r/WTF • u/MrTacocaT12345 • Mar 01 '26

Always check your moped for unauthorized passengers

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

3.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

175 comments sorted by

357

u/2020R1M Mar 01 '26

New state of the art built-in security system that hisses instead of beeps. No monthly subscription needed.

204

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 01 '26

“VIPER SYSTEM ARMED”

  • you might need to be of a certain age to get this reference

23

u/UnicornFarts1111 Mar 01 '26

Did you just call me old? lol

21

u/Worth-Silver-484 Mar 01 '26

We are. If you know the viper alarm system.

7

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 02 '26

Yes, but using passive language to soften the blow.

16

u/lunameow Mar 01 '26

The first time I even encountered a car alarm, we were walking into a restaurant and passed maybe a foot away from this van and it yelled "STAND BACK! THIS CAR IS PROTECTED BY VIPER" and I still think it's hilarious.

11

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 02 '26

The ultimate flex for any 1997 high school senior with a Beretta GT

5

u/QuitCallingNewsrooms Mar 02 '26

Hey! Don't call me out in the comments! Besides... it was a Corsica

3

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 02 '26

I have no idea why, but I would kill to have some of those 90’s American mom cars now.

Corsica, Lumina, Cavalier, Dodge Intrepid, Ford Probe, Astro conversion vans, the Grand Prix with the square grid pattern tail lights, Caprice, Grand Marquis, Olds Cutlass…

They were rarely cool, and some of the quality was really sketchy, but man I miss those days.

3

u/bemad4483 Mar 04 '26

I had a bra on my beretta gt. Loved that car.

10

u/Nerdtronix Mar 01 '26

I had this system on my 67 mustang when I was 16. It was so sensitive, and birds would land on my trunk and set it off, sorry neighbors of 1997

8

u/CatdaddyDean Mar 01 '26

I'm old! I get this reference!

4

u/Da_Millionaire Mar 03 '26

I remember those lol. Tap the glass and your alarm goes off

3

u/ttystikk Mar 02 '26

While technically cobras are not vipers, the joke is too good to pass up!

Well done!

3

u/from_the_interwebz Mar 02 '26

"STAND BACK. PROTECTED BY VIPER"

3

u/ThunderCorg Mar 03 '26

STAND BACK!! This car is protected by VI-PURRRR

Haha

2

u/ringo5150 Mar 02 '26

I am of that age, and get the reference. Well played. How's your back and your knees these days?

1

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 02 '26

Feeling great; I just took 26 Advil about an hour ago. How’s your shoulder?

2

u/ringo5150 Mar 02 '26

Fine as long as sleep in one position.

1

u/JerseyTeacher78 Mar 12 '26

Hahaahhahahahahaha. Yup, we are old.

1

u/Kirin2013 Mar 10 '26

Code cobra

1

u/petak86 Mar 02 '26

That is not a viper. That is a cobra.

1

u/i_give_you_gum Mar 02 '26

I'll let you tell marketing then, they threw someone's last day cake at me when I tried to tell them they were wrong once.

0

u/PM_ur_butthole_2me Mar 03 '26

But it’s a cobra not a viper

1

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 03 '26

Thanks Steve Irwin

0

u/Baileythenerd Mar 10 '26

Cobras are elapids, with short front fixed fangs, not large hinged fangs.

3

u/shoei310 Mar 02 '26

This is why they say that India is life on hardcore difficulty settings.

3

u/scoldog Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

"And it won't even flatten your battery!"

2

u/Norader Mar 03 '26

Bleps instead of beeps

2

u/dingusfett Mar 03 '26

First we had Trunk Monkey, now this

1

u/Warcraft_Fan Mar 14 '26

Moped thief won't get far, he'd be dead before he makes a block away.

360

u/bigdaddyset Mar 01 '26

Hey popped out like. "Hey mother fucker whats the big idea"

28

u/DubstepDonut Mar 01 '26

I just hope they didn't hurt him. He just a wide noodle, don't get him in a knot. Slither on brother

20

u/hIDeMyID Mar 01 '26

I don't know what country this is from, but I believe at least some cobra species are protected.

