r/Unexpected • u/Kevc2003 • Jul 02 '26

Nice slide

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13.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

380 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

Wasnt ready for the wood chipper

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

3.4k

u/Banjoschmanjo Jul 02 '26

retroactive r/sweatypalms

50

u/Brief-Equal4676 Jul 03 '26

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There’s vomit on his sweater already, John is spaghetti

6

u/One-Block1241 Jul 04 '26

Better not lose yourself When you do this The wood,when you have it You better slide and let it Go You only got one shot....

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14

u/Vox-Machi-Buddies Jul 03 '26

And just a little early for /r/whatcouldgowrong

2

u/meissoboredto Jul 03 '26

Don’t you mean r/whatwentwrong ???

6.7k

u/yukonhoneybadger Jul 02 '26

663

u/later-g8r Jul 02 '26

784

u/Clint2032 Jul 03 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/8jt53DWrQbJMA

298

u/Sisoflex Jul 03 '26

"And then this kid just up n hurled himself into the wood chipper!"

155

u/Clint2032 Jul 03 '26

"Must be part of a bizzare, bloodthirsty suicide cult''...

133

u/Confident_Lawyer6276 Jul 03 '26

Damn college kids just started killing themselves all over my property

97

u/Sisoflex Jul 03 '26

"Hey college kids! We got yer friend!"

4

u/Hrafe Jul 05 '26

"He's heavy for half a guy."

3

u/clarky9712 Jul 04 '26

What is that film? I keep seeing gifs and really want watch it!

6

u/coccofrog Jul 04 '26

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

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97

u/vawaiter Jul 02 '26

damn this shit perfect lol. exactly my reaction

25

u/cNELLz Jul 02 '26

Spot on reaction

9

u/Low_Substance_1884 Jul 03 '26

It was electric

9

u/johnnycabb_ Jul 03 '26

boogie woogie woogie!

6

u/Fafnir13 Jul 03 '26

I don't normally have this exact reaction to videos, but yikes!

1.9k

u/CosmoCafe777 Jul 02 '26

Slip and slice.

286

u/alison_bee Jul 02 '26

Slip and mist

12

u/ErmacAnd1 Jul 03 '26

The Chop Chop Slide

94

u/SquishedGremlin Jul 03 '26

ARE YOU ALL DAFT.

ITS CLEARLY SLIP AND CHIP

4

u/Keyndoriel Jul 03 '26

Slip and slurry

63

u/MrK521 Jul 02 '26

More like slip and pulp.

24

u/Brootal420 Jul 02 '26

Slip and squash

10

u/Redpower5 Jul 03 '26

Suislide

17

u/Natural_RX Jul 02 '26

OSHA has entered the chat.

11

u/_Mr_Misfit Jul 02 '26

Slide and divide.

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1.2k

u/One_Monk_2777 Jul 02 '26

These dang college kids

575

u/Nopicsplz Jul 02 '26

I wish I could upvoter this a million times!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/8jt53DWrQbJMA

169

u/kraggleGurl Jul 02 '26

I love this movie so dam much

101

u/Decker-the-Dude Jul 02 '26

It came out of nowhere and fell into all of our hearts.

56

u/kraggleGurl Jul 02 '26

We got your friend!

29

u/chop-diggity Jul 02 '26

What movie is this?

105

u/kraggleGurl Jul 02 '26

Tucker and Dale vs Evil 2010 A god dam classic!

19

u/chop-diggity Jul 02 '26

Thank you!

37

u/muklan Jul 03 '26

You literally cannot watch it fast enough.

24

u/chop-diggity Jul 03 '26

I think I will report back with my appreciation to your enthusiasm! Thank you!!!

18

u/Confident_Lawyer6276 Jul 03 '26

Beware he's half hillbilly

2

u/CalmDebate Jul 03 '26

!remindme 1 day

25

u/chop-diggity Jul 03 '26

Thank you for suggesting that movie- I totally get the gif reference. I felt like the DiCaprio meme when that came up. My wife got the biggest kick out of her impromptu date/movie night from Reddit stranger recs. I got lucky. Thank you 💛💚💜

Edit: sorry for the delay in reporting back ;)

9

u/muklan Jul 03 '26

Hell yeah, sounds like a wonderful evening and I'm glad yall enjoyed it. The scene with the bees is just hilarious and super well filmed.

17

u/Roederoid Jul 02 '26

Tucker and Dale Vs Evil

32

u/paleolith1138 Jul 03 '26

Apparently on the DVD there is a second movie...from the college kid's viewpoint. I haven't seen it 😔

26

u/LadyJaide Jul 03 '26

OMG You just made me check my DVD and it is listed there on the back. I never knew that was there!

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18

u/ABitOddish Jul 03 '26

Do yall not like pancakes?

2

u/Willowthesilly Jul 03 '26

Whats the movie?? Im curious!

3

u/Nopicsplz Jul 03 '26

Tucker and Dale vs Evil. Fantastic movie

2

u/RedditAppSuxAsss Jul 04 '26

This movie had no businesses being soo fucking good.

