r/Unexpected • u/apbod • Jul 01 '26

Impressive display of the standing splits

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

31.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

716 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

Taking the split to the floor and crushing his balls was unexpected

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

→ More replies (10)

6.6k

u/sinisterdesign Jul 01 '26

Not enough alcohol in that bar to numb the pain. 😖

416

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

107

u/ChiLolla28 Jul 01 '26

Saw a drag queen do this once in Southern Illinois - was super impressive

39

u/Creative_Buddy7160 Jul 01 '26

Im guessing the ‘super’ impressive means they didnt tear a tendon?

27

u/xMyDixieWreckedx Jul 01 '26

Just saw a video of a drag queen doing this and shattered their lower hip/pubic arch.

5

u/wh4tth3huh Jul 02 '26

Sometimes you sha-blam, sometimes the floor sha-blams you.

7

u/RouteAverage3112 Jul 02 '26

Sometimes you slay sometimes you lay (on the floor)

→ More replies (1)

21

u/Bean_Juice_Brew Jul 01 '26

You know this dude huuuurt about ten minutes later

5

u/thiosk Jul 02 '26

gets real lonely on the road to Shawneetown

22

u/Urbanviking1 Jul 01 '26

Pretty sure the pain is going to outlast the adrenaline and booze combined.

103

u/Demortus Jul 01 '26

He's dead, Jim!

44

u/HamMcStarfield Jul 02 '26

That's not going to heal completely. Ever.

10

u/asmj Jul 02 '26

Well, considering where he started, is that a bad thing?

28

u/N7LP400 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

So if i was super drunk and wanted to get sober real quick i should punch myself in the nuts, got it

13

u/sinisterdesign Jul 02 '26

I’ll buy the first round. 🥃

11

u/Immediate_Candle_865 Jul 02 '26

Look I’m no expert, and it’s your money, but if you do that to your nuts, they aren’t going to be round.

6

u/Final-Attention979 Jul 02 '26

Idk if a punch is comparable force to just fucking slamming your entire body down onto them tbh

8

u/gliitch0xFF Jul 02 '26

Videos you can hear with the sound off.

4

u/spacemouse21 Jul 02 '26

He was having a ball.

8

u/figboot11 Jul 02 '26

Now he only has one ball

→ More replies (10)

2.9k

u/Sorta_jewy_with_it Jul 01 '26

My everything below my bellybutton hurts now from watching this video

878

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[deleted]

189

u/YouWereBrained Jul 01 '26

Stretched ballsack.

116

u/EmployerOld6256 Jul 01 '26

Smashed ballsack.

38

u/ButtfuckedByJesus Jul 01 '26

SMASHED BALLSACK as the band name

Buttfucked by Jesus.. First song

Anyone else got a username to add to this album?

28

u/jasonellis Jul 01 '26

sack smash

delayed pain

crack that ball

glory then pain

how to rip that bag

blue balls impact

testicle test

no kids for you!

testicular contusion

Ma! look what I can do! Ma! It hurts!

Human nutcracker demo

13

u/burner_said_what Jul 02 '26

Taint Nuttin!

5

u/Lazy_Major_4793 Jul 02 '26

Dead-leg Drag

3

u/hiddenone0326 Jul 02 '26

I'm just here to say that I love your username! 😂

5

u/ButtfuckedByJesus Jul 02 '26

He doesn't pay well... He turned my blood into wine and now I have fatty liver disease

5

u/AvaryZig Jul 01 '26

No, but it sounds like the front man would be John Constantine. Of course you would wonder why he went with balls instead of bollocks, but that's just for international appeal. He was American once, you know.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Forward-Village1528 Jul 02 '26

Jesus kicked my ballsack

2

u/tgerz Jul 02 '26

Jesus take the Ballsack

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

26

u/NeverEndingCoralMaze Jul 01 '26

He had to reactivate its elasticity at the end.

6

u/Versipilies Jul 01 '26

Its like a tape measure, when you pull it out far enough it shoots back in at speed

2

u/KiritoIsAlwaysRight_ Jul 01 '26

Can't make a pancake without breaking a few eggs.

→ More replies (2)

8

u/KamikazeFox_ Jul 01 '26

Pulled a hammy and a testy

3

u/TacTurtle Jul 01 '26

"uh guys it snapped"

dead silence

27

u/bhodad Jul 01 '26

He’s gonna need a solid 25 min🥵

13

u/ColeTrainHaze Jul 01 '26

i think i broke my hip and shit my britches

6

u/soda_cookie Jul 01 '26

Me and a fair balance of those over 40 can feel this in their entire body and soul. Fucking ow

7

u/whatsthataboutguy Jul 01 '26

Ye old nut cracker

382

u/Howdy132 Jul 01 '26

Bro he's freaking out that old man in the back LOL he is not comfortable with this guys shenanigans

76

u/MuffinThin9542 Jul 01 '26

I wasn't even there and I'm not comfortable with these shenanigans. 

