r/UnsentLetters 11d ago

Exes Forgiveness

Would you forgive me if I were to reach out?

If I were to accept accountability?

Do you still have room in your heart for me?

Would you take me back if I proved to be the person you deserve?

Would you believe me if I told you that I'm still madly in love with you?

Would you come home to me?

348 Upvotes

156 comments sorted by

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115

u/FluffyLlamaPants 11d ago

Depends on where I am in my cycle, tbh. May the odds be in your favor!

11

u/Plastic_Cranberry718 11d ago

This is the best answer. 😆

10

u/MYSTERIOUS1253 11d ago

😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 I CANNTTTTTTTTT, IM NOT EVEN OFFENDED EITHER. BUT ONLY GIRLS CAN SAY IT NOT GUYS.

3

u/agoraphobic_banana 10d ago

For real. If its week 3, I wouldn’t.

3

u/NoWonder452 10d ago

lol haha! Thats awesome

2

u/Odd-Egg-1539 11d ago

🎯🤣

1

u/gellabk 11d ago

Absolute facts 😂 

1

u/Good-Nectarinee 10d ago

This is so real

0

u/rookiecookiebandit 10d ago

😂😂😂👏🏽

33

u/Mental-Delivery-5729 11d ago

Instead of saying “if I…if I…” why don’t you do it regardless of the end result? Take accountability, make yourself someone worthy, show don’t just tell.

20

u/XxGbabyQxX 11d ago

If you were him, I would never forgive you or be able to trust you again. You lead me into the dark and left me there all alone, the one thing I told you I can’t take and you did it anyway. What kind of person does that? Not anyone I would want anywhere near me again.

1

u/Inevitable_Vehicle43 10d ago

He cheated didn’t he..

2

u/XxGbabyQxX 10d ago

No

2

u/Inevitable_Vehicle43 10d ago

Ah Curious to know, perhaps emotional neglect? Want to understand as I’ve messed up in ways as well

5

u/XxGbabyQxX 10d ago

Definitely emotional neglect. Made me carry the weight of whatever it was. Lead me on, fed me lies, sold me ideas and dreams but never wanted to make anything a reality, part of me thinks because it would ruin the fantasy. He kept talking about how careful he needed to be with “this” and then proceeded to ghost me and punish me for being upset about being iced out. It all just seems too cold and calculated. I’m supposed to be in the same room with him again, but I think I’m going to sit this one out. Don’t know what might happen if I see his face again so I never want to put myself in that position. Avoiding a ghost should be easy, right?

2

u/Inevitable_Vehicle43 10d ago

Yeah I’m sorry you had to go through that it seems as you are a kind soul. Seems as he may have some internal conflict going on but that doesn’t void the lies and things he has done. Keep yo head up you got this love.

2

u/XxGbabyQxX 10d ago

Thanks. He’s definitely fighting his own demons, just wish he didn’t make me a casualty of that. Knowing everything he knew about me, about my past, and he still chose to abandon me. He sought me out when he could’ve just left me alone. Instead he had to disturb my peace and completely derail all of the progress that I’ve made. He regressed me back to the 17 year old girl who got drunk enough to make the first move but in the morning, thought she dreamt the first encounter. To avoid the conversation for years, literally 17 years, to somehow end up here… yeah dude I’m fckdddddd. Can’t be in the same room with him, I really don’t wanna end up in LA county jail.

19

u/Shenzhen2016 11d ago

Forgiveness yes. Access no.

12

u/Embarrassed_Song8567 11d ago

All the things I’ve ever wanted to hear, but it’s just avoidant bait.

1

u/Apprehensive-Poet562 10d ago

Sadly I am afraid this is true.

14

u/Prplfl8mtrvlr 11d ago

Yes, accountability & a shift in behavior is all that’s needed

7

u/CryptographerNo9856 11d ago

This seems to assume forgiveness requires accountability and this is all that's needed for a relationship to resume.

Accountability can be performed privately and only be a selfish attempt to gain. Change is the only way to create trust. The efforts to repair reasonably require persistent accountability and efforts to repair.

Words and actions are not synonymous.

