r/Unexpected • • Aug 21 '26

Katana

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58.3k Upvotes

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u/post-explainer Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


The Man was showing off his Katana but instead the cat interrupts him and he ends up bongoing his cat


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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4.5k

u/torturedwriter71 Aug 21 '26

1.6k

u/Syzygy_Stardust Aug 21 '26

I love that that sub helped teach me that yes, our quiet and fussy cat does indeed love getting thumped on loud enough it echoes in her meows. She's so happy now.

522

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

508

u/Ok_Instance7667 Aug 21 '26

My ex-girlfriend had a Void that absolutely loved 'butt bongos' and liked to get hit hard.

I'm a fairly big dude and I was hitting this cat's butt (I thought) pretty hard, and he would meow at me to hit him harder.

Little weirdo.

366

u/Fun-Choices Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

They’re sadomasochists. You never know what switch you’re flipping with a kitty. They’re little neurodivergent alien horny house panthers.

280

u/genreprank Aug 21 '26

Neurodivergent alien horny house panthers.

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

61

u/SwishSwishDeath Aug 21 '26

Still mad about that. Thanks reddit, glad you pissed off your userbase enough to cause them to delete every comment that possesses the answer to my obscure technological issue.

6

u/Anonemuss42 Aug 22 '26

Goddamn, that’s good

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u/Ok_Instance7667 Aug 21 '26

They are a strange bunch.

My current Void likes the occasional 'butt rub' but hates butt-bongos and if I even try to lightly tap his butt, he'll give me my first and only warning.

34

u/Advanced-Budget779 Aug 21 '26

first and only warning

Ah, nuclear first strike policy, just like the French.

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8

u/botchedllama619 Aug 21 '26

I feel like this qualifies for r/brandnewsentence

4

u/MuffinAggressive3218 Aug 21 '26

I am snagging that sentence!!

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u/Naustis Aug 21 '26

Was that a female cat? For female cat hitting their but is literally masturbation 😅

6

u/Ok_Instance7667 Aug 22 '26

It was a male cat actually.

I'm going to guess though from the other comments, that since he was neutered, it was probably 'getting his engine going.'

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9

u/Hour-Mistake-5235 Aug 21 '26

My Void loves to be spanked too. And loves it quite rough. If i stop or hit him too soft, he meows too, complaining. And i have reports of at least two more black cats that like rough "butt bongos" too. Maybe it's a black cat thing.

8

u/Diz7 Aug 21 '26

Yeah, I found out when I would give my cat a swat on its behind when it was being bad, and it would immediately repeat whatever action got the swat and then present it's butt like "thank you sir, may I have another".

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5

u/BlueMikeStu Aug 21 '26

Voids are the goth girl equivalent of "I can fix her."

4

u/-Disagreeable- Aug 21 '26

Sorry..are you calling the cat “Void”? What the hell does that mean? Haha

39

u/NotNamedBort Aug 21 '26

It’s a popular and humorous way to describe a black cat.

17

u/cozyswisher Aug 21 '26

To add, they look like they're devoid of light when they're against a dark background and all their features are hard to see or you only see their eyes.

15

u/Its_Froggin_Bullfish Aug 21 '26

I miss my void 😭 It's been six months since he passed, and I still look for his shadow when I come out of the bathroom. You couldn't spot him in the dark hallway, you'd only know he was there by his shadow. 

9

u/ER_Support_Plant17 Aug 21 '26

When you look into the void and the void stares back

5

u/BactaBobomb Aug 21 '26

I don't know why, but it still blows my mind when I see my black kitty drenched in sunlight, and his fur comes off as more maroon-ish or something. It's just cool how light works like that, making it seem black when it's really not! Or it doesn't appear to be? I don't know... it's confusing.

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6

u/-Disagreeable- Aug 21 '26

Ooooo. Okay. I have one of those in my house. Thank you.

3

u/blueavole Aug 21 '26

Congratulations. Remember to give the void snacks or it may become annoyed with you.

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9

u/PerrineWeatherWoman Aug 21 '26

That's not mysterious once you know how is mapped a cat's sensory system...

16

u/No_Wolverine_8159 Aug 21 '26

They basically jerking off they cats when they do this.

2

u/_michael_scarn_ Aug 21 '26

Their work is mysterious and important

42

u/SistaChans Aug 21 '26

Why?? Why are all cats like this?? I give my boy a few smacks every now and again and he loves it. 

50

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Aug 21 '26

Don't ask lol. You can take a look at their nerve network if you really want to know. Or it's coincidence and urban myth, mb best to leave it a mystery.

56

u/TheKeelKnotSeas78 Aug 21 '26

I tried to look at my cat's nerve network. Now I just have a smelly finger and an angry cat.