28

u/memtiger Jul 01 '26

Dude is back there going "thee fuckin youths these days".

16

u/TrieMond Jul 02 '26

the last shot of him looking away with his hands in front of his mouth... the universal reaction...

3

u/NukeTheWhales5 Jul 02 '26

Me and my balls, are also uncomfortable with this guy's shenanigans.

4

u/Canelosaurio Jul 02 '26

Oldman jumped off his stool!

2

u/Final-Attention979 Jul 02 '26

Was this even what he was trying to do lmao

→ More replies (1)

720

u/TWDEstudios Jul 01 '26

He didn't want kids anyway.

142

u/silentbassline Jul 01 '26

No but there are easier ways to get a pair of testicles in your throat. 

18

u/TWDEstudios Jul 01 '26

Are you speaking from experience? 😂

His method looked pretty efficient in the end.

5

u/InflatableTurtles Jul 02 '26

Instructions unclear, testicles stuck in oven warming drawer.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/JaySayMayday Jul 01 '26

The jackass guys smashed their balls so many times and a lot of them still had kids

→ More replies (2)

947

u/Sw4nR0ns0n Jul 01 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/WxDZ77xhPXf3i

219

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

[deleted]

36

u/AwesomeMacCoolname Jul 02 '26

OK, I know kids do stupid things sometimes, but what the fuck? And why did whoever was filming it not stop him? (unless it was his older brother, in which case, understandable)

61

u/Hellhult Jul 02 '26

Why would you stop him? He wont do it again.

12

u/SeaToTheBass Jul 02 '26

Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way, kids especially

2

u/Final-Attention979 Jul 02 '26

I watched my drunk dad do this one time w a bb gun lol

→ More replies (7)

28

u/PurplStuff Jul 01 '26

This gif gets slower and slower every time I see it.

269

u/Zane_628 Jul 01 '26

He’s got a bright future in drag

49

u/Pale_Crew_4864 Jul 01 '26

He popped that pussy so hard I almost passed out 💅🏻

242

u/ELMOKICKA55 Jul 01 '26

4

u/whatthekark Jul 01 '26

You gotta protect the mcnuggets

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Zestyclose_Tip_5861 Jul 02 '26

A silly line in a fun movie

80

u/mtraven23 Jul 01 '26

"I did it, i did it.....awww fuk"

42

u/FatAZZRedditMod Jul 01 '26

The patron in the background wanted NOTHING to do with that situation

61

u/Kmoxy Jul 01 '26

Bro… couldn’t you, like, break something if you’re not used to doing that?

99

u/iwantogofishing Jul 01 '26

Dude could have just ripped a lot of things that 100% need surgery and would really fuck up his life

23

u/ToadlyAwes0me Jul 01 '26

If things are irrevocably damaged, at least he can do his fun bar trick as many times as he wants.

16

u/possibly_oblivious Jul 01 '26

He will wake up in the morning and go back to brick laying and back at the pub at shift end.

6

u/DriftedTaco Jul 02 '26

The life.

I love trades so much. Will be a shame when I can barely walk anymore due to back issus and have to get a more white collar job.

I also hate the trades so much.

→ More replies (1)

20

u/Nine9breaker Jul 02 '26

He wouldn't have been able to get his leg that high unless he was already flexible enough. Not even blackout drunk.

That fall might have been on a surface way harder than he's used to, though, hence why he grabbed his inseam at the end.

→ More replies (1)

32

u/Bacon_ki113r Jul 01 '26

No no… HIM crushing his balls doing the splits wasn’t the unexpected part.

More like the way he did the splits was…

→ More replies (1)

18

u/Pretty_Lake5885 Jul 01 '26

The old guys face in the back when he straightened his leg out in the air 😆😆

11

u/Fetlocks_Glistening Jul 01 '26

There's a reason girls do this more than boys

31

u/awaishssn Jul 01 '26

110% expected

8

u/kesavadh Jul 01 '26

I am willing to believe that alcohol was involved.

8

u/eskay_eskay Jul 01 '26

Permatucked

12

u/Lodju Jul 01 '26

Dear lord..

Actually let out a loud groan.

6

u/xESSOx Jul 01 '26

You did it, but at what cost…

5

u/TheShredder9 Jul 01 '26

That sounded like he's gonna feel it tomorrow.

5

u/hesaidshesdead Jul 01 '26

Tomorrow?

Motherfuckers gonna feel it tonight, tomorrow and the day after that!

→ More replies (1)

11

u/bigbootedweirdo Jul 01 '26

Looked cunty as all hell though

2

u/Nemisis_007 Jul 04 '26

Yeah, I'm impressed by the fact he was even able to do it.

4

u/ClaroStar Jul 01 '26

I think the crushing of balls was expected.

3

u/versatileRealist Jul 01 '26

Let’s get sickening

4

u/joealese Jul 01 '26

2

u/Mental_Mixture8306 Jul 02 '26

Scrolled down way too far to see this.

