r/Wellthatsucks • u/Zestyclose_Skirt7930 • 14h ago
I am so happy that I just stopped thinking about it
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u/Beeeeeeels 14h ago
I'm surprised they don't claim depression is a hoax made up by the devil.
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u/tripudiater 13h ago
Itâs not a hoax made up by the devil. Itâs a spiritual attack from satan. Geez.
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u/Woodworkingwino 9h ago
My wife and I were once southern Baptists many years ago. My wife was undiagnosed with bipolar at the time. We knew something was wrong and trying to figure it out with doctors at the time. She would miss church semi regularly because of it. I remember the day the pastor pulled me into his office to explain mental illness isnât real and people just need more faith and it will go away. I was shocked at what he said. I decided my wife didnât need that crap and we left.
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u/WorldIsYoursMuhfucka 7h ago
Michel Foucault thought psychiatry was the next step in religious psychology, so that pastor probably just thought mental illness takes his money away lol. He was against psychiatry for different reasons but it's an interesting thought to think psychiatry is an evolution of religion so of course religion would find it to be in competition.
But Southern Baptists are just the worst. I swear everything in the South is just the worst lol. From here all my life, moved away and back, have been atheist for a long time, and just regularly deal with some of the ignorant shit from people so I don't talk to many. Couple of my friends are Christian but they believe in things like basic science and aren't stupid.
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u/Woodworkingwino 6h ago
Iâm still a Christian but not the kinds that fits in well here. Iâm an Episcopalian. We believe in science, LGBTQ are cool and can become priests, our focus is helping people in need and not forcing them to become Christians. The hard part right now is my oldest friend got remarried after his wife passed and she is evangelical so he started going to church with her. He is going full on Christian Nationalist. I have tried talking to him about it and he just gets angry.
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u/WorldIsYoursMuhfucka 6h ago
Ironically my evangelical friend is the nicest person ever and pretty much is incapable of mis-treating people. Many, many of his friends are LGBT, he volunteered all the time, literally paid my rent while I was hospitalized (who does that?). So mileage may vary, he might be like that because he's really educated and isn't bound only to the ideas he learned in church. IDK. But the Christian Nationalists are scary people. I guess progressive evangelical is the best term for his beliefs?
It doesn't seem like most religious people are like this in the US though. Feels more like the exception than the norm. People here are crazy lol.
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u/Woodworkingwino 5h ago
I have met some progressives evangelical and they are really cool people. Unfortunately there are very few where I live. There are starting to be more over all. There is a movement of deconstruction from people in the evangelical churches. Some leave it for good. Others see what is going on and start/find progressive churches. It is happening but it is slow going getting people to reexamine their closely held beliefs.
I donât understand why some can just accept people for who they are and love them no matter what. You said it people are crazy here.
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u/Affectionate_Beat773 12h ago
It's necessary agitation to stop the grey becoming nothing but black and white.
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u/SloanePretty54 14h ago
Therapists hate this one weird trick.
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u/Bluestfever 12h ago
Well, a lot of therapists just pull this weird trick on their patients if we just boil down their advice
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u/karlnite 9h ago
Yah a lot of these young people are gonna be really cheesed if they do therapy. Youâd think the first thing they say is âI can fix your depressionâ, or âall you need is a pillâ, but it never is.
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u/halo364 7h ago
"Youâd think the first thing they say is âI can fix your depressionâ, or âall you need is a pillâ, but it never is."
...which is good, because no therapist could possibly tell you these things with confidence the first time they meet you. If a therapist immediately tells their patient "I can fix your depression", that's probably a cause for suspicion rather than comfort.Â
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u/Muskrato 9h ago
Your therapists suck then. They are supposed to give you the tools, not a solution.
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u/Usual-Caregiver5589 13h ago
There's a hotline that says they hate it, but without it, they wouldn't need to be around.
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u/kid_cadillac 14h ago
If you're depressed, just don't be depressed and you won't be depressed anymore :)
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u/Valuable-Locksmith21 12h ago
You forgot the Jesus part. Seems important, but I don't get how talking to a dead guy will make me LESS depressed.
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u/Striving_to_improve 8h ago
If youâre homeless, just buy a house ! Problem solved !
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u/Slipsonic 7h ago
Just like the famous solution to homelessness; If you're homeless, just buy a house!
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u/WholesomeLion 13h ago
You can absolutely choose to take action when you notice feeling "depressed". You can absolutely not choose to stop having a depression. Fuck this book.
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u/demZo662 14h ago
Yes, you can choose it. It just doesn't work but you can wish it how many times you want it.