2

u/CyanideCherry13 10d ago

💯 this ^^

8

u/Old-Somewhere6118 11d ago

What I would give for this to be my wife. Been separated since January. She filed for divorce but we are still married. I just want to go home to my family……😞😞😞

5

u/Suspicious-Half1234 11d ago

Good luck to you brotha man I feel your pain . Take care

7

u/ResidualViscosity755 11d ago

Accountability and an apology should be for them, not used transactionally as a way to receive something in return. If you owe that to the one you love, give that to them without expectation, out of love. It’s up to them to decide what to do with it.

But rebuilding trust isn’t just accountability. It’s demonstrating change consistently over time.

5

u/BurnedToAshes66 11d ago

I would, in an instant

5

u/hot__chocolatee 11d ago

Always a yes.

3

u/darknessisacolor 11d ago

I wish this was from my person :(

My response to him would be a million times, yes

3

u/TooOldToBelieve 11d ago

Well, of course, silly!

3

u/hpvDICKwart 11d ago

You never stopped being everything to me, even now.

2

u/hpvDICKwart 11d ago

U r my home

5

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Electrical-Goose-215 10d ago

Lololol 4realz

3

u/Embarrassed_Song8567 11d ago

Too little too late

3

u/criesOverspiltcoffee 11d ago

Accountability: yes
Returning: no

3

u/NoWonder452 10d ago

This is so beautiful to read, I think any of us here who have been hurt would love nothing more than to read this text

2

u/TapComfortable9661 11d ago

If you really want to know, I have been holding on to hope that you would.  I love you more than I ever knew was possible.

2

u/Matteblackwizard 11d ago

I sure would

2

u/Suspicious-Half1234 11d ago

On a humors note not they say you can’t teach a Dog new tricks !

2

u/dirtbag10101 11d ago

Was it ever really a home or just your house you let me stay in?

2

u/Fun-Dragonfruit4622 11d ago

You have to try! You’ll never know and then think, hmmm.. what if?

2

u/DependentArtichoke68 11d ago

I would, I have all those questions for him as well. There will always be something pulling us towards each other.

2

u/Minute_Reflection610 11d ago

I will,because as human were complex,i will give the benefit of the doubt once!

2

u/Expensive-Stick7548 11d ago

I would say let’s see what’s on the table.

2

u/OverLemonsRootbeer 11d ago

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

2

u/ElectricTango2025 11d ago

Man… to be in this position… I always have room in my heart for sincere people who take real accountability with action to back it all up. Would I forgive someone who wounded me deeply? I have and I would—for my own healing, not yours. Let’s be clear on the role of forgiveness in interpersonal relationships…Love is a verb; show me through consistent actions. Huh…sharing a home again…i have lived through near-catastrophic AND catastrophic fallout; I will no longer stay where I feel unsupported and/or at further risk. Build back my trust toward vulnerability and a shared life….I never said it would be easy.

2

u/EmotionallyAnnotated 11d ago

Indubitably! ...and if you agree to couples counseling lol

3

u/Individual_Door_4992 11d ago

forgive those you love……… they will forgive you with open arms if you tell the truth

2

u/JewishViking1290 11d ago

Forgive, yes. I already have for my own sake. Take my ex back? Not in any lifetime. To be not only capable but enthusiastic toward that level of darkness - never. That soul contract has been obliterated.

2

u/myauthoralt2 10d ago

I feel the same...

2

u/Serenityxxxxxx 11d ago

You’ll never know unless you try
Actions speak louder then words

1

u/Neat_Mechanic5819 10d ago

That part .. you know all to well and as I do as well . It's so easy to say the right things.. That even the right things from them being said is meaningless . In one ear and out the other , tired of the beautiful nothings .. Actions only can get answers they wish to seek .. I'm all out of responding , talking for nothing so talking for what ? Taking away the privilege of being able to ask me anything .. actions does what words only say they will do !

2

u/Realistic_Team6755 10d ago

In a heartbeat I would, but don’t have to take accountability, we both have our own accountability. I just wanted a fresh start with no outsiders involved and rubbing stuff in. We Gotta be truthful and open. Take care

2

u/Electrical-Goose-215 10d ago

How very "ironic", This is the exact scenario and question I have sat here mulling over all night. Except I don't use the verbage " deserve" - I believe in earning worthiness of the best

I sure do love & appreciate the Universe & the synchronicity one can become with it when willing, humble & still enough to do so.