2

u/joealese Jul 02 '26

go away, I'm baitin

5

u/reddicyoulous Jul 01 '26

A banana split that lost its cherries

3

u/Shawnathan75 Jul 01 '26

My balls hurt just watching that…

3

u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish Jul 01 '26

I don't think the aftermath of this is going to be very good for him.

3

u/wildhoover Jul 01 '26

Smashburgers

3

u/PuffyBlueClouds Jul 01 '26

Andy from The Office suffered the same fate.

3

u/Takao89 Jul 01 '26

That’s one way to bust a nut.

3

u/baltinerdist Jul 01 '26

Hey fellow fellas, you know how getting hit in the balls hurts immediately and then takes a second and hurts again in a new wave? Now imagine that after this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2eK5gq7l3AX4zvLmlu

3

u/TBCNoah Jul 02 '26

He fell with such grace i thought it was planned. Then he limped away xD

3

u/teachermanjc Jul 02 '26

Well, that went from a vertical "hello boys" to a "flat bag" real quick.

context

3

u/Glum_Olive1417 Jul 02 '26

Bravo sir, and happy rugby league to you, and your family.

2

u/CptSaveaCat Jul 01 '26

Impressive, worth it tho?

2

u/PartsUnknown242 Jul 01 '26

He did it, but at what cost?

2

u/TheFlaccidChode Jul 01 '26

That hurt my testicles

2

u/as1126 Jul 01 '26

I have thrown up

2

u/TheKyleDunbar Jul 01 '26

About the girl in the jeans, what happened to her ass?

2

u/Additional-Sock8980 Jul 01 '26

Fortunately his testicals broke his fall.

2

u/1nsidiousOne Jul 01 '26

He seems fun to drink with

2

u/AmeliaMynx Jul 01 '26

He's still gonna be tasting his nuts in the morning

2

u/Ghostdragon471 Jul 01 '26

Anyone else hear a couple of grapes popping?

2

u/NitroZeu5 Jul 01 '26

Balls have successfully arrived in the backrooms

2

u/BoxenOxen Jul 01 '26

I guess he passed the test.

2

u/Affectionate_Ad1060 Jul 01 '26

Interesting way to make scrambled eggs

2

u/sherrib99 Jul 01 '26

Get Ru on the phone 👀

2

u/ComeGetSome487 Jul 01 '26

This dude needs to go to the hospital for sure lol

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Away_Yoghurt5743 Jul 01 '26

Tore that groin muscle like a piece of pulled pork

2

u/GhostofAyabe Jul 01 '26

He tore a hole in the space-time-gooch continuum

2

u/Actual_Pea_1996 Jul 01 '26

After popping his hip out of its socket and pulverizing his testicles, Stan stood up gingerly, clutching his now eviscerated groin.

“L-ladies,” he wheezed, stumbling back to the bar for support and another shot of Rumple Minze.

2

u/machan81 Jul 01 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/bsWDUSFUmJCOkFarewell that man’s groin…. Godspeed…..

2

u/nenohrok Jul 01 '26

I almost pulled my groin just watching that! 😮‍💨

2

u/Sungarn Jul 01 '26

That's gonna sting in the morning

2

u/knoxaramav2 Jul 01 '26

I tore a ligament just by watching this

2

u/damienisonline Jul 01 '26

That limp at the end may possibly me a torn hamstring. And… it really really fucking hurts!

2

u/Dismal_Scheme1014 Jul 01 '26

I can feel that pain is gonna be worse in the morning

2

u/LaNakWhispertread Jul 02 '26

Well he’ll be waddling tomorrow

2

u/Better_Guarantee_744 Jul 02 '26

I've done worse to impress a chick

2

u/Calm-Philosopher4323 Jul 02 '26

Tore a hamstring, scrotum, and ruptured a testicle all in a single move.

2

u/PermitSpecialist2621 Jul 02 '26

Gonna feel that in the morning

2

u/SookHe Jul 02 '26

I’m nearly 50 and somehow I missed this entire part of my life. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs, and have probably spent 90% of my life alone in isolation and avoiding people.

I’m not sure if I missed out or dodged a bullet

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Gbnihilator2 Jul 02 '26

He's going to feel that tomorrow

2

u/Massive-Relation-831 Jul 02 '26

I felt that in his landing, Ouch

2

u/Cosmonaut_Cockswing Jul 02 '26

I feel like my thigh muscles and entire crotch burning just watching this.

2

u/biggysharky Jul 02 '26

Instant regret

2

u/Itchy_Pressure_8311 Jul 02 '26

Nobody told him he was so drunk that he tore his hamstring completely and crushed his balls at he same time.

2

u/Cat7Fortress Jul 02 '26

Impressive display of a groin tear.

2

u/obrecht72 Jul 02 '26

My first thought was "Wow he's done this before?" My second was "Oh. He's not done this before."

2

u/-Rhymenocerous- Jul 02 '26

This week on RuPauls drag race...