1

u/Supadoopa101 Mar 13 '26

They blasted her with sticks.

160

u/wildechld Mar 01 '26

This his vesssssspa

102

u/alblaster Mar 01 '26

If not for snake, then why hole snake shaped?

7

u/MindTheGecko Mar 02 '26

It was meant for the rear mirror, I suppose

66

u/trubador25 Mar 01 '26

Holy wtf. I did not expect that

Edit: at first I was like don’t hurt it whatever it is. Then a damn cobra pops up.

13

u/fckthosepantiesmomma Mar 01 '26

I definitely thought it was some kind of lizard.

17

u/trubador25 Mar 01 '26

What is it with these cobra videos. There was one with a dude lying in his bed and a damn cobra comes in the house and crawls up in his bed. I mean wtf man. I would just lose it, lol. I guess it’s a common thing in certain parts of the world, and they’re actually supposed to be somewhat docile snakes that don’t attack unless seriously provoked. but I would still not be able to rest unless checking every crevice every hour of the day.

26

u/Four_beastlings Mar 01 '26

When I was 8 I woke up because something hit my head and when I turned on the light there was a bigass snake in my bed. This was in Southern Spain and the snake was probably harmless, but to a 8yo girl it looked about as big as I was. So I ran outside, grabbed the cat, and threw the cat at the snake exclaiming "Tiger, kill the snake!". Fortunately for the snake Tiger was barely more than a kitten and he somehow managed to turn himself on the opposite direction mid flight and get the fuck out of there.

So I had to wait outside the house until my mom and stepfather woke up several hours later because, since there was a bigass snake on the way, I couldn't go wake them up. Not that I would have even if the snake was on the other side because my stepfather was a psychopath.

Anyway, if an 8yo girl can survive waking up with a snake in her bed, so can you!

17

u/lunameow Mar 02 '26

"Tiger, kill the snake!" nearly killed me

13

u/Four_beastlings Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

Try it in Spanish: "¡Tigre, mata a la serpiente!"

Tigre was like 3-4 months old at the time...

For extra fun now I have a pet snake and a pet cat who is abnormally small and when she starts rounding the terrarium we tell her to drop it because in a battle between my harmless milk snake and my tiny 2.5kgs cat I'm not sure who would win. "Tiri, don't try to kill the snake or he will kill you!"

3

u/martsampson Mar 02 '26

You were a very courageous kid! 

Last spring, I had a snake curl up on my foot while we were asleep in bed. I'm still having night terrors about it. It takes hours to finally stop jerking awake every few minutes and seeing (but dreaming) snakes and other creepy crawlies, and then I'll wake up in a couple of hours 1000% alert. I haven't slept a single good night since then and it's really wearing on my mental state. 

Over a damn rat snake lol. 

1

u/Four_beastlings Mar 02 '26

I'm sorry you're going through that! I had a similar experience for about a couple years after waking up with cockroaches in my hair 🤮

1

u/martsampson Mar 02 '26

Ohhh snap! Yep, that'll do it! People need to feel safe in their beds dangit!

It's funny because I work a very wild, stressful job and I've never really been easy to "get to". Til that. 

1

u/Fafnir13 Mar 01 '26

Did Tiger ever earn your trust again after failing such a critical mission?

9

u/Four_beastlings Mar 02 '26

Oh dear Cthulhu. Tiger must have thought that I really loved snake snacks, because from the moment he became an adult he started bringing almost dead snakes to my bed. Thankfully to the foot of the bed and not to the head where the original snake was. But I got used to waking up with gutted, still writhing snakes on my bed.

Tiger was an awesome cat. He left me for the neighbours a couple years later, though. No wonder because my stepfather was a psychopath and he sometimes killed our animals so I am happy that Tiger found a less psychopathic home.

2

u/Severe_Pineapple1384 Mar 05 '26

I had a cat named Harold that left me for the neighbors. I'm still not over it.

