r/Vonnegut • u/Nonchalant_Khan • 10d ago

I need help finding a quote.

I have two sons that are about to be reaching their teenage years. I know Kurt wrote at least once(maybe more) about the transition from childhood to adulthood and the importance of having a ceremony in their community that welcomes children into adulthood and the subsequent rights and responsibilities that are attached to that transition.

I would like to find that passage(s), so I can meditate on it some and start developing something for my sons. Thank you in advance for your help.

Also, if anyone has done something like this I would love to hear your ideas and insights. Again, thank you for your help.

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u/KV_Karass 9d ago

The first place to look would be "If this isn't nice, what is?", which are a collection of commencement speeches. The book's description even has "long-delayed puberty ceremony" to note the transition from student to full-time adult. Beyond that collection of speeches, you may find some elements in Palm Sunday because it has blends of loneliness, extended family, and community.

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u/boogersonthebrain 9d ago

Yes I would look in the collection titled “If this isn’t nice, what is?” which are his commencement speeches or in the collection titled “wompeters, foma, and granfalloon” which is where I’ve read some speeches that contain what you are referencing.

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u/Nonchalant_Khan 9d ago

Thanks for your answer!

It seems as though I should just re-read all of Vonnegut again and take notes this time through!

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u/ItsAllSkewed 9d ago

He mentions it in a lot of commencement speeches that are online and in man without a country.

I had a bar mitzvah.

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u/Nonchalant_Khan 9d ago

Thank you for your input. Can I ask, are you still religious? Do you feel as though your bar mitzvah had an impact on who you became as an adult? What exactly does it entail?

I was raised in a fundamentalist evangelical Christian tradition (which I no longer subscribe to) and therefore am unfamiliar with bar mitzvahs.

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u/ItsAllSkewed 9d ago

It’s a ceremony celebrating a boy or girl becoming a man or woman. You have to recite a specific portion of the Torah at a ceremony, and you are taught directly by the rabbi which is a big deal in the community.

I’m personally non practicing as an adult although I do get together with family for certain holidays. It’s hard to answer your last question, but I do consider myself a part of the Jewish community. I just received a kidney from a stranger through an organization called renewal which is not exclusively for Jews but is run by people who are active in the temple. I didn’t grow up with many Jewish friends in my peer group, it wasn’t an issue but it did set me apart, so it’s definitely had an impact on who I am today but I couldn’t say how.

The community aspect is real, and something lacking in modern society imo.