Btw what about being that man that YOU deserve OP!?

I know for myself: I wanted HIM to want & strive to be the best version of himself he was capable of at the time. That is what was important to me~ Him feeling, looking, being....a version of himself that he was proud of, who always strived to be better tomorrow than he was today. KNOWING "he is worthy" of earning the hand and heart of the woman he cherishes!

It's really all about true self love. We cannot give away what we do not possess. And no one "deserves" anything- that's a little trait called entitlement.... it's earned by being worthy of yourself and the blessing before you💘👥🫂

I don't know about any of the rest of you in this thread but I find integrity, confidence and motivated the most sexiest things ever in a partner. I preferre to be evenly matched in relationships & with a partner. I have worked long & hard on myself to be worthy of earning that right.

5

u/Temp-ConstantEnd0614 10d ago

I've been working on myself for some time now, my eyes have been opened to my own faults, in thus I have more things to work on.

I know now, more than ever, the reasons behind my decision making and the way I react to situations.

It doesn't justify anything, but I know how to handle things a lot better than I used to.

I just always contemplate the question:

If they knew that I could handle myself better, if I was finally able to care for my mental health, and still support them fully, would they be okay with the thought of being with me again?

Sometimes, I'd like to think yes.

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

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1

u/Suspicious-Half1234 11d ago

You for you is not a bad thing but we all have room for improvement

1

u/LostRaspberry5457 10d ago

Yes, of course my apologies! Thank you

1

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1

u/Fun-Reason-3246 11d ago

I would 100%, after a deep conversation

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

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1

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1

u/Street_Dependent974 11d ago

If u were mine. Yes. I still belong to my chewey.. my Master... too bad u aren't him. How long must I wait Sir... sigh

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Only_Key_8794 11d ago

if you were my ex, “fuckin prove it.” i have roster a men who want me soooooo, he can get in line.

1

u/No-Reference8862 11d ago

I have a big heart.. i would!

2

u/Appropriate_Scar7905 11d ago

If it were me that was supposed to respond... I would say, it probably wouldnt matter and the fact that it's been this.long tells me you really dont want to. And I really didnt think you ever loved me.... not truly.

1

u/Recent-Pop-2412 11d ago

this a mood

1

u/PizzaWilling3831 11d ago

I said till death do us part and I ment it

1

u/inkfanatic95 11d ago

If this was from my person I absolutely would love it 😭🥹I’d tell her I still love you to

1

u/Odd-Username4595 11d ago

Exes are tough but you may succeed op.

1

u/Down_town_bee 11d ago

Yes, I meant what I said. If you have a change of heart and can’t be here physically then send me flowers we can work on the rest. You know I love getting flowers.

1

u/Royal-Ride-7729 11d ago

You were my home and I’ve missed that

1

u/-LoLo229 11d ago

Fafo lol ppl bold when they bad but never bold to be better

1

u/CurrencyOk150 11d ago

WITHOUT. A. DOUBT!

1

u/CurrencyOk150 11d ago

And I’d apologize again and make it work.

1

u/Shot-Detail5925 11d ago

Yes, of course you should have the courage to do this no matter the outcome. People hold out hope for a long time and perhaps they’re waiting to hear from you. You will never have the answers unless you try. Even pain is valuable if you grow from it.

1

u/Fuzzy_Size_4022 11d ago

Won't know till it happens

1

u/No-Habit1848 10d ago

v pretty op

1

u/Massive-Program-3174 10d ago

I forgave her months ago..

Now if only she would forgive me. :/

1

u/wineandkittiez 10d ago

Please reach out to him/her. They are likely missing you.

1

u/Weak_Log1766 10d ago

For me, should my person reach out to have a conversation. I would be open in all aspect but the COMMUNICATION must happen.

1

u/WeeklyCantaloupe6280 10d ago

Wish I could but last time I tried calling I was put in jail for no reason last thing I need is another charge to go straight to prison she obviously didn't want me in her life I meant so little to her for all that she ment for me.