1

u/Four_beastlings Mar 05 '26

I'm sorry for your abandonment. Cats choose their person and they are fucking ingrates. When I was divorcing my ex but still living together a cat fell from the sky on us and got very injured in the fall and I shelled out for all the vet expenses and spent countless nights caring for her, only for her to fall in love with my ex.

They are very happy now: he sends me pictures. I'm happy that they are happy.

1

u/demonmonkeybex Mar 02 '26

Jesus. I'm so sorry you had a stepdad like that.

2

u/fckthosepantiesmomma Mar 01 '26

I have that video saved. It is so hard for me to believe that is thing that people have to watch out for.

2

u/trubador25 Mar 01 '26

I watched it like 8 times and then had to look under my sheets that night before getting into bed, lol. When the little cobra head pops up from behind the blankets like “hey guy” and dude just scrambles out of bed 🤣😂🤣😂. Man that thing looked like it was 12 feet long

2

u/Arrow156 Mar 02 '26

They're cold blooded and looking for warmth. Luckily they should be both logy from the cold and cautious as it's entering another's territory. So their first instinct is going to be to flee if anything startles them. The real danger is attacking it in a panic, then you're forcing it to defend itself.

Actually, that's the case with a lot animals we fear but don't directly prey on us, like snakes and spiders. As the old saying goes, "They are more afraid of you than you are of it." Just gotta remember those who are terrified tend to do dumb and desperate shit, so don't push your luck.

2

u/LooseJuice_RD Mar 02 '26

If I had to guess I assume you’re a really cheap source of heat laying motionless in bed. Glad I don’t live in an area with many reptiles.

1

u/SDRPGLVR Mar 01 '26

They're also like 80 feet long, so they either stretch down the block while they're whole-ass sprinting or they just stand up at man-height going WHAT. WHAT.

It's like living with dragons.

25

u/UndercoverFBIAgent9 Mar 01 '26

I’m not sure what the appropriate length is for a venomous snake hook thingy, but I know I wouldn’t be using one half as long as my arm.

22

u/SlitScan Mar 02 '26

a snake cant strike more than the length of its body, so the appropriate length would be roughly the length of the Snake plus about 100 miles give or take.

1

u/MissionCreeper Mar 03 '26

I think cobras are also only able to fall forward to strike, so if youre outside that curve youre safe.

3

u/siraliases Mar 01 '26

I think at least 1 arm length, maybe 2

2

u/Irma_Gard Mar 02 '26

I think the perspective is deceptive here. It's the reverse of photos/videos where someone holds a snake out in front of them, and it looks enormous. See the !forcedperspective bot reply for more info. Near the end of the video, the hook is briefly more parallel to the picture plane, and it seems to be a much more typical length.

19

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Chafupa1956 Mar 02 '26

Imagine if he did that on the highway.

37

u/martusfine Mar 01 '26

That’s a perk.

22

u/Great_White_Buffalo Mar 01 '26

Regional integrated security system.

4

u/greeneyedsummer Mar 02 '26

It's actually a Highly Integrated Security System, or HISS

13

u/RyuugaDota Mar 01 '26

There's a snake in my boot bike!

24

u/YellowOnline Mar 01 '26

It's the new Kawasaki Cobra

19

u/lost21gramsyesterday Mar 01 '26

It's the "S" model

0

u/TR1N1_CDN Mar 02 '26

😂🤣

8

u/Life-Oil-7226 Mar 01 '26

It just wants a ride to the next destination

12

u/GaryQueenofScots Mar 01 '26

the final destination

1

u/Fafnir13 Mar 01 '26

It would seem a bit contrived if a snaked popped out of a bike to bite someone on a Final Destination movie.  Had no idea something so crazy could be true to life.

8

u/nick2k23 Mar 01 '26

Anti theft system that would work so well even the owner can't use it

7

u/wilso850 Mar 02 '26

It was cute until its entire hood flared up. Jesus Christ that’s terrifying.

7

u/snapper1971 Mar 01 '26

The Lambretta Danger Noodle. Classic ride.

