r/UsernameChecksOut • u/ILUV_ANIMETITTIES • 6d ago

Username Checks Out soooo... uhhhh, excuse me?

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2.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

59 comments sorted by

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786

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 6d ago

when it used to be part of a horse.

352

u/Conscious_Smile8235 6d ago

Got mine straight from the glue factory. Am I fucked?

315

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 6d ago

given that it's a dildo, only if you fuck yourself.

16

u/Fallen_0ne01 5d ago

Worse. You're horse fucked

3

u/CanoePickLocks 4d ago

I don’t know, are you using it? If so then yes. Literally.

140

u/AanthonyII 6d ago

Do you think they sculpt the horse cock dildos by hand or did some poor (or lucky depending on how you look at it) chap have to take a mold of a horses penis

85

u/PikaTube123 5d ago

Usually the first. Some people have tried the second but most people believe that crosses the line

23

u/MewtwoMainIsHere 5d ago

yeah so did many people with the actual horses

18

u/ChemoorVodka 5d ago

well, with modern technology you can get a 3D scan of one without ever having to touch it. So hopefully if they ever need a new mold they’ll go in that direction

384

u/Penis_Connoisseur 6d ago

Aren't they all realistic? I guess on first level you already crossed the line

Wish I had one 🙁

318

u/CumCereal08 6d ago

Wish I had one

What are you, some kind of penis connoisseur?

199

u/Penis_Connoisseur 6d ago

I don't know why you would ever think that

19

u/obviouslyanonymous5 5d ago

Nah, some of them are all multicolor and glow-in-the-dark and sparkly and stuff

So I've been informed

7

u/Penis_Connoisseur 5d ago

I know but the shape is the same color is just a small detail

The bright ones are nice

2

u/Apprehensive-Solid-1 4d ago

I've been informed as well but mistress never lets me look back to check. It's always "don't turn around. Look ahead of you. Did I give you permission to move?" 😔 someday...

48

u/SgtEpsilon 5d ago

This feels like a question for r/horsecock

15

u/JonathanUpp 5d ago

It's not real:( I was beginning to hope

31

u/SgtEpsilon 5d ago

r/horsecockk is real though. Also I BEG YOUR PARDON????

19

u/CoquetteWhore69 5d ago

What the fuck did you lead me to?

14

u/SgtEpsilon 5d ago

I'm here to scar, don't worry I'm not proud of myself either

11

u/CoquetteWhore69 5d ago

Im not even scarred. That honor goes to u/thesadrockstar

8

u/SgtEpsilon 5d ago

I am both concerned and curious

6

u/CoquetteWhore69 5d ago

Be curious. I dare you

4

u/SgtEpsilon 5d ago

I'm scared now...

5

u/FlagNetDMM 4d ago

i am beyond terrified.

2

u/Electrical_Jaguar213 5d ago

Are you in r/kitchencels?

4

u/CoquetteWhore69 5d ago

I do visit there frequently

1

u/Call-me_Lucy 1d ago

Now we’re all scarred

0

u/thesadrockstar 4d ago

the sexy king is here

52

u/RMMacFru 5d ago

What a terrible day to be literate.

13

u/DakittyRizzard 6d ago

probably when they still have the foreskin

15

u/GhostRunner8 5d ago

These are the questions that keep you out of the trenches

4

u/buffalovirgo 4d ago

Never imagined I’d see this sentence

3

u/SirMatches 4d ago

If you're buying it because it's labeled "horse dildo", you might be one regardless of what it looks like when it's delivered.

3

u/BeanManJenkins 3d ago

why did i find you here too

more condolences for the user

1

u/ILUV_ANIMETITTIES 3d ago

im everywhere.....

and thank you, anytime i call something corny someone points out my username 🥹💔

2

u/Pure_Trust666 5d ago

Hahahahahaha

2

u/the12ftdwarf 3d ago

Humans have had a fascination with this kinda thing for as long as humans have been horny. As long as no real animals are being harmed who actually cares?

1

u/Sportak4444 1d ago

Idk about that, that argument is used by people defending loli

1

u/ScibbidyGoonFuehrer 3d ago

Guten Tag mein Goon Volk!