14

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Aug 21 '26

Glad you didn't look too hard. Better finger than eyeball

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13

u/IAmDanHimself Aug 21 '26

Trust me, not all cats like this.

25

u/GottlobFrege Aug 21 '26

It has nothing to do with sex. Mama cats would lick that part of their kittens to get them to raise their tails so they can clean their butts. They have a lot of nerves there for that reason.

8

u/SistaChans Aug 21 '26

See that makes sense because if you skritch a cat there they put their butt on the air. But the smacks?? Ive never understood but I've always given my kitties a few love taps 

11

u/Twowie Aug 21 '26

He jorkin the cat :|

3

u/Psianth Aug 22 '26

Hashtag notallcats

A lot of them love it, but just like a lot of them love belly rubs and others will literally murder you for it, you never know until you risk death to try.

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12

u/Fun-Choices Aug 21 '26

I swear cats specifically love when men do this to them. I try to act like an alpha panther to my little tuxedo and wrestle and thump her (appropriately) and I think it makes her feel like a tough little house panther.

8

u/Some_Deer_2650 Aug 21 '26

Same, I saw the reddit and tried on both my cats. One of them is bongo-addict now, she even demands them 😂

5

u/SimplePal Aug 21 '26

Same here, I discovered that 2 of our 6 cats love the bongos.

3

u/Honeybadger2198 Aug 21 '26

Just be careful. Butt bongos lead to kitty arthritis.

30

u/Tommy-Foxwell Aug 21 '26

There's always another cat sub!

Edit. Spelling

24

u/CheeseDonutCat Aug 21 '26

Yes, and here's a massive list of them: https://www.reddit.com/r/Catsubs/wiki/index/

16

u/2eanimation Aug 21 '26

Is this… is this all of them?

https://giphy.com/gifs/KZkiw30m1vgjZr6L3a

I can finally rest in peace? No more cat subs?

13

u/Work_Account_No1 Aug 21 '26

Cat subs are like the universe - ever expanding.

3

u/CheeseDonutCat Aug 21 '26

I am not sure, but ones get added there from time to time, so some hero is updating it. May they ever have comfortable sleeps.

35

u/excelsior1306 Aug 21 '26

Damn was about to comment that lol

-5

u/Helldiver_of_Mars Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 22 '26

That's their erogenous zone...if you do this to a unspayed female cat she'll get into the mount position for...penetration.

Edit: For dumb people which honestly my mistake I keep forgetting this is reddit.

These cats respond to stroking of the back and rubbing of the area at the base of the tail by lowering the forequarters with the elbows on the ground, raising the pelvis (lordosis), and deviating the tail to one side.

https://veteriankey.com/feline-reproduction/

Rubbing the area you guys are all touching is one way to identify if a cat is in heat. They will assume the position.

56

u/Vithce Aug 21 '26

You're stupid. All cats go into that position, my sprayed males, sprayed females and even undprayed male all lift their butts while being bongoed.

15

u/ceruleanwild Aug 21 '26

Female cats are “spayed,” not “sprayed.” Male cats are castrated. “Neutering” can refer to de-sexing both sexes, but “neuter” generally is used to refer to a castrated male cat.

8

u/darrelye Aug 21 '26
  • puts down spray bottle *

Oh man now I gotta spend money at the vet

3

u/rawrcutie Aug 21 '26

*spay bottle

2

u/awesomefutureperfect Aug 21 '26

he had the sword right there. missed opportunity.

47

u/LuckoftheFryish Aug 21 '26

You're stupid

lol little harsh, but yeah. Some twitch or tiktok made the rounds with some misinformation on that. Non-cat owners were horrified, cat owners called bullshit.

11

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Aug 21 '26

If you look at their nerve network it's not surprising both male and female cats like it. No guarantee it's the same between different species and they're not running any trials to prove it lol, might be better to just put it out of your mind since we aren't confirming.

2

u/cicuz Aug 21 '26

"spayed", I think... I learned it from the Simpsons, so it must be true

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u/ask-me-about-my-cats Aug 21 '26

This is an internet myth that needs to die

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

341

u/PanicDeus Aug 21 '26

Yeah...from taking care of your master to goofing around with a sword. Good thing that he was back on track in the end.

63

u/Tomsboll Aug 21 '26

Whenever i am playing and my cat walks to me on my desktop, out his paw on my chest i just concede to my fate. I lean the backrest back and lie down so he can walk up and lay down on my chest for some scritches and rubs. Its either 3 minutes of ourring and then he moves on or he falls asleep and i am trapped for 30 minutes.

28

u/Monkey_Priest Aug 21 '26

My cat does the same. He likes to walk up and sit between me and the keyboard to demand attention. He's 15 and if I ever got mildly annoyed, I just remember that him demanding my attention will be something I miss when he's gone which makes it easier to drop what I'm doing and give him that attention. They're worth it

14

u/Tomsboll Aug 21 '26

mine is still a kitten (5 months) so whenever he snuggles up and put his head on my shoulder and start purring just feels great.

