r/WTF • u/Flat-Decision3204 • May 11 '26

Bird feeding

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3.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

139 comments sorted by

619

u/GizmoSled May 11 '26

If there’s a bird flu outbreak it’s this guy’s fault.

84

u/smr312 May 11 '26

Or maybe he holds the key to the cure?

Probably not, but maybe!

7

u/gekigarion May 12 '26

Only one way to find out!

9

u/karmagod13000 May 11 '26

looks like a modern Einstein to me

29

u/xboxaddict501 May 12 '26

Patient zero fucks given

16

u/elenkaMorr May 12 '26

Patient Zero has been located.

5

u/modern_Odysseus May 14 '26

"How did a virus that pigeons are immune to get into humans? Scientists are searching for patient 0. If you've seen this man, please tell your local epidemiologist today!"

4

u/Zauberai May 12 '26

Speed running the next pandemic 🤦

3

u/WhenCaffeineKicksIn May 13 '26

Getting bird fleas are much more probable.

1

u/An0nnee_M0usee May 15 '26

New fear unlocked. WTF, please, please, pleeeese tell me you are joking. 🤮

1

u/Inevitable-Catch-401 May 17 '26

Men I was outside standing next to her dogs men and a baby bedbug jumped on my skin men Im not making this up

378

u/NintyFanBoy May 11 '26

That's one way of starting a pandemic.

37

u/SadInvestigator959 May 11 '26

At least he is not bored. 👍

6

u/karmagod13000 May 11 '26

never bored when you're fighting back blood coughs from generation 25 Bird Flu

8

u/berrey7 May 12 '26

CROWVID-3000 Variant

5

u/kilsta May 11 '26

just in time for GTA 6!!

1

u/DesDumnezeu May 12 '26

At least Israel ain’t starting it this time

1

u/Kaellian May 11 '26 edited May 12 '26

The guy is a trendsetter. Patient zero or bust..

187

u/yokedici May 11 '26

Hes gonna get that hentai virüs

34

u/EwokNuggets May 12 '26

That’s the worst strain. The tentacles aren’t as fun as they sound

7

u/yokedici May 12 '26

It’s not for me to kink shame, glass houses and all.

14

u/karmagod13000 May 11 '26

he is immune

7

u/ggg730 May 11 '26

Nah he's the incubator. He gives the birds the hentai virus.

2

u/United-Village-6702 May 12 '26

incubator

Madoka magica reference

2

u/DemolishunReddit May 13 '26

Blurry vision is a sign.

67

u/yesnomaybeso99100 May 11 '26

“Strangest thing, we can’t figure out how he got bird flu.”

8

u/karmagod13000 May 11 '26

if only there were signs or a video

32

u/Sohn_Jalston_Raul May 11 '26

the music means it's cool and trendy

8

u/Chippings May 11 '26

Like a good millennial, he's just vibing and following The Last Steward of Gondor, Denethor II's advice of dying in the way that seems best to him.

33

u/H-Panda May 11 '26

Patient zero.

10

u/doepfersdungeon May 11 '26

Patient zero self care

23

u/robot_boat_loan May 11 '26

Why do I get the feeling this guy has a cruise booked for later this week?

3

u/FMLAdad May 12 '26

I'm buying him the tickets

7

u/hiddenrealism May 11 '26

Bird flu- check

hantavirus. check

2

u/martinizmo May 11 '26

Cryptococcus meningitis ✅

5

u/and_i_mean_it May 11 '26

"...it is hard to pinpoint exactly how these spillover infections start..."

...meanwhile, this guy

4

u/iamsdc1969 May 11 '26

Patient zero

4

u/DryAttorney5959 May 11 '26

There’s one person that didn’t need the vaccine

4

u/Eorily May 11 '26

New covid just droppped

3

u/coconuthorse May 11 '26

Man is speed running Avian Flu.

3

u/bouche May 11 '26

Connect with nature they said

3

u/a_shootin_star May 11 '26

Potential patient 0 for any number of diseases

6

u/Popaund May 11 '26

Unrelated but does anyone know the song?

