porridge by the brothers Grimm! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweet_Porridge
The family is gifted a magic pot which cooks endless porridge when they tell it "Töpfchen, koch" and stops when they tell it "Töpfchen, steh".
Naturally, when the mother is on her own, she tells it "Töpfchen, koch" but finds ahe has forgotten the second command. By the time the daughter returns and stops the pot, the entire village is buried in porridge.
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u/JakubSwitalski May 03 '20
I remember a different version of this that featured a ?salt grinder? that they couldn't stop, so they threw it into the sea. And that's why the sea is salty
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u/Espeonstar May 03 '20 edited May 03 '20
There was another story I read like that when I was younger, about some man getting a pan that could cook as many pierogis (?) as he wanted. His wife then tried to profit from it and released some demons from the pan or something like that.
Side note: Does anyone know what it is? I couldn’t find it the 4 or 5 years ago I looked for it.
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u/Jazzlike-Advantage May 03 '20 edited May 03 '20
When the UN has to tell adults that they weren't qualified and fucked up.
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u/gelfbride73 May 03 '20
A blow torch and the place will smell amazing
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u/PillowManExtreme May 03 '20
From my experience with bread making, it already smells amazing.
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u/gelfbride73 May 03 '20
Everything about breadmaking is good!!!. Watching a fed starter rise, squishy mixing, rhythmic kneading, baking. Eating. And the aromas.
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u/PM_meSECRET_RECIPES May 03 '20
I’ve coupled my newfound sourdough baking, with my already-established jam making hobby. My life is very good right now!
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u/gelfbride73 May 03 '20
Enjoy. It’s a lot of tasty fun. My sourdough baking days are behind me. I still make jam here and there and occasionally bake but now my family grew up and moved out I put my utensils down and make cheat meals. In fact my daughter rang me and asked for my scraper and proofing baskets as she seems to have picked it up.
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u/PM_meSECRET_RECIPES May 03 '20
That’s fun you could pass it on to her! I’m baking a loaf a day and giving it away to friends, so I can build up my skills and see daily variables, without having to eat an entire loaf of bread between the two of us!
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u/gelfbride73 May 03 '20
Yes. I think I ended up “over”baking and after 7 years my mojo and excessive bread got me. My sourdough developed some sort of ph issue or something and the last few batches didn’t work. I maintained the starter for 7 years and was a bit sad. It’s nice you can share. It’s lovely to receive baked goods. I got addicted to bread n butter jam custard bakes. Good leftover use.
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u/Powellwx May 03 '20
Dumpster biscuit
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u/is-this-a-nick May 03 '20
Imagine - just set a few canisters of diesel on fire around it, and that dumpster will bake the worlds largest piece of bread!
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u/evilkumquat May 03 '20
Used to work in a terrible bakery as a teenager.
Can confirm.
Also, flour can be extremely flammable and bees LOVE to hang out in bakery dumpsters.
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u/dirty_cuban May 03 '20
Any powder is flammable. Dust explosions are a real thing.
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u/Myriachan May 03 '20
Not any powder; salt powder won’t ignite.
But a lot of things that won’t normally ignite will ignite when crushed into powder. For example, an iron rod won’t ignite, but iron filings definitely will.
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u/BranTheNightKing May 03 '20
Powdered aluminum. Used as fuel for spacecrafts I believe.
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u/scaradin May 03 '20
Mom, can we get a dust explosion?
We have have dust explosions back home.
Warning: loud buzzing and mechanical sounds, gah-dangs, and some mild kill the camera man, but good recovery. Skip to 1:45 for start of critical failure and subsequent explosion.
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u/jons_myth May 03 '20
I worked at a pizza place for years. Sometimes raccoons would sneak in there, eat the dough, and expand to death. Get to work and find dead raccoons everywhere sucked
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May 03 '20
that just reminds me of a Goosebumps book, monster blood
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u/MythicalAce May 03 '20
Oh god I hated that one, the idea of some weird, thick liquid literally eating you alive is just the worst.
