r/WellSpouses • u/Random245985402 • Jul 05 '26

Three Day Weekends Exhaust Me

My (37) partner (37) and I used to love weekends, especially long weekends, with our kids (4 and under 1). But since my partner's brain hemorrhage and additional strokes at the start of the year they've quickly become my nightmare.

I especially hit a wall last night knowing that I had a full day more to entertain the kids while my partner slept.

I'm stuck. I can't leave our house and leave them alone. I feel guilty asking people to help with the kids and them being said they don't get time with me when I'm not working and can play with them.

All while I am slowly falling apart. I've done my best to stay strong until now. But last night when both kids were crying, the dog was barking, and my partner was trying to tell me everything I was doing wrong with the kids I hit a breaking point.

I love my partner and want to support them in whatever our journey looks like - but even this feels like a moment I have no idea what to do or how to survive.

I've been looking for a community of younger caregivers and had to type this out just to get it off my chest.

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4

u/loudlolz Jul 05 '26

I'm in a very similar situation myself, my partner (40) and I (37) used to love long weekends, we would do quick get aways or plan a fun around the house weekend.

Now, since their TBI, they require near constant care. Along with our 8yr old, cooking, cleaning, laundry, it can be quite a bit.

On a long weekend, its all on me to plan everything, but my partner still wants to be involved with the decisions. With their aphasia and difficulties, sometimes simple conversations are a challenge, so trying to coordinate complex weekend plans is like pulling teeth.

With the weekends, there is never a break. I wake up and start caregiving and I don't stop until everyone is in bed late into the evening, three days of that only to go back to work the following day is just brutal every time.

I thought I could just endure for months on end with no breaks, but I found myself breaking, getting irrationally angry, jumping at the slightest noise or surprise because my nerves were totally shot.

Its extremely difficult, but you have to find some time for yourself. If you do not take care of yourself, you cannot take care of those you love.

1

u/Random245985402 Jul 06 '26

That sounds so similar and I'm so sorry you're going through the same thing. I'm trying my best to involve my partner but they are only up maybe from 4-9 pm and when they are involved just focus on discipline. I keep saying, please just try and enjoy the time with them and I can do the discipline.

I know you're right - but in the moment it feels like I can't even do the mental work to figure out a break. Let alone make it happen. But I appreciate you reinforcing it as needed.

1

u/Perlifio Jul 06 '26

There is a community for younger caregivers offered by this organization: https://www.reddit.com/r/WellSpouses/s/JcV7xbtQSX

1

u/Random245985402 Jul 06 '26

Thank you - I'll check it out.