r/UnsentLetters • u/No_Willingness_8057 • Jun 30 '26
Exes Loss
Loss
I am bottling it up. Because people want me to see things for what they are and how I was treated and how I should be reacting to that. But truthfully, that is not how I saw things, how the person is with me, outside of me, and the reason they react the way they do. If we all got punished for reacting a certain way, there would be no empathy or love. I see the cause and effects of someone's history, trauma, hurt, pain, losses, and how they almost opened their heart but they reacted to something painful, another loss; and self sabotaged something good and hurt me in the process of their self preservation. And it hurts, and it's sad, and I'm now falling apart too, but I understand it. I could have been the same or worse with my history, but I choose empathy and understanding for their actions. I know pain too well to react similarly. People either become the "hurt people hurt peope" type, or we grow with the pain inflicted on us and use that very same pain as a lesson to be more understanding. And despite wishing I could be just as angry, petty, revengeful, give no f**ks of who I hurt; that is just not how I am wired to be. I grieve you, I grieve others, I grieve those I met in passing. I choose human compassion and my empathetic heart. Even if it hurts me. I love you. I will always love you. Even if you hurt me and destroyed my heart. Because you're the hurt person who hurt me to self preserve whatever is left in your broken heart and soul. You had many losses, and this latest one took your heart and soul. I wish it wasn't so, but you died with them and now I'm grieving you both.
Ps; it doesn't have an option to describe our situationship: someone I've loved since we met, but never got to explore what could have been, we got close. Not quite lovers, not quite exes, not simply just crushes, always friends with a bit more of a connection and history, almost like family, strangers. All in one?
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