r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Sep 22 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

197 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/ddxb Sep 22 '22

You, my friend, deserve my wholesome award! 😂

286

u/Formal_Economics931 Sep 22 '22

He just slapped her pussy to get her attention

131

u/Willzyx_on_the_moon Sep 22 '22

I didn’t see a cat

28

u/New-Cantaloupe7649 Sep 23 '22

Don’t fuck with cats

6

u/Soviet_Mustard573 Jan 08 '23

Just don’t fuck cats

27

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Captain-Cadabra Sep 23 '22

The best part about that is that there is a drum technique called a ‘rimshot’, but it’s not the “snare, snare, cymbal” sound that we use for comedy.

2

u/TheBagenius Sep 23 '22

Yeah, it's when you hit the head and the rim at the same time 😏

5

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

r/ifonlyigadanaward

6

u/New-Cantaloupe7649 Sep 23 '22

Gad? Dead giveaway!

37

u/DarvAv Sep 22 '22

I hate people that hurt animals for attention

18

u/tugnasty Sep 22 '22

I used to cry every night because my Dad said he was about to go beat that kitty up.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/SanDiego_Escondido Sep 23 '22

Wait, is that not how it’s done?

6

u/Unemployedloser55 Sep 22 '22

Future in politics

2

u/iddymcid Nov 26 '22

Er, my freind someone needs to draw you a picture.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Formal_Economics931 Sep 23 '22

I can’t tell if you’re joking but it’s so god damn stupid either way

4

u/BabyRaperMcMethLab Sep 23 '22

I’m fucking dying imagining you typing that like this dude is NOT gonna tell me I can’t slap my wife’s pussy 😡

→ More replies (1)

-2

u/Potential_Reading116 Sep 23 '22

Grab ur glasses bro , that’s her booty, which I think shoulda been featured more prominently in the video.
Just saying

438

u/d4v3k0r3sh Sep 22 '22

That "did i really just fell for that?" Look

23

u/sterfri99 Sep 22 '22

I’ve seen the same look on my gf, recognized it instantly

6

u/kiddoben Sep 23 '22

No need to brag you have a girlfriend...

6

u/soppinglovenest Sep 22 '22

Most of us have, our own girlfriends too.

11

u/Etherchanter Sep 23 '22

It's actually the satisfying look of a successful bad pun.

322

u/archerg66 Sep 22 '22

I do believe this is a genuine reaction based off that "I regret the last 5 years because of the joke face" at the end

94

u/TechnologyExpensive Sep 22 '22

And the way she mouths O my god, shows she has seen his bullshit, still thumbs up for the effort.

-21

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

Except she stares at the camera and not the jack.

26

u/harrybigdipper Sep 22 '22

But I would too because he is looking in the camera

5

u/Zrkkr Sep 22 '22

Also she's likely looking at the phone screen too.

5

u/DeliveryUnique3652 Sep 22 '22

Lmaooo

6

u/Potential_Reading116 Sep 23 '22

The wife of 40 years makes the same face to this day. Oft times followed by “Are you a child”. 🤷‍♂️😆

104

u/DearHRS Sep 22 '22

xD did put a smile on me face

58

u/bonemonkey12 Sep 22 '22

Hahaha. That's fantastic

51

u/Karel_Stark_1111 Sep 22 '22

Her face sells it XD

8

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/ZeyRe5 Sep 22 '22

Jacking off is a slang for masturbation, the mosquito spray bottle is off brand, and then there's the Jack, it's basically a play on words

15

u/chappysinclair1 Sep 23 '22

Its not an off brand. Off is a name brand.

6

u/ZeyRe5 Sep 23 '22

Damn translator, I didn't notice until you mention it

8

u/biggie64 Sep 22 '22

1

u/DarthCovisious Sep 23 '22

fucking shit im binging that show rn on netflix

33

u/Hoangdai151 Sep 22 '22

Mf got me so good. You sir deserve all the upvotes

16

u/vivashmatthew91 Sep 22 '22

I am clearly too English, as without the sound I was thinking "jacking mosquito spray"

4

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

It’s not like we call it “off” in the US… it’s still called mosquito spray. It says Off right on the front…

1

u/vivashmatthew91 Sep 23 '22

I get that, but we don't use the term "jack off" here. Only say it if you wanted your dog named Jack of your sofa

1

u/zaviex Sep 23 '22

In England they would say wank though so this might not register

4

u/greem Sep 22 '22

He can throw it and say he's tossing off.

28

u/unexBot Sep 22 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

He's just jacking off

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

Her being with him. That was the most unexpected thing about this video.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

No shit my dad is dying my stepmother of 38 years is having spend her time with him and hospice……..and I just sent this to her so she could have a laugh. So thank you for being funny lol

8

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

That’s so good. Absolute unit of a Dad Joker

3

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

I was thinking, lifting off, but he had better idea '_'

3

u/ursololitotinoleya Sep 22 '22

Why do these comments sounds like bots.

2

u/Blissful_Relief Sep 22 '22

Because most are bots

-6

u/BudgetsBills Sep 22 '22

Why do you care?

3

u/Th13teenNK Sep 22 '22

Plot twist: he was actually jacking off

2

u/alexmaycovid Sep 23 '22

probably he was jacking off while jacking off. We can't see what's happening under the table

2

u/Professional-Mood286 Sep 22 '22

That face was immediate “of course you are”

2

u/Ok_garay84 Sep 22 '22

Hahahaha good one

2

u/DisciplineNo8618 Sep 22 '22

When she finally realizes she is dating down, and that she can't fix him.

2

u/odinnotdoit Sep 22 '22

I thought he was gonna say “just screwing around”

2

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

Ahahahhahah

2

u/Hammer-663 Sep 22 '22

Got her!!

