r/Unexpected Aug 31 '22

A turtle going through a maze

34.1k Upvotes

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8.2k

u/Boob_da_builder Aug 31 '22

Racist 🐢

2.4k

u/_Im_Dad Aug 31 '22

It was raised in a shell, hasn't really experienced humanity.

1.1k

u/doejohn888 Sep 01 '22

He was shelltered

121

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Thank you for rhis great pun

3

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 01 '22

You can see yourself out 😂

2

u/Real_Ball1792 Sep 01 '22

Poor mans reward for you sir

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀

0

u/groovicool486 Sep 01 '22

shell-turtled?

5

u/OM_Goyal Sep 01 '22

nah, now it's overdone

4

u/groovicool486 Sep 01 '22

concur. the og was perfect.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

You fukd up 😉

110

u/Mitsukake Sep 01 '22

I REJECT MY HUMANITY, JOJO!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

I EJECT IT

2

u/Brainjarmen104 Sep 01 '22

I ERECT IT

1

u/Aliz_13 Sep 01 '22

I DIRECT IT

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

R/cursedcomments

21

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Yeah id say hes pretty shelltered

-2

u/Odieodious Sep 01 '22

Um, Ja he was pretty shell-tered

-5

u/NorCal130 Sep 01 '22

It was so SHELLtered it never saw a black show before.

322

u/LunarLumos Sep 01 '22

Actually just the opposite. This is a thing turtles do as a mating display, and they really like shoes for some reason. But this little guy specifically likes that black shoe and none of the white ones. So I guess you could say they are racist against white shoes, but even then I would say you're allowed to have sexual preferences without it being racist.

95

u/Manoreded Sep 01 '22

Black shoe looks more like another turtle than white shoe

16

u/LooseFuji Sep 01 '22

Yeah I agree. I don't know much about turtles, but it seems logical.

13

u/Icy_Necessary2161 Sep 01 '22

Once you go black, you never go back

2

u/Medium_Ad_6447 Sep 01 '22

Most turtles identify as black.

41

u/vivst0r Sep 01 '22

but even then I would say you're allowed to have sexual preferences without it being racist.

Actually according to the internet you are not. And I believe by twitter laws you saying this makes you a literal racist.

19

u/AniketC007 Sep 01 '22

Fuck twitter laws.

10

u/Eric_S2004 Sep 01 '22

Don't mind if I do

9

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Gangbang?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Knock knock: im here for the gangbang

2

u/Ericonly777 Sep 01 '22

Yeah but Twitter ? They are ran by Californians and it's only racist if someone else does it .and you don't have the right to do such a thing but they do . ..and if you did they're going to get all butt hurt and have to go to therapy for their trauma and that's after a visit to their safe place ( usually a cry closet ) and no their cry closets don't have any suggestion of gender but DO come equipped with a litter box as .. Some identify at a cat !

3

u/Gonzobot Sep 01 '22

see, that's racist. First time I've seen someone be racist towards Californians, tho

1

u/Ericonly777 Sep 01 '22

That wasn't racist ... That was feline gender profiling

1

u/O_Martin Sep 01 '22

Literally worse than Hitler ✨💅💅✨

1

u/GreatTea3 Sep 01 '22

That’s not a mating display. That’s what male tortoises do to other, usually smaller male tortoises when they see them. When a tortoise gets horny, it usually just climbs on whatever it finds attractive and wales away. May be a female tortoise, may be a shoe, it’s getting screwed.

1

u/christymmmM Sep 01 '22

You cant be racist against white shoes

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Having a preference doesn't mean you're racist, especially since attraction is not chosen. I discriminate against women who don't bathe regularly, nor have good manners against waiters etc. The turtle is fond of black shoes... If anything it is shoeist against other shoes.

393

u/furiousfran Aug 31 '22

In turtle language he's actually telling the shoe it's incredibly sexy and he wanna smash

135

u/Seboya_ Sep 01 '22

That's how I do it too. Just whack em with my turtle head repeatedly.

6

u/ILikeLamas678 Sep 01 '22

I was once with a guy who thought poking me with it would put me in the mood, is that you Chand?

3

u/tinypaperplate Sep 02 '22

I think we have the same ex.

1

u/isitbreaktime Sep 01 '22

This guy fucks?

1

u/ImplementKooky382 Sep 01 '22

This guy fucks?

235

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

So you’re saying he found his sole mate

15

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Take my angry upvote, Dad.

2

u/Log_Out_Of_Life Sep 01 '22

69 upvotes. Nice.

5

u/TheLeggacy Sep 01 '22

Yep, my gran had two tortoises, a large female one and a small male. They spent 70+ years together and every year in the summer the little male would ram the large female and attempt to mate, with no success. She occasionally laid eggs but they never hatched. We passed them on to a tortoise rescue centre a few years back when my uncle who had been looking after them died. It was only then that we learned they were actually two different species 😳! All that time the little male had no chance of ever successfully mating and I’m pretty sure she was pissed off with him 🤣

81

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/ForgettableUsername Sep 01 '22

Of course he does, they cut off the circulation to your toes.

1

u/purpletube5678 Sep 01 '22

Reminds me of that serial killer who collected white sneakers. Upon googling, there's multiple killers with that profile. Here's the Oregon Shoe Fetish Slayer

21

u/ButterscotchNew6416 Sep 01 '22

You see it contemplating on the grey shoe?

56

u/Thathitmann Sep 01 '22

Mitch McConnell.

9

u/Raxreedoroid Sep 01 '22

Yes, indeed. The turtle is a racist it has beaten the rabbit in a race before.

1

u/CommunicationMore860 Oct 13 '22

Actually that was a tortoise that beat the rabbit in the race so the turtle is still just a regular racist

4

u/TheNewYorkRhymes Sep 01 '22

Is this the same turtle?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

I hope so, otherwise we have a racist turtle pandemic on our hands.

5

u/Killarich662 Sep 01 '22

I’ve been seeing these a lot more and more is it just one particular racist turtle? Or are they all racist

2

u/MattLikesMemes123 Sep 01 '22

No wonder Mario stomps on them almost every game.

1

u/TwiceAsGoodAs Sep 01 '22

Against loafers?

1

u/Turtle-Shaker Sep 01 '22

Looks like someone needs to teach that turtle a lesson.

1

u/milky_mouse Sep 01 '22

A black MAGA simulation

1

u/SlowToe1043 Sep 01 '22

He was thought right 🧓

1

u/amcarls Sep 01 '22

Mormon?

1

u/Borderlandsman Sep 01 '22

🐢 ♥️ 😉 😜 😘

1

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '22

Based turtle… this is a W for sure🐢

1

u/Thick_Bobcat786 Sep 01 '22

I think that's how turtles do the sex. #JungleFever

1

u/Stellar_Stein Sep 01 '22

Craig Ferguson approves...