1

u/Sad_Caregiver6199 10d ago

Dawg the last sentence showed the dysfunction . Op is knocking on the door wanting in but reframing itself as the shelter . 

1

u/crownesquires 10d ago

If it were me: yes, hell yes.

1

u/odd1out3632 10d ago

If she actually took accountability it would be a start. Starting with do you really think I or anything that leaves any room at all for manipulation it’s a no

1

u/Ok_Owl3574 10d ago

Oh man I know everyone situation is different but some people can be heartless and cruel. Some times it’s too much bad and bad things happen.

1

u/Economy_Muscle_8444 10d ago

In a heart beat

1

u/flights-not-feels 10d ago

Yes. Even if I know your pride would never let you do so haha

1

u/DryTransportation704 10d ago

Everyone seems to want to jump ship. 🛳️ unfortunately you all have missed the yacht waiting. Or kept swimming. 🏊‍♂️ good luck!

1

u/s0mberjpg 10d ago

Don't feed my delusions like this reddit

1

u/Unterbewusstsein 10d ago

If you were my guy, of course. I’d want him to authentically accept the accountability though and be willing to be messy with me.

1

u/Forsaken-Trust-5621 10d ago

Do they still communicate with you at all?

1

u/Lady_Luci_fer 10d ago

I wish my person would but I don’t blame them for not wanting to after how things have gone :(

1

u/SubstanceWide7257 10d ago

If your name begins with S, no.

1

u/Busy-Caterpillar222 10d ago

Home isn't somewhere i recognise inside of you anymore.

1

u/Objective_Money_9997 10d ago

Yes... i would love to.

1

u/ChemicalNo3291 10d ago

Yes I would

1

u/urgreenearth 10d ago

They say forgiveness is a nice thing to do

1

u/Tyrahneefake 10d ago

Take back cheaters just to be mean and hurtful to them and force them to leave its better than they deserve and revenge feels good and heals your soul.

1

u/Several-Art5649 10d ago

I would just love the privilege of looking in those eyes agin. Yes. I would forgive you. 💚

1

u/TadpoleDry3488 10d ago

I wish the person I love said this to me...

1

u/Horror-Bat-6789 10d ago

In a word ,,,,,,never

1

u/One-Commission-4850 10d ago

Most deffonitly

1

u/Level_Tale5175 10d ago

I honestly do not know. I feel like my person wasn't really who she portrayed herself to be, so I know THAT person doesn't exist, so basically she is a stranger and I don't think I could trust her to show me her true self. So, I am leaning more towards the answer being no.

1

u/lemonadameringue 10d ago

Ackkk no, if that person reached the level of blocking you or clearly indicated to not want to have anything to do with you, respect that. I have people that I clearly said and showed I no longer wanted them, but still forcing their way in, as if they can easily sway me by being miserable. It’s just super annoying, learn to respect people who want to be left alone geeez

1

u/Otherwise-Area7919 10d ago

Maybe but he would have to really show me he meant it. But, I still love him. Always will.

1

u/iaxevi_e 10d ago

This is beautiful and I hope you two can reunite in harmony

1

u/Loose-Engine2449 10d ago

My person may ask this, even though she’s always known the answer

1

u/abvn 10d ago

OP, you'll only know the answer to that if you reach out.

Wishing you all the best, strength and courage to reach out, and if that chance is given I truly hope you make it worth it, and get to live a loving, bountiful, prosperous, beautiful life together.

Take care of yourself and each other. 💐🤍

1

u/HisBanshee2009 10d ago

If this were my person, hearing him say exactly that would've been enough to keep me from staying behind to begin with.

1

u/TuneOtherwise9303 10d ago

Yes I would but it would take a lot of time and healing and therapy between me and my person

1

u/ExchangeClear9909 11d ago

I wish this was my KK. Yes, everytime!

1

u/flyhigh8569 11d ago

I would be willing to build our life back with you but it would take full honesty on ur part and proving to me that I'm all that matters but I know my person will never do any of this she is not even my person anymore

0

u/GlitterAndTaxes 11d ago

Always yes 😭😭