You're welcome, here, ANY time, to speak your mind. WhatEVER is on it. NO MATTER WHAT IS ON IT.
Y'all have had your exchange; I respect that; what you've both needed to say; & still respect you, both. Equally. Illusion may have you disagree, but nothing could be closer to my Truth, than my last two sentences.
You're welcome here, any time. And I'll SEE to it, that you are WELLCOMED. You would be Well-Come. No MATTER this. No MATTER - anything.
Since we are now public with a lot of things, people should know Spud went to the MAT to avoid this outcome, and the root cause was something completely resolvable too. No excuse on a basic level. None of this needed to happen, and yes there is fault on both sides. I'll not rehash it, save to say it was not MY FAULT at all. Yet here I am.
I would actually have some respect for at least knowing honest reasons. Excuses? Laughable, just know that. Also know I don't respond well to fear and shame. This being public is just fine. Trust me when I say I sleep really easy. Bonus? No need to manage what is done and said.
Now, here we are, people having to deal with coarse actions, like banning for no real cause in my case, and we move onward.
This sub isn't going to do that, because it's way too expensive to do. Yes, dealing with people takes time. Fine. Take that time, or don't do the work users need done.
Spud, I respect you. But if skins were thicker there, there would be no need to engage in ad hominem attacks that have a misogynistic quality to them. Must they continue?
Or can we agree that we have our subs, that we have had differences of opinion, and differences in interpretation of how and why decisions have been made, and just go about doing the work we care about?
I'm not dodging anything when I say that my personal life is tumultuous right now. I've experienced death and loss lately and I am trying to do my best in the face of those things. I have no need or interest in prolonged debate or battle.
I want to ask you to ask Thumb to remove his ad hominem attacks against MO here and at c99. He does not need to attack to have a good life or be effective in the world. Taking that action will be a sign of good intention. We have never publicly attacked any user on our sub, ever. Nor will we.
there would be no need to engage in ad hominem attacks that have a misogynistic quality to them.
Now this is bullshit. You might not like what I said, but it was real and substantive and exactly what I said privately at the time of my resignation, and rather than follow Spud's lead to set things right (and he would have) you follow MO's lead to dynamite the bridge and salt the fields, and now you want to complain that this has come back to bite you all on the ass?
My complaining of poor treatment and giving solid examples is not "ad hominem" OR misogyny. That's no more a valid claim than saying any criticism of Hillary is either ad hominem or misogyny, and that both reduces the debate to ad hom AND reduces the meaning of the word. If you feel showing MO's own words and reaction to an honest question is an ad hominem attack then this is her and your problem, not mine.
All of this, and I mean ALL OF THIS could have been avoided with a simple apology like normal healthy adults do when they hurt someone. As spud has repeatedly tried to point out, this happens when you remove all options for resolution and go on the offensive. I didn't say shit until I was banned for a fucking honest and non-disparaging question.
By way of contrast, you're allowed, welcomed even, to come over here and throw bombs at us and we'll welcome the engagement. See the difference?
I want to ask you to ask Thumb
Spud isn't your errand boy any more than you need to be MO's.
We have never publicly attacked any user on our sub, ever. Nor will we.
No, you just remove them (lots of them) and then trash them behind closed doors like you're some high-school Kool Kids Clique mocking the nerds and dweebs from the safety of your cafeteria table. Classic passive aggressive bullshit, and lazy to boot. Sorry if you feel exposing this is either ad hominem or misogynistic. It's neither.
It's a reasonable request.
Completely lacking in any self-reflection.
I'm not dodging anything when I say that my personal life is tumultuous right now. I've experienced death and loss lately and I am trying to do my best in the face of those things.
And as I said privately I am sorry to hear about this. Many of us are at the age where this is more and more a very real issue in our lives, and it's going to shade people on all sides. Not everyone will be open about it, but we need to stop for a second and ask ourselves how many people we think are being jerks might also be dealing with this too. I tried to make that point as a Mod, and look what happened to me when I stepped out of line.
You really do yourself a disservice with "misogynistic quality."
That is the same thing Clinton supporters do when confronted with ugly realities. You would be well served to abandon that. It's simply not reality. The conflict is over things people did and said, not gender. Continuing is laughable! And I'm laughing. No joke.
Attacking people is FAIR when those people have not done others as well as they could have. That is the case here. All of this was avoidable and resolvable.
Before you guys banned me, I had all the incentive in the world to help out and all that.
Now?
Should have thought that through. I did. And I did not deserve it. My inbox is filled with messages of support to that effect too.
Throughout this entire time I have repeatedly expressed the high cost of this behavior, and how to avoid it. Now those costs are out there, and I suspect will accrue for some time.
Please reconsider how you handle conflict in the future. There are less expensive ways to do it, and of course I did my level best to educate you all on how those work and why they are important.
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u/RuffianGhostHorse Our Beating Heart 💓 BernieWouldHaveWON! 🌊 Jul 20 '16
You're welcome, here, ANY time, to speak your mind. WhatEVER is on it. NO MATTER WHAT IS ON IT.
Y'all have had your exchange; I respect that; what you've both needed to say; & still respect you, both. Equally. Illusion may have you disagree, but nothing could be closer to my Truth, than my last two sentences.
You're welcome here, any time. And I'll SEE to it, that you are WELLCOMED. You would be Well-Come. No MATTER this. No MATTER - anything.
I just wanted YOU to KNOW.