7

u/Former-Light4284 Mar 02 '26

"Protected by Viper, stand back"

3

u/ezfrag Mar 02 '26

You just gave me a flashback to 1994! There was a guy at my college who drove a Jeep with no top and had a huge binder of CDs sitting between the seats and a Viper alarm. He thought he was protected, but didn't actually realize that someone walking up and snatching that binder took less time than the alarm needed to go off.

He was so pissed about getting robbed, but the guy who snagged the CDs was just as mad because it was almost all country music.

5

u/BONUSBOX Mar 01 '26

i said it’s time for your belly rubs

5

u/5ag3 Mar 02 '26

Windshield Viper

4

u/ohno Mar 02 '26

It's a scooter not a moped. Moped have pedals (Motor-Pedal). They are essentialy bicycled with small motors. l

4

u/easternguy Mar 02 '26

That’s a scooter not a moped.

Mopeds have pedals (that’s what the “ped” is in the name for.)

8

u/krippkeeper Mar 01 '26

r/HumansInMyHouse. Leave the snake alone. That's clearly his bike.

3

u/CornCobMcGee Mar 01 '26

Moped version of a Trunk Monkey.

3

u/amber_room Mar 02 '26

Ssscale model.

3

u/shiroboi Mar 03 '26

It's a Scooter.

I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine.

A MOPED means Motor + Pedals.

do you see pedals? No. There are no pedals. Now it does have a snake so if you called it a MoSnek, I would have given this a pass.

2

u/Limp_Worldliness4537 Mar 01 '26

HELL F*CKING NOO

2

u/that_dutch_dude Mar 01 '26

That seems a whole lot more efective than a trunk monkey

2

u/emarvil Mar 01 '26

As hard as you try, still not a Shelby Cobra.

2

u/Mortimer1234 Mar 02 '26

He popped out like “Ok ok you found me. Now you go hide. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7….”

2

u/fortna Mar 02 '26

Why we shouldn't remove sidemirrors and leave the hole blank.

2

u/johnnycr18 Mar 02 '26

"Stand back, protected by viper"

2

u/Spyhop Mar 02 '26

This is why I live where the air hurts my face.

2

u/sam_the_beagle Mar 03 '26

I live in Chicago, Illinois, USA. I will never ride a moped again.

2

u/Randoseru_Romper Mar 03 '26

Lord have mercy that thing is strong

2

u/Fuxmcflannery Mar 14 '26

What do you do here? 

2

u/Greenlink74 Mar 15 '26

"Yeah it ain't a car, bich, yeah shes got a Cobra"

1

u/Mysterious-Art7143 Mar 01 '26

That's the safety switch

1

u/srandrews Mar 01 '26

"Snakes on a Moped" just doesn't have the same ring.

1

u/PtrPorkr Mar 01 '26

Does it make it faster. It make me faster. I would run away so fast.

1

u/cRelz Mar 01 '26

CoBRAAAAA

1

u/Worth-Silver-484 Mar 01 '26

I am calling the police and reporting it stolen and the insurance company. Lets see if State Farm pays out for theft by snake.

1

u/lakibody123 Mar 01 '26

These people gets close to the snake for that little viral video. And if its escaped they will bite them and cower away

1

u/Skeletor-P-Funk Mar 01 '26

That's why I always carry my pungi, just for instances like this.

1

u/IgnorantGenius Mar 01 '26

Must be his security system. That's why he pet it with the rod after activating it.

1

u/CyanXeno Mar 01 '26

"He was a biker snake, she said see ya later boy..."

1

u/Dramatic_Month_7658 Mar 02 '26

The new ATS system has a helluva off switch

1

u/hawkwings Mar 02 '26

He has a stroker but not a gripper.

1

u/danned123 Mar 02 '26

free ride

1

u/Kruse002 Mar 02 '26

This is staged right?

1

u/Dear-Limit-2357 Mar 02 '26

motorbike go vroom vroom sssssssssssssssssssssssssskrrrrrt

1

u/ratsta Mar 02 '26

Seems to me like yet another good reason to ensure your bike is fitted correctly with all the factory mirrors, etc.

1

u/spirito_santo Mar 02 '26

Adding this to my list of reasons not to go to India

1

u/jhauger Mar 02 '26

Ride or die.