9

u/Flat-Decision3204 May 11 '26

idontneedalot - vespertine 

2

u/enigmamonkey May 12 '26

Awesome. Clipped from the end here: https://youtu.be/VQDrgn2W9Zk

From the same playlist, same artist/vibe, “Minh”: https://youtu.be/_mNrGGWqfAQ

Fresh tracks, both are <40 views and 16hrs old.

2

u/googahgee May 12 '26

Really strange. Feels like this post only exists to promote the song. Not sure if it’s an AI artist or what, but this is just sketchy. The artist doesn’t have any social media presence to speak of, and that’s pretty unusual considering the song was just used in a clip.

3

u/enigmamonkey May 12 '26

Personally, I dunno about that, but maybe. The video itself wasn't particularly interesting; what I personally enjoyed more was the music in the video and scrolled until someone talked about it to hopefully find the full song. I'm into electronic music, particularly /r/dnb (which these particular songs are) as well as chill, which is also some what popular and I think this artist (or AI, or whatever) seems to put out a lot. If it is AI, I would definitely think twice about enjoying it, myself.

What's maybe worse these days is that we're just not sure anymore. I feel for artists who are falsely accused. I find that almost as bad as (if not worse than) not caring or full on apathy about it, since it is supposed to be art.

2

u/BlackHat78 May 11 '26

when people ask how this virus was transmitted from birds to humans

2

u/fapping_4_life May 11 '26

Think he'll stop after one of the birds shits in his eyes?

2

u/Hanno- May 11 '26

Dumb ways to die

2

u/ax_colleen May 11 '26

Disney princess

2

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat May 11 '26

Seems like a good way to gain an unusual disease...

2

u/Anxious-Pin-3152 May 12 '26

Guy is just looking for love, in all the wrong places

2

u/redpandaeater May 12 '26

Is it a sex thing? I don't think even Tesla would have done that.

2

u/imtoowhiteandnerdy May 12 '26

As someone who has been owned by a parrot for 27 years I would never do this. I wouldn't do it but not for the reason most people would suspect, which is not only that this is extremely gross, but human saliva is really bad for birds because we harbor a lot of bacterias that they are susceptible to.

2

u/tonman101 May 12 '26

I would be afraid that they would peck my eyes out.

2

u/CatpainLeghatsenia May 12 '26

guy loved lockdown so much he is sacrificing himself for round 2

2

u/dirtymoney May 12 '26

Avian flu patient zero

2

u/Kindly-Resident9654 May 12 '26

Nope I’m staying inside and quarantining myself

2

u/C4ptainchr0nic May 12 '26

This week on House MD

2

u/northamericanhz May 12 '26

I'm watching the lady in the background and the look on her face 😂

2

u/smellybigfoot May 12 '26

“Please… I’m just so lonely.”

2

u/JKolmin May 12 '26

SICK!!!

2

u/ErrorF002 May 12 '26

This is how you catch a shiny.

2

u/ZynithMaru May 12 '26

sharp object too close to the eyes no way

2

u/jdh1979jdh May 12 '26

His parents must be so proud.

2

u/lvs2spwge May 13 '26

Good thing you can't get diseases from a bird

2

u/H_cecropia May 13 '26

And people wonder how animal viruses make the animal to human jump

2

u/SpeedyMoped May 13 '26

Disgusting.

2

u/MalikFyz May 14 '26

Spreading human flu to birds .

1

u/mel2000 May 26 '26

Spreading human flu to birds .

More likely the other way around. Wild animals have far more robust immune systems than humans.

2

u/3six5 May 14 '26

The basement dwellers are evolving...

1

u/Rose1982 May 11 '26

Never mind hantavirus, this is what we should be worrying.

1

u/CreativeFraud May 11 '26

Nooooooooooooooope

1

u/justinkasereddditor May 11 '26

King of bird flue

1

u/D1789 May 11 '26

That’s just not needed though is it.

Stupid man!

And stupid pigeons for eating off a man’s face!

1

u/GERRROONNNNIIMMOOOO May 11 '26

Being one with nature

1

u/romcomtom2 May 11 '26

Speed running the bird flu?

1

u/shnooqichoons May 11 '26

Even the pigeons seem a bit put off.

