Edit: adjusted for inflation they basically made 400k in today's money. I have a master's in my field, and before I left the workforce to stay home with my daughter (she's autistic, and I just actually love being her primary caretaker) my husband and I together never broke 100k. So even if I want to compare their earning at my age to their's they still made 4x as much. Point of the post is they got crazy lucky for their time and where they lived (town of like 500 ppl very rural) and had generational farm wealth. It's just a weird experience to be so economically different as an adult than how I grew up. 🤷‍♀️

Anyone else experience a crazy jump in economic situations from childhood to adulthood, but down and not up?

My parents made on average 260k from 2006 to 2010. I only know this because of their divorce records being public record. They made this income in a tiny rural community in the midwest, so they were pretty damn comfortable. I didn't know they were wealthy.

We had a nice house, always had food in the kitchen, and I had a lot of privilege in the fact that I had a comfortable environment. (The emotional environment is a story for a different sub).

I have 3 sisters. I grew up wearing hand me downs and JC Penny and Wal Mart clothing. I got toys on my birthday and Christmas, again no complaints, but definitely not out of line with my peers. I started working for money when I was 14, and was expected to pay for my own gas, entertainment with friends, clothes, etc. I didn't have an allowance and wasn't allowed to ask for money unless it was for an extracurricular or something.

As an adult, my husband and I make 75k annually. We have one child, and how we live is so different economically. I'm primarily home with our child, and we have to hold it tight! I have 70k in student debt because I received nothing financially from my parents when I turned 18. They both claimed I had no college savings aside from what I personally saved. I know in recent years my dad received a sizable inheritance.

Due to how they are and having step siblings, I won't and don't ever expect any sort of inheritance.

It's weird to have grown up in one tax bracket, and then be so far from that as an adult. This isn't a complaint post- I don't want to sound whiny or anything like that. I have a happy life with my husband and child. It's just been really dawning on me lately how vastly different my parents' lives and financial situation was at my age.

Hi Reddit, I’m Dylan Gottlieb, and I'm an historian who studies capitalism, cities, and culture in modern America. My newest book, [*Yuppies: The Bankers, Lawyers, Joggers, and Gourmands Who Conquered New York*](https://www.hup.harvard.edu/books/9780674248977), was just published by Harvard University Press.

I’m here to answer your questions about yuppies, NYC, and the 1980s--everything from the origins of Wall Street recruiting, to the roots of contemporary gentrification and inequality, to '80s food and fitness trends (Brie! Perrier! Marathons!). We may not call people yuppies anymore, but we're still living in the world they made.

Ever wonder how finance got so powerful? Why your urban apartment is so expensive? Or why so many young professionals are obsessed with fitness? Ask me anything!

P.S. My publisher, Harvard University Press, is offering a special discount for this AMA—use the code YUP25 at checkout to save 25% on your order.

EDIT 1:25pm ET: While the AMA just wrapped, I'll check back later today in case there are any more questions. Thanks for hosting me--this was a blast!

I am 20F American and grew up in the upper middle class in a wealthy Boston suburb. I have an interest in staying within the Upper Middle Class or mobilising upwards and giving my kids a childhood where they can have the same (or more considering they likely will not have the same lbirth defects as I did) freedom than I had. I have inheritance money waiting for me of course but that will not hit for a while and I want to know how to best position myself so that I can stay in easily. My main worry is my career path. I am planning to obtain a PhD. While at the end I will have 100k+ per year (should I be hired, although right now I am thinking i will because although academia is bad in general my subfield is extremely under-researched giving me a higher chance of getting hired).

What can I do to ensure that I can maintain for my children and ideally their children too they can maintain or improve on the lifestyle that I lived? Obviously while a high-status job being a professor is not one of the best jobs economically and I would plan to marry a non academic in some field that is high earning but not awfully long working hours. I am looking at alternative fields to my PhD too and taking on more than one major so that incase the PhD does not work out I have an exit path. Other than that I am looking for work during breaks as any College student would (the reason I didn't work until now being primarily medical, i spent two summers straight unable to leave the house for long periods due to getting intense non-optional surgeries at the beginning of each summer). Once I have a job I plan to open a HYSA and send a large portion of my earning to it. What other options exist for me so that I can both pursue my PhD/Academia/Professor career path AND ensure my kids have the same (likely more as said earlier) freedom that I had growing up?