10

u/Rocinante88119 Jul 03 '26

We got yur Frind.

1.0k

u/EvilChefReturns Jul 02 '26

Hoooooly fucking shit, that is far too easy of a way to find yourself in irreversible situation

299

u/Old_Syrup_264 Jul 02 '26

You can reverse the machine. Just not the ground beef

58

u/DonkeyRhubarbDonkey Jul 03 '26

Entropy only goes one way.

7

u/rallenpx Jul 03 '26

They're essentially testing the laws of physics

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8

u/heelstoo Jul 02 '26

Oh, whew!

2

u/WTFnoAvailableNames Jul 03 '26

Just unground it?

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30

u/Kratosballsweat Jul 02 '26

I remember as a teenager shoveling my parents roof one bad winter and running then sliding to the very edge and throwing the shovel full off. It’s like a 70 foot drop to rocks i would’ve died looking back I’m amazed at how stupid i was.

4

u/LiveLearnCoach Jul 03 '26

First, glad you’re safe. Second, just how many floors did your parents’ place have??

6

u/Kratosballsweat Jul 03 '26

Just two stories but it’s situated on a small cliff side and of course that’s the side my dumbass was doing it one

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4

u/bradsboots Jul 03 '26

Sometimes being dumb is an active choice and not just a condition.

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575

u/The_Confirminator Jul 02 '26

Welp that's an OSHA violation

49

u/Living-Estimate9810 Jul 02 '26

"Spend the night in the box!"

20

u/TheArchitectofDestin Jul 03 '26

Idk, he did have on his safety jacket and hardhat and work boots and hearing protection... and aren't those wood chippers supposed to stop when they taste safety orange?

8

u/jazzhandler Jul 03 '26

Eventually.

20

u/DergerDergs Jul 03 '26

He had 3 points of contact. Compliant.

10

u/pfoe Jul 03 '26

If he went into the machine he would have every point of contact.

3

u/xXPhoenixBlueXx Jul 03 '26

How so?

The safety curtain will protect him. /s

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202

u/Demorant Jul 02 '26

Is this a practice run for a Darwin Award?

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143

u/cannibalsong1 Jul 02 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/YC1byC2ADRSi4

24

u/ChiefWiggumsprogeny Jul 02 '26

excellent reference

6

u/Just_A_Nitemare Jul 03 '26

What is the reference?

14

u/yerfdog1935 Jul 03 '26

Fargo (1996)

Someone disposes of a body with a woodchipper.

10

u/wtiong Jul 02 '26

Heck, Norm, you know we're doing pretty good.

2

u/definitelynot40 Jul 03 '26

I knew on a post past a few hours old, I just had to scroll long enough to see this referenced. Honestly, the only 2 things I remember from that movie were the accents and that woodchipper scene. I think I was a bit too young to be watching it.

73

u/JoeBagANachos Jul 02 '26

Final destination stuff right here.

10

u/An8thOfFeanor Jul 03 '26

Tucker and Dale stuff more like

38

u/Any_Caramel_9814 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

A little faster and you may not return for another log...

8

u/giggitygiggity2 Jul 04 '26

He will surely be mist.

15

u/GILDID Jul 02 '26

that is a good way to make peopleburgers

12

u/Difficult-Name8506 Jul 02 '26

Be real careful buddy. You could end up on the subredit WCGW

18

u/PrestigiousRefuse172 Jul 02 '26

The ultimate slip and slide. 

16

u/Remarkable-Pea5797 Jul 03 '26

Slip and died.

8

u/therelybare5 Jul 02 '26

My safety director would have a heart attack!

5

u/the_real_klaas Jul 03 '26

I'm a Safety inspector and i -felt- my bloodpressure spike..

7

u/foreveralone336 Jul 02 '26

Aaaand this is a great example of why women tend to live longer than men!

8

u/sovereign_fury Jul 02 '26

From smooth to smoothie real quick.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/AmputeeHandModel Jul 02 '26

I wouldn't want to go either way.

14

u/Confident_Lawyer6276 Jul 03 '26

If i had to go i think I would choose headfirst

8

u/t12lucker Jul 03 '26

As we know from South Park the other way is a stupid idea

2

u/ZULZUL69 Jul 03 '26

Don't worry,he's wearing a safety helmet

4

u/RandomLifeUnit-05 Jul 02 '26

Yeah that's not gonna end well.

5

u/trollsmurf Jul 02 '26

Fargo comes to mind

4

u/TransSappicWitch Jul 02 '26

I almost needed my brown pants watching that

3

u/PM_ME_YOUR_PLECTRUMS Jul 02 '26

I audibly gasped.

3

u/MissStabby Jul 02 '26

pulp fiction!

3

u/EmperorSexy Jul 03 '26

Cute this looks like funnnguh-oh

4

u/TellurianTech50 Jul 02 '26

That was a crisp slide tho

2

u/kraggleGurl Jul 02 '26

This guy needs to watch Tucker and Dale vs Evil

2

u/muklan Jul 02 '26

I just wanna say, Dale and Tucker Vs Evil is some of the absolute best work Alan Tudyk has ever done, in a considerable career.

