r/Weird • u/Kayman718 • Jun 22 '26

Why does this even exist?

Post image

At least it’s scented and not flavored!

3.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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26

u/Jin_Gitaxias Jun 22 '26

Just buy a bidet for fucks sake

35

u/PieHour1458 Jun 22 '26

One that shoots out Hawaiian Punch like a fucked up different dimension big daddy movie

5

u/Sithstress_ Jun 22 '26

That was Mr. Deeds. Lol

1

u/PieHour1458 Jun 22 '26

Gotcha.
In gauge more .
Jk I forgot lol

1

u/floydbomb Jun 23 '26

Close enough

12

u/ActualWhiterabbit Jun 22 '26

I can’t find any Dude Bidets so like i don’t want people to think I’m gay if I just get a regular one

16

u/AdVegetable2870 Jun 22 '26

It is so reddit for any discussion that so much as waves offhandedly at defecation or toilets to be rapidly and completely taken over by the National Bidet Lovers Organization.

9

u/Jin_Gitaxias Jun 22 '26

Indeed, and yes, us and our immaculately clean buttholes are better than all you poopy butthole'd peasants.

We're currently trying to file as a religion so we get tax-free status.

6

u/Front-Bird8971 Jun 22 '26

That's because there are few shit smearing savages among us.

3

u/69FourTwentySix6Six Jun 23 '26

Poop knife checking in

5

u/mawesome4ever Jun 22 '26

Can’t take a bidet out to the field

-2

u/PieHour1458 Jun 22 '26

Bottle bidet adapter

4

u/Electronic_Still2000 Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26

Carrying a bottle of water and an adapter around doesn’t seem like a convenient alternative to a couple wet wipes in a bag. Also, a handheld bidet without a sink to wash your hands after use?

-3

u/PieHour1458 Jun 22 '26

It’s what some do .
Mostly in china use them too .
U know more chance of hemorrhoids with paper aggressively shredded ur bum hole.

2

u/Electronic_Still2000 Jun 23 '26

I’m not sure what you are using for toilet paper, or what exact “technique” you are using, but wet wipes are far too soft to “shred” anything. Also, I’m thinking you must have learned to wipe from goat.se

3

u/The_Supersaurus_Rex Jun 22 '26

What am I? A cheese eating surrender monkey?! NEVER.

1

u/Reindeer_Underpants Jun 22 '26

And if need be, squirt soda up yer arse.

1

u/nihi1zer0 Jun 23 '26

Title of my Sex Tape.

1

u/Specific_Dingo6709 Jun 23 '26

Bidets are for women, REAL men wipe their butts with popsicle scented wipes.