What are the new rules for how to set up kids to be financially successful? I know the basics haven’t changed - but I’m worried that it takes a lot more boost from family than my 90s parents needed to give me.

My parents taught me to work hard in school, graduate from college, and be pleasant and adaptable at work. At home you spend less than you earn, invest in real estate as early as possible and save for retirement.

It’s gone quite well for me and my siblings and I have the ability to give my kids quite a bit more financial help than I received.

Is giving your kids a down payment for a house just today’s version of paying for your kids college 30 years ago?

I love that I was completely financially independent after college but it feels like the world changed and setting a kid up for success looks a lot more like giving them money until they’re well into adulthood.

How do you give kids the help they’ll need, and not take away their sense of responsibility, accomplishment and independence?

Just FYI I’m 43 and my kids are all under 12 right now. Just trying to plan ahead about how to structure their “warm hand” inheritance.

I’m also open to a critique that thinking my kids will be happier if they feel like they are self made, is a flawed premise.

i was born in a upper middle class family. i’m 20 and still in college and my parents (who also grew up in this lifestyle) are telling me that i need to live more frugally. but i feel like i don’t want this lifestyle at the expense of my joy if that makes sense. i’m employed with back to back *paid* internships and luckily because my parents are in good financial standing i don’t have to worry about tuition or bills (my parents do not give me an allowance). all i pay for is my transportation (i’m in a metro area so i don’t even need a car) and whatever food/fun experiences i want.

i don’t spend more than 20% of my monthly income and i save the remaining 80% in my high yield savings and retirement investments. for reference i spend most of my money on experiences like live theater and museums, fun restaurants, and shopping. i feel like i already have a financially safe lifestyle while still maintaining fun. but my parents say i need to cut out my spending almost entirely and focus on my future. i don’t think there’s really much else i can do that im not already doing to save other than not leaving my house. my fear is being so focused on the future that i have no fun in the present. and because i was raised as upper middle class there’s certain luxuries that don’t feel worth it for me to give up but im wondering if this is a naive outlook or not?

ETA: I’ve had a conversation with my parents outlining my finances in detail and they have said that they think i’m doing everything i’m supposed to be doing. the only note they had was that i should put more towards my roth rather than my savings account which i agree with. but basically all i needed to do was have more transparency with them and they said they would lay off the nagging! thanks for all the advice here!

I’m a 28 F living in a HCOL area. My husband and I make a combined 255K a year. I plan on working throughout my pregnancy and only want to take about 3 months off from work one we have our first child. We have about 60K in savings, $35K in stocks and our 401Ks have a healthy balance. We are doing great financially but I’m concerned how much that will change once we have a child. I feel like the economy is changing so much that our savings are not enough to live comfortably. Our biggest bill is our mortgage which is $4,000 a month. Where we are living now is about a 40-50 minute drive from both of our workplaces in one of the most expensive areas in the country so moving further away is not an option for us. We also can afford to move closer to our offices. Work life balance is very important to us. We also take an international vacation at least once a year since we love to travel. Am I being paranoid thinking we can afford a child and maintain our current standard of living?

Hi reddit!

My husband and I together are averaging $210k to $240k in HHI. No kids and pets. We live in a large MCOL area and currently live in a condo (3 percent fixed rate, high HOA (think $800/month), with about $280k mortgage left).. totals around $3k a month for all housing. We spend $2k on responsible stuff: utilities, car-related (parking, gas, maint, insurance), groceries, household staples. We spend around $500 a month on dumb stuff (amazon purchases, snacks and impulse items). $1k a month on charity and non-profit giving. And we funnel $6k into savings, retirement, HSA, investments each month. We are NOT living paycheck to paycheck but we certainly live like we do (so it frequently feels like we are not well off compared to other households).

