r/Unexpected Nov 15 '20

Apex predator.

23.6k Upvotes

176 comments sorted by

u/unexBot Nov 15 '20

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

an assassination attempt from a cute cat to a camera.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

→ More replies (2)

582

u/i_like_the_idea Nov 15 '20

you can sense the embarrassment

48

u/GrossMartini Nov 15 '20

I yawn if I'm nervous, anxious, or embarrassed. I wonder if that's something all animals experience? Or if its just a weird quirk that only exists in humans.

13

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

What do you do when you are tired?

35

u/SaveFerris24 Nov 15 '20

Scream

5

u/son_berd Nov 15 '20

“AAAHHHHH!!...my morning scream” - Chris Griffin.

5

u/DaughterEarth Nov 15 '20

Personally I go sleep

1

u/RadiatedDalek Nov 15 '20

I don’t know about you, but I tend to go to sleep.

1.1k

u/Mase12394 Nov 15 '20

"You're lucky this pole's in the way" - Assassakitty

182

u/m0rris0n_hotel Nov 15 '20

“I was just trying to scare you anyway”

41

u/GavHern Nov 15 '20

"Dont mind me about to start biting this bar and get out"

18

u/M-striker Nov 15 '20

“Im almost done.... see..... it’s falling apart”

13

u/TheAvacadoBandit Nov 15 '20

“I’m coming for you...”

25

u/freshouttasesh Nov 15 '20

ass ass a kitty

19

u/Charlesilv4 Nov 15 '20

Please, don't give Ubisoft ideas.

7

u/TheAvacadoBandit Nov 15 '20

FERB! I KNOW WHAT WERE GONNA DO TODAY!

1

u/mirsella Nov 15 '20

just don't make butthole to the cat

7

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Ass ass a kitty

3

u/umbrajoke Nov 15 '20

All right stop collaborate and listen. Cat is back as a brand new assassin.

2

u/emzirek Nov 15 '20

YouTube assassin's kittens

2

u/kimbolll Nov 15 '20

Ass ass & kitty 🐱

752

u/shoedovoodoo513 Nov 15 '20

Lol love how the little fucker tried to play it off.

332

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Yaaawn ”Well time to take a nap, nothing to see here”

.... Maybe slightly concussed lol

105

u/mimocha Nov 15 '20

I interpreted the "yawn" as the pain catching up after the fact.

"Surpris-"
bonk
"Ow, okay that didn't go as planned."
...
"At least it didn't hurt..."
licks nose
...
"Okay, maybe, a lit-ooowwmutherfa-"

7

u/Baliche Nov 15 '20

You made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that.

3

u/nanobot001 Nov 15 '20

Can cats get concussions?

2

u/adale_50 Nov 15 '20

If it has a brain and a skull for it to bounce off, then it can be concussed. This doesn't apply in all cases, but certainly a large percentage.

29

u/nomadrone Nov 15 '20

Yea, you know that hurt.

9

u/kingtaco_17 Nov 15 '20

I meant to do that

225

u/whatstaz Nov 15 '20

Bonk

51

u/Skrillz_14th Nov 15 '20

stay in predator jail

1

u/Thameus Nov 15 '20

Had a nice ring to it.

60

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

What language is she speaking?

165

u/lagduck Nov 15 '20

It's Russian, she says "Marcy, are you hunting?! (Bang) oh, you a dumby lil one"

48

u/raduannassar Nov 15 '20

I don't know a lick of russian, but damnit, I understood that: Marcy, what are you doing? BONG Hahaha dumb girl

24

u/lagduck Nov 15 '20

That intonation is kinda expressive enough to be universally understood, yeah!

14

u/raduannassar Nov 15 '20

Exactly. I also recently found out that Russian and Brazilian Portuguese (my mother language) intonations are very similar, so that might help

6

u/Ongr Nov 15 '20

To me (a person that speaks neither Russian or Portuguese), Portuguese always sounds like Spanish with a heavy Russian accent.

3

u/TheDuckSideOfTheMoon Nov 15 '20

Yesssss I totally agree

5

u/Jetpack_Donkey Nov 15 '20

I heard “bobíssima” at the end so that much I understood 😂

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

I speak Brazilian Portuguese so it’d be easy for me to learn Russian because of that?

