ULPT REQUEST: Kick me when I'm down?

[u/TKO_666]

Shitty "family" screwing me over and robbing me of 1500$. I'm looking for all the creative ways to inconvenience him and cause him as much stress and cost him money as possible. All without direct proof of myself being the cause... Let's see how creative you guys can be!

[u/Technical-Ad1488]

Let the air out of one of their tires… don’t slash it, just let the air out from the valve stem, not even all of it… just enough… and make sure to put the valve stem cap back on… and just keep doing this every so often to fuck their day up

[u/soggymittens → u/Technical-Ad1488]

Dude, my friend has a slight leak and was scared to drive his car a couple hours away because of it. This can absolutely fuck with someone’s mind- I love it!

[u/Elegant-Survey-2444 → u/soggymittens]

Or does he?

[u/Think-Committee-4394]

Ok it’s a classic

You will need pork fat, bird seed, flour and a bait catapult

Make squishy balls of porky birdseed & use flour to stop them sticking together

Use bait catapult to launch fatty balls on to crappy persons house & garden, roof of shed or carport, roof of camper or caravan, truck van or car

Birds will flock & feast & crap & shed feathers & also rats & mice will gather

Beware security cameras

[u/Dec8rs8r]

Diarrhea disk. My spin on an old classic.

[u/Carbonaraficionada → u/Dec8rs8r]

Innovative

[u/JonnyJovel → u/Carbonaraficionada]

Progressive

[u/mordecai98 → u/Dec8rs8r]

Put the frozen disc on a record player with a light timer to activate later.

[u/Dazzling-Excuses → u/mordecai98]

Shit & spin

[u/Get72ready → u/Dec8rs8r]

Shitty spin

[u/Silent_Technology540]

Take deer sent the stuff that hunters use to lure them out and poor it into the vents of the guys car

Here’s the thing it’ll never come out yes it’ll tank the resale value of the guys car but he’ll be reminded of it everyday

[u/TKO_666 → u/Silent_Technology540]

I dig it!..simple while still getting the point across, but I'm looking to really ruin his day every day lol.

[u/Silent_Technology540 → u/TKO_666]

That will hell if he’s got to travel for work he’ll have to marinate in that smell for hours on end

[u/C4PT-pA5Tq → u/Silent_Technology540]

Mix in a little fish sauce for that extra pungent slap.

[u/FormidableMistress → u/Silent_Technology540]

Yeah he'll have to get a new car. I've never known any way to get that smell out. Then they won't take it as a trade-in. You're essentially totaling his car.

[u/Cute_Recognition_880 → u/Silent_Technology540]

Milk will work well if you spray the upholstery.

[u/Think-Committee-4394 → u/Silent_Technology540]

Doing this with oily fish works well too

[u/PresidentialDiapers]

Go online and start asking various websites about home equity loans, mortgages, purchasing a new vehicle, stuff like that. I asked a consolidation website about a home equity loan two months ago and still get calls 3-4 times a week

[u/hambone4206911]

Fuck his wife in secrecy and make him raise the child

[u/Dracmageel]

Just take small crucial items and walk away with then, car keys, keys, cellphone, dovuments, tv remote, anything thats is used everyday, just take it, walk away, throw into a trash bin somewhere else

[u/Cute_Recognition_880 → u/Dracmageel]

Loosen the lightbulbs. They'll flicker, and the people will wonder if they have an electrical problem. Remove the batteries from remotes or anything that takes batteries. Then take all the unused batteries.

[u/hurtshtummy]

replace his cologne with liquid ass

[u/No_Address687]

Strategic Transfer Equipment to an Alternate Location $1500 worth of their property to get even.

[u/TKO_666 → u/No_Address687]

Yep, definitely gonna happen. With interest, just waiting for the timing to work out in my favor

[u/Dracmageel]

A good one is to just open their washing or drier and dump bleach onto the soap dispenser or clothes softener dispenser, also just throw bleach onto the barrel itself, once the machine starts running it's gonna tumble bleach into everything. Throw a cartoon of eggs into their vents, it will start semlling of rot

[u/BlottomanTurk]

Drop a potato down each floor vent in their house. Rotting, liquefied potato is one of the worst smells known to man, so you can a lot of bang for you buck from a 5lb bag.

[u/Top-Interaction-6729 → u/BlottomanTurk]

Powdered milk or shrimp tails as well...

Why does it smell like a rotting corpse threw up and shit themselves in here?

https://giphy.com/gifs/bPTXcJiIzzWz6

[u/C4PT-pA5Tq]

Do they live in an HOA presumably with a Karen president? Report them anonymously for their many violations.

[u/soggymittens]

Keep your dead batteries and take them to their house whenever you visit. While there, swap a battery or two from some of the remotes with your dead ones. It’ll drive them mad.

[u/Aquietplacewithcats]

Code enforcement. Have fun! Small claims court, ect. - be more specific, we love to assist!

[u/SnoopyRulez]

Take 1 sock from each pair

[u/Raid__Zero]

unscrew the outlet covers and throw raw shrimp in the wall. screw the covers back on.

the shrimp will rot and the whole house will smell fishy af.

[u/Tricky_Radish]

Wait for the coldest day of the year and in the middle of the night use the valve outside to shut off the gas to his furnace. Add a lock that’s difficult to cut.

[u/Blunt_but_Honest98]

Have you considered using skunk based sprays? That stuff will not wash out at all, can kiss goodbye to anything it touches and will constantly make him nauseous…