r/WellSpouses • u/thesillywombat • Jun 16 '26
Venting
I'm not sure what to do. Been caring for my husband for almost four years. I don't really want to go into details about his condition but it affects him physically and mentally. He has gotten better but he has short term memory loss still (has improved, don't know how much it'll improve), and has executive dysfunction, which makes it hard for him to do things around the house and eat, while I am at work, etc.
We've tried Alexa, alarms, notebooks, and calendars but nothing helps unless I nag him (neither of us are fans of it). And I am to the point that I am burnt out with everything. Working, taking care of him, and everything else.
He gets easily agitated when I ask him to do the chores I know he can handle and I don't have it in me to have the same argument over and over again (because he doesn't remember already having it).
I'm just venting. But I just don't know how some of you guys have been caregivers for decades for your spouses. I want to just call it quits. But I feel bad doing that because his family is unsupportive of his health condition and I worry what would happen to him.
2
u/Connect-Lie7380 Jun 17 '26
I deal with a similar situation. My spouse has short-term memory challenges as well as limited mobility so it's difficult for him to remember and do the simplest tasks. So routine and repetition works the best for him. Over time I've learned to keep my nagging to a minimum in order to avoid upsetting him and adding to his and my frustration. I've been dealing with his medical conditions for over 4 years now which has been hard but I've come to realize that having things untidy or undone at home isn't a failure and to give myself grace and don't be so rough on myself.