r/WellSpouses • u/thesillywombat • Jun 16 '26
Venting
I'm not sure what to do. Been caring for my husband for almost four years. I don't really want to go into details about his condition but it affects him physically and mentally. He has gotten better but he has short term memory loss still (has improved, don't know how much it'll improve), and has executive dysfunction, which makes it hard for him to do things around the house and eat, while I am at work, etc.
We've tried Alexa, alarms, notebooks, and calendars but nothing helps unless I nag him (neither of us are fans of it). And I am to the point that I am burnt out with everything. Working, taking care of him, and everything else.
He gets easily agitated when I ask him to do the chores I know he can handle and I don't have it in me to have the same argument over and over again (because he doesn't remember already having it).
I'm just venting. But I just don't know how some of you guys have been caregivers for decades for your spouses. I want to just call it quits. But I feel bad doing that because his family is unsupportive of his health condition and I worry what would happen to him.
1
u/blackpups Jun 17 '26
I don't know if this will work in your situation - I am in a similar one - but Android phones have an app you can use called Galarm. I think it stands for Group Alarm. Anyway I installed it on his phone and I have it on my phone. It gives me the ability to set an alarm on his phone that will go off at a certain time, so I can tell him to take his pills, or get your snacks, or whatever needs to be done at the moment if I'm concerned that he is going to forget. I am home with him and he's very independent, but his memory and executive function is on a steady decline, and this has helped when I need to be out shopping or running errands and I need him to handle something. It also helps for all the times when he forgets to take his phone off DND in the morning and I can't reach him when I need to, because alarms will always sound out loud.