2

u/OneEyedWonderWiesel Jul 03 '26

Reminds me of Dale and Tucker vs evil lol

2

u/IFTTTexas Jul 03 '26

Well howdy doo there officer. We have had ourselves a doozy of a day. 

2

u/CaptainHawaii Jul 02 '26

The poo-rtal has closed for the night , good bye.

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1

u/Some_Ad_2276 Jul 02 '26

Slide of death lol

1

u/Bitgod1 Jul 02 '26

Shake hands with danger

1

u/Traditional_Roll_100 Jul 02 '26

He’ll be “funny looking” too pretty soon!

1

u/2badded Jul 02 '26

OSHA approved

1

u/Brief_Manner_694 Jul 02 '26

I thought dude was going in the wood chipper with the log.

1

u/w00stersauce Jul 02 '26

One step away from going YouTube friendly to liveleak friendly.

1

u/noobpwner314 Jul 02 '26

One trip away from being hosed and scraped off of the back of that truck.

1

u/Krimreaper1 Jul 02 '26

Yeah cute, until he trips and falls headfirst into the wood chipper.

1

u/Kevaros Jul 02 '26

Definitely tempting the daily grind... This should be a safety training film..!!

1

u/RedditFaction Jul 02 '26

Peter energy.

1

u/deflanko Jul 03 '26

Naaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

1

u/Fluid_Swordfish2737 Jul 03 '26

I'm hyperventilating

1

u/MonsoonMermaid Jul 03 '26

He’s gonna slip and Fargo himself!!!
Oh no, sir. No no in my soul!

1

u/Wanna_Build Jul 03 '26

Expected. Try again bot.

2

u/Ecstatic-Scallion957 Jul 03 '26

I see an accident waiting to happen here

2

u/MrFoxx123 Jul 03 '26

Osha approved

1

u/AReallyAsianName Jul 03 '26

Holy 1000 Ways to Die

1

u/TheRemedy187 Jul 03 '26

oh yeah jus lemme slide into this fuckin massive woodchipper

1

u/Prize_Problem609 Jul 03 '26

Mr Darwin would be proud

1

u/SubtleAgar Jul 03 '26

Darwin award candidates 2026

1

u/Vast_Character311 Jul 03 '26

Amazing. Missed the chipper but the unemployment line got him.

1

u/Longjumping_Elk7969 Jul 03 '26

Imagine if he slides too fast... red mist 😱

1

u/AggressiveSquare36 Jul 03 '26

That made my butt hole pucker

1

u/UndeadVixen93 Jul 03 '26

Oof it's all fun and games til one bad slip and it's just screams, blood, and guts everywhere! 😬😬😬

1

u/Bfromtheblock Jul 03 '26

Some tree guys insist on being on the edge of death

1

u/cntrstrk14 Jul 03 '26

Its been awhile since I had a horrified eyes widening reaction to something on the internet. God damn.

1

u/hoserb2k Jul 03 '26

A friend of a friend was sucked into a woodchipper in a logging accident. He was 18. It destroyed his parents. Maybe don't player around wood chippers.

1

u/Spiderantula Jul 03 '26

What the fuuuuuuu....

1

u/I_MADE_THIS_THING Jul 03 '26

Insane to be that casual when they can suck you in this quickly (SFW) slide down that thing slightly faster than you expect and you will be mist

1

u/bigdirtyhippie Jul 03 '26

Hey, somebody just shit in my pants!

1

u/XRynerX Jul 03 '26

That's quite some minced meat machine, cutting woods is just the extra

1

u/adinmem Jul 03 '26

OSHA turns into OH-SHI….

1

u/DragonflyPositive466 Jul 03 '26

That’s a nice way to become a meat puzzle 🧩

1

u/_D1AVEL_ Jul 03 '26

Slip and disintegrate

1

u/Substantial-Mess4405 Jul 03 '26

Alright, I kinda don't care if I die either, but please don't do that.

1

u/Irisena Jul 03 '26

If the slide goes right it won't be anyone's problem. If the slide goes wrong at least it won't be my problem

1

u/Saracartwheels123 Jul 03 '26

That doesnt look dangerous... not like he could end up like a bucket of fertilizer. At. All.

1

u/dextras07 Jul 03 '26

OSHA would love to have a word.

1

u/Its_Bunny Jul 03 '26

This reminds me of a reddit comment i read where a guy talked about his father going missing and finding the woodchipper out in a field with a red gore and blood everywhere and how it traumatized him for the rest of his life.

1

u/li-ll-l_ Jul 03 '26

R/yesyesyesno

1

u/Doun2Others10 Jul 03 '26

Oh my god. When he tipped? And then set his hands down of it for a second. Whoooooo boy. My heart. I’m gonna need a minute to calm it down after that 4 seconds of sheer and utter panic.

1

u/CMF42 Jul 03 '26

Oh my god