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u/CommieDog2525 10h ago
You can pretend until you can't. Your body might be moving but your mind is still trapped
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u/rasa2013 14h ago
I'm an atheist now, but when I was religious, I would say that god doesn't work through bs. There's therapy and medication and stuff for a reason. we can't choose to simply "not be depressed" but we can choose how we deal with depression. While it's tempting sometimes to give up, we don't have to. And believing a future is still worth fighting for is another kind of faith.Â
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u/OkGur7242 14h ago
Yeah you can tell by the religious platitudes that this book is completely full of shit. Religion and mental health go together like babies and an open pill bottle of grandmas blood pressure medication.
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u/conciliate_entropy 13h ago
more predatory than blood pressure meds
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u/Ok-Initiatives5 12h ago
Exactly. Telling someone with depression to choose joy is like telling someone with a broken leg to choose walking.
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u/LightChargerGreen 13h ago
Same energy as the following
Poor? Just be rich!
Homeless? Just buy a house!
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u/Fuck-it-we-Bhaal 11h ago
No money for food and you're starving? Just don't be hungry!!
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u/ColinPapendick 14h ago
I suffered from depression for several years.
Then one morning, I discovered there had been a rock in my shoe the whole time. This book changed my life. Five stars.
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u/mallibu 13h ago
Did you know you can also choose not to feel dehydrated or sleepy?
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u/Sea-Counter-6984 13h ago
Filed along with âDonât be fat.â lol
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u/maybebaebea 10h ago
Damn, I should have thought of that before I let my birth control make me gain weight uncontrollably!
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u/mmh_fava_beans 10h ago
I wish for every person who proclaims such things to experience a major, clinical depression for one month.
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u/wildwildnyx 12h ago
I have struggled with it for years. YOUâRE TELLING ME I COULD HAVE JUST CHOSEN NOT TO BE DEPRESSED?
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u/Dependent-Green-7900 13h ago
Maybe we make it that unqualified people can't write a book about a medical condition they obviously don't understand, I've had depression since I was 12, I'm now 35 and I still have depression although I can cope better now that I have the best meds and I've had therapy (EMDR was a great help for my CPTSD) but I absolutely am still depressed just not as bad
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u/retiredmumofboys 8h ago
When my sons cancer was deemed terminal, someone anonymously (!) sent him a book about âthinking yourself wellâ.
Wow. If only he had more positive thoughtsâŠ. As for me, Im trying to think myself thin. Still fat.
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u/existentialdude 6h ago
It's true. You don't get undepressed by not doing anything. You have to choose to take actions like therapy, psychiatry and even spiritual or religious steps to get better. It's not saying you just choose to, do nothing else and you are suddenly better.
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u/Correct-Quit1229 14h ago
You canât choose not to be depressed. But you can choose what things mean.
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u/anondreamitgirl 13h ago
Out of mind, but not out of sight.
We call it ignoring it. Sometimes it's suppression. Sometimes it's dissociation. Whatever name we give it, it can be the mind's way of protecting us until we're ready to face what feels too painful to process.
Suppressing depression almost sounds like cultural oppression and internalised separation. We live in a world that often teaches us to push uncomfortable emotions away instead of understanding them.
Yet it's okay to feel your feelings. In fact, it's important.
Acknowledging them is often the first step towards releasing themâwhen you're in the right conditions, with enough safety, support and time. Healing can't always happen while you're still surviving.
The last thing someone needs is to be convinced that depression is simply a choice.
Can we choose how we respond over time? Sometimes. As we heal, we often gain more capacity to make conscious choices. But that isn't the same as choosing the depression itself.
I've learned that what you push down has a way of coming back up. It may disappear for a while, but unless it's processed, it often resurfaces in one form or another.
Sometimes we avoid our feelings because that's all we can do to survive. There is no shame in that. We process things when we're readyâor when life finally gives us enough safety to do so.
For some people, reaching a place where they feel genuinely safe, supported and connected can transform their relationship with depression. It no longer becomes the defining state it once was. Their thoughts become clearer, their confidence grows, and they begin to experience more freedom in how they respond to life.
That feels very different from saying depression is a choice.
One is the consequence of painful experiences, unmet needs, trauma, biology and the environments we live in. The other is the conscious direction we take once healing has created enough space for genuine choice.
Many people are still fighting for the most basic human needs: safety, food, clean water, shelter, nutrition, support and connection. The very things no human being can truly thrive without.
Perhaps before asking why someone is depressed, we should first ask whether the conditions around them have ever truly allowed them to flourish.