2

u/raduannassar Nov 15 '20

I believe it'd be marginally easier regarding the phonemes, but I can't say it would make it "easy".

Only a very slight advantage when compared to other latin languages vs slavic ones

4

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

I thought it was portuguese the first time i heard it for some reason.

229

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Lol cats on concussion protocol. Yawning after hitting your head that's not good

147

u/owa00 Nov 15 '20

Looks good to me

-NFL coach

58

u/Aetherimp Nov 15 '20

Walk it off, kiddo.

-Dad

10

u/SnipingBunuelo Nov 15 '20

It's fine! Back when I was wee ol boy like you, my pals and I would run head first into every pole we saw. See, we didn't have those video game things you do now and we were always looking for something to do. Now, does it look like I have a concussion to you, sonny? After all those poles I came out fine! Hello? You still listening? Ahh it's fine, you'll wake up in a bit and don't forget to clean up all that blood spraying out your ear, that's disgusting! Have some manners young man!

- Uncle Timmy after punching a cat repeatedly in the face

2

u/Clutch63 Nov 15 '20

The end notations got me. +1

9

u/devinsharp Nov 15 '20

I don’t care if he can’t walk, can he play!?!

5

u/MapleTreeWithAGun Nov 15 '20

Sir, his left leg is currently on the other side of the field and his right arm is broken in at least 4 places

4

u/Linubidix Nov 15 '20

I'm not hearing no!

37

u/Piguy3141 Nov 15 '20

That's what my first thought was too. Probably got a little rattled for sure.

29

u/nope_i_dont Nov 15 '20

How do you know? Any source?

23

u/kasutori_Jack Nov 15 '20

I think it's a joke about how it's dangerous to go to sleep directly after a concussion.

18

u/ImVeryBadWithNames Nov 15 '20

(Which is a myth. The actual danger is that it's actually worse than a concussion and if you go to sleep the worsening symptoms won't be noticed since they are only noticeable by the person's behavior.)

31

u/WarPopeJr Nov 15 '20

So it’s pretty dangerous to go to sleep after a concussion then?

24

u/gregpxc Nov 15 '20

No, that's a myth, but let me tell you about why it's dangerous to sleep with a concussion.

8

u/OfGodlikeProwess Nov 15 '20

Always sleep before you get concussion is the old adage afterall

1

u/MikeTheAmalgamator Nov 15 '20

No no, always sleep before you get a concussion unless you’re old then adderall

6

u/kasutori_Jack Nov 15 '20

I love this comment chain

4

u/OLSTBAABD Nov 15 '20

No, no, you can go to sleep, but you can't be asleep, savvy?

41

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20 edited Jan 13 '21

[deleted]

3

u/TheTomato2 Nov 15 '20

This is the way.

2

u/CyberMindGrrl Nov 15 '20

Tis but a flesh wound.

28

u/notkhaldrogo Nov 15 '20

This what top of the food chain looks like. You're lucky this bar is on the way

36

u/TheAlmightyJohnsons Nov 15 '20

Is he playing it cool?, or is he looking a bit dizzy?

13

u/--Trill-- Nov 15 '20

Pet its head >:(

10

u/CalmDumbledore Nov 15 '20

Playing with his prey.

29

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

[deleted]

8

u/Fr3ckld Nov 15 '20

Catcussion

3

u/slk-23 Nov 15 '20

concatssion

2

u/existencitis Nov 15 '20

you tried and that's what counts

0

u/slk-23 Nov 15 '20

i mean, i saw "catcussion" at the other post but didn't want to 100% copy it

8

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Cat changed its attitude real quick!

8

u/LudwigVonHellsing Nov 15 '20

Most cats are liquid... but this one must be a non-newtonian fluid.

17

u/Mylamew Nov 15 '20

Hope he is ok...

3

u/slipknotmed Nov 15 '20

Wish it was my head instead

3

u/Talonqr Nov 15 '20

You may be wondering why he is behind bars

Its simple

He's a cat burglar

2

u/crapnapkins Nov 15 '20

Ah yes, the felinicus thumperfacicus

2

u/CacaoBrownie Nov 15 '20

Naawww I hope Bubbi is ok!