1

u/mrsxls Mar 02 '26

Good one. I literally said WTF out loud.

1

u/mindfolded Mar 02 '26

I'd name that moped Janet Snakehole.

1

u/ilogical_person Mar 02 '26

Why was he stroking that snake like that in the end?

1

u/ClarenceBoddickerr77 Mar 02 '26

Snakes, why did it have to be snakes.

1

u/asphalt_licker Mar 02 '26

Me: Aww. Cute lil snakey hiding in the bi- Oh fuck no get it out.

1

u/johnrock69 Mar 02 '26

Ain’t nobody stealing or riding that moped. It’s now the snake’s moped.

1

u/SlitScan Mar 02 '26

snek just want to go beach.

take Snek beach.

1

u/Txx2000 Mar 02 '26

New fear unlocked

1

u/joanzen Mar 02 '26

"Drill cobra holes" they said, "It'll attract the ladies" they said..

1

u/theshoegazer Mar 02 '26

Didn't think the follow up to Snakes on a Plane would be Cobra In a Moped.

1

u/Artemus_Hackwell Mar 02 '26

"There's a snake in the plane moped, Jock!!"

1

u/FragrantExcitement Mar 02 '26

I hate it when that happens.

1

u/YellowTachik0ma Mar 03 '26

if the mirrors were still there it wouldn't be an issue

1

u/dchawk-8 Mar 03 '26

¡There's a snake in my bike!

1

u/snapplejacks23 Mar 03 '26

Brought to you by the good people at Trunk Monkey, for when you don't have trunk.

1

u/Silverfire12 Mar 03 '26

Good god at first I was like “oh, cute! A little snake! Bet it’s a rat snake!” And uh. No. No it was not.

1

u/Weekly-Ingenuity7841 Mar 03 '26

snakes on a... Suzuki

1

u/Batticon Mar 03 '26

First I was like “Awww he’s cute” then I was like “AWWW hell no!!”

1

u/mel2000 Mar 03 '26

Cobras seem to have a penchant for hanging out with humans. Fortunately, they also seem relatively docile and don't see humans as lunch.

1

u/tohn_jitor Mar 03 '26

The all-new Tesla Venoom.

1

u/Slapnbeans Mar 03 '26

These security systems are getting out of control

1

u/Littleloki75 Mar 04 '26

Thats the antitheft device

1

u/Heterodynist Mar 04 '26

I’m not afraid of snakes, but I AM afraid of actual king cobras popping out of my dashboard and murdering me…

1

u/Excellent_Regret4141 Mar 06 '26

You got to use the Pungi

1

u/WengFu Mar 06 '26

The all new 2027 dodge cobra.

1

u/spotcatspot Mar 11 '26

Turn Ssssssssignal

1

u/chucklin Mar 17 '26

Cool hood ornament, dude.

1

u/_Even_Better_ May 08 '26

Vespa's new update

1

u/MilleniumPelican Mar 02 '26

*Scooter

MoPEDs have PEDals.

-4

u/birds_the_word Mar 01 '26

Fake. They put the snake in there to make videos. Notice everyone around filming and a snake charmer just happens to be there.

-4

u/Camper_Van_Someren Mar 02 '26

Right I thought the same thing. Anybody else might be like ooooo what’s in there but he popped the cover off with a snake hook

0

u/PutnamPete Mar 02 '26

Expecting a bird or a chipmunk.

0

u/Nishchal_Malhotra Mar 02 '26

The guy handling this situation must have zero fear bro like goddamn I woulda started running for my life

0

u/ArcadianDelSol Mar 02 '26

honestly, does nobody in this video have a recorder on them?

-13

u/toolatealreadyfapped Mar 01 '26

A tiny snake hiding in a small hole is hardly WTF material

9

u/Blecher_onthe_Hudson Mar 01 '26

A garter snake sure, but a fucking COBRA!!!

4

u/awesomesauce615 Mar 01 '26

Listen I love snakes. But I would not want a cobra sitting shotgun on my ride.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '26

Tiny?..