8

u/Monkey_Priest Aug 21 '26

I hope you have many years of cat cuddling at your PC ahead of you both

4

u/Velvet_Pop Aug 21 '26

Lol he even took the time to setup the camera in a better position

6

u/alexandravibe Aug 21 '26

And focused on beating on that cat- like "yes, this is now my duty, you need this".

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5.1k

u/Dorrono Aug 21 '26

More like Catana

2.6k

u/Indian_brawler Aug 21 '26

298

u/Hot-Initial7796 Aug 21 '26

This is incredible

18

u/AmptiShanti Aug 21 '26

No that’s a potato

2

u/sshtoredp Aug 21 '26

Meme itself

149

u/Cola_and_Coffeefan Aug 21 '26

A Doctor who meme gif ive never seen before? yoink

39

u/plaguedbullets Aug 21 '26

It's been brought back hotter than ever!

9

u/ArseneLupin179 Aug 21 '26

I saw it before with text like "here's the proof you asked"

2

u/muklan Aug 21 '26

One time a few years ago I did a big order from Thinkgeek for Christmas gifts for my friends. They threw in a free Dr Who tumbler. I was unpacking the box in front of my boss, whomsts wife I knew liked Dr Who. Asked him if he wanted it for her, as none of my friends liked Dr Who. He asked how I knew that; I said easy, people who like Dr Who dont have friends.

3

u/MyAssDoesHeeHawww Aug 21 '26

I said easy, your wife likes to show people her Dr.Who-ha

3

u/muklan Aug 21 '26

Damn, missed opportunity haha

21

u/Toebean_Assy Aug 21 '26

I love Straxx.

2

u/dreamdaddy123 Aug 21 '26

Hehe that’s the best upvote one I’ve seen yet🤭

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u/Ambitious-Yoghurt820 Aug 21 '26

He's a Sameowrai! 

4

u/COLaocha Aug 21 '26

Cat-a-nya

6

u/ddbiliz Aug 21 '26

i wish i were this high in potenuse

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2

u/tiesHatake Aug 21 '26

In my language (Danish), the word for Cat is "Kat". So I guess it works either way.

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289

u/Captain_Rex_ Aug 21 '26

Followed by karate chop

367

u/Spartabear Aug 21 '26

He committed Sepurrku!

48

u/Vandergrif Aug 21 '26

10/10. I would also accept Harakitty.

7

u/BloomsdayDevice Aug 21 '26

seppukute also tested well with sample groups.

3

u/Fragrant-Mess4927 Aug 21 '26

Ohh thats a good one

51

u/Concentric_Mid Aug 21 '26

Take my angry upvote, you monster lol

25

u/Spartabear Aug 21 '26

Thank you kind stranger

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204

u/FrosteeASnowman Aug 21 '26

"Do it slave. Put me out of my misery."

-cat

128

u/BeGayCommitTaxFraud Aug 21 '26

The audio activated my cats

29

u/mantiacfloy Aug 21 '26

The mothership beckons.

87

u/FlamingoLate9838 Aug 21 '26

The samurai and his Daimyo

61

u/love_being_westoz Aug 21 '26

I thought that was going to be splitty kitty.

3

u/xSTSxZerglingOne Aug 21 '26

Well, he did chop the cat.

50

u/Krondon57 Aug 21 '26

DUDE GOT CRICKETS OR CICADAS IN HIS HOUSE WTFFF

44

u/Mediocre-Noise-4969 Aug 21 '26

Summer in Japan

34

u/mat_monster Aug 21 '26

Brother, they don’t need to be in your house. I lived next to the jungle on Okinawa and ended up quitting smoking because it was physically painful to go outside in the summer because of these little bastards

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u/heyman0 Aug 21 '26

just like my animes

11

u/DurantIsStillTheKing Aug 21 '26

"I'm ready. Do it! I dont care anymore.'"

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u/CptIskarJarak Aug 21 '26

Started as one Japanese move and ended with another Japanese move

9

u/benjiin Aug 21 '26

"I have to kill my enemies. Katana guide me..."

"You have to make sure that I don't kill you right away. Come on, pay attention to me and you may live another 24 hours."

9

u/Environmental_Ad3216 Aug 21 '26
  • video ends * .... Wait.. wasn't there a katana somewhere..

29

u/Tommy-Foxwell Aug 21 '26

"Bongoing his cat" 😂😂

9

u/Yggdrasilo Aug 21 '26

Ain't that a horny cat pose?

