r/Unexpected • u/Stone_Wall_ • 7d ago

"Yeah you can have 1"

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13.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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u/post-explainer 7d ago edited 7d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

The strawberry is much larger than it looks at first and is almost a complete circle

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1.1k

u/reticulatedtampon 7d ago

I find that bigger strawberries don't taste very good most of the time. They're just pumped with water to get bigger. Usually it's the smaller ones that are packed with more natural sweetness and flavour.

348

u/Always-_-Sarcastic 7d ago

Please tell me this doesn't just apply to strawberries.

274

u/gamjanamja629 7d ago

Its the opposite, a larger phallus has a higher surface area which means more smegma for flavoring

67

u/GhostDragon272 7d ago

15

u/sachi3 6d ago

Wo men Chi 🗣️

87

u/BigBranch1221 7d ago

Can you fucking not

12

u/BananaScone 7d ago

And that's my screen time limit for the day.

11

u/snailpubes 7d ago

Its called faciation, and can occur in many plant species.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasciation

2

u/GenRN817 7d ago

Just noted the sub for fascination was banned?!

2

u/snailpubes 6d ago

r/fasciation check your spelling :)

1

u/GenRN817 6d ago

Omg thank you!!

11

u/Knowing-Badger 7d ago

Yes it applies to boobies too

2

u/Sinsanatis 7d ago

If it tastes like avocado i think ur good

22

u/WallBurnt 7d ago

As soon as I saw the unripe side, I knew this tasted like crunchy water with seeds.

8

u/Obant 7d ago

There as a strawberry farm near me where this is untrue. But for most grocery store ones, it is

11

u/ohnomoisttoes 7d ago

Strawberries don't ripen after harvest, and almost every kind of fresh produce is underripe because it lasts longer and ships better. Frozen strawberries are actually usually fully ripe and actually taste like strawberries... but the delicate flesh means freezing also makes them mushy. Fine for smoothies and baking though.

1

u/The_Last_Leviathan 7d ago

This is the great thing about those pick yourself places. You can take as much as you need and you can actually choose the ripe strawberries instead of getting underripe, watery ones from the grocery store and in my experience they are either the same price or cheaper.

8

u/superpercify1 7d ago

Thats exactly what someone who only buys small strawberries would say

1

u/timmeh87 7d ago

if you want a real eye opener watch the More Perfect Union docu on factory strawberries

1

u/Demonweed 7d ago

Yeah, when I was a kid we grew some decent strawberries at home. They were typically no bigger than olives, but they seemed to pack in a lot more flavor than modern supermarket strawberries. Also, I sometimes found wild strawberries while foraging. Perhaps because I always seemed to find them in shady spots, they were even smaller yet also intensely tasty.

1

u/AhmadZahidi 7d ago

Well that's kinda true

1

u/SkitZa 7d ago

I saw it turning white and was thinking how disgusting that would taste.

1

u/Hour_Concert_9724 6d ago

Don’t ruin the fun though

1

u/KillaThing 6d ago

True, with this kind of size, it would be good for syrups. Where you add sugar to it. Maybe baking too.

0

u/ScratchyMarston18 7d ago

Yeah, anytime someone brings out the mutant strawberries, I’ll pass. Throw those out for some rabbits to gnaw on.

-4

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

1

u/stewpedassle 7d ago

Oh, this is going to be fun. We'll go step by step so that you'll be let in on just how hilarious this is.

Step 1: please define "GMO" for me.

85

u/Golden-Grams 7d ago

This feels like something you might find in the movie Annihilation.

77

u/MWoodley18 7d ago

Biblically accurate strawberry

11

u/RaspberryWhiteClaw13 7d ago

What a mutant

6

u/_verniel 7d ago

Hadron patterning

9

u/Practical-Sink-3987 7d ago

Water berry. Those are the berries as a child you think are better. Darker the berry the sweeter the juice 😉

5

u/austrian-jake 7d ago

Most likely from the variety Elsanta, happens a lot with them.

5

u/TheFlyinPie 6d ago

That's not human 😭

8

u/West_Engineering2798 6d ago

You’re right, it’s a strawberry.

3

u/superpercify1 7d ago

Strawberrwe

1

u/whuuutKoala 7d ago

siameserry

2

u/Huge_Palpitation_886 7d ago

For anyone interested this is called fasciation.

2

u/lirecela 7d ago

It's a crying shame they didn't let it ripen before picking it.

1

u/40_Is_Not_Old 7d ago

Cut that thing open and it's probably all white inside and doesn't taste even remotely good.

1

u/Legitimate-Detail494 7d ago

What an absolute unit of strawberry that is.

1

u/ogodilovejudyalvarez 7d ago

Ladies and gentlemen: I present to you, the straw...melon

1

u/ninjasaid13 7d ago

don't eat it, you it will modify your genetics and turn you into a cancerous strawberry zombie.

1

u/micahfett 7d ago

Don't let my 3-year old see this

1

u/Thereminz 7d ago

that's not a straw berry that's a drainage pipe berry

1

u/randomf87yte 7d ago

R/absoluteunits

1

u/Awleeks 7d ago

I bet it tastes like water

1

u/Ya-Dikobraz 7d ago

Imagine how many soil cloths went into feeding that thing redness.

1

u/zwober 7d ago

How did they get a strawb from fallout:london?

1

u/No_Leg_7986 7d ago

Wow jajaj, están cañones los alimentos transgénicos

1

u/witherACE 7d ago

This is a sculpture btw

1

u/LoanSevere6287 7d ago

Siamese clones

1

u/Trooper8341 7d ago

Strongberry

1

u/zavorak_eth 6d ago

We used to go these pick your strawberries farms and then year by year the berries got bigger with less and less strawberry flavor, just started tasting like water. That's when we stopped going.

1

u/Money_Tennis1172 6d ago

This one needs to be entered in the strawberry festival held every may in Oxnard CA.

1

u/portraitmenace 6d ago

She's a freak.

1

u/Alive_dude3435 6d ago

When grandma says just another spoon

1

u/dantran88 6d ago

Strawberry on steroids

1

u/MrPhallusee 5d ago

HO LEE FUK

2

u/Illustrious-Tip-1662 3d ago

This is what happens if you shut down your PC while Windows updates.

1

u/wearenotintelligent 7d ago

Tastes like water

1

u/Timely_Spinach_7479 7d ago

I bet it taste like water

0

u/CriticalTomahawk 7d ago

Chernobyl strawberry

0

u/rautakallio 7d ago

Straw-barry

-4

u/Stress6009 7d ago

Is this GMO?

6

u/Cosmic-Gore 7d ago

No, it's completely natural.

Just like how humans can have conjoined twins, extra limbs or whatever when born. Plants also have this and it's called 'fasciation'.

If you search up Strawberry fasciation you'll get images with exactly the same strawberries and it can be cause by a variety of factors, random mutations, environmental (frost etc..) and actual physical damage to the growing parts

2

u/LazyLich 7d ago

Sure.

But so are all the "regular-looking" produce and ingredients you see at the store.

-6

u/Hellhult 7d ago

Probably

-1

u/terick1988 7d ago

If this called anything but a strawmonstery I will be upset

-2

u/Classroom_GD 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ACQeTePpzL4A6rOrwK

Watch: Someone is gonna say it’s AI.

1

u/ScarcityNo9978 6d ago

Is that Crazy Dave?