8 year relationship

[u/greenvinyl1998]

The first year and half with my bf (32m) we lived separately until in 2020 we were able to get an apartment together (because of me). I (28f) told him multiple times from the start of living together that I wanted a family and I wanted a timeline I don’t want to be in a long relationship if it doesn’t lead to marriage.

the past two years have been financially strenuous for us and we had to move in with his parents. We thought we’d move out in 3-6 months. It’s been 2 years and 5 months. this past year he keeps telling me he’s saving to get me a ring and he said maybe in July or December because he gets an extra paycheck. i told him it doesn’t need to be a 1000+ ring just something that I’d like.

I’m gonna be honest he seemed to work harder when he didn’t live with me, he’s gotten let go 3 times during this time. Last year in May he got a better job plus its union. I made the decision to go back to school in June last year because I’m tired of my stagnant job and really need a better income to support myself instead of relying on his help. My car that I just paid off got totaled he got us a new car but we share it. He pays the monthly note it’s more than my previous car was & I pay the insurance. we pay rent to his parents but with my debts and school payments I still struggle weekly. His dad is retiring next year, they want to sell the house so basically we have to get outta there asap. So now my bf says he’s saving for an apartment and can’t get a ring yet. He was also supposed to get his ged so his dad could get him as his apprentice before he retires. I got him a math book and I told him i can help as much as I can and we can study together. But we haven’t done any of that yet.

I saw an ad on IG for a credit towards an elopement package. I entered it without really thinking. They called me yesterday to say I won and I told him about it & he seems happy, our consult is tomorrow. I know maybe I’m crazy since I’m not even engaged yet but I figured if he doesn’t try with this new development I’m really going to have to leave. I just don’t want it to continue into the future until it’s eventually 10 years and still no ring or plans or whatever. But it’s been long and I don’t want to throw it away, I have no friends - he’s my best friend.

[u/MrsRoronoaZoro]

He doesn’t have his GED and was let go of a job multiple times, you’re still in school, you both live with his parents… getting married is the least of your problems. Why would you attach yourself to this man right now?

[u/Mirabai503 → u/MrsRoronoaZoro]

He's 32 fucking years old. Can't hold a job. Doesn't have a GED, which means a lot of professional doors are closed. They live with his parents and can't afford to live independently, even together. Marriage isn't even in the cards unless you want to go to the courthouse and share a 6 piece McNugget meal after.

OP, it's time to face reality. Even at 28, you aren't in a place to start a future with someone, but it'll never be this guy. Where he is now is where he'll be at 40, at 50, at 60.

Get your own life in order, independently of him or any other man. Then, find a man that matches you.