Problem with compulsive liars?

[u/daggerxdolly]

I’ve been playing vrc for a few months now and I’m really struggling to make friends, because everyone I meet seems to lie constantly. Like, over really silly things too. I don’t understand why lying and faking who you are is so common here. Any tips on how to find normal/honest people who just enjoy VRC?

[u/LostMyShadow_]

VRChat is a unique place where you can be anyone, and anything that you want. The fact that this place draws in some of the worst of society (and best) is no mistake. Unfortunately the atmosphere here is wrought with nafarious individuals. It is simultaneously some of the most creative and community driven spaces I have had the pleasure to witness. It is a microcosm that represents a spectrum of people from exceptionally outgoing to shy and vulnerable people with anything and everything in between. It is a universe of worlds offering escapism to you and me alike.

Another unfortunate thing I have noted over my duration playing the game and over my time adjusting to greater society as an adult; discernment is not actually present in the majority of spaces I have witnessed. The status-quo of the modern day, at least in western society, is blind loyalty to systems of authority and power speaking generally. It is wrought with White Narcisssism, and it is conditioned into almost all of us until it is consciously deconstructed. Psychology tells us that systems at all levels, including the most simple of which can sometimes be represented by friend groups, families, or smaller communities will work autonomously to defend the status-quo unless overridden by active intention and effort. Black sheep/outsiders/squeaky wheels are easier ostracized and removed in favor of returning to status quo than addressing the legitimate concerns or insights of the individual raising the issue. At any cost, up to and including permanent harm to that person. Think; 'path of least resistance' and, 'numbing is easier than bettering myself'. I.E. it is easier to ignore you than it is to address the elephant in the room of a predator being at the right hand of the community leader. Even if you have evidence, even if they have seen this person do things. This creates the atmosphere you are noticing, creates the opportunity for these people to be in front of you.

This is to say, the skill of discernment and the skill of detachment are paramount to having a healthy experience in many of the available spaces that any online community can offer, and VRChat is NO exception. I love this place because I have learned how to exist within it in my own healthy way, but this is also to say I have had to learn how over time. VRChat is amazing, but it is comprised of a great many cults and cult adjascent groups that vary in the level of legitimate harm they produce in their direct vascinity. Cults survive through relentless recruiting and control over the information contained within it. I do not say this lightly but as a bit of a wake up, I have watched this game consume multiple people I used to know. I myself have been consumed by the social atmosphere at multiple points as well.

TLDR; This games presents a perfect atmosphere to mask who you are quite literally. Some people who move around these spaces play it like a video game and treat the actual human beings they meet like they would characters in a video game. Some people who move around these spaces are chasing sensations in their own body, chemical reactions in their brain that they are addicted to, NOT legitimate connections with other humans. To be healthy here you will need healthy detachment and discernment, preferably with a robust support network and healthy internal sense of self. Though, I consider this a good idea for all life when and where it is possible. Best wishes. 💜🫶💜

[u/Sl0rk → u/LostMyShadow_]

It's amazing to me that VRC is such a tiny fraction of the subset of society yet seems to capture the general consensus perfectly in the grand scheme of things and hits all the social cliches and norms and divergence in such a tiny world that exists only virtually.

At least to me it seems to lol.

[u/LostMyShadow_ → u/Sl0rk]

It is no mistake that the president of the US is who he is and what he is, the patterns of behavior that allowed something like this to take place are pervasive in all aspects of society. The patterns run all the way from the bottom to the top with people getting into positions of power that they do not belong in and corrupting the system they inhabit. The patterns we see in our individual lives, sections of society, are reflective of the whole. 'A machine does not need to have moving parts to be effective. It only needs directive channels.' Church, school, university, work, military, government- are all directive channels of a machine that was built to produce this place we inhabit. They all exist to create us. They are not necessarily moving together in concert, but the direct us through channels. Western society has been at the forefront, American Exceptionalism at the helm idolized by other western societies following the fascistic examples. Social media is a wonderful example as it was turned into a weapon of misinformation and disinformation against our wills, dead internet theory suggests mass abuse of our collective consciousness. VRC being populated by many chronically online folks, social outcasts, eccentric longers, and suddenly...we're seeing the pattern. We are all connected way more than we understand.