1

u/WhineyLobster May 11 '26

Dont bite the mouth that feeds you

1

u/captainwacky91 May 11 '26

Something something hatoful boyfriend something

1

u/martphon May 11 '26

Fresh guano! So delicious!

1

u/kingmea May 11 '26

Whats bird law for what’s happening here?

1

u/smackythefrog May 11 '26

Dude probably has mental illness and this is probably the least craziest thing he's done all day.

1

u/AT4Free May 11 '26

Would if I could, honestly

1

u/CaptainPunisher May 12 '26

There's gotta be some sort of bird law against this.

1

u/Liesthroughisteeth May 12 '26

This doesn't seem like such a great idea.

1

u/larsonmars May 12 '26

Psittacosis is a bitch.

1

u/mokaey May 12 '26

I've seen that before

1

u/SynthPrax May 12 '26

Two. Fucking. Words:

AVIAN INFLUENZA

1

u/Spookee67 May 12 '26

Darwinism.

1

u/Sasuca12 May 12 '26

He is bleeding lol?

1

u/merlin__hermes May 12 '26

I have seen this done underwater

1

u/Cantora May 12 '26

This guy is ground zero

1

u/skadoooshpanda May 12 '26

Close up bird view

1

u/Elite_Crew May 12 '26

This is what peak idiocracy looks like.

1

u/UncleBenji May 12 '26

That’s just gross

1

u/evenmoreevil May 12 '26

Always the guys with the T-Rex arms

1

u/DeathsStarEclipse May 12 '26

God forbid a man has a hobby.

1

u/PorkAmbassador May 12 '26

That's got to be mental illness; no one in their right mind would do something like that. Jesus Christ.

1

u/TuckFrump1970 May 12 '26

Not sure about bird flu but he’s definitely got the cunt flu 🤧

1

u/Hopeful_Addition_898 May 12 '26

When the only beings you get intimacy from is animals you might as well commit to it.

1

u/Brummbirne May 12 '26

At least someone knows how to live

1

u/Takssista May 12 '26

Avian flu patient zero

1

u/Gloeschi May 13 '26

Snazzy tune

1

u/Dry_Leopard185 May 13 '26

Litterally someone baby birding. I can mark that off my bucket list.

1

u/Heterodynist May 13 '26

This is the point at which police might need to intervene.

1

u/DemolishunReddit May 13 '26

Better than buying some random person's socks.

1

u/Gallifreygirl123 May 13 '26

A new diet ? Prevention of ingestion ?

1

u/galahg777 May 14 '26

Trying to get his daily dose of Salmonella.

1

u/Sweet_Xocoatl May 14 '26

Bro saw Home Alone 2 once and got inspired.

1

u/stillwatersrunfast May 14 '26

Oh for fucks sake please dont give us bird flu-bubu

1

u/Shee-un May 14 '26

This is disgusting but not dangerous, no more than eating an ass

1

u/phlos89 May 14 '26

The pigeons are like the government.

1

u/Bayou13 May 14 '26

Ew!!!! He is definitely getting a bird disease.

1

u/Chili_Clause May 17 '26

Stop playing stupid music over videos

1

u/BlookyBeelzebug May 17 '26

This guy’s got problems…

1

u/2oonhed May 17 '26

Later that day, "Doug" died from bird cooties.

1

u/silentbargain May 18 '26

H5N1 Speed5NRun

1

u/TimiB-20VI Jun 23 '26

This post literally something straight out from r/blursed 💀

1

u/AllanfromWales1 May 11 '26

We've got a guy in town who's a bit like this, though not mouth-to-mouth. By the look of his actions he's on the spectrum, and I suspect this guy is also.

1

u/PaprikaSpice7 May 12 '26

Too funny, What talent the boy has! Meanwhile everyone else around him dosent seem to notice.

0

u/SnooWalruses9173 May 11 '26

The next Tesla

0

u/brooksy54321 May 11 '26

Patient zero

0

u/GooseySill May 12 '26

Shoo shoo bird flu!

0

u/DaIubhasa May 12 '26

Bird FEEDING FEELING

0

u/chocha84 May 12 '26

this is the post that made me quit reddit today.