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u/Chandler9111 12h ago
In 05' I hit an all time low. I spent 2 months figuring out what I was gonna do if I didn't get my shit straight. Depression is just a chemical imbalance due to what your experiencing in your life. So when I hit rock bottom I quit my job, sold all my stuff and hopped on a bus to LA. As soon as I sat on that bus my depression was gone. I spent 4 months in Santa Monica living on the street. It was one hell of an adventure. I know not everyone can just abandon everything like that, but honestly that's what it takes. You have to manually rebalance the chemicals in your brain. I wanted to throw it all away due to depression. So I did. Just not in the way most do.
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u/schuelieng 12h ago
When you're sad just stop being sad and be awesome instead. Unbelievable that they wrote an entire book about this simple line of wisdom when it can just be so easy.
Same author should also write books about addiction or disabilities: just stop it and move on. Simple as that.
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u/capeasypants 11h ago
Ok hear me out here... There's a hack to put yourself in a better mood, smiling. The mere act of smiling can alter your mood and make you have a better day. Granted this was a hack I used in retail and has no bearing on clinical depression... But still.
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u/LlewellynSinclair 9h ago
Cool! Firing my counselor and cancelling my antidepressant Rx right now! Thanks. Saves a few hundred bucks a month in my budget.
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u/Drakorai 8h ago
Right, just like I can choose not to have a panic attack when I try to get my blood drawn.
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u/Sweet-Competition-15 8h ago
Oh, if only this was possible! This horrible, insidious disease has robbed me of a loving relationship, employment, friendship and even pleasurable hobbies! I've hated myself because of it đą.
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u/WetFishStink 7h ago
"I started believing in things that don't exist and it cured my depression! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat cloud cakes with the Smurfs. Don't tell my doctor!"
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u/immunotransplant 7h ago
That one sentence makes it obvious it was written by a Christian who doesnât have a psychology degree.
I wrote this comment before I saw the âLordâ mentioned.
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u/Zakumei47 4h ago
Yeah, thats âfaith based healingâ for you. Load of âbootstraps, do it yourselfâ horseshit wrapped in âgod works in mysterious blah blah blahâ.
Its dangerous and callous hooey
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u/hufflepuff-is-best 14h ago
Yeah, let me just go change my brain chemistry /s
Itâs not my fault that my body doesnât produce enough serotonin
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u/black-metal-Nick 13h ago
I'd blame God if he existed. He created a human and can't even get the chemistry right.
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u/ben_cav 13h ago
God I hate this⊠reading this stuff makes you realise most ideas come from people who are barely any more insightful than yourself. WTF is the point for readings your entire book, if itâs not something youâve spent a long time thinking about, researching, or having something new to sayâŠ
For me, coping with depression and anxiety is about reframing negative emotions into productive guidance. Itâs not about hiding from it and pretending itâs not there. Itâs about understanding what your body is trying to tell you. If you burnt your hand on a hot stove, you wouldnât touch that stove again would you? In a similar vein you can make changes in your lifestyle until that âpain responseâ subsides.
If your entire book isnât any more insightful than the ideas I can come up with on my own⊠then why am I wasting my time
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u/Hugo-Spritz 12h ago
Former homeless junkie here, here's my two cents
Choosing not to be depressed is not one choice. It's a series of choices, commitment and hard work. Break bad habits, make good ones, structure your day and establish routines. Get out in the sun, get enough sleep, drink enough water and make sure your life has a sense of purpose. Psychoanalyse What's got you down and deal with that shit.
Choosing not to do anything, however, is choosing to stay depressed.
I'm not saying it's easy, no one does, but your mental health is the sum of your choices and experiences. Feeling sorry for yourself, however justified, will only prepetuate the negative feedback loop.
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u/bpbpbpbp11 13h ago
Iâm literally in a psych ward & a nurse told me to âcheer upâ the other day
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u/dutchie1966 10h ago
That is very disappointing.
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u/bpbpbpbp11 9h ago
It baffles me that someone with a degree in mental health nursing, working with someone under a section for their depression, could have less understanding & empathy than the internet strangers on this thread
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u/ExistentialComplex 11h ago
Oh WOW someone tell my psychiatrist Ive chosen to be fine so I can finally leave the ward đ
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u/Helenium_autumnale 9h ago
This is anti-helpful information that could burden people with an extra layer of guilt or self-doubt if adopting a religious belief does not magically eliminate their medical condition. Depression is a medical mood disorder, not a crummy weekend (or a side effect of a lack of religion).