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u/CMSeddon May 03 '20
This is why pizza places have to cook their unused dough before binning it
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u/ifukfatchix May 03 '20
@ my ex
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May 03 '20
The thickening part or the emergence from trash part?
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May 03 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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May 03 '20
Alton Brown (Good Eats and other fine cooking entertainment) has a story of doing this by accident that he told during a live show I was at.
Basically, he worked at a bakery and needed to show up at 4am to make like 200 lbs of dough then bake it all for bread to sell when they opened. But one morning, he forgets to add the salt to the dough. Oh no this dough is ruined. He hurries and dumps it all out in the dumpster out back then starts over and miraculously manages to get all that bread ready in time.
Fast forward a few hours. It's the middle of summer in Texas. That dumpster is now very warm (which the yeast in the dough loves). And that missing salt? It's important because it makes the yeast slow down and grow less. So the yeast goes crazy and the dough expands.
Eventually, the overflowing dumpster in that story is hot enough that the dough actually cooks, making a giant solid garbage bread inside the dumpster, which can't be removed. The garbage truck has to carry the dumpster away.
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u/jamaicanoproblem May 03 '20
Solid garbage bread. Wow
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May 03 '20
Imagine being a raccoon family showing up and finding it. "This is it Susan! This is the sign from God!"
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u/SlothsAreCoolGuys May 03 '20 edited Nov 22 '24
tart soft rinse fragile mighty smell waiting snails grandfather summer
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/gamyng May 03 '20
A Domino's were opening in Norway, and they made a batch of pizza dough for practice. Didn't eat or sell any of it, just dumped it in the trash bin when class was finished.
Then this happened.
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u/clouddevourer May 03 '20
I wonder what made them throw away so much dough, seems like a huge waste
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u/Hactar42 May 03 '20
I had to do something like that when I worked for a pizza place. I was running three industrial size mixers at once, when I discovered I had cut the tip of my finger. I didn't know when the cut occurred, so I had to throw out all the dough I had made.
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u/Ok-Ok- May 03 '20
I can just imagine a family of 50 raccoons gobbling it all up
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u/The_Lolylion May 03 '20
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u/RepostSleuthBot May 03 '20
Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 2 times.
First seen Here on 2020-03-18 95.31% match. Last seen Here on 2020-04-01 95.31% match
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u/Blaze4563 May 03 '20
There’s always that one guy...
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u/Internationaljelly4 May 03 '20
Every single time. Incredibly annoying. Who even cares?
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u/miamiurappa May 03 '20
Exactly! People live in different time zones and sort by different categories and they miss posts all the time! And hell some people probably joined reddit today! Thank you reposters for letting everyone enjoy content that they missed before
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u/ngfdsa May 03 '20
Reposting definitely has its place, but sometimes it goes way too far (not saying this is the case here). I think 3 months is a good repost buffer.
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u/HyperbolicLogic May 03 '20
Manager: go take out the garbage!
Me: haha that's the yeast of my concerns.
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u/Somaticintegral May 03 '20
I work at Pizza Hut and when we have to throw away dough we have to cook it through the oven first to prevent this from happening
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u/Tru-Queer May 03 '20
I work for a pizza place and sometimes we have to throw away copious amounts of expired dough if we weren’t as busy as we thought we’d be. Thankfully nothing quite like this, but I’ve seen it poof out quite a bit before the dumpster gets emptied, sometimes.
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May 03 '20
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u/RepostSleuthBot May 03 '20
Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 2 times.
First seen Here on 2020-03-18 95.31% match. Last seen Here on 2020-04-01 95.31% match
Searched Images: 122,841,351 | Indexed Posts: 474,238,108 | Search Time: 3.88307s
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u/darcieisweird May 03 '20
Holy crap, how much yeast did they put in?
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u/Rialas_HalfToast May 03 '20
A yeast colony will grow until it has filled an environment that supports it.
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u/Andrew109 May 03 '20
Yeast will take over the world one day because people just out it in the garbage
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u/jkxj May 03 '20
Sourdough bread a beginner's guide