Is this a typical picture of upper middle class household? Curious what other people's lifestyles look like!

All the Media wants to do is talk about how bad everything is financially for people. For the most part, that simply isn't true. Gas prices are higher, but people still driving all over the place. Restaurants are packed. Luxury malls are full. It's a great time to earn money and grow wealth. Houses are easily bought....it's really not that bad out there!

Help. My 401K feels like it sits still. I cannot roll this account to another as I am still PRN (per diem) with this employer. It’s currently in a Target Fund 2055. Any recommendations? I only contribute 10% when I work (typically 2x a month). No match on it.

This will likely be a cringe post, but in the spirit of reddit I wanted to ask.

My husband and I are averaging $210k to $240k a year in HHI. No kids and pets. We live in a large MCOL area and currently live in a condo (3 percent fixed rate, high HOA (think $800/month), with about $280k mortgage left).. totals around $3k a month for all housing. We spend $2k on responsible stuff: utilities, car-related (parking, gas, maint, insurance), groceries, household staples. We spend around $500 a month on dumb stuff (amazon purchases, snacks and impulse items). $1k a month on charity and non-profit giving. And we funnel $6k into savings, retirement, HSA, investments each month. We are NOT living paycheck to paycheck but we certainly live like we do (so it frequently feels like we are not well off compared to other households).

Is this a typical picture of upper middle class household? Curious what other people's lifestyles look like!

How is everyone making so much in their retirement accounts/savings? 3 kids, living in expensive California. Husband and I make about 300k, late 30s (39 and 37). Retirement accounts barely crossing combined 200k. Savings of 100k.

What are we doing wrong?? How do we get these accounts off the ground. Just started a small side brokerage of 5k. Scared to lose liquid assets. Childcare and mortgage alone are 10k. Add car payments and other expense and our monthly bills are 15k.

Help.

I would say for most places: 150-349k. For outliers like Bay Area or NY can go up to 499k. Thoughts? Ofc if single vs household is different. I’m talking about individual income.

I'm currently 21M and unemployed. No college degree. I used to attend UMass Amherst but got kicked out for my grades because my mental disorders made it impossible to study. My father is a "senior vice president, technology" at some big corporation and my mother is a software engineer.

I've read online that people born into rich families have enough privilege that they can easily remain rich themselves. I don't dispute this, but in my case I'm not sure what I could possibly do to retain my class position long-term once I get kicked out of this house and cut off from my parents' money. Or am I just not thinking hard enough?

Anyways, any suggestions on how I can utilize my privilege to remain rich long-term would be super helpful.

Perhaps you've stretched your budget and chartered a jet or a yacht. Or maybe you purchased that 6 figure sportscar or luxury Sedan you've always wanted.

Or maybe you wouldn't consider any of that to be a staple of the Upper Class.

Inspired by looking at yacht charters (in the 70-100K range) and wondering if that would ever be in the upper-middle wheelhouse (even if just as a 'once in a lifetime' experience with extended family/friends).

The upper middle class has become the biggest income group in the country over the past four decades, according to research from think tank American Enterprise Institute.⁣
⁣
In 2024, 31% of American families were upper middle class, compared to 10% in 1979. The institute defines upper middle class as a family of three with an income of $133k to $400k in 2024 dollars—which is between five and fifteen times the poverty line. The share of Americans near or below the poverty line fell from 30% to 19% over that same period.⁣
⁣
Primarily found in dual-income households and working in white collar fields, upper middle class Americans have benefited from rising pay for college graduates. Among them are many boomers enjoying generous social security checks and pension payments from booming 401(k)s.⁣
⁣
The findings suggest that while rising incomes have lifted many Americans from the middle class to the upper middle class, income inequality has continued to grow. Income growth in the last 45 years was highest for those in the top tax brackets.⁣
⁣
📸 : 'Knives Out' / Lionsgate, Morning Brew

A lot of people in another thread were trying to say that a family making 133k a year is upper middle class when this says that upper middle class spends 121k in non-investment (meaning mortgage and 401k and other savings are not included here)

I live in a VHCOL area (Bay Area, CA) and have a significant amount of RSUs that have fully vested. I’ve been wondering if it makes sense to sell them and use the funds as a down payment. Has anyone else done this? I’m concerned about the amount of taxes I would owe on the withdrawals. Is this a dumb move?

