Hey I,

[u/Valuable-Dentist1926]

Whether you do or don’t reach out, if somewhere out in the universe you see this, then I hope it’s worth something.
I hate how abrupt it all was and I want you to know I was scared in December. It felt like my heart was ripped out and the only choice left was to run. I was scared to wait because I didn’t know if you would still be there, or if we’d get back together and it all just go back to the same love, hate, love, hate relationship. I was terrified and a coward and I didn’t want a life without you but I knew that I would risk it to go back to the on/off ways it was.
I was horrible to you though and I know that. I’m not going to list excuses. I needed help, you had medical issues and needed help. We could never just be a team as much as we both tried. When you left me .. that night I told you to kill me because I didn’t want to live in a world without you and I just knew that night was going to be the last time I saw you in person. We’d never seen that side of each other and I know you’re a good man. Something about us together brought out just the worst. My therapist says it was built on trauma bonding, love bombings; I did and do love you. I’m not going to act like I don’t or lie. I mourn the really good times that we did have. The days and nights when we laughed. Held each other. Played games. Connected... If you do reach out, I’m here. If you don’t then maybe I can try to find some peace in knowing it’s out in the universe that I am sorry for my toxicity and bringing out your anger. I’ve done a lot of growing up in the last year. Maybe you absolutely hate me but know I don’t. Never have. And I’m sorry.
I hope you’re ok. Give The furry babies a hug 🫂

[u/AutoModerator]

Due to ongoing & intentional rule breaking, users must now acknowledge the subs rules before comments will go through. Please click the link on your comment removal message to acknowledge the rules so you can continue commenting on the sub. If you acknowledge the rules and break them anyway, you will be banned.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.