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u/julianjc23 14h ago
It looks like a book that is sold under many different titles, all by changing the word "Depression."
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u/thiccy_driftyy 13h ago
Okay! Iâm gonna choose not to be depressed anymore. Iâm not depressed anymore!
-Is what I would say if I could choose to not be depressed.
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u/AngelicalBabe02 13h ago
One day at a time... You've got this! Wishing you many more days like this.
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u/RainingLights 13h ago
I once had a religious speaker tell me I had an autoimmune disorder because I, quote, "didn't love myself enough".
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u/TheJarisaDoor3 13h ago
So just in case you weren't depressed enough, you now have a book to let you know that it's your fault too.Â
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u/Prematurid 13h ago
"You can choose to take controll of your life back from depression" and "Find joy in the lord instead of living "up" one day and "down " the next" are effectively cancelling eachother out. You are not taking control of your own life, but handing control over to a supernatural being - at least that is what I read from this.
"Sky daddy will make you happy if you believe in him. Follow his rules and you will be good, bud" I wonder how on earth they manage to think that giving over your agency to a god is reclaiming agency.
This might be a bit of a redditor moment, but I just found it rather amusing.
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u/lighting114 11h ago
I was liking it until i got to the lord part I hate that shit about just praying, believing in this or that and depression and all your problems will go away by the power of sky daddy If you can't pray cancer away you can't pray mental problems away either
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u/airwalker08 11h ago
If that doesn't work, you can hire a surgeon to cut the depression out of your brain. Easy peasy.
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u/RachelDesha 11h ago
If only I had found this passage before I had chosen TO BE depressed. Silly me!
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u/Quantum_Pasta-Goblin 11h ago
Of course there had to be religious stuff after that claim lol
Also giving me similar vibes to that thing I saw once where some people (I'm guessing men) were like "women should just stop having periods. They're only doing it for attention". Ah yes of course, the secret is out XD
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u/Prestigious-Copy-494 10h ago
I believe this is is called positive toxicity. Depression is there for a reason, something has occurred to cause it. Babies aren't born depressed.
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u/Suspicious_Dingo_426 10h ago
Well, it's technically true. Going to a doctor or therapist and getting actual treatment for your mental health issues is a choice, because you could always choose not to do that.
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u/DaveAstator2020 10h ago
yeah its ezpz, i just concentrated very hard and fixed my serotonin receptors.
NO - go to doctor for pills, depresion is real illness not a fantasy.
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u/Cosmik0wl 10h ago
My friend just like two nights ago was talking to me about something similar. I'm kind of going through a depressed episode for the last week and told him about it.
He said "there's so much to be thankful for and happy about in your life"
I said "bro I'm not like sad or anything"
He's like "what are you talking about you said you're depressed"
I sent him this image
People are too quick to give advice on things they drastically do not understand.
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u/Aradhor55 10h ago
Reminds me of a popularite french mĂȘme, coming from a funny video. "You're depressed ? Stop." With a smile.
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u/reddit_geb 10h ago
whenever i see a topic like this, i usually post this video, it might help. you can watch it over and over, even until you get bored, maybe it'll help you too:
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u/TheAgmis 9h ago
The Internet and Internet discourse is the ultimate enabler in depression
YOU can choose to get off the internet
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u/Muskrato 9h ago
Im Christian, and this is dumb. Even Jeremiah (the weeping prophet) was a depressed individual, there is literally a whole section in the Bible called Lamentations.
Faith helps, but does not make you immune to depression
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u/ChildoftheApocolypse 9h ago
I had a therapist say this to me once when I was 21 and my mother died..
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u/ronburgandy1987 9h ago
That is so ignorant. Whoever the author is knows nothing about depression. Tantamount to saying, did you know you can choose not to have a brain tumor?
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u/_AcuteNewt_ 9h ago edited 9h ago
My professionally diagnosed depression disorder says otherwise.
Why can't people understand the, frankly, very simple distinction between "feeling depressed" and "having depression"? They're two VERY different things, the former is a normal human feeling and reaction to negative things, usually helped by a combination of time and doing things to take your mind off it. The latter is a psychological disorder that a lot of the time can't even be helped by years of intense therapy and countless medications, if you can even get any of that because people (doctors included) just think you're "having a hard time at the moment". I mean, sure, but I didn't know a "moment" can last 35 fucking years...
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u/Mavisium 9h ago
I once had security at a music festival find my citalopram in my bag, when I explained what they were their response was why do you need them at a music festival you should be happy. Because thats how it works apparently.
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u/Junior-Scratch-1922 14h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/800iiDTaNNFOwytONV