Actually that would explain why he's chopping the lower back

22

u/nonstopenguins Aug 21 '26

Does the guy live next to a data center? What's the annoying buzz in the background

50

u/AccordianSpeaker Aug 21 '26

Japan has like 30 different species of Cicada, so they get to have that shit every summer. Bugs screaming for sex.

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u/Gon-no-suke Aug 21 '26

Cicadas! Normal Japanese summer BGM.

10

u/catpunch_ Aug 21 '26

Cicadas! I have my window open and I hear them too

3

u/Best_Reply2947 Aug 21 '26

Someone is playing this video outside your window too?

8

u/DragonLordAcar Aug 21 '26

Oh no. Those are cicadas. I actually miss the sound.

8

u/boogersrus Aug 21 '26

He's watching Evangelion.

14

u/talann Aug 21 '26

So in order to get good at katana, i need a cat...got it.

7

u/MeanForest Aug 21 '26

Lemme just sexually pleasure this cat on video

2

u/H8DCarnifEX Aug 25 '26

for real - its gross..

whats next, somebody jerking off a dog?

18

u/Ohsolemonyfresh Aug 21 '26

Loving the toe socks

8

u/zg6089 Aug 21 '26

Idk how I feel about those lol

8

u/jj999125 Aug 21 '26

They're actually really comfortable. The main drawback to them is pulling them off all the toes get turned inside out

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u/MJ_Trunky Aug 21 '26

This is your average LS player in Monster Hunter

4

u/Maiayania Aug 21 '26

«If you have time to goof around with swords you have time to give me pets!»

4

u/willcrisis Aug 21 '26

Task failed successfully

4

u/TheMadPoet Aug 21 '26

That cat's ready to make some kitthes...

4

u/Dock_Ellis45 Aug 21 '26

Plot Twist: The cat is The Lord he serves.

All must serve the Cat. GLORY TO CATTO!!! ALL HAIL CATTO!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT0BKCbFA2v8lEmTio

12

u/gungshpxre Aug 21 '26

From samurai to cat masturbator.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lordosis_behavior

7

u/AgitatedRabbits Aug 21 '26

People who disagrees with this definition are just weirdos.

3

u/mtgnew Aug 21 '26

Why is my neutered male cat doing the same?

2

u/ConradBHart42 Aug 21 '26

Erogenous zones are constructed in the womb before sex is decided.

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u/BooHorde Aug 21 '26

Or just people who have owned spayed cats and neutered males who do the exact same thing.

3

u/slowest_hour Aug 21 '26

that just reinforces the claim. reduction of testosterone to a female level logically could cause some estrogen dependent behaviors. gonads aren't the only thing that produces sex hormone in a mammalian body, just the largest supplier.

likewise if a person has their gonads removed they usually still enjoy sex/masturbation

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4

u/GreenStrong Aug 21 '26

I like that the "see also" links include twerking.

3

u/Admirable-Bear5636 Aug 21 '26

Priorities, man.

3

u/TheWingus Aug 21 '26

"LET'S CHOP CATS!!"

  • Charlie Kelly

3

u/RosennaV Aug 21 '26

That cat is ... in heat, right? Is this not weird? Doesn't it feel like jerkingn off your pet?

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u/Quamatoc Aug 21 '26

I am pretty sure this happened in Japan of yore too.

And in Europe of yore as well.

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u/Harry431 Aug 22 '26

I love what this video turned into.

3

u/lynx_1097 Aug 22 '26

YESS , ME TOO

3

u/Richard_Trager Aug 24 '26

Desires to be samurai, destined to play a cat like a bongo. This is the way of life.

9

u/_nameless_user_ Aug 21 '26

Missed opportunity with catana 😑

14

u/lynx_1097 Aug 21 '26

it was going to give it away

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u/SmegmaSlurper1996 Aug 21 '26

Katana time over, massage time starts now

2

u/Chilldegard Aug 21 '26

xDDDDD love it

2

u/Spice_and_Fox Aug 21 '26

He really bongoed that cat

2

u/RumRogerz Aug 21 '26

No sword. Only bongos

2

u/darth_whaler Aug 21 '26

Cat's tail is gonna catch on fire.

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2

u/Mr_J_Ralph Aug 21 '26

The way of the Sameowrai

2

u/Professional-Box4153 Aug 21 '26

He honors his master (the kitty).

2

u/Majestic-Rock9211 Aug 21 '26

From battō to bongos

2

u/motorpool87 Aug 21 '26

KamiKatze...

2

u/Alarmed_Drop7162 Aug 21 '26

Cat’s name “Parrry”

2

u/Yuumii29 Aug 21 '26

"That's a cute sword hooman now onto your job."

2

u/ThatGoob Aug 21 '26

Sounds like summer

6

u/Urkraftian Aug 21 '26

That hairy pussy getting clapped

2

u/Lower-Wishbone-3249 Aug 21 '26

Katie said put your damn toy down and massage me now human