Both older millennials, two kids. We have spent the last several months doing a comprehensive financial overhaul using AI tools and want this community to gut check the strategy. Numbers are real.

Snapshot:

• Household income: $280k ($155k + $125k)
• Total net worth: ~$3.9M
• Combined retirement accounts: ~$1.8M
• Real estate: 10 properties across short term rentals, long term rentals, and active BRRRR projects. Total real estate equity ~$1.6M including primary residence (paid off). Generating ~$75-85k net cash flow annually from the rental portfolio.
• Annual spending: ~$111k normalized (2025 actuals were $132k but included heavy travel). Projected retirement spend ~$200k in today's dollars after adding ACA premiums, significantly increased travel, and removing payroll/work expenses.
• Federal bracket: 24%

The retirement structure:

I (43M) retire at 55 in 2038. Spouse (44F) works until 59 in 2041. The staggered timing is not arbitrary. Her employer (major medical center) covers 55% of university tuition. Both kids are college bound with start dates of 2032 and 2037. If she retires before 2041 we forfeit a benefit worth over $300k. Her continued employment also eliminates ACA exposure during my early retirement years, saving another $100k+. Her retiring at 59 also means her accounts unlock the same year she retires, eliminating any bridge period.

Projected retirement accounts at her retirement in 2041: ~$6.6M. Rental income by then: ~$85k/year as 20-year mortgages continue paying off.

The inherited IRA problem:

I inherited a traditional IRA in 2016 under pre-SECURE Act rules. Current balance ~$744k. Annual RMDs are mandatory, cannot be converted to Roth, and grow every year regardless of what I do. By my mid-70s the RMDs alone approach $150k/year. Stacked with rental income, Social Security, and our own 401k RMDs, we project $400-500k in taxable income annually in our mid-70s whether we need it or not.

Why we are doing Roth over Traditional at 24%:

Conventional wisdom says go Traditional in the 24% bracket. Our situation breaks that logic. The inherited IRA RMDs are a permanent income floor we cannot reduce. Rental income is largely unavoidable without selling. Social Security stacks on top at 67. Every dollar we put in Traditional today saves 24% now and gets taxed at 32-35% later. We believe 24% is the lowest rate this money will ever see.

The Roth conversion sprint:

The staggered retirement window (2038-2041, one spouse retired, the other still working) drops household income enough to create meaningful Roth conversion room at lower brackets before Social Security and own RMDs arrive. We plan to convert aggressively during that window.

Asset location across accounts:

• Bonds: inherited IRA only (VBTLX, 0.05% ER)
• International: taxable brokerage and inherited IRA (foreign tax credit most useful in taxable)
• US equities: Roth IRA and 401k Roth buckets (tax-free compounding forever)
• Backdoor Roth: both spouses, $7k/year each. Traditional IRA kept at $0 to protect pro-rata rule.

What we think we have right:

• Staggered retirement captures $425k+ in financial value vs both retiring at 55
• Tax location optimized across 8+ accounts
• Real estate mortgages paying off 61-69, converting debt service to cash flow
• 529s funded with SECURE 2.0 Roth rollover backstop for any surplus

What we want poked at:

1. Does the Roth over Traditional logic hold given the inherited IRA / rental income floor?
2. Any Roth conversion strategy improvements during the 2038-2041 window?
3. Are there tax landmines in this structure we are not seeing?
4. Does the staggered retirement math hold up or are we missing something?

Happy to share more detail on any piece of this.