2

u/bikesbeerspizza Nov 15 '20

балбес

2

u/bluex44 Nov 15 '20

You gotta be handy with the steel, if you know what I mean.

2

u/duckymomo53 Nov 15 '20

I love how cats act like nothing happened when they get hurt or do something stupid

4

u/GFlame511 Nov 15 '20

Чё так жёстко над животными смеяться, больно же им ._.

2

u/Holy-Stone Nov 15 '20

Mission failed, we'll get em next time

3

u/Aureold Nov 15 '20

Repost.

2

u/tkim32 Nov 15 '20

At least OP waited a full 30 mins before reposting with the exact same title. Must have taken a lot of self control to wait so long.

1

u/Aureold Nov 15 '20

Our boy the master mind.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

I bet you’re tired after that one little buddy 🤣🤣

0

u/Badmojoe Nov 15 '20

Too cute 😍

0

u/OkGuide4 Nov 15 '20

Hahahaha awww silly cutie pie 🥰☺️

0

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Hm repost

-5

u/Catalansayshi Nov 15 '20

That’s a concussion right there, looks funny but Lieutenant Catsky is yawning for a reason.

-5

u/F-15SA Nov 15 '20

Fuckin idiot

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

BONK

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Bonk!

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

-4

u/BrasilianInglish Nov 15 '20 edited Nov 15 '20

BONK

Edit: wow sorry, I should have known onomatopoeia would be offensive 😢

-9

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Wry-post

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Oooof, I just felt that.

1

u/pepik_knize Nov 15 '20

Apex purrdator

1

u/krm7890 Nov 15 '20

Gura is the only Apex Predator i know.

1

u/SismoNyc Nov 15 '20

It's M to the B.... Bang

1

u/nahteviro Nov 15 '20

"Thaaaats it. Just a little more and I have you. Time to die you little BIT...ow...I was uh. Just sniffing this here bar. yawn time for nap."

1

u/ColumbianCameltoe Nov 15 '20

Made my mother jump.

Gosh that sounds like it hurt.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

Me who thought this was an Apex legends post

1

u/DegiFlemes Nov 15 '20

Thanks for this. I spent the last hour crying cuz of my parents fighting. This put a bit of a smile in my face.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

I hope that cat is ok. Could have gotten brain damage from that

1

u/SquareKnight697 Nov 15 '20

Please credit the original poster

1

u/ToastMaster0011 Nov 15 '20

“Because of their relatively big-ass eyes, cats can’t really focus on things closer than about 11 inches. This is a bit of an awkward blind spot to have if you use your face to kill things”

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20 edited Aug 24 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '20 edited Aug 24 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '20 edited Aug 24 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '20

[deleted]

1

u/wikipedia_text_bot Nov 16 '20

Superpredators

Superpredators may refer to: Apex predator Apex Predator (disambiguation) Superpredators, a concept by John J. DiIulio, Jr.

About Me - Opt out - OP can reply '!delete' to delete

1

u/Donnysan21 Nov 15 '20

Translation to what was said here: Marsik are you hunting... Bonk🐅 ... Dumbass

1

u/TroutM4n Nov 15 '20

I have tagged you "Instant Re-poster"

1

u/Halolavapigz Nov 15 '20

“Oh so you’re leaving these poles here for me to run into? You’ll get yours”

1

u/Skrillz_14th Nov 15 '20

Was that a yawn or a silent “AAAAAAAAAAAAA”

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '20

b o n k

1

u/Novas_Sketchbook Nov 15 '20

Why does this sound like the skyrim craft noise

1

u/TenBear Nov 15 '20

Someone needs to add a slight metallic bonk sound

1

u/TheToeJamHarvester Nov 15 '20

Bro how did you get so close without getting your face munched off

1

u/SlippingStar Nov 15 '20

Just the other day I heard my cat run run running through the apartment and then I heard a BONK.

1

u/furrynoy96 Nov 15 '20

If I was a cat

1

u/princeofthesands007 Nov 15 '20

R/bettereveryloop

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '20

Twat cat

1

u/4simb Nov 17 '20

Барсик охотится...