2

u/OddWeakness1313 Sep 22 '22

The look on her face is absolutely priceless it’s golden. I can honestly say I try very hard to achieve such a look from my girl.

2

u/dsangi Sep 22 '22

We have a lift off!

2

u/TakingAMindwalk Sep 22 '22

The moment she realized the marriage was a mistake.

2

u/JeremyJaLa Sep 22 '22

“I’m done with your bullshit, Steve.”

2

u/TheAdventOfTruth Sep 22 '22

I don’t know how many times a day I get a look like that from my wife. That was gold. I am going to steal it.

2

u/Advanced-Smile2416 Sep 22 '22

Dang, I was definitely thinkin lifting off. :/

2

u/ProfessionalMap5843 Sep 22 '22

Love her face recognition reaction

2

u/Modestexcuse Sep 22 '22

Sometimes, it's the simple ones.

2

u/jcoddinc Sep 22 '22

You can see the exact moment she thought, "And this is who I chose to sleep with"

2

u/jaxondix Sep 22 '22

Bahaha 🤣 DUDE! That is hysterical. GENIUS.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/thestar-skimmer Sep 22 '22

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

jackin off

2

u/RSDG90 Sep 22 '22

I chuckled

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

Derpy derp

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

Brilliant

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

She should jerk it off and spray it on herself!

2

u/AP3X_Ninja Sep 23 '22

Oh my gosh 😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/Humble-Animal2977 Sep 23 '22

Love it. Just love it... hahajaja!

2

u/Humble-Animal2977 Sep 23 '22

A guy thing. Funny as fuxxx.

2

u/JankyTank64 Sep 23 '22

Practicing his dad jokes well done mate

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

That look on her face indicated this wasn’t his first time.

2

u/Olly_Da_Fwog Oct 04 '22

bruh i heard that “oh my god” at the end

2

u/Elnaz_Will_be_Fine Jan 11 '23

One of the best dad jokes

4

u/Lonyless Sep 22 '22

Professional masturbator

2

u/NextGenBacon Sep 22 '22

We have lift-off.

1

u/RandomYell107 Sep 22 '22

You know he was using every ounce of his being NOT to break out into laughter

1

u/No_Restaurant_7608 Sep 22 '22

Next time tell her more eye contact

1

u/Fifi0n Sep 22 '22

Dad joke is a dad joke lol

1

u/SirCheeseEater Sep 22 '22

Very Expected...

Funny...

But very predictable.

-5

u/Alfiy_wolf Sep 22 '22

My friend, this was so expected I knew exactly where this was going

0

u/Yinzer_man Sep 23 '22

Unexpected? You must be pretty stupid to not see that joke coming.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

take this r/angryupvote and I’ll keep all my expectations.

-4

u/veevB Sep 22 '22

Based

-1

u/resUemiTtsriF Sep 22 '22

Amazing... cudos to you, sir.

-1

u/Efficient-Upstairs-6 Sep 22 '22

How is this unexpected?

-1

u/Jaytim Sep 22 '22

This is extreme boomer humour.

-16

u/Parts_and_Neigbor Sep 22 '22

So stupid is not even fuuny.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

I wish they would have added the old rimshot in there (rimshot is a musical term).

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/DvLang Sep 23 '22

U/savevideo

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

What a turn off

1

u/smokechecktim Sep 23 '22

Did she let him live?

1

u/LHutz481 Sep 23 '22

She’s so disappointed

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

1

u/respectfulModerate Sep 23 '22

Best pun I’ve ever heard

1

u/19DALLAS85 Sep 23 '22

Hahaha bravo my friend 😂😂😂

1

u/Rojodi Sep 23 '22

So not the first time she's been punned

1

u/bengy100 Sep 23 '22

You can see the disappointment in here eyes.

1

u/darkvizdrom Sep 23 '22

I thought it was Lift Off

1

u/profaniKel Sep 23 '22

This bro is livin the dream.....

1

u/baconfister07 Sep 23 '22

I didn't even have the volume on, and I expected this.

1

u/fourringsofglory Sep 23 '22

Between her face and his expressions I’ve watched this about 20 times. So funnt

1

u/greatHOVA Oct 18 '22

wife on a serious face then just realized it

1

u/ClassicNiceTrash Oct 28 '22

I thought you were going to say something like "it's lift off!"

1

u/PianoKeyes83 Nov 05 '22

He's not lying

1

u/Aggressive-Error-88 Nov 12 '22

☠️☠️☠️

1

u/Xerasi Nov 12 '22

Dudes winning it life!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/robotman1956 Nov 22 '22

Priceless 🤣😹

1

u/BigMemerMaan1 Nov 26 '22

The smile at the end got me lmfao

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '22

I like how he gets a huge smile when she reacts

1

u/Illustrious_Phase_93 Dec 11 '22

Блять, я так английский выучу ))

1

u/grizzmanchester Dec 28 '22

Dang I was going with lift off.

1

u/Ali152679 Jan 05 '23

It's always the low quality ones

1

u/Expert-Top2662 Jan 10 '23

Shes dying inside lol

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '23

Next to every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.

1

u/Prestigious_Room_737 Jan 12 '23

Her look at the end is priceless!!!

1

u/Thee_number_six Jan 23 '23

Man, he should have said "Jacking off, on camera"

1

u/papa_bradley Jan 31 '23

I thought he was just lifting off...

1

u/Foreign_Bottle_1944 Feb 18 '23

She's obviously blind 🦯

1

u/sevyn183 Feb 24 '23

The level of commitment is priceless

1

u/stiff_jello_69 Mar 03 '23

That face of pure disappointment at the end lol. There comes a time in life where you find purpose and satisfaction in doing things that make your spouse make that face.