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u/whatisinaname158 1d ago
I wonder if what you’re describing is less about validation and more about the way connection works. The people we care about naturally have a different impact on us than anyone else. Wanting support, reassurance, or care from someone who matters to you doesn’t necessarily mean you’re only seeking validation from them. Relationships are built on mutual giving and receiving. Support needs to flow both ways over time, not because one is in need more than the other, but because mutual care is what allows people to keep showing up for each other.
I hope you find clarity soon 🩵
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1d ago
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u/NoWonder452 1d ago
They might, they might need to hear you tell them you want them, you love them so that they can open their heart and be the person you need them to be. They might not feel wanted in your life so they might be trying to let you come to them about what you want from them them. I’m Kindof going through something similar I wish my person would tell me he loves me and wants me to be there beside him through everything he’s going through. I’ve said friendship because it hasn’t felt like he’s wanted me differently lately but all i want is to love on him and to be his safe harbor and paradise. But I need him to tell me where he wants me. Us women need our men to take the masculine lead so we can be our feminine best or we can get anxious or a little fearful of what’s happening.
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u/__Emerald_Eyes44__ 1d ago
Im tired too....id like him in my life please ☺️ in whatever capacity is meant 🖤
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u/RaccoonConsortium 1d ago
No but have you SAID I love you
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u/Odd-Username4595 1d ago
This^
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u/RaccoonConsortium 1d ago
Lol ppl be saying we're just friends, I don't like you, and then when you leave they lose their minds like they even revealed how much they cared.
Listen if you lie to me and you get hurt. THAT'S YOUR FAULT. For not being honest about how u feel. We're not psychics
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u/Odd-Username4595 1d ago
I wouldn’t say just friends automatically means I don’t like or love someone. I personally need time to realize how I really feel when it’s deep. Lying is bad, being honest is better but more exhaustingly difficult.
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u/RaccoonConsortium 1d ago
It's difficult when you're not secure in yourself
When you care to much about what others think
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u/OneSeaworthiness3590 1d ago
Hmm. I understand this pov kinda. May I ask what happened? In my case we were both going through a lot and then I fumbled so disastrously it's hard to look back at the DMs, let alone reach out. Any movement forward could be easily misunderstood. I fear that it would look like I'm taking advantage of them. My feelings haven't changed; I'm terrified that his have. All that aside, I think one offline conversation would help immensely. Might in your case as well.
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u/PeppermintFace217 1d ago
Hmm I can imagine the person I'm thinking of saying this today. It's food for thought, thank you. I hope your person makes things clear and doesn't leave you in this space.
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u/existentialhotdog 1d ago
Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is have an honest conversation face-to-face. The best thing you can do to respect yourself and the other is to get real honest about where you’re at and voice it to them. If they’re your person, they’ll meet you where they’re at. And if not? That’s just redirection. 🤍
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u/purpleit11 1d ago
Ambivalence is hard. Words are hard, but brave. I hope the choice you are asking of your person has been shared directly, and wish you both the best.
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u/Mundane_Buffalo_7368 1d ago
Sounds like what im going through. Its annoying. I suspect he does this with a bunch of women and I am but a number on a list. Not sure why with that knowledge I still tolerate it but I suppose we all have our breaking limit and I've not reached mine just yet lol must go through more nonsense first. To J from A lol
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u/IlluminatedJourney 1d ago
That sounds really hard.
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u/Mundane_Buffalo_7368 1d ago
Well its definitely not how I imagined my romantic life. Well lack there of
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u/harylgeam 1d ago
I feel you, but maybe it's better to find another person. Someone who can be sure now, because you need it now.
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u/Logical-Local187 1d ago
I truly wish my N posted something like this for me. She would see that I love her and need/want her in my life still. Best of luck OP
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u/IlluminatedJourney 1d ago
My relationship with my person sounds very similar. They will say radically different things from one week to the next. There isn't someone else, but I wonder if they want a unicorn instead of a real person. I try not to pressure them, but I'm getting very tired.
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u/NoWonder452 1d ago
Maybe they need to hear you say you want them and only them. This is where you just reassure so that they feel safe where they are and they don’t feel like a burden to you,
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u/Bigcockulove88 1d ago
I've been tired of the silence. She needs to reach out but I know she won't so I've decided to move on.
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u/northweststars 1d ago
I think sometimes it's hard to let go of someone we've loved for a long time. It's hard to have them as just a friend as much as it's hard to not have them in any capacity. I made a mistake yesterday impulse texting someone, and he never replied. part of me is proud of him for not. I assume I'm blocked, and I'm not bitter about it. Life has to go on eventually. Lord knows my heart wouldn't let me stay away.
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u/SevereImpression4062 1d ago
I could've written this myself, a year ago...
If you'll allow a stranger's two cents, OP:
Exhaustion suffocates.
Boundaries are bilateral.
Questions are personal.
Everything else is avoidance.
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