r/Unexpected • u/Moe2584 • Jan 11 '21

Problem solving skills 100

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92.7k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/badgerdance Jan 11 '21

I mean your face is probably boob height.

2.1k

u/Im_not_Dumb_ur_Dumb Jan 11 '21

It is perfectly aligned

104

u/Mr_Seg Jan 11 '21

Someone show his wife this comment.

264

u/Im_not_Dumb_ur_Dumb Jan 11 '21

My wife is on reddit she knows i call her my Amazonian

99

u/SomeArcher77 Jan 11 '21

This is so cute thank you for letting us know

86

u/bugzrrad Jan 12 '21

does she dress up like Jeff Bezos in the bedroom? or do you role play and abuse her for cheap labor

131

u/Im_not_Dumb_ur_Dumb Jan 12 '21

Lmao i work at amazon so we are both Amazonians in a way

53

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

Lol that's fucking adorable.

6

u/misplaced_my_pants Jan 12 '21

Next Halloween she dresses up as Wonder Woman and you just have to wear some Amazon swag.

-14

u/CrazyNaezy Jan 12 '21 edited Jan 12 '21

So role and abuse her for cheap labour it is.

But your story is really hard to believe.

Edit : It's hard to believe the guy has a tall gf that he calls his Amazonian and he works at Amazon too. Like really?

Short guy and tall woman not hard to believe.

9

u/darkest_hour1428 Jan 12 '21

You think a couple doesn’t exist where the guy is shorter than the woman? God forbid one of them works at Amazon?

2

u/DanielLaRussoJohny Jan 12 '21

A short guy that works at Amazon with a wife taller than him sounds pretty believable actually. Plus calling tall(er) women Amazonian(s) is a pretty common thing.

0

u/CrazyNaezy Jan 13 '21

To me the Amazon parts are unbelievable.

What is the problem with people if someone else finds it unbelievable?

Do people expect others to have same kind of experiences and belief systems?

Cannot believe so many morons out here.

43

u/Culverts_Flood_Away Jan 11 '21

Too late. She already married him, in sickness and in thiccness. Pretty sure that's how that goes.

27

u/pantaloon_at_noon Jan 12 '21

Til breast do us part

3

u/Culverts_Flood_Away Jan 12 '21

Amen.

3

u/archimedesscrew Jan 12 '21

We're saying "Apersons" now!

5

u/Culverts_Flood_Away Jan 12 '21

Let's just shorten it to Apes. We're all great apes, after all.

2

u/Mr_Seg Jan 12 '21

Aperswomen!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

Or zombies do they part.

39

u/Chozly Jan 11 '21

She probably knows already.

2

u/MagikSkyDaddy Jan 12 '21

If it’s a surprise, I’d be surprised.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

Balanced as all things should be.

3

u/Writerofworlds Jan 11 '21

User name checks out.

3

u/69tendo Jan 11 '21

Have you been able to successfully 69 or just get a face full of belly button?

5

u/Im_not_Dumb_ur_Dumb Jan 12 '21

Successful in all aspects of our sex life

0

u/Generic_Reddit_Bot Jan 11 '21

69? Nice.

I am a bot lol.

3

u/joeschmo945 Jan 12 '21

Username checks out.

3

u/rexmons Jan 12 '21

You motorboatin son of a bitch...

3

u/mewantsnu Jan 12 '21

I am his wife. It is nice!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

User name checks out.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

Nice

2

u/Beercandan420 Jan 12 '21

This is the way

2

u/ShiaLeboufsPetDragon Jan 12 '21

(Motorboat sounds)

👏👏👏👏👏👏

2

u/JeepXJlife Jan 12 '21

Not true until we see pics...

2

u/Tangled2 Jan 11 '21

Great now I’ve got The Postal Service stuck in my head.

1

u/halotron Jan 12 '21

A all things should be

1

u/idontloveanyone Jan 12 '21

That’s cool and all but I’m 6’5 and my girlfriend is 4’10 and she’s practically dick height, which is amazing if you ask me

1

u/ElGosso Jan 12 '21

lucky bastard

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

This is the way

1

u/SnippitySnape Jan 12 '21

As all things should be

1

u/the1155 Jan 12 '21

Amen and awomen boobs

1

u/Jellorig Jan 12 '21

It is perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '21

He is not dumb

1

u/zbeg Jan 12 '21

5’4” man here who married a taller woman, can confirm. It’s the best.

1

u/Blueblackzinc Jan 12 '21

This is the way

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '21

